Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Attainable Variances Are Invariably Low

Season's greetings blog readers! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year's and all that jazz (F#Maj9 - haha)! I hope everyone got what they wanted. That's a bit of a stupid comment to make isn't it? Ahh I meant for this to be short, but alas stream of consciousness kicks in and off I fly.

Anyway, it bothers me how the commercial sector has hijacked a religious holiday such as Christmas for their own ends. It's really sickening, it's all about spending in order to have a satisfactory christmas. If you don't get what you want, rebel. If you don't get what people want, you're a bad person. It's horrendous. I wonder why there isn't a bigger deal about this, such is the threat of capitalist consumerism.

After getting that out of the way, it was a pretty boring day for me at first, then there was a party, now I have a headache. 2 days after, crazy. Big props to the Anjmeister for the DVD - When A Stranger Calls. Apparently he saw the girl on the cover and thought I'd enjoy it. Damn him and his correctness! However he then spoiled it with a rather hell-arious comment which I shall not repeat (in reference to the most famous member of the Church Of Scientology in drag - if you've seen the movie you'll know what I mean). It was a pretty dodgy ending, and it didn't help that we had OD'd on Anj's special mixture and the dinner was no longer good to eat, luckily us having third world stomachs saved us from getting sick.

I was grossly ignorant about the rate list, and I have a monster update coming for that soon, so hang about for that one cause it's a goody! Again, have a good end of year people!

Friday, December 22, 2006

Your bones don't crack like they used to

It's a good thing I check this blog everyday as part of my netchecklist. Otherwise I would have totally forgotten about the hilarious story. I also apologise for last night's rushed post but I was tired and it had been a busy day.

Anyway, on to my story. There was this annoying guy in college (which would amount to High School for you Americans) who lived on my street. Anyway, nobody in my group liked him. In fact, nobody liked him. He was annoying and he'd always find a way to sidle us and get himself involved in everything when we didn't want him there. Never the less, he got involved with a girl who I was becoming close to at the time. This freaked me out and annoyed me to no end. He was everywhere!!! Then it turns out he knew a friend of mine outside of school and was at her birthday party and I had to put up with his antics there!

Time had passed and I hadn't heard from him because we were at different universities. Then I ran into him at another friend's birthday party and he was dating another girl who I rated!! Ahhhh, so not cool! He's become a nemesis of sorts, a "Newman" of my very own (Seinfeld for the uninitiated). I ran into this girl again last night, and after I remembered she dated this guy I was so disgusted because he's just such a pain in the ass, yet she seemed like a smart girl. However, I found they have broken up so that's quite excellent, excellent indeed. You know what? I think I'm going to watch Serendipity tonight, I'm in the mood for some, and some slushie too, but no shops are open!! Have a nice day folks!

Thursday, December 21, 2006


Thank you Justin King. I have retuned my electric to DADGAD (open Dsus4) and it is bloody gorgeous. Starting to get into instrumental composition, cause it's just so easy in this tuning, so lively and interesting. Chords are so much better!! My note for note playing has suffered cause it doesn't sound too good but everything else does. Learned Beauty Bar and Something about Angels! Next step, learning Change and Untitled, then I shall be awesome!

Update for the Joaquin Rate List is coming soon. Ran into someone I haven't seen in a long time today, and damn, they have become mighty fine, it's not fair! Note to self, Puttz story for tomorrow. You'll enjoy it, trust me!

Have a nice day folks.

Friday, December 15, 2006

The Revisionist Legacy

I am in such a good mood. Next year I have only three classes for the first semester and only two exams. Second semester I only have 2 classes and one exam, things are going to be sweet but oh so hard. They're my hardest classes, and on top of that I will be doing an Honours paper so things shall be interesting. But I'm still flying high, I can't wait!

Stupid cricket!! Because of it, tv gets screwed up on one channel and Quizmania gets delayed, which is not cool on a Nikki night!

So I was wrong, oh so very wrong. I thought I'd made my last update to the Joaquin Rate List for a while, but oh no! I have 5 more names to put in, but don't worry, the #1 will never be replaced (I don't think so anyway).

The other day, I was being driven around to a place near my university, behind the shopping centre for that area, a place I have not visited since childhood. Anyway, immense change has occurred in the area. It actually looked a lot better than previously. I don't think it was a response to residential development, because the area is quite old and hasn't grown, but the commercial sector there has always been quite stable. Much better than the change in the city centre (which I have posted about previously). Makes me want to sing Justin King's Change actually. The lyrics are quite appropriate, but I suggest you get the song.

I was watching Nip/Tuck the other day (a show I realised is awesome, and thus must go back to the start and watch all the eps), and someone on the show mentioned that beauty exists to preserve the species.

I whole heartedly agree, it's the perfect concept of survival of the fittest in action. This concept is being pushed by the media inherently. What makes society civilised then? If we push magazines not to publish things alluding to that, then do we put our survival at risk? I think I had a lot more to write, but everything escapes me now so that's it for the day. Have a good one folks!

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Covering Old Ground...

I am cravingggg a slushie!! Ahhh, do I dare go to my local shops to buy one?? I haven't been there in ages, I don't like the place. And I don't think that place that sold them is there anymore. The joys of small business I suppose. Scissor Sisters rock. Cold front coming in tomorrow so hopefully I'll string together a coherent post.

Monday, December 11, 2006

I Don't Feel Like Dancin', No Sir, No Dancin' Today

Kickbacks and slush(ie) funds. Ahh if only that was the way.

It's too hot for a proper post.

The other day I had a slushie for the first time in years. It was AWESOME! They are my favourite drink of all time. Especially lime!! I love everything lime, best citrus fruit out there. Damn Orange and Lemons getting all the props. The world isn't fair.

I think I need to buy another slushie sometime this week.

Sunday, December 10, 2006


Strapless In Strapsville


Someone judged me.

It was awful.

As you would know (if you've been reading the Joaquin Rate List - JRL, which if you read my posts, you would be perusing on a regular basis), Nikki Osborne is the #1 reigning champion of the list. She recently posed for a men's magazine called Ralph. Don't worry, it's not pornography ala Playboy or something like that, but if you ask me, mags like Ralph are pretty lowbrow. Anyway, Nikki is Nikki and as such, I had to buy it. This posed a dilemma as all the newsagent staff are like teenage girls still in high school or college and it was just an absolute riot trying to decide which girl looked the least innocent so that she wouldn't be corrupted or I would feel the least guilty about.

Anyway, let me digress for a little while to talk about a friend of mine who is still in college. He was showing me a picture of someone he liked, and also in that picture was a very cute girl. I told him to set us up (jokingly), and anyway time passed.

Cut back to 2 days ago, and I was buying this magazine looking all shifty. Haha as a quick sidenote, why would they place the guy magazines next to the teen girl mags???! I took it up to the counter while it was packed, and I was being nice and letting everyone ahead of me, but it just made me look worse and the girl at the counter looked familiar. As you have guessed by now, my friend (who was with me coincidentally) pointed out (AFTER, mind you) that the girl was the same girl from the picture. This was horrifying as this other dude in line was eyeing me off like I was some dirty old man, even though I was like 20 years his juniour. And the girl at the counter just looked at me as if I was scum. Haha there goes that chance!

Haha it was just a comedy of errors, and my city effect comes back to bite me in the ass. It's all connected to me I just know it! Hopefully it won't ever happen again (I hope)! Anyway, have a nice day folks!

Thursday, December 07, 2006

I'm Thrown!

I apologise for my absence, but with my golden entries lately, I thought I would be forgiven. It's good to see the others are having fun while overseas (as long as they get back in one piece)!

So my dear bear is not able to be fixed!! The only place in my city that specialises in repairs says they are unable to do it out of fear of destroying it completely!! Damn them! Now I have to hope it holds together for the rest of my life. I don't know what their problem is, it only needs a re-stuffing and a re-stitching and everything will be peachy!! But they can't even do that! Talk about letting the consumer down, bad for economics I say!

It almost killed me, but after many weeks of watching 2 (sometimes 3) movies a day, I have finally finished my movie block!! I had to watch Banlieue 13 (a french film) with no subtitles but I still understood a bit of what was going on, I also watched Tom Yoong Gong (a Thai film) with no subtitles, I had no idea what was going on but damn the action was sweet and Tony Jaa is a machine!!! So all that's really left now is to watch some of the tv shows I have stocked up (even though I've seen most of the eps) so that shouldn't take too long. I also have 3 various G3 concerts, as well as a crap load of instructional videos!! Speaking of, made up some new songs (instrumental wise), as well as finished up some old ones that I have been working on for yonks so I am very pleased.

I was informed by a friend who told me that he googled my name and found 2 items that are actually about me!! I was scared, even more so when I was told that my voice is online!!! How scary is that?? I even checked for myself and he was telling the truth! Damn internet.

Well it's early December which means High Schoolers and College kids have finished for the year and are out monopolising shopping centres, movie theatres, restaurants, nightclubs, bus interchanges, dark alleys and suburbs for the summer. That's so stupiddd! My friend suggested a friday no child policy or curfew, I thought this was a brilliant idea and should be enacted by the local legislature! Damn children!

Also damn Berri Pulp Free Orange Juice!! I am addicted!!! They make it taste sooo damn good. I wouldn't be surprised if it had MSG! The only other stuff I drink is the occasional glass of water, and on Fridays and Saturdays one 350ml bottle of Vanilla Coke. So this means in summer I am getting 7 hits of OJ a day, it's too much, but I can't get enough!

I have been reading through our old blog notes (there is a HELL of a lot of stuff I tell you), and it's interesting just to see how much I've changed, even in a short span of just two years. Still getting through stuff, I'm only a few months through.

So what's the good news you ask? I can't count! That's correct, I cannot! As a result of my foolishness, I realised I actually get to graduate at the end of 2007, so I am one happy person thank you very much!!! I get to graduate with all my friends and I even have a much more reduced workload over the year so I am sitting pretty thank you very much!! Muhaha, I feel good!! It also means I get to have 2 graduation ceremonies next year as I will have done both my degrees, yay!

Have a nice day folks! OH OH OH! I realised there is a few more additions to the patented Joaquin Rate List (JRL), and they shall be added as soon as humanly possible (since I'm on hols and oh so very lazy, this may be a while, but I'll try)! That's it for today.

Monday, December 04, 2006


Greetings readers. Man it's been a long time since i last posted anything. Enjoying myself back i the motherland, as is knaves. Visiting the green fairy often as we r on vacation, which i had badly needed, as in the vacation.LOL. Yea so been up to alot. Checking out a lot of the new places around Dhaka. Some decent, some abhorent and some just filthy. Shit load to do nowadays. On the other hand, its hard goin out without fearing for ur life. The political scene is just crazy, ppl trying to kill eachother over gaining THE POWER, so that they can steal more money, instill more corruption, kill more people, and steal some more money. Arrite lemme break B NP had served its tenure, there had been a smoothe transition of the handing of power from the ruliing party to the caretaker government. After the transition, the awami league suggested that BNP had put its own henchmen on the seat of the caretaker government, thus the CEC, according to the AL was a strong supporter of BNP. AL went on to protest, ordering for the resignation of the CEC, a change in the EC as well as recounting the voters list. They suggested that they would go on continuous strike, which they have, until their requirements were met.

In Bangladesh, ppl have a very acute sense of what a dialogue is. Their best remedy of political disagreement is violence, going on strike, and killing ppl left and right. For crying out loud, they were showing ppl being beaten to the death by police battons on TV. Blood spilling everywhere. Eat ur heart out "WORLDS MOST AMAZING VIDEOS".

Anyways, enough blabbering on about politics. Later ppl.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

I'm Only Hearing Negatives...

What a quick turnaround, small businesses would be proud of me! Hahaha! Not a hell of a lot to say today though.

My resolution actually came good last night and I watched Red Eye and Crash. Both AWESOME AWESOME movies. Red Eye was brilliantly acted, Rachael McAdams is a very capable dramatic actress and once again, the sublime Cillian Murphy blew me away with his flawless technique, he is just a joy to watch. Crash, WOW, what a brutal movie, I have to say it is one of the more important films made in recent history. Ryan Phillipe's acting has come a long way since Cruel Intentions. I think it thorougly deserved the Best Picture Oscar last year, and all this talk about Hollywood being homophobic is unwarranted, Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger's acting abilities were not enough to carry Brokeback Mountanin's message across and it simply did not deserve to win.

I think for tonight's viewing I shall enjoy Into The Blue and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (which I have been meaning to see for ages)! I'm also watching the Chaser's War On Everything from the first ep (cause I didn't start watching it till mid season through) and it's quite good.

If you have been reading the Joaquin Rate List (JRL), then you'll know that a fair few OC actresses have made it on, which you would consider strange as I have slandered the show since it's very beginning. However, now that Mischa Barton's character has died, I have watched it, and not only that, I have enjoyed it immensely. I do like it, I have turned to the dark side I know, but I think that it's gotten better since MB's character has left as I could not stand her. Don't get me wrong, the acting is horrendous and it's so horrifically teen cliched that it makes me want to wretch but it's a bit of fun. If I'm home I'll watch it, if I miss it I won't cry over it.

I also had the opportunity to start viewing Season 2 of Prison Break (I finished episode 6), and I must say WOW, I didn't think they could keep up the intensity of the 1st season, but they have and not only that, they have surpassed it and the ensemble cast are really coming into their own. Can't wait to watch the rest of the season!

Also had some verrrry interesting news from university, but as soon as it's confirmed I shall let the rest of you in on it. That's it for today folks, have a nice day!

Monday, November 27, 2006

It's Driven Me Before...

Ahh holiday slackness, how good art thou?? Well not too much, because I'm not sleeping properly, and I'm getting wayyy too much screen time. As such, it's prompted me to move my screen refresh rate from 60hz to 75 and they feel better which is grand because the red eyes of death have been appearing again!! My eyes look brown and red, quite horrific really.

I have resolved to watch 2 movies on my External HD tonight!! Finally, getting holiday stuff done! I got in a good round of guitar practice the other day, and those Steve Vai exercises really work a treat, although I did forget some of the finger positions so I was struggling for a bit there. Speed and accuracy have returned! Even to the monster 14 gauge (shotgun) strings that are on the other's acoustic.

Marks came out the other day and I'm happy. Not overly joyed but happy none the less and so are the parentals, so that's good enough for me.

I saw the cleverest clip the other day. It's by David Vendetta and it's a dance remix of Donna Summer's Love To Love You Baby. It's actually better than your standard night club rave fare in terms of dance music. Anyway, in the clip it's your standard dance visuals, people dancing as sillhouettes as well as the DJ, then it gets to the bridge where it slows down and Summer's vocals come in and there are 2 girls dancing together in their underwear, then the bridge ends and it goes back to normal and I thought it was so well done I couldn't help but shake my head because the time signature just shifts out of nowhere and I love it.

The heat so far hasn't been TOO brutal, I fear I have gotten used to it as I actually felt cold last night. I listened to White Shadows by Coldplay and I must say the interplay between the guitar, bass and drums works so well (you know which bit I'm talking about if you've heard the song), but the rest of the song just falls so flat on it's face that it just irks me. It could have been such a good song, sigh!

Props go out to the S Meister for the full stack of Lisa Loeb songs I have been given. My LCD Monitor is cooking!! I guess I better make it quick, I've been on for a while. I have been RTWing. I decided to make 2 saves, and as such I have started the Civil War, and I have taken Rome. That was simple as I wiped out the SPQR's army first before I attacked the city in my own version (not as good) version of Cannae. I had infantry in echelon formation, just stationary, sent the cavalry around the flanks and destroyed the rear of their army (including their generals) and then rushed them to close the "circle" with the infantry in brutal fashion! I love it. Unfortunately, my save at that early point was at a stage when most of my provinces weren't self sufficient (my other game is trying to build up cities so that all are self sufficient before I can attack) so nothing much is happening there. Anyway, on the Civil War save, I am now plunging deeper into debt each turn, so I can't replace troops or make new ones, which means I have to take cities with depleted armies (which I have never tried before). However my defensive siege tactics are awesome. In old games I have been butchered while sallying out, but this time I got my queue from the movie Troy. Archers on the walls, all infantry outside of the castle in a straight line and cavalry around the back to take out commanders and force them into the infantry line to be chewed out. I really need to stop talking about that game but it's so damn addictive and good.

Anyway, that's it for today folks, have a nice day!

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Go Your Own Way, Or Tell Me Lies

Hello everyone! Only 3 days since the last post and this one! I think I'm getting better in my holiday slackness. Last night the S Meister and I saw The Prestige. It was probably the best time to see it because college folk and high schoolers are still at school so we had the cinema to ourselves basically and it was gold, I hate teenagers! Anyway, I wasn't TOO hellbent on seeing this film, but it was the best thing that was on at the time and I was pleasantly surprised! It wasn't my choice, cause S Meister had to sit through my bad pick of Silent Hill a few weeks ago. The Prestige is extremely well acted, and the crazy ass time shifting narrative was well handled. I enjoy being surprised like that, even though the S Meister and I figured out the ending only 40 mins into the film which wasn't so nice! It reminds me of one time in High School we missed out on seeing something when we arrived to the movies late so we wound up watching A Perfect Murder which was excellent, in fact I'm sure it was better than the movie we were intending to see. So lesson to learn? Expect the unexpected. It was incredibly enjoyable. Oh yes, and also to make the most of this 2 week period before teenagers take over society and I'm stuck in my house.

The weather isn't as bad as it used to be, or maybe it's different cause the fans have been moved back upstairs, and I have made the change from trakkies to boxer shorts so I'm cooler, and footloose and fancy free, it feels good!

I overslept like a mofo today which was a bit strange, cause I didn't even go to bed late last night/this morning. I don't even remember my alarm going off in order to turn it off and go back to sleep! I also put it down to having the strangest dream about one Emma Watson (aka Hermoine from the Harry Potter movies). This is incredibly odd, as I have never watched a Harry Potter movie, nor have I read any of the books. In my dream, for some reason the people from Harry Potter were in my town, and I had to show Emma Watson around town. This was interesting, as going around, nothing looked familiar, I could tell at the time that it was a mashup of various suburbs and landmarks but I didn't say anything. After that we went shopping and she didn't have enough money, so I had to buy her a dress. This was even weirder as we were walking in circles in this shopping precinct and I'm DEAD certain that I have not even been to a place which even remotely resembles this place, which makes me wonder where my subconscious picked it up. It was funny cause for an even stranger reason we were taking public transport, which makes me think why I did not use my own car to transport a celebrity around! Cause we were just gawked at by everyone. This didn't help since we were getting chummy (and NOT in a freakin' Joaquin is going to jail way thank YOU very much)! I also think it was a similar place to one I dreamt of a few nights ago, where I was arrested for trespassing, and while evading police I got a senator who my dad knows to act as my counsel! Haha how strange is that?? Crazy ass mind I tell you.

Marks tomorrow!!! I am sooo not looking forward to it, but I've done all I can, however I am still left with the feeling that I could have done more. Ahh holidays have been on for a while but I have been oh so very slack, I need to start my movies/tv show watching ANDDD guitar practice! But I have just been watching Quizmania and playing Rome Total War most nights! All the foreign faction lands have been taken, now I just have to initiate the civil war (after I have built up all my remaining lands to a sufficient rate to withstand a barrage of attacks) and see where I can go. I just hope there's enough time for everything.

I have spoken to the other, and he says that he shall blog soon, so keep an eye out for that one! In today's edition of Fly, there was a band on the cover, 2 members of which I went to college with! I can tell you right now that the other and I are better than them, cause we are just damn damn damn good. I don't think you realise how good we are, sheeit, I sound like Kanye don't I? Well in our case it's justified! I also must make some time for Les Femme Anomaly, I've only seen her a few times at uni this sem and it wasn't enough. It's holidays damn it!

ANNNND! As requested, here is the latest update for the Trademarked, Copyrighted and Patented Joaquin Rate List (JRL) haha feels like SPQR (in joke for lovers of history). Speaking of which, I LOVEEE RTW! I have read over so many ancient warfare battle tactics on wikipedia, that I am basically unbeatable!! God bless the battle of Cannae and Hannibal's double encirclement, I also used some of Scipio Africanus' micromanagement strategies from the battle of Zama to brutal effect when greatly outnumbered in perhaps the greatest crushing victory of all time! Sorry, distracted there for a bit! Where was I? That's right, the Joaquin Rate List has been updated, and I've had this one sitting in the pipeline for many months (for which I apologise, I know I've been quite slack about it). However, I'm quite sure that it will be the last one for while (come on, how many attractive women are there in the world)?! Remember folks, the list can be found at:

That's it for today people, hope you enjoyed the monster update and have a nice day (haha you should hope I sleep in more so that I can blog more often)!

Monday, November 20, 2006

You Know I Need A Miracle

I apologise for the lengthy delay between the last post and this one, but I have not been lazy! I have been out and about doing plenty, so I think that's a legitimate excuse!

In fact, it almost turned into doing too much too soon as soon as holidays started and I would have been burned out, so I have taken some days off (from hols, isn't that crazy) in order to have some truly slack days.

However, this is an impossibility due to the heat! It's the high temp low humidity heat, which is the worst cause it's a dry still heat and I am just caked in my own sweat.

Results are out on Friday, and I am quietly confident, let's see what happens.
I don't remember if I mentioned it before, but just in case I haven't, let me re-state it! I had a chance to catch the U2 concert in Sydney on the 13th, but my last exam was on the 14th so I could not go!!! How bad is that??! Stupid exams, I shoulda written that on my paper.

So next up (for the next post) will be THAT long awaited addition to the Joaquin rate list, which shall be glorious indeed.

I also may be going to good ol' Europa some time in Dec (for as short as possible hopefully), and maybe meet up with friends so I can do a France/Italy/Czech Republic one week jaunt (which just may kill me cause I don't know how that's even possible). We'll see what happens with that.

I missed out on going to a week long coastal in order to keep a Wednesday appointment with a friend, damn double bookings! I feel like a Barrister (double bookings is one of the few ways they can skip going to court due to the cab rank principle).

I really wish I had something substantial to say but it's too hot and I am unable to think properly! I have not spoken to the other in a while, but I assume that means he's just having fun. That's enough for today, have a nice day folks.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

It used to be a small town

I have finally finished exams and I am out for the year! It feels good. Once again, many apologies but I studied like a maniac and I was very well prepped for my exams so it was damn well worth it. Let's hope the marks reflect that.

The other has left us for his regular overseas jaunt and I think he's living it up. I don't know how much though, since I am in possession of the other's guitar! It's good practice, high gauge high tension strings, and a huge ass dreadnaught body, it's like trying to play a cello in a guitar position! It's helping my playing a lot in terms of technique.

So now that I'm done, I'm hoping to carry out a lot of Rome Total War! I have quite close to taking over Rome, I've done the 50 provinces easily, but the entire world map is going to be another issue. I keep having financial difficulties, and have to deal with a lot of uprisings, but it's a very enjoyable game.

Went to the new shopping precinct in town and I was let down horribly! It is a dreary place to be and I actually felt claustrophobic and a little suicidal when I walked in, cause the architecture is horrible and it feels like a really isolating place. How this plays into consumerism I don't know, as shopping is meant to have the opposite effect on people.

But the more I thought about it, it hit me that my town is changing for the worse. Over the past 20 years everything has just gone downhill (kinda like a few of my towns in RTW) and growth is just rampant, but societally speaking, it cannot be handled. Crime is on the rise, and the commercial sector in town is just swallowing up what's left of decent society. It really sucks. I actually feel like leaving, and considering I love this place (and the other and I are probably the only ones in our age group that do), it's not a good realisation. It's really a good microcosm of society and globalisation really, just a swimming mass of faces spending up, and no semblence of humanity.

On that post modern existentialist take, I shall now leave, however I will be back for regular updates, cause I'm 22 and I'm on holidays (bitches)! But I have a lot of stuff planned for the next couple of days so don't expect anything substantial. Also say a few prayers for my little baby (the bear), who is finally being patched up after 27 years of life! I don't know how I'm going to survive 2 weeks without her, it's going to be some tough nights I tell you. Anyway, have a nice day!

Sunday, October 29, 2006

And so the marathon begins...

Another day has gone by, and now the week of doing nothing is over, and man what a week that has been. After I thought I'd be bored shitless for a week or so before I put my head down and start studying, turned out to be something of a welcome vacation. Waking up going thru the daily routeins, and then screwing my poor brain over a few last times before its put to good use gain. I think I've partied enough to last me the next couple of weeks. The last week has been one blur attached to another to create one big blur, and thats just how I would have done it again if I had a chance. Now all yerning is gone, and now I can study till I've reached the prize at the end of the rope.

One of my old buddies, came down from Brisbane as its stonefest here on campus for the next couple of days. Stonefest is the biggest music festival that happenes in Canberra and everyone seems to be psyched about it. As usual, after weighing whats at stake, and the fest, my responsibilities over shadowed what could be done, and I have decided to hit the books. As it is in, about a few days from now, I will long gone, on the home strecth. This time its gonna be a mission, but it should be a great feeling. Its been a while, actually, I don't think that I've done it since I've been here, that I actually have to go to Sydney and then decide what I want to do, as this time Jester is leaving before I am. I'll see you at home buddy, we'll have some good times.

I've been sleeping well for the last week or so, but I'm not sure if its because I've been sleeping, or because I've been so enibriated that bed was just the logical next step. Time shall only tell. Its funny, when there is a lot of time on your hands, or tend to forget, how hectic its actually going to be once you decide to get back into the flow of things. I shall do a good job with this, and now its at about the distance, that I should be able to just study till I leave Canberra in just about week and a half. Can't wait.

Somethings are ambigious about what the next portion of my life entales, but it shall soon be seens, and I seem to like it. Not knowing for the first time has made clam myself down. I'm sick and tired of what is planned and what needs to be done. A few months of sponteniety should be a welcome change.

Now there are a lot of other things to be worried about, what is going to happen to all my stuff? I swear the things I own, end up owning me. Can't wait to get rid of all this shit thats crowded my room here. It should be good, I always love packing up stuff, its the start to getting to somewhere else, and that is always a welcome change.

Anyways, I should stop procastinating, and start already. Stomach is yelling at me, so I guess I'll first go take care of that, then its going to be the very interesting text book for CMR, haha not! But it needs to be done. Take care folks...

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Tuesday, October 24, 2006

I know I won't be leaving here with you

Appropriate gratitude must be given where it's due and right now big props must go to the other for absolutely butchering the CMR assignment! This was the same assignment I only got a pass on a few years ago (cause I had a crap teacher), but the other has gotten a truly amazing mark. He also has one of the better tutors for that class (who actually knows what the subject is about), and such is the nature of the other's skill, he made points that the tutor disagreed with but argued well enough to warrant excellent marks, so that's just awesome!

I have my first Tuesday off for the semester (in the last week too) so I'm just gonna play some Rome Total War damn it!!! ONWARDS TO ROME!!!

Once again, super props to the other, and yes I still don't have any blog notes, so that's it for today!

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Inversion Of A Major That Won't Divide Itself

Good to see the other is coming up with some gold posts - self discovery and introspection is only ever good for the self. I haven't been doing much as all my assessment is done. Spent yesterday at a friend's birthday party and thanks to the stupid weather in our city it was freezing after being absolutely boiling for the last few days and now I have a cold. Hopefully it'll clear up during my final week. I've started counting up and I have 16 study days for 3 exams, but they're placed at odd intervals so it should be interesting studying I should think.

We're coming up on 365 posts which means you could read a post a day for a year! Also, with us just having celebrated our 2nd birthday/anniversary, this will make for an average of just under a post every 2 days which is a damn good effort I must say. Some people are just absolute freaks. A few months ago I heard this dance song which I absolutely fell in love with. But thanks to it being late night/early morning and on radio, there was no announce of what it was called. I tried for ages to track it down but to no avail. Eventually now a friend who I regularly share songs with sent it to me randomly and I was shocked as I told her about this song yet she didn't know what it was (cause the lyrics are hard to decipher). Anyway I was just amazed and happy, the song is called Planet Funk - Chase The Sun. Been listening to a lot of Mastodon, they're simply amazing. I've never heard prog/sludge metal done so well. Their riffs are disturbing and the use of odd time signatures is just amazing, a true display of musicianship.

I didn't get to see Saffire, which I am majorly annoyed about!! Ditto for missing Tommy Emmanuel, Yngwie Malmsteen and G3 (most are on during exam time)! Those bastards, it's like they plan it just so I can miss it! I'll show them, I'll show them all!!

I don't know if I'm covering old ground, but since Motor Ace broke up, Australian music has been in the doldrums (no, Jet is not a saving grace), but now two great bands are starting to show just how good we can be - The Casanovas and The Butterfly Effect. One a straight out good ol' rock band and the other is more progressive rock, kinda like a less intellectual and less skilled Tool but good none the less (less used 3 times in one sentence, I rock).

Sheesh, it's awfully early, but I must blog now or else I won't be able to tonight due to tv (The Bourne Supremacy is on and I haven't seen it before, and I loved the first one because of the realism), as well as F1!! I'm still hoping Macher can come through, win the race and have Raikkonen or Massa crash Alonso out, it shall be glorious indeed. Then I have school for the rest of the week so my blogging shall be curtailed slightly (although I do have Tuesday completely off). I downloaded the demo for Medieval 2 Total War (stupid I know, especially since I'm still conducting my first freakin' campaign in Rome Total War) and let me just say WOW! Looks bloody spectacular and it was utterly gorgeous (The Battle of Hastings was a delight, but I got my ass handed to me in The Battle of Pavia). But that's the problem, it looks TOO good, even on the lowest settings it just beat the hell out of my computer and chugged like a mofo which hampered my ability to lead properly or read any tactics. I'll have to update my computer considerably to play it well (which I want to do cause it should be enjoyed at it's highest settings) when there's a price drop after the game comes out. Hopefully that'll occur sometime in the holidays after I have totally finished my Rome and Barbarian Invasion campaigns. Speaking of which, I have played WAYYYY too much of that game during the weekends. I start at 12am, hoping to be in bed by 2am, but lo and behold it's usually 5am before I actually hit the hay because I always just have to go that extra step. As the House of Julii I have wiped out those pesky Gauls, in the middle of wiping out the Pavians on my Eastern front and am fighting a war with the Spanish on my Western front, it's tough stuff. As mentioned I took 2 serious defeats due to tactical errors early on against the gauls and I struck back with a vengeance. While sieging their last stronghold, they sallied forth with all their remaining army - approx. 1800 men, vs my finest (at the time) general and a miniscule army of 500 (about 200 cavalry, remaining foot soldiers). So you'd think I'd be terrified, but taking my cue from watching a crapload of documentaries on ancient warfare tactics and some common sense, I dished out a terrific crushing defeat on them.

Let me set the scene: I was at the Southern End in a Forest with two openings at the East and West side. I set my foot soldiers on the right side in defence mode in a column formation so that they seemed smaller to an opposing army until they were right on top of them. I placed all horse troops on the left side and began the battle. Straight away I rushed out and killed the first general and then their entire reinforcement army came in shoulder to shoulder stretching across the entire battle map. I set the order to charge and use my cavalry to sweep the screen West side to Eastside. I absolutely annihilated them and forced them to bottle neck to the East part of the forest, where my foot soldiers decimated what was left of everyone else! 40 of mine lost compared to their entire army being wiped out, it was gorgeous!

Another brilliant moment of strategy was against the Spanish, when they attacked with superior numbers against a depleted army, when I sent in reinforcements to the rear of the Spaniards. I got my first army to hide in the corner and just sent all reinforcements to charge from behind and absolutely destroyed them.

As you can probably tell, I have been getting too much of that game! Alright that's it for today folks, have a nice day!

I am no longer your bitch...

Woke up yesterday, yet unable to move, realized that I've found myself in a bind again for the Nth time. Waking up and realizing that you've been getting screwed left and right is not a good feeling. Especially when you realize that you've let them do it to you. This is about the time of year when I contemplate what is it all for, and why I am here. Everyone has a mission statement, and this is the time I evaluate where I stand. And I've realized that I'm so far removed that I don't recognize the person looking in the mirror anymore. So I took the journey that I so needed to take. The usual dosage, lots of music, lying down on the floor naked, and contemplating till I figure out what is wrong with me. This time it was more aparent than it usually is. Crystal isn't even that clear.

Life is all about choices, one wrong choice, and then you're not able to live that down ever in you life. I will base this blog around with lines from "Make Yourself- Incubus" this seems to quite clearly explain what is exactly wrong. "If I hadn't made I'd be more inclined to bow." This is true, I've never let myself bow to what other people have to say. I am always in control of what I want to do, and what I feel like doing. I will make or break myself, but it will be all me. As of late, I've sorta forgotten the non conformist pig that is the essence of me, and have become more inclined to bow, a conformist. This needs to be rectified right now, before I decide that self-combustication is easier than to go on living like this. I have over the last year or so become a few peoples bitches, and I've given too much importance to what they might think, and do exactly what they ask of me. And now it is evident that I have no say what so ever. This I cannot allow!

That brings me to dominant groups, or the power holders. It doesn't matter weather they like you or not. At the end of the day, they will think of no one else but themselves. And that is a fact of life and history. Be it parents, bosses, whoever it may be. At the end of the day, you'll always be the one bending if you do not start with not looking for aproval and do your own thing to start with. I've spent a lot of time, trying to get on the good side of some perticular people, but it didn't matter now did it? It would have been the same weather they liked me or not, I will still be the last person they will think of. Unless they need something, then they call upon me, as I am bound to do it. I've merely become a pawn, and its not right. I will step back and make myself.

I've also left too much of my hapiness dependant on other people. And this is flawed from the start. Only if I had seen this from before. Only person who can make you completely happy is yourself, and once that is accomplished, others can aid to it. And if that is acomplished, then they cannot bring you down. In the power struggle, I've abandoned my ship altogether. No more, its time to take the power back. I will no longer expect the dominant group to do anything for me, and not depend on their decissions anymore. I will take it as its not going to happen anymore, and hence never be disappointed in the first place. It is much safer, and I will find other things that I can do on my own. I will make myself, and if I fuck me??!!?? I'll fuck me in my own way...

I've become soft, I've become dependant, and I've become completely helpless. Its time to take the power back. The day starts with me, and it will end with me. I am more powerful than anyone would like to ever admit, maybe not in the traditional sense of it. But I will be the one to make me. And as another year passes, and that time of contemplation is over, I am again aware of what I need to be. There is no need for any massive change, just a mere change in attitude, and a willingness not to just give in. That I have been reborn with as of last night. So I wait for the next 12 months till I am back at this spot, and then I will evaluate myself as to how I've gone about fucking myself over. Untill then I am in control, and ready to take it all on. I have my arms open and will to take what may come my way, because I am no longer afraid of myself. The day starts with me, and it sure will end with me...

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Friday, October 20, 2006

Back To You...

Yes, I have returned! I apologise for my absence but I have been working on some last minute assessment pieces for classes where the exams are worth a fair bit, so it's a good idea to get the best mark possible in the other assessment items (if you want a good mark overall that is). But I am done! Absolutely NOTHING pending until exams.

Have no fear though, I have been reading the posts lately and they have been good reads. I have missed so much, and on top of that, I haven't even updated my blognotes! So I have absolutely nothing to talk about so let's just wing it and see where I end up eh?

The other's package finally arrived, which is awesome! The last package the other's brother sent took MONTHS to arrive. I was worried that I would get it after he'd left to go overseas but luckily it arrived with plenty of time to spare. That reminds me, exams are fast approaching and I'll soon have to resort my 24 hour insanity (that is studying for 12 hours, sleeping for 12). I'm sure it will be abrogated because of Win's stupid idea to have Quizmania 5 nights a week now and they don't even follow a bloody good timetable, because there is some weird variation in who presents.

I have been addicted to Rush's Working Man as well as The Who's Substitute. Awesome solo in first song and brilliant bassline and clever biting lyrics in the second song.

Those weird ass flashbacks have returned. Many posts ago I referred to these. Where I am suddenly dreaming awake and I am in places where I don't know whether I've been when I was really young or just dreamt about when I was younger and I seriously don't know if they're real or not. Pretty disturbing if you ask me. Oh exams, I wish they were closer, but in a way I don't, because I need to study and study hard damn it!

I was worried about my guitar work for a while there. As mentioned, I hadn't used a pick in a while and it wasn't good for my hybrid picking. But lately I have been noodling with pick and fingers so I'm starting to feel right at home again. Once the holidays start I can start warming up properly with co-ordination exercises and be back at 100%.

I'll leave it there for now folks. Have a nice day!

Saturday, October 14, 2006


Well what do you know?? I'm back, and after a good nights sleep. Well I'm on a timer now, just too my sleeping pill, so i have about thirty mins, before my system shuts down. Hopefully I wake up for my group meeting tommo unlike today... Haha I swear sometimes you sleep and its a problem and others you dont sleep and its a problem...

I was reading over some old blog posts from a couple of years ago, and it was quite a good experience reminicing about the past. And also to see how I've changed over the last few years... Life is always a trip, and sometimes we stop noticing how things are changing, and its strange to reflect on how they have...

I am sick and tired of people and their egos and prides... It can be good soemtimes agreed, but sometimes it needs to be P(*#^@$. Yes precisely, had to get that out of me. There has always been problems in my life, and somehow or another they are always retraced to something to do with pride and ego. I swear they are one of the worst human qualities there ever was.

What is it with people thinking they rule the world when they dont? Is it just me, or does more and more people think they rule the world. I am sick and tired people. Its not a good attitude, change that. No one is going to believe that you do, they will just look over it, and think to themselves, hahah whos he kidding??!!?? Hehe jester will tell you, I don't take crap from anyone, and hell if I'm about to start now!!! Don't tell me what to do, thats my job to figure it out...

Anyways people, I'm gonna head off to bed, its calling my name, knaves, knaves, come to bed, I need you....

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Friday, October 13, 2006

This too shall pass...

Yet again my plans fall through, and I'm still sitting around trying to grip on what it is that I have to do now. As you all know, I've been waiting on my girlfriends visa to get through. Well guess what, it didn't, and for the most fucked up reason. The rason givin is that she didn't provide them with something that was infact turned in with the appication itself. So now shes going to appeal the case in another country. Hmmm now all i can do is say whatever, and see where it takes on... The so called objectivity that the Australian Embassy claims to use is flawed, as if it were objective they have not a single reason to make any such comment. The superiority complex of these people is self evident, and they need to learn sometime that just because they're from a particular country does not in any way make them better. This complex has gone so far that they have decided in Bangladesh to not deal with the people who are applying at all, they have hired, locals to do the job, and they just sit back and make dissisions on a whim. You people seriously disgust me. And as a friend of mine said today, when it comes to immigrations, the only thing worse than a pompus foreigner is a person from you're own country. Their superiority complex is even higher, and whats more, they arn't even from another place alltogether... I demand some justice, but as we all know this world is far from being just, so why expect any of it...

The sleeping cycle has just gotten so screwed up as of late, that now I had to take some medical advice to see if I can infact fall asleep somehow. And I know as well as my doctor that its all because of anxiety, but there is only so much that can be done about that. So now I am on some heavy duty sleeping pills, and have to go see the "shrink" once a week. Haha this is going to be a lot of fun...

Sometimes, as go on by in life, you see a sign somewhere that makes sense all of a sudden, as if it was a message sent from somewhere else to tell you what you want to hear, and to remind you that its not all futile. I was walking down to the bus station to go into civic today, and on the bus stop it said "This too shall pass." Maybe it has nothing to do with me (Which would make more sense) or maybe I needed to see that so it was all part of a master plan. I just wish if there is a plan, to not make it so hard for me that I find it hard to get by, its hard enough as it is. So maybe it will, whatever it is, it shall pass, either my sleeping pattern, my worries, my dreams, hope, whatever...

I am seriously sick and tired of this hegemony. Its always there, and its a constant that never seems to change. The rich get richer, and the powerful use it to their advantage. Weather it be parents who decide what they feel is right, and enforce it on you, because they know you will have to respect it. Or it is our learders telling us what we should do. And in some surcumstances the deciders tell you that you are just not good enough. Its a plague, a cancer that destroys all simplistic thought, and all the innocence that lies within this life. Back to the primitive, fuck all your politics. Oh what I would do to become a kid again...

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Monday, October 09, 2006

Supreme Lifestyle, The One I Used To Hate...

Another year, and another disappointment. Oh well, shumacher definately had a good career, that jackass spaniard better appriciate it, no credit to him. A little angry, a little disappointed. Once race to go till his career is over, and I guess not everything has its fairy tail ending...

I've come to decide that when it rains it pours. Things are not going as planned at the moment, but what can you do, there is only so much that you have control over. Life has its tendency to push you to your limits. I'm driving a 300kmph and holding my head high, at some point I should reach race speeds...

Anticipation is the root of all disappointment, well said by alien ant farm. Been listining to them a lot lately, and I really like what they have to say in general, no out of the world bullshit that a lot of the bands out there throw at you. I guess its because they don't have things as easy as they would have hoped they had. Story of my life. Thankfully their bloody label finally decided to release their third album, and its one with some really good songs. I like em. If you get a chance give "Supreme Lifestyle" a listen. Thats somewhere most of us dont belong. Your solitude is welcome, welcome, your attitude is welcome, welcome...

As usual insomnia has got me by the leg. Its my problem I know, I'm always so anxious and panicing about things, that its bound to happen. I wish god gave me some peace, but for now I'm still looking for some peace. I'm scared my poor brain is gonna pop!

Facebook is bloody awesome, been having a lot of fun on there these days, a lot of activity among my friends and a lot of pictures of high school. My those days seem so far away. I'm also looking forward to getting back home, and it seems that jester may be traveling with me, and I like the sound of that. I'm starting to wonder if jester and I shouldnt take a short trip around australia before heading home, as this will be the last time that hes going to down in these parts as he should be moving to malaysia.. But for now I'm trying not to be too anxious or get my hope high about getting home, due to some friendly advice... "Don't put things up on a pedistal, it may leave you disappointed..." - chippie...

Sometimes I think early warning systems are useless, we always tend to ignore them anyways. I think we would all tune in more into our own warning systems and listen to them before we have to call in "mayday, mayday"... Have a good one people...

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Saturday, October 07, 2006

Today's the day, I pray that we make it through...

There are some inanlieable truths in this world that we should just not question. One for instance is that time changes everything, and two when a girl tells you, you can be honest, know damn sure that you can't do that! It will only get you in trouble if you think that you can defy any of these rules. Things will change...

Life has been the usual, over the last few days thought, been feeling really lathargic, and feel very demoralized to do anything. You wake up and you have that feeling in your head that something is just not ok, can't put your finger on it, but you know some factor to your life is just not alright, and then you enbark on your mission to correct everything that seems out of place...

How time changes everything. Been socializing on facebook for the last while, and its cool to see how the people you grew up with have changed. These changes are not noticable when you are around the people over the time when they change, but when the change is in your face all of a sudden, it just takes you back, by surprise... Some have changed the way their hair falls on their faces, and that makes them look completely different, and damn couldn't recognize them. Some changes are for the better, and other not so much, but everything does change. But one thing never changes, hopefully, how you feel about those people, they are your friends, and mean the world, been there together through the good and the bad, and some of those completely evil times...

Now that time has come closer to exams, as the others will concur, time just seems to be going way too fast for your own good for some reason. As everyone around you struggles to get done what has to get done, I am happy to have most of my work done before hand, and its my job to try and make their lives a bit eaier, if I can help them in any way. As Subhan and I were talking about a few days ago, it just seems that this time of the year is the most demoralizing time of the year. Most of us are just sick and tired of uni, and thing that has to do with it, and just can't wait to get out of this place for however long we can. But then again as chippie says, don't look forward to something so much, that it may disappoint you that things arent going as planned, and that you just want to be back at the Uni bar and want to have your glass of Thooeys Old with me. There might be some truth to that, but we'll never know till me get there. There are so many things we attempt to predict in our heads, but at the end of the day, chance plays a much bigger hand than you have. And you just have to get there to figure out those truths.

I would like to apologize for my absense for the last bit of time, but as I said, there has been a lot of other crap happening, and I thought I'd endulge in some good times, before there is not time to have any, and exams is all that in my head. As it is I'm missing "Stone Fest" this year again for the second time in a row, but hopefully next year we'll go and have a blast. It just so happens that I got what I wanted, early exams, and so I can't go, and since I wanted it, and I do still want that, I should just not complain.

Today I feel useless and meaningless, completely disposable, and its a feeling I get when I'm down low. Things you do kick you in the ass sometimes, intentions can be skewed depending on who is listening to you, even if your intentions were not as hurtful as they may have taken it. Anyways, another day where I jsut want to go to sleep. Catch you guys soon, hope life is treating you a little bit better than I seem to be feeling right about now. And again, I am my own worst enemy...

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Lord of the rings by George Lucas

Thought this was pretty funny....hehe, they put jarjar in Lord of the

Monday, October 02, 2006

The sand's in my eyes but I can still see you

Do you want to know why the last few days have been awesome? I have Fridays off, and Monday was a public holiday. Tuesday my morning class is cancelled so that's effectively 5 days off! I have just been doing my work for that speech at a slow rate (but still decent) and listening to a crap load of music and watching tv, that and playing a hell of a lot of Rome Total War.

As a direct result of this, I also have nothing to report! I think I may do an update to the Joaquin rate list sometime tomorrow.

I have been reading up on the Copyright Amendment Bill and it's looking good! The Government has finally caught up on the use of new technology and are accepting it, as opposed to trying to outlaw everything because it can only help us. However there are still some holes here and there, especially when some statutory rules are applied strictly. Well with the lack of anything better to say, that's it for today folks!

Friday, September 29, 2006

In The Night, In My Dreams, I'm In Love With You

I must ask for forgiveness once again, as I have not been able to blog lately. However, my excuse was legitimate, as I have been incredibly busy with uni work, almost to the point of insane stress. But, luckily all my work is done, bar one oral and exams. But the oral is with a partner and it's about a topic which will be fairly easy to write about and keep the class entertained with, so yes I am sitting pretty for the next couple of weeks! But it's good to see that the others have been keeping the blog fires burning and there have been some good posts (and good pics, some of which were more legal than others, haha)!

I am impressed with my own focus in the last few weeks as I did have to push things to the limit many times in order to get things done. But it's all behind me now, so let's not talk about work!

How crazy has F1 been lately?! I am loving it so much! I surely hope Michael takes out the championship this year, it would be a brilliant swansong to his career. He throughtly deserves it. It's sad to see him go, as he really is one of the best drivers of all time. But I don't think F1 will suffer entertainment wise, with all the exciting shakeups which are taking place next season. It'll be good to see Raikkonen in a reliable car with some speed, because he is absolutely amazing. Alonson behind the wheel of a MacLaren will end his reign of terror because they haven't been too good as of late. Massa has come into his own though, so there should be some good comeptition at Ferrari. Looks like I won't get my Ferrari dream team of Macher and Raikkonen, but oh well!

There is a girl who works at the place where I get my hair cut. This woman is extremely attractive. Previously she has made me buy expensive clothes I have not needed, but I just wanted to talk to her. She's also a distraction, when you are having your hair cut, you don't want to be twisting your neck to perve on someone, while someone with scissors is trying to keep you still! Considering I like to stay home, it's crazy that I actually feel like going down to see her! Haha, I sound like a stalker don't I?

2 weeks ago, I managed to procure Rome: Total War Gold for myself from a fellow who works at a game store who I knew vaguely from college. Luckily a friend I was with knew him well and as a result I got it for DAMN cheap so I was over the moon. I installed it several days ago and I have just been loving the custom battle mode so much that I haven't even started the story campaign!! I played a few of the historical battles and I have just been getting slaughtered!!! These new ones are taken from the side that lost the battle, so we have to change the course of history, which is freakin' impossible because the odds against you ar just insane. I'm also procuring Medieval Total War from Utorrent, because I loved the demo. I think I may even purchase Medieval 2 Total War a bit after it comes out (cause seriously, who the hell would pay full price for anything? We're students after all!).

Finally bought a bloody 300 gig external hard drive!!! It took me most of the day, but I backed up everything!!! My holidays are going to be insane, I have games, movies, multiple series of tv shows to get through, I don't know how the hell I'm going to do it.

That's it for now, but since I mentioned my stuff is all done, expect some more posts from me! Have a nice day people!

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Blind Man's Trip...

Head thorbbing from another strange assault. Hope shattered, blind remourse. Petty thoughts and heartful desieres. Burning bright, burning till nothings left. Rotting courpse, filled with could have beens. Life on loop, a sad song on repeat. Never to find what you're sure is yours. Somethings there behind your back. Something ugly and cold. To hold you down as strugle to stand. Something strong and built with hate. "If I can't have it, none of you shall!" Sometimes we need it, others we plead for it. Bitter truth. It's not for you. Forbidden fruit, tastes so good, never yours, and never kind. If you want it, you must make it. Can't leave it in anothers hands. Butter fingeres, sure to squander it. Shattered dreams, and false hopes. Bitter truth, its never yours. Made to last, but sure to hurt. Over and over, the same report. "Captain, we're going down!" One salute, hold your ground. If this ship was made to sink, so be it. I was made to stand, on this rocking boat. Never clear, were it was ment to go. A blind mans trip, into an unknown abyss. Bitter end, its in your hands. One sad truth, it never stands. Hope was made to build you up. Up so hight, so you might believe, that this could be. I one sharp stab, the bitter truth. This is it, so hold your grip. But I'm sure you're gonna trip...

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Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Standing at a fork!!!

Trying to comprehend the verity of the moment, coerced to take a decision, aware of the "consequence monster" just waiting to eat me alive, but a decision must be taken. My journey into wonderland, or so i thought it was, has been a pleasurable one with some ups and downs. I thought i had it all figured out, but time had the better of me. Blindly being guided through by my own misconstrued apprehension, i ignored all the signs that had been put foroward. Through the middle of my journey, i knew what i had put myself into, trying to make things better, but the tools were just out of my reach. Floating down a river austere emotions, manipulating the tides, cheating my way through, barely missing the rocks and busting my head open. Hurting innocent souls in the process, i await the fall, which prepares to eat me alive.Thougts of past mistakes bogging me down, cannot help but realize, there isn't much left to do. Only the fall can make me come alive, and break into the unseen world never observed through the eyes of mine. Just riding out what the rapids have to offer, not looking out for branches to hold on to, saving myself the emberrasment in the eyes of the dogmatics.

The journey has almost come to an end, only the decision is left to be taken. Forced to choose between two paths, one which will lead me to cleopatra and the other which will embarass my mentor. I've chosen the path which will take me to my cleo, but calls for stealthy measures which must be overcome every step of the way, but at the end i know, the scars of guilt will heal. Now i wait for the gatekeeper to grant me my place next to cleo, (fingers crossed) and hopefully be happy for whatever time i have left, and also save the emberassment to my mentor.

Monday, September 25, 2006

So much for summer here!!

Well it looks like jester's having the time of his life down in Sydney, and quite frankly I'm a little jelous. Its still pretty cold, and when I went to sleep today at about 10am, it was crazy macbeth weather outside!!! Haha, I can't wait till its warm enough to wear whatever I want, sick and tired of all the winter clothes, and sick and tired of having the heater on...

What a few days the last few days, its been a real rolercoster, but I'm still standing strong, at least for now. It was my bday on the 20th, and though I decided nothing would happen, that surly wasnt the case. I bunch of my friends who happened to be free on that day, decided that doing nothing wasn't an option, and thank you to them, its was quite fun. Chippie was the first one I saw, and it was straight to the bar, where Norm, and a few other friends happend to show up, and all I remember is by 9 o clock I had passed out, and then woke up at about 12:30.. Hahaha what a night. Since most of my friends couldnt make it on wednesday as they were busy, they all decided that Thursday was the night we were going to get completley wasted, and yes, we made that happen. Thought the theme for the night was "White Trash" which was horrible I tells ya, it was pretty good night, though it wasn't the most visually appealing night. Had about 22 shots, and my friends made it a night to remember, well of what I do remember that is. Last thing I remeber is saying bye to Subhan - the green terrorist (affectionately named), and then its all blank. I was quite surprised when I woke up in my bed the next morning wondering how exactly I got there. Yes, I did actually manage to stumble back to my own room, it was great. The next morning, woke up with the taste of an ashtray in my throat, and hunger of a few people, and decided to go have lunch at Maccas, whats better when you have a hangover but to have some oily quarter pounder burgers, and yes I did have a few... After which Chay - Miss beach bum butterfly called me up, not being able to print her document that was due in 15 mins. After which headed down to the bar, but I definately couldn't stomach another drink at that point. Went over to her's and she was supposed to cook me dinner, but hahaha I cooked instead, and it was quite a good meal. Subhan called me a while later telling me that it was someone else birthday, and the night before I promised him that I would go to his house, so I had to go. After a few drinks and the birthday boy passing out, the rest of us headed down to the city for some night life, stayed till about 2:30 having a few quiet ones, and then deciding it was time to call it a night, and finally got back home, crazyness...

Unfortunately, the crazyness didnt stop there, since then I have barely slept a wink, and suffering from some severe insomnia, so I have decided to go down to the doctors and get some medical assistance... Its sad, I want time to pass by faster, but yet I just can't sleep, saddness that is called life... Murphy's law is stronger that any of us should have to know...

There are things we have control over, and there are things that we just dont have control over, yet sometimes we strive so hard to have control over those that we don't have any control over, and forget about those that we do. Realizing that sleep is something that seems to be out of control for me, I've rectified the situation and taken back the power to control the things that I do have contol over. After all the crazyness, hadn't done much over the last few days, and today rectified the situation, and I am back in control. Finished all the work for this week, and any other errands that I had to do, and so I'm sitting back relaxed, and planning on keeping ahead for the time being, at lest I sould make the best use of this lack of sleep. For now we just have to take the power. Rock on, true Rage agaist the machie style. Night folks...

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Sunday, September 24, 2006

Summer Eye Candy!!!!!

Greetings. And the time has finally come, put on those sexy bathing suits ladies, that sunscreen lotion, slip into ur flip flops, we are headin to the beach!!!Yup, its finally summer time in Sydney, and man have i been waiting for a long time. I hated being bogged down by the cold everyday, and not goin outside.It was more the wind chill factor that i hated. I'm sure its a much worse scenario for The Others down in Canberra. Australians love their summer and everything that comes with it. The festivities are just endless, and what everybody looks foroward to most, is goin the beach.

Living in the heart of the city for the first time during summer, it just seems that summer has totally changed the colors of the whole city. No more gloomy, cold, windy days, hiding our hands inside our pockets, people being crushed just because of the weight of their warmers! Its totally a different story now... Its all about skin in this time of the year :)! The vibrancy of the people shine through, flauting whatever they have and the skirts just keep getting shorter and shorter.

Headed over to bondi on Firday. The weather was amazing. The beach was packed. It was nice getting some sand between my toes, and just lying around in the sand and doin jack. Sipping on a cold one, looking at gods beutifull creatures pass by, playing a bit of touch football, standing in awe of the skateboarders on the ramp and mostly basking in the sun. The day was good. Got tired as hell by the end of the day.

Thats all for now, not much to write. Cheers!!!

I'll prolly get thrown behind bars if i got cought takin picks like these at the beach, could'nt help myself!!!!hehehehe

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Don't cash out on that bet...

Its about that time of the night again, when I sit infront of the computer and blog my time away. Today's been a productive day, finished prepairing for the presentation that we have tommo, and by the looks of it, its going to be a good one at that. The slides are done, and they look very smooth and mordern, and definately good desing. After using Powerpoint 2007 for a while, I realized that it has some really simple ways of making your slides look good, and its definately a time saver for me, as I don't have to do it manually. If you don't have it, I guess you're missing out...

Sometimes there is no winning, no matter what you do someone is going to feel not cool about it, that the definition of life. If you accomodate one person, then you'll leave someone else out. There is just no way of fitting everyone in and to make everyone happy. So I guess either you pick the ones that are most important, and at least try to make them happy or simply be selfish and just make yourself happy. I guess thats not really the way to go either, you get what you give, and I'm a strong believer...

There is a lot of news that happens in the world, but I seem to be more focused on the virtual world, its more interesting, and its always evedent what has changed, you don't have to miss out on the action, its always there for you to check out and judge it for yourself. Maybe its easier to handle that than the real world. Its a big big world out there, a tangable one and one that isn't.

Now that the dates to the exams are out, I'm feeling a lot better, as now I have a goal to work towards, and it seems like everything that I have to get done before that is like a stepping stone, and one step closer to the other side of the river. I know its always been that way, but it just seems a bit more real now, and a lot easier to get by. I have one day left before I turn 22, hmmmm. Getting old now, and it still feels the same. Its funny when I was a kid I remember looking up to people my age, and thinking wow things are so different when you are their age. Now that I'm here, I feel exactly the way I think I always felt. Probably, yes there is a massive change within me, the way I think, the way I operate, but that is just not evident to myself. When you live with a person long enough, and everyday, you just dont notice the change, its like its always been there. The people who notice the difference are the poeple who just haven't been a part of your life that much as of late...

People are asking me why I don't want to be doing anything on my bday. Well there are lots of reasons, but not a single one that I can either single out or put my finger on. I have had it with all the other bdays getting trashed and doing the usual, I would like to take sometime to just get older by myself, not that I want to be by myself, but hopefully this is the last time I will be, so why not live the experience? I've never spent a bday just doing nothing and just having time to just talk and reflect on life or just enjoy the beauty of the day or who I am... And that is definately the goal of this bday, one last chance make the best of it... It would be good to just have some friendly conversations who mean a lot to me...

I've decided to take a more simplistic method to everything, not that I want to do the simplest easiest thing, but do the best with the least. Less is more is a theory that is often used in many spheres. Especially solos, a few notes can express a lot more than a fret busting solo, and I've always appriciate it, and will attempt that style of playing more into my music. Secondly, design, I think often I try to add everything I can do into one project, and tahts probably not the way to go. The simpler and more clear the design is, the more likely its going to be a good design, and this I will try to keep in mind...

On that note, I shall call it quits as it is my bed time now, and some shut eye is definately called for. Tommo is the last day I work, and I finish a presentation, so by the end of the day, I should be feeling pretty darn good...

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Monday, September 18, 2006

New Age Confusion...

Another day gone bye, and its getting a little warmer here in Australia, and damn, I'm thankful for that, had enough of winter for one year. Its time to get back into action with classes from tommo, and it should be an action packed second quarter, and all the way thru to the end of the semester, and damn I'm looking forward to that.

Today I realized that I love flickr but it also irritated me at the sametime. It looks like I'm either going to have to go pro and buy an account there or just move to some other site to store my pictures, because it only allows you to store 200 pictures, and aswell as the lack of sets, only 3 are allowed. But I like the service so much, and I actually might consider buying an account. Lets see, I'm checking out Bubbleshare for a while, and if that meets my expectations, then I guess I'll switch there for a while, till I get my credit card, and if I havn't changed my opinion by then.

Today, I decided that I'd had it with the old stupid signatures with only text, so I created a signature with tables, graphics and text, and it worked out to look pretty good. But alas it drove me crazy, it so happens that the yahoomail signature HTML section only works in IE, and I wish I knew that and hadden't tried to get it to work for 2 hours before figurign that out. There needs to be a cross platform integration happening there. About yahoo mail, finally they have released the Web 2.0 version of the email, and now I can live in peace, not having to switch to gmail, and to still have the web 2.0 available. Its great, with keyboard shortcuts and all. I swear the browser is becoming more and more important everyday. is a great site for music list sharing, meeting people with similar music tastes, and to actually find new music that you may actually like rather than listening to most of the crap that plays on the radio. It has a plugin for itunes, windows media player, and other media players, and as songs play they are uploaded to your portal on, and so you don't have to look thru their database and pick the song you like, the songs you hear are the ones that go there, and while you're listening to them, you can tag them, and rank them. Its a great site for all music entusiasts, and much more useful than myspace or other places. About myspace, it seems that more and more employers are going and visiting the applicants myspace to gain more insight into what type of a person the applicant is, and this is scary people. This maybe a good reason to get rid of that page of yours all together...

These are the things that confuse me, I went to the mall, and bought a frying pan as i need a new one. I looked at a few, and what didn't make any sense was that a 30cm pan cost more than a 40cm pan when they were from the same brand and the same product!! How does that make anysense?? Someone please explain that to me. And yes I did buy the bigger pan.

Music that I've been listing to today has to be "Fall out boy." Give them a listen if you get a chance, quite good music, and their lyrics are juxtaposed just in the correct manner. Anyways, I'm gonna head off to bed, have to meet joaquin in the morning tommo, so takecare folks...

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Saturday, September 16, 2006

Better Than The Rest...

Well i'm back again for another post. Having a field day with all the scrubs episides that i've been watching, and I swear nothing makes me laugh more than the stupid jokes on that show. They are all a buch of really cool characters...

Insomnia is a killer when you have to wake up in 2 hours and then get to work for a 7 hour shift, and i'm happy to say that after another 7 hours of work in the next few days it shall be over for good. Thats it for me and subway! But I sure am going to miss those Saturday closing with Ghram.

The funniest thing happened. The other day I was checking out Pageflakes and YouOS. After checking both out for a while, I've decided that they are both quite good. YouOS is much more pleasing on the eyes, but the funcionality of pageflakes is much better. And have been using it quite a bit. But later that night I was talking to an old friend who is a programmer while I was at my cousins office doing work there. And he was like I was looking for pictures of Dhaka on flickr and came across your pictures, damn this is a small world. And that wasn't it at all, then he tells me to check out pageflakes as it has integration with flickr, and I told him that I already had seen it. He was like its built by us. Hahaha its great to see some buddies of mine doing some really awesome work. When I saw the page I was thinking that Omar Jabbar, another one of the programmers from there made something like that a few years ago before Web 2.0, and guess what, he was the mastermind behid the whole thing. So you all just have to go check out some web 2.0 action on pageflakes. And it will become one of the top 1000 pages within the next year....

I've been listining to this bush song on repeat "Machinehead." It has some really cool guitar riffs playing on it, but thats not what go my attention, its the whole dynamics of the song. And then the lyrics started playing in my head and i was wondering what it was about. After a lot of deliberation and looking up things, i came to a few possible meanings. Have a look at the lyrics first.


Breathe in breathe out
Tied to a wheel fingers got to feel
I spin on a whim I slide to the right
I felt you like electric light
For our love
For our fear
For our rise against the years and years and years

Got a machinehead better than the rest
Green to red machinehead
And I walk from my machine
I walk from my machine

Deaf dumb and thirty
Starting to deserve this
Leaning on my conscious wall
Blood is like wine
Unconscious all the time
If I had it all again
I'd change it all

The first possible conclusion is that its about a guy whos in a relationship where he always does as he is told, and like a machine, he does what he is told, green light he goes, and red light he stops. Unconcious all the time again refering to that.

Then there is the interpretation that he is talking about a car crash, and his machinehead is the engine, and he is talking about the car, and how he loves his car, its better than the rest, as its a status symbol in our lices. And he walks away from the machine after his crash. Interesting.

The third interpretation is that it is about a persons ego and trying to breakfree from that ego and the way he is used to doing things, and it becomes like the back of the hand almost machine like, and hence the machinehead.

The next interpretation is that its about drugs, just because most bush songs are about drugs. And how doing drugs is so mechanical, and its about moving away from the drugs.

The last interpretation is that its about his head of the amp, that has a blinker as the sound goes high it turns red, and green when under the threashold. I don't really think this really works, but its an interpretation none the less.

Whatever was running thru their heads, what a bloody awesome song, I encourage you all to give this a listen. Anyways, I'm off gotta do some more pointless things.

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Thursday, September 14, 2006

Moving Into Year 2, Still In A Room Without A View...


Well its here, and its been 2 years already, it just seems like its was yesterday. Haha how time passes by when you dont even notice it. So there you go, its been 2 years, and theres more to come.

I've been thinking about time and the things that you have to do within that time, and its funny, it never feels like things are going the way it should. If you start thinking too much about what you have to do within that time, you'll be so worried about it, that it will seem like time is going by so slow, but if you don't care at all about it, the time sure flies. Highschool was a breeze, and it just few by so fast, and I realized that I didn't really care or give a shit about the things I had to do, I just did them because I had to, and time went out the window. Now, I'm thinking about everything that I have to do, and how things are going to happen, and time seems to stand still sometimes. I guess thats the fact of life, if you want to do something well, then you just have to take the hard road, and put in the extra effort, and suffer for a while while you're doing it, and in the end it'll be all worth it. Its not only about how fast you can get there, but to endure everything that needs to be done, and yet get there in the end. And in a more simple manner, make the most of the time thats here now, and do everything right.

There is this one friend of mine, who's always trying to prove that he knows more about everyone than you do. Thats fine, I never made it a point to know more about anynone than anyone else. But this is what irritates me, there are some people that I happen to know more about, and its no surprise, he shouldn't even try to prove that he knows more than me in those areas. Like my brother for instance, how does he get off thinking that he knows more about him that I would? Anything that he would have been told, I would obviously know, and probably know a hell of a lode more. For some people its always a competition, and I hate those! We are who we are, better or worse, nothing to compare about. Next time he'll probably come online and tell me he knows more about my girl than I do. Arrrrrgggghhhhh. As usual I'll just smile and nod, coz at the end of the day, hes the only idiot in the room...

Finished that god forsaken essay this afternoon, and I swear I haven't felt this good in a while, and I'm gonna cherish it for a while. I'd like to extend to Joaquin, thanks buddy, I wouldn't have figured that last bit out with actually discussing it with someone. It really helps to vocalize your thoughts from time to time, so that you hear yourself speak, and then it becomes clearer. I really appriciate the help...

Alright folks, I'm going to go off and watch some scrubs. Just can't get enough of it. Have a good one...

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Denied By The Ignorant...

I hate cleaning my room, don't get me wrong I don't like living in a pig sty, but it doesn't mean that I like doing it. And when I do, the OCD side of me kicks in, and it just has to be perfect. Spend so much time cleaning, when a few days later the whole process starts all over. I guess its another one of those things, that just works on a cyclic fashion, and there is nothing one can do about it.

As predicted, I managed to get the 2nd part of my essay done today, and just one more part to go. That reminds me I have a presentation on Tuesday, and can't seen to get a hold of my group mates, haha its going to be another fun one. The way I look at it, presentations have to be done, and they will get done, reguardless of its done on the last day or a week before that, after all its only a reflection of a particular ad agency, how much work can we really do. Good firm at that. Hehe, for the first time in my life, I can actually say that I've done almost all the work for this presentation all by myself. As much as I like working in groups, I like to do the actual work by myself at my own time. But brainstorming that works best with a few other people around. I guess why this assignment is so pointless, there is no brainstorming. I feel like I'm in special school, and they are just giving us something retarted to do just so that we can say we did something. Looking forward to the next presentation though, as that entails coming up with an ad campaign for a company, and its goning to be good fun. And especially as I'm working with a group that I always seem to work with. It helps to know who is good at what before hand, that why less time is wasted.

Malls are places where you seem to see everything happen, its crazy. It good to see how somepeople are just so bloody stupid sometimes, makes you feel a little better about yourself. Hehe it was a fun day at the mall, and as always was only there for a few mins. There is just too much there, that you can spend your money on, and sometimes when you don't want to spend it, the best thing to do, is only go there when needed.

I just found out that Monday is a public holiday, and that means that boy this next week is going to be one short week. Oh wait this weeks not even close to being over, but I'm looking forward to classes starting again, and for people to be around again. Its a little depressing not to have many people around, solitude is inevitable, but right now its not what I want :P.

It looks like I'm well on my way on getting everything done that I intended to get done over the two week break, and that feels good, as I don't think I've ever been proactive about my school work in my life. If all goes to plan, I'll only have one graphic design project and one group assignment to do over the next 5 weeks, and then exams. I'm feeling good about myself. But in the meantime, I have to finish my essay tommo, that group assignment, and finally write another stupid presentation for media audiences. That one seems so pointless that I'm not even sure I'm actually doing the right thing. Take an article about the media and then just talk about it? That doesn't even seem in anyway important. Maybe I am doing something wrong, we'll see... Goodnight people...

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Bling Bling, Eye Candy...

Well, I thought it would only be appropriate to wrtie a few lines after taking this blogger up to version 2.0. The colors remain the same, but the graphics have changed. This was supposed to happen on the 14th of September for our 2nd year, but after I finished it, I could hardly resist :P. I hope that all of you like the new look. Its good to have a bit of a change from time to time, and now my desires are fulfilled, untill the next time I get an itch.

For those of you who have never heard of this band called Stroke 9, go give it a listen. First time I heard of them was on the "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" Soundtrack, with "Kick Some Ass," and what a kick ass song at that. From there got their 2 albums, and almost all the songs are worth the time, and you wont be disappointed. Extremely interesting stuff. Just got reminded today while watching Scrubs. Now who ever picks songs for that show really knows what he/shes doing...

Running out of tobacco is probably the worst feeling, especially here in the first world. In Dhaka, its never a problem, just go out to the road, and your hopes are satisfied. Those are the little things that make the third world worth it. The people who've never lived there will never know. And the other thing is that the third world really makes you lazy. No one walks anywhere, thats the first thing that takes time to get used to once you come to the first world, I'm sure that Jester will second that! Ok for now I am off to go smoke my last smoke, and wait till tommo. Have a good one folks...

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Monday, September 11, 2006

Feel this good again...

Somedays you wake up, and you feel like doing nothing, and that fustrates me more than anything. And i've realized that days like that aren't hopeless, you just have to go where the day takes you. This morning, was one of those, knowing I should do some work, but just not feeling like it. There was this tune playing in my head that I wrote last night, and then had to just record it, and so voilla, another song has been written. Then scrubs came along, after about the 4th episode I felt a sudden urge to get down to working, and guess what? I finished what I thought would be impossible a few hours ago. Turned out to be one of the most productive days. Slowly but surely, I'm coming up to the completion of this semester, and its starting to feel less overwhelming.

I hate it when people say they will do something by a particular day, and then never get down to it. The university was supposed to hand out our exam schedule today, and that would mean that I have a goal to work towards, but alas as slack as they are, there is no show of the schedule. You really piss me off University of Canberra!!!

What do you do, when you know that a friend of yours is going down the wrong path? This is just a recipie for disaster! Because of inflictions that hes gotten into, I have to avoid him, but then again hes one of my better friends, and its a shame that we don't spend as much time as we used to. You can't stop someone from doing what they want to, and in the same way being around can be a hazzard to your sanity, so do you just let it slide? Something to ponder upon.

I've realized that I am most productive when I have short bursts of intelectual work followed by long sections of gratification. That is what was missing for the last while, but I have to say I managed to keep going under the presure of being productive 24/7, but am definately liking the thought of sitting around and doing the things that I want to do from time to time, its good for my mental sanity.

Alight, today is going to be a short one, as there isn't much to report on, unless you want to hear about theoretical frameworks, hehe i'm sure that will bore you as much as it has bored me :P. Will get back to this tomorrow. For now, have a good one, and don't work too hard, just reduces your productivity!!

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