Sunday, December 30, 2012

Sex & Video Games

It's been an interesting day.

And an interesting night, that's for sure.

No sleep.  Plenty of guitar though.  Also had to get a shitload of things done today.

Still zoning in and out, but I did nap earlier, so not totally feeling the effects.  But I have slept a crapload this weekend.  I needed it.

Haha, I'm currently nekkid as I type this.

Hmmmmmm do you remember the jealousy?  The possession?  When I deliberately put a massive hickey on your neck to see what your fiancée would do?

Good times.

Video game time!

Joaquin out.

It's A Happening!

Yes, I will blog when I get the chance.

Just been way too busy practising my guitar.  Enjoying it.

Loving it, really.

Hmmmmmmm.  What else to say?

Not much, just enjoying not being at work, and calling my own tune with my own timings these holidays.  Yeah, I know I have to be back on Wednesday, but I've got time until then.

Then it's only back at work for a month before I go on actual proper holidays.  Should be good.

Anyway, that's it for now.

Joaquin out.

Friday, December 28, 2012

First Thing You Know

I'll be back.

Just you wait and see.

I can't believe I went 7 days without posting, forgive me for that.

Since you've all been so good, I will attempt to update the Joaquin Rate List (JRL) before the year is out.

Been watching movies and playing guitar badly.  Will practice some though.

Joaquin out.

Friday, December 21, 2012

The Night Before

Thank you Mayans.  All this hype for nothing!  Haha, apparently we have until 10:11pm tonight before "IT" happens, anyway.

If we all die, it will have been all for nought, considering nobody is really antsy about this warning as they were with the Y2K bug and what not.

Felt energised and motivated this morning, but now not that keen on getting anything done.

Just spending the day reading and editing documents.  Sigh, this is my life!

Stankonia!  Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!  Hmmsies, indeed.

Wow, actually, I got a crap load of work done today.

I'm good.

Joaquin out.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

The Luck Of The Draw

Sometimes it's the draw itself which brings the luck.

I recall in Primary School, Jeremy and I used to talk about how much we hated Seinfeld.  We just didn't find it funny.  I think it's not really a show for kids, because it gets absolutely hilarious as you get older.  We especially rallied against the titles, which were just "the (title)" but in hindsight, they're very good episode descriptors.  Ahh Jeremy, I wonder what happened to you?  Really enjoying newseinfeld on twitter.  For all of you who aren't in the know, it's where they envisage Seinfeld taking place in modern times, updated with stories that are relevant to today (e.g technology, contexts and guest stars).  Check it out!

Speaking of things I enjoy, I'm also enjoying the Auralnauts take on Bane outtakes from the dark knight rises.  Basically, they have dubbed additional (and humorous) voices over the top of the dark knight rises, usually involving Bane.  There are multiple videos to check out, so enjoy!  Search for bane outtakes on youtube, uploaded by the auralnauts, you can't go wrong.  The videos are quite long, but they are utterly hilarious, so stick it out and you won't be disappointed, trust me.

What an interesting turn of events.  To run into you on a most random day at a most random time in the most random place.  Your psychotic reaction was not warranted when I said hello.  I'm living with a bit more certainty now though.  This all means something.  Wonder if things are coming to a head?  It's hilarious.  The Secret works!  Give it a try!  Life becomes much more difficult and easier simultaneously.  Just shows how easy it is to miss something, even right next to you.  But I never miss anything.

The shuffle on windows media player seriously sucks.  I have 842 songs on my DVD at work, yet I keep hearing the same songs over and over, no matter how many times I press next track!  Fix your algorithm, Microsoft!  Hahaha, sadly I can recall that this is not the first time this week I have asked a software company to fix their coding!

Well it's been an interesting day.

Joaquin out.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Feeling What? It? No!

So fucking divorced from reality and consciousness right now.  I am so sleepy.  But I will struggle and persevere through it all.  I'll get there.  Nobody has my motivation, nobody has my drive. 

Why was I so concerned that a friend of yours had purchased you a star in your name?  I can't believe I was so jealous, because after all the great and expensive things I had gotten you, I was terrified that it would outdo all my efforts.  Then I realised that those things aren't legitimate.  You don't officially get the star named after you.  It's just a cheap $20 gesture that is meaningless.  Why was I so pent up about it?

Still searching for answers among it all.  One better think of the questions quickly though.

Things were busy this morning, but they've seemed to quiet down now, but I do not have anything to write about, again!!

Oh goddamn!  It's only 2pm!  How am I going to make it another 3 hours??  Not possible in the current state that I'm in.

I'm really concerned about the state of journalism these days.  Sites like and are horrible in terms of fact checking and editing their work.  It's all very amateurish in terms of concept and execution.  I don't even need to provide examples, just go to those sites and read what passes for news, and how it's communicated.

Bah, was just bumming around on wikipedia and youtube, and found that only one hour has gone!  It felt like 2 hours.  Well, at least there's only 2 more hours to get through.

I'd like to string some coherent thoughts together, but I'm just too damned tired.  Gotta make it through 3 more days of this crap before I can get a rest.  I don't even get any weekend respite because we're traveling. 

Yeah, I've got work to do, I know.  And I'll get to it eventually. 

I think I'm unstoppable at Counter Strike GO now.  Nobody can stop me!  I win most of the times, and the times that I don't, I podium!

Alright, 45 mins to go before I'm outta here!  Think some chips and biscuits are on my horizon.

Exercise is probably linked to my mood.

Ok, I think I've got my second wind.  Hahha, after that distraction (yes, wikipedia again), let's try something a little controversial.

Let's talk about the sexy son hypothesis.  Basically, it's a theory where women are attracted to genetically superior guys, in the hopes that a good looking son can be had, so that both sets of genes can pass on to the next generation ad infinitum.  Ok, that sounds about right.  But let's take it a step further.  Let's just say this 'sexy son' turns out to be a raving douchebag and becomes a rapist when he's older.  Does the mother's acknowledgement of the sexy son scenario overcome any link she may feel to women in general, who may be hurt by his actions?  I guess the key question I'm asking here is whether the maternal bond is stronger than the feminine bond?  Now that's something to think about!  Because if you ask around, I'm sure mothers would say it's the strongest urge they've ever felt, and as such, any sense of other empathy with the victims of his crime etc. may not be there.  Humans are interesting creatures.  Anyway, that's just something to ponder on.

What do I look like now, compared to what I looked like then?  If only there were pictures of me from either period.

Sadly, didn't get to play much guitar last night, but I'll make sure I hit it up with great vengeance tonight.  It's nice to be good at something.  Just wish I was better in terms of music theory and composition.  That's stuff that can come in time anyway.

Well at least there was some intellectual conversation this time around.

Joaquin out.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Don't Forget The Weird Strums

Because I'm having the strangest dreams.  I dreamt that I was making out with an ex girlfriend, and things were getting hot and heavy.  Not just that, it appeared that she was integrated with my family, and that's just beyond weird.  She smelled horrible, THAT I really remember.  I wonder what it symbolises?  Maybe it's about extrapolation for the current situation I'm in?

I'm just sore.  My body is hurting, my knee is acting up, my back has chronic pain.  God, it's all downhill after this, isn't it? 

Finally made some headway with the blog intro/retrospective last night, and I'm up to May of this year.  Quite a good feat.  Hell, I may even be done before the end of the year, which will be a great achievement.  Next one may not occur for 2-3 years.  We'll see whether I can keep up these daily weekday posts.
Nothing of import to say today.  Hope you enjoyed yesterday's extended post.  I like how google has integrated a lot of media options into blogger, so we don't have to use a lot of third party services in order to post multimedia.

Oh crap, I haven't updated the Joaquin Rate List (JRL) in yonks!  There are a few updates to put on there, which are listed in my blognotes.  I'll get to them at some stage.

Been aiming to download more demos on Steam.  I figure why bother paying for the game if I can just play and see if I like it before actually forking out my dough for it.

On another point, Why doesn't google allow this blog to have more of an online presence in terms of search results??  When there's something relevant on here, it should be higher than page 2 of the results.  See for yourself - even if you look for something obscure that you'll ONLY find on here, it will come up as a later result compared to other irrelevant crap, just because they've got higher site traffic.  Fix your algorithms, Sergey and Larry!  Not happy, google!  The only result that will make this site come up first is 'anarchy inside my mind'.  Fancy that!

Erghhh feeling incredibly tired today.  That's no fun.  About to fall asleep at my desk and it's only 3pm!
Were my actions responsible for this?  Not sure what was meant by all the cryptic meanings.

Well this has been a pointless endeavour!

Joaquin out.

Monday, December 17, 2012

That's My Name, That's Not My Name

Said candidly to no one in particular.  Yeah, nah.

It's like I'm gambling everyday that I'm alive.  Then what will the net result be?  Will there even be a result, or is it all just pointless?

I do remember those times.  Listening to Coldplay happily, before I was lost to the cold remains of the day.
Hmm I should really catch up on on the blog intro/retrospective.  I would ideally like to have it completed by the end of the year.  Maybe I'll get a chance since I'm away for the next couple of weekends.  Away from games and other distractions. 

Came into work today and I just had no idea what I needed to get done.  Luckily I keep a task list for these sorts of things!  Stuff to get through, and I'll get them done.

Let's talk about economics here.  Having a freakonomic moment right now.  Women as a commodity - in feudal times, hell even into last century, and even currently, in third world countries, women are treated as a commodity, that can be traded, contracted for and exchanged, just like any other good.  However, in those sorts of societies where this sort of transaction is/was common place, women still held a low status in society.  This doesn't make sense in the grander scheme of things, but I'll get to that point later.  So let's take the examples of China and India, where as babies, girls are killed on a mass scale, due to the perception that a son is seen as much more prestigious, and when you factor in things such as dowries and what not, it's more economically feasible, especially in poorer areas to have a son (though, this is strange, as I'd heard it before, the dowry usually flows from the groom to the bride's family, but apparently this is actually quite rare).  But what is occurring in China (and what I predict will occur in India), is that males will start to greatly outnumber females.  As such, females will become highly prized, and their status and prestige in those sorts of societies will expand greatly.  That's free market economics right there, where the scarcity of a commodity will result in its value becoming greatly increased.  The sons no longer hold the balance of power, it is the daughters. 

It's just like the situation in America and minorities becoming the majority within 40 years time.  The oppressors will become the oppressed.  It is as nature intended it, and as humanity desires.  Standards will change.

Mmmm I just want to be at home and eating chips on my couch. 

Why am I feeling all nostalgic?  I need sleep.  More than anything, I need sleep.  What are you all complaining about?  I'm not really with the program at the moment.  Not really sure what else there is for me to say at the moment.

Getting older.  Sheesh.  Happens to everyone, right?  And what do I wish for?  Mediocrity?  No thanks.  Not wanted.

Just because I can.  Even though this was all done from one listen, and I'm sure it's full of mondegreens.  But hey, enjoy it.

Camden - Too Pretty For Punk (lyrics)

Deep in the bowels of Sydney
Her morning sun makes me tired
Her slurry tales tells me I'm the same
You tragic people are the ones to blame
You call me a liar with the twist of a pen
You call me a thief who has no friends
Her slurry tales tell me I'm the same
You tragic people are the ones to blame

Now my life has come undone
I thought I was the last bastion
As you whispered in my ear
Just too pretty for punk

Dipped in the fat of Sydney
The Crown Street thorns pierce my brow
In slight of tears, under the bridge
Your dropped your only copy of Coleridge
So fill your boots and come on in
In this big town, you're much too thin

Now my life has come undone
I thought I was the last bastion
As you whispered in my ear
Just too pretty for punk

As you whispered in my ear, just too pretty for punk

And she said everything you write you think is great
I answer everything I write I think is great
And she said everything you write you think is great
I answer everything I write I think is great

Now my life has come undone
I thought I was the last bastion
As you whispered in my ear
Just too pretty for punk

Now my life has come undone
I thought I was the last bastion
As you whispered in my ear
Just too pretty for punk

As you whispered in my ear, just too pretty for punk

And cause I can, these two game track muzaks must be heard now!

This guy is PHENOMENAL.  Not just the skill in what he's playing, but his compositional skills.  He has got all the movements down pat, and all the little rhythms in the backing music compared to the main themes.  Pure genius.  My fave is the elevator music from SOR 1 - NAILS it, and with so much swing too.  5:06 onwards.

And this is V-Rally African Vibes.  LISTEN TO IT.  LOVE IT.

That's it for now.  Joaquin out.

Weird news.  Yeah, very weird.  It makes things just that much harder to deal with.  But we'll see, right?  Yeah, we will.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Ravages Of Time

It only gets worse from here.  My back has been seriously hurting for the past few days.  It's just a consequence of getting older!  I'm not even that old, damn it!  Then again, maybe I'm deluding myself, and I'm starting to leave the prosperity of youth and enter the compromise of middle age.  I guess it's only downhill from here, right? 

I kid because I love!  Hahaha!  I love that line.  Frasier is back on tv, before Everybody Loves Raymond.  It's a good show, I find the humour to my liking.  But I am just unable to watch Frasier anymore.  Too many painful memories now.

HAHAHAHA!  Oh god, I am listening to the track African Vibes from the V-Rally soundtrack.  God that was a good game.  The cars didn't handle all that realistically, considering they had the turning circle of an elephant on skis heading downhill.  But I played this at a very young age, and I think I learned how to drive from here.  My brother and I used to race each other pretty much everyday at this game and battles would become quite intense.  We would just have this track on repeat and it would feel like a full on car chase, as boost would allow the person behind to catch up.  The tension would build up as races would reach their conclusion.  I liked the different parts of the world you could race in, too.  Every country was different, hell, even all the tracks felt different.  Races would get hectic with other cars and thin passes, so you would get a fair amount of rollovers at crucial bits of the race.  I also just love the music, it's so smooth!  African Vibes is Santana-esque guitars over African funk and tribal melodies.  Give it a listen on youtube, search for v-rally OST track 2, it'll be the first hit.  Well put together soundtrack I gotta say.

Well since I've started talking about driving games, I might as well continue with a list, ala yesterday's post.  YES, I know I have work to do, and I'll get to it!  So I have a special place in my heart for V-Rally.  That being said, I preferred it over Colin McRae Rally, despite Colin McRae definitely being a technically superior game in terms of car handling, setup, graphics and what not.  I enjoyed the game, but I did not play it very much.

Need for Speed 1 was a great game, and I enjoyed it immensely.  There was just so much fun to be had driving around cars I could not afford around big cities and street tracks, as opposed to closed circuit tracks.  Just a damn good experience.  Need for Speed 2 sucked so hard, so I won't talk about it.  Need for Speed 3 was a great game, and I loved the pursuit mechanics of it.  But my fave of the series (including the newer games), has to be Need for Speed 4 High Stakes.  It was a thoroughly engrossing game, despite being a poor man's Gran Turismo.  I progressed quite far, while my preferred soundtrack was At The Drive-In's Cosmonaut.  It enabled me to get into a good groove to just race.  I have a dislike for the newer Need for Speed games due to the ridiculous unreality of how the cars handle.

One of my favourite series has definitely got to be the Driver series.  The cars don't go all that fast, but they handled quite realistically, and you were in a big open world map.  Therefore you had to drive with a bit more of a brain if you wanted to keep your car in one piece.  As I've mentioned before, I would just boot the game up and play the Just Drive mode and drive for HOURS all over the cities.  My fave place was definitely Chicago from Driver 2.  Many a hidden car to be found and fun to be had.  It's a good one for young drivers to learn the basics of driving on populated roads with reasonably powered cars.

Daytona USA was a blast, but only an arcade with a full setup.  This is an instant arcade classic, especially against friends, or even better, a full 8 player linkup.  I only ever mastered the first track, and was barely capable on the second track.  But who needs more than that, right?  If you can ever afford to buy an arcade machine with this on it, I'd recommend you do it!

I'll also mention Sega Rally at this point, but again, on arcade with the full setup.  A brilliant game that was well executed.  The Celica automatic was my weapon of choice, and I was unstoppable on the first track, even on the major hairpin last turn!  I learned the tracks due to playing the game on Sega Saturn, and was even proficient at the second track.  However, the last track was too much of a challenge for me and I never finished it within the time limit.

I can't go past Mario Kart.  Despite never owning the game, I have played it numerous times on SNES, as well as Nintendo DS, and I had an absolute blast with it.  The simplicity and excitement of the racing, as well as the added bonus of minor vehicle combat, it made things a little bit strategic.  A bad racer could win through luck, so races were quite unpredictable.  A good experience, and one you can play with the family.  What's not to like?

At this point, I'll mention the F1 series.  I've played the original, 97, 98 and a few seconds on 2011.  For me, F1 97 was probably the best, as it captured the feel of the races while I was in the midst of really enjoying F1.  These days I've got no idea what's going on because I have no time to watch the races.  F1 was good, and 97 improved it to perfection, but F1 98 SUCKED.  They changed programmers and the game just became absolutely stupid.  Cars handled too well, and would be able to break from 250 km/h to 0 in the space of a split second.  Really turned me off the games.  But I did play 2011 on a PS3 some time ago while I was walking through a store and it was great fun.  T-Boy tells me that the latest F1 game is the best yet, and he thoroughly enjoys it and posts his best times to youtube and competes against others online.  Sounds pretty good!

For me, the series that I've had the most fun on has to be Road Rash.  Motorbikes, racing and violence.  What more do you need?!  Deceptively simple at first, but to actually be good at this game, you require skill and a crapload of luck with the traffic, the violence of other riders and road positioning.  Great for multiplayer binges.  Also insanely hard after very little time.  After level 5 on single player, the races just get a little bit too long, and the other riders a little bit too good.  It's a true challenge to get through to the end, let alone even win a race.

My favourite series though is definitely Gran Turismo.  Played all of them now actually!  Despite not owning all the systems that they've all come out on.  Ahh, Gran Turismo, again, it's not like a realistically handling game, but the depth of car setups, the sheer variety of cars and tracks, and learning racing skills, it made for a very fun, and educational experience.  Later games introduced rally racing, which was a welcome diversion from the standard fare.  Then there were races that mixed dirt racing with street racing, and that was insanely tough, especially the transitioning sections!

On to another point now - coding.  I don't know how the other can do it.  I don't know how others do it!  Like to build a system, or a functional piece of software, you just code -code, code, code.  Like thousands upon thousands of lines of code.  How is it possible to do that?  How can you review all the lines of code?  God, how does bug testing work?  But then I start thinking that if you're fluent in the code, then you should be able to spew forth lines of code as easily as I do with these words.  It's just the issue that I'm not fluent in it.

Hmmmmsies, that was a lot of blogging for just the first part of the morning!  I'd better get stuck into some work.  More to come later.

Ok wow, things are busy!!  Haha, not like it was yesterday, that's for sure!

Need to take a break from reading crap, so back to this.  What I don't get is parents who pay for nannies and au pairs and what not.  People who can't raise their own children deserve no respect.  Yes, I understand things are difficult with the rising cost of child care, and everything else, which usually requires both parents to work.  But that's more of an indicative problem with the 'system' as opposed to problems with people.  As little as 20 years ago, one parent was usually able to work while the other stayed at home to look after family, but that's not even feasible anymore for longer than 1 year.  We can afford to give up so much, can't we?  My prediction?  We're going to have a generation of people who are so disconnected from any sense of belonging or loyalty, or even love, and they will be our next leaders.  Just watch out there.  Parents should be able to have a LOT of time out to enjoy their lives with their children.

There are just so many problems in the world.  The issue is that there are not enough people who can dedicate time to the eradication of these issues (e.g. poverty, war, disease etc.).  This is a travesty, considering how much of what the world does is pointless in the bigger picture.  Common sense can prevail, and I bet things can take care of themselves, and therefore we can dedicate our time and resources on other more important things.

Almost penultimate week until I can get out of this place, yes!

Ok, I'll try to aim away from the game related posts such as this one and the previous one in the future.  But it's interesting to note that my post a few days ago regarding Athlete Kings on the Sega Saturn has registered massive hits.  I wonder what's the deal with that??!  Hahaha!  Also looks like I won't be able to fulfil my goal of hitting 300 posts this year, unless I double post and also do some weekends, which at this point seems very unlikely.  But that's alright, it's not about the sheer volume of posts, it's making sure I'm actually writing, and letting the anarchy inside my mind flow. 

Well I think I've gone as far as I can go for today.  Hope you enjoyed it.  Take care.

Ummm, are you having a go at me?  Not impressed.

Nobody sells Kinder Buenos in this town anymore.  Life is fail.

Just sitting here looking at things I can't afford, and would probably never buy, even if I did have the money.  I'm a strange person.

So sleepy, so very sleepy.  I need to eat something.

There's no more Hyacinth, is there?

Google!  Fix Gmail damn you!  Why don't paragraphs format properly when you put a space underneath them?  There's a gap, yes, but there's no BREAK.  Idiots!

Joaquin out.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Wrapped In A Dress

It seems that I'm having problems sleeping again.  I get to bed on time and everything, and sleep like a baby, but then inexplicably, I'll wake up after 2-3 hours, and then find it impossible to get back to sleep.  Of course, this messes me up for the next day. 

What I really dislike is twitter notifications to my e-mail which tell me that people have got tweets for me!  Well goddamn, of course they do, it's twitter!  You can't shut people up!  I don't need to be informed of the obvious.  Not only that, the notifications also tell me about "people I may know" on twitter.  100% of the time, they are people I've never heard of.  How stupid are there linking abilities??  This certainly ain't no facebook.  However, I do derive a LOT more pleasure out of twitter than I do facebook, and I hardly ever use FB anymore.  I think facebook is more for people addicted to being the centre of attention.

I wrote a note about issues with games, but now I have no idea what the hell I was referring to?  Oh well.  I'll talk about games anyway!  Hahaha.  I don't know if you're aware of this, but I used to be the king of fighting games.  Not just one series in particular, but pretty much all of them.  To me, it all seems like an extended play on paper-scissors-rock.  This attack will beat this attack, which will be beaten by that attack and so on.  To me, it's more of a thought process, and not entirely reactive, that way you can develop a plan, predict with great certainty what your opponent will do, and then have a way to counter it.  That way, you can just dominate matches.  I guess this all began with Street Fighter 2 at the arcades.  At first, I was an E.Honda and Chun-Li rapid button pushing spammer for the hundred hand slap and lightning kick.  Well I was a kid, sue me!  Of course, I progressed to the awesomness of Ken and Ryu and began to start dishing out punishment to others.  However, in current matches, provided the speed has been jacked up, I like to use Vega, whose reach and pure speed is just brutal.  You can totally destroy an opponent with rapid spike hits and throws and kicks to keep an opponent in the corner and win fights within 10 seconds.  Though I would have to say that Sagat is probably the most well rounded character, with power, special moves, and reach, but the lack of speed is a killer for him.  It was a good series, even if I haven't played some of the more recent efforts.  Also LOVED Ken's theme, it's a classic in video gaming music, I'd have to say.  I actually favour Ken to Ryu due to the multiple hit hurricane kick, as well as the double roll on his throw (as opposed to Ryu's singles in both instances).

Then came Mortal Kombat.  I found this game incredibly difficult at first, as I discovered that joypad rolls ala Street Fighter didn't work here.  You just had tap diagonal and punch and a special move would occur (e.g. Sub Zero's ice freeze move).  There's a lot of nuance about this game, as the series progressed, fights became quicker, and combos longer, and the general quality of opponents (human and AI) became much better.  I rarely used fatalities, as I memorised special moves and combos instead.  Or I'd use Sub-Zero (face it, he's the best), from MK3 onwards and utilise his Blk Blk Run Blk Run fatality, or sometimes Liu Kang's Fwd Fwd Dwn Dwn Low Kick immolation fatality.  I ALWAYS started off each match with Liu Kang by doing the bicycle kick.  Haha, it's just a trademark, and a way to get the easiest first hit of the match in.  Thoroughly enjoyable, I loved the depth and the difficulty curve of the games.  I did enjoy MK4, since it was quite different to the rest of the series, and my friends and I used to just bash each other senseless for hours on end till our hands and eyes hurt.  Problem with this was that my friends were as good as me at this, so there was no CLEAR champion, but I did manage to win the majority of my matches by improvising a lot of tactics (and never be afraid to sweep repeatedly, as well as land a roundhouse kick to run throw combo)!

I'll add in Battle Arena Toshinden here.  Haha, ok so I can hear some of the purists yelling at me.  Yes, it doesn't stand up to the test of time, and it's basically just street fighter with weapons (but in 3D).  But nostalgia really brings me back to this one.  I LOVED the music on Kayin's stage.  When I would load versus modes to practice special moves, I'd always pick him to fight against, just so I could get amped up by the music and love every second of it.  What I particularly enjoyed about it was the weapons based combat, I think this game did it better than Soul Blade/Soul Calibur (woooo big call there), and I loved the pace of the game.  It wasn't too fast or too slow.  So for me, it was a very strategic and methodological game.  And all the hard matches were very close, it was almost as if the computer liked keeping it that way to maximise enjoyment.  It's a shame that the later games REALLY sucked.  Eiji, you the man!  I loved NOTHING more than doing a hard slash, fireball, sideways sommersault to sword rush.  It would utterly decimate at least 1/3 of the opponent's health, and it was easy to pull off.  Saved me many a time.  Yes, I did own a Saturn at some point, and I did play the abysmal Battle Arena Toshinden URA.  But I LOVED how impossible the replicant battles were.  No matter what you tried, you would always get decimated.  Nobody makes games like that anymore, and if they do, they're a novelty (ala Dark Souls).

I'll put Kessen in here, though I don't know why.  I wasn't particularly adept at it, but I managed to win a lot of my matches.  I think I was attracted to the fluidity of the fighting system.  Though, now I can't really remember any of the characters or how most of the game actually played!  Hahaha.  But it's one worth nothing.  I blogged about winning a fighting game tournament with this game, so you can go back and check that out.  It's a great post!

Soul Calibur/Soul Blade.  I've only played the first 2 in the series, so I don't know how good it got.  But I was not particularly adept at it, I just couldn't find one particular character that stuck to me, so I would get owned a lot in matches.  I tried with Mitsurugi, I tried with Li Long, but it appeared that Taki came out best for me, since I RARELY used the knife, I would just kick, run in and throw, and somehow win matches.  But overall, my friends were definitely way better at these games than I was, and I never really responded to it.

Next up is Bushido Blade.  This is a VERY different fighting game to every other one on this list.  VERY slow, strategic, weapons based combat.  Different in the sense that you took real damage - a sword strike to the hand and you couldn't use that hand for the round, or a brutal stab through the torso and you'd be finished.  This added a dramatic tension to the match, where nobody really mashed buttons, they would look for openings and probe (and probe well, mind you).  This was a difficult game to master, as you could never prepare for everything, and you always had the potential for being caught unaware by things.  Hits were not guaranteed to connect, and chaining moves together would just result in you moving forward constantly, without regard to any change in direction from the opponent.  I loved the fear that overcame you when you had taken a hit to the leg and you had to spend the time crouched down and trying to defend yourself from the onslaught of an opponent who was completely able bodied.  If you haven't given it a go, hit it up through an emulator, it's great fun, but only for like-minded people.

Dead Or Alive.  This is a bit difficult for me to discuss in-depth, as I understand there have been stacks of these games, but I have only played DOA 1 and DOA2 (maybe DOA3, but only once).  DOA1 was just a pathetic Tekken rip off, but DOA2 saw this series hit its own stride.  Enter a new rapid counter system, and the aggressor would end up getting soundly smashed in the space of a split second, and vice versa.  It was complete mayhem and carnage.  Destructible, multi-level stages, and probably the quickest fighting game I've played (with the exception of Street Fighter 2: hyper-fighting).  What does it for me?  Two words: Jann Lee.  AWESOME.  Jeet Kune Do in a fighting game?  Yes PLEASE!  The moves were very fluid.  With Jann Lee's speed and range, it was easy to annihilate opponents, but against the computer, who seemed to be able to counter at will, it was always a thrill to see if you could come out on top.  Loved the graphics and gameplay on this.  However, I learned to play this on a Dreamcast, and the game did not translate well to the PS2 controller.  I recall going to a friends place to play this on PS2 even after I was good, and I was destroyed, because I couldn't get a handle on the controls.  I liked this game because it was 100% reactive, the speed was so fast that you couldn't plan for anything.

Next up is one of my faves.  Tekken.  Ok, so I've played Tekkens 1-3 and TTT, but nothing after that.  I understand the series is up to 6 now.  Tekken 1 was interesting, but slow, but I did enjoy the concept of fighting at various famous locations around the world.  Tekken 2 on the other hand, stepped things up a notch and made gameplay much faster, with a few more characters thrown in, and just more depth to the game engine to add more special moves.  However, I didn't really hit my stride until Tekken 3.  This game I must have poured hundreds of hours into in JUST learning special moves and combos.  Not even proper fighting.  I became excellent at this game, to the point that I was unbeatable and could win games at will, no matter what my health was.  I've blogged about my rivalry with my friend's brother, so I won't go into it again.  My fave characters were Jin and Hwoarang.  With Hwoarang I'd just use jinking moves in flamingo stance (you could sidestep at a much faster rate), and then just throw.  I'd also love using quick 1-2 punches, because it caught EVERYONE off guard when you use a kick specialist.  Jin I mastered a crapload of moves and combos with, so as soon as you went down, you wouldn't get back up because I'd just chain ground hits and would air juggle you back up to combo level.  Hahaa this pissed my friends off to no end!  My favoured mode was team battle, because I'd get my dream team together (Jin, Hwoarang, Paul, Nina, Law and Kazuya), and just destroy others.  It was also a good way to learn how others played and used characters they weren't 100% familiar with.  I also enjoyed the counter characters (Paul and Nina), because I could counter at will.  I learned this game inside and out!  I can't believe I got so good at it.  But I'm sure my skills are nowhere near what they used to be, if I ever went back and played this.  I saw moves before they happened, I could predict outcomes, I knew framerate differences in moves, gosh so much time wasted!  

Virtua Fighter.  This is my fave fighting game series, which is a riot, cause I've only played 3 of them.  Virtua Fighter 1 was nothing to write home about.  But Virtua Fighter 2?  On the Saturn?!  AWESOME looking game.  In fact, it would still hold up to today's next gen graphics, that's how good it looked.  Super frame rate, and fluid and smooth looking.  There was so much depth to this game, because there were literally dozens of special moves for each character.  My regret with this game was that I never bothered to learn Akira that well, which is a shame, because he's got an unusual style, and it would be easy to displace opponents if you knew what to do.  My favourite character was Jacky, mostly because of the Jeet Kune Do connection (though I preferred DOAs take on it, due to the speed).  I loved his remix BGM from VF1 in VF2, it's a great piece of music, not just in games, but in general!  I loved loading that up and fighting.  People would think I was cheating because I'd always try to turn the music on.  I also liked his regular VF2 music, because I got so good that I could time my moves to connect hits to the beat of the music, which pissed off my brother incredibly, especially when I would sing along to the theme, haha!  That being said, I did lose many a match as Jacky, as he is a great attacker, but he has no real defensive abilities.  Enter Pai Chan (or to a lesser extent, Lau Chan).  Sure Kage was a ninja, and what not, but Pai's brutal speed and countering abilities just made her unstoppable.  I did have the pleasure of playing VF5 on XBOX360 when I was living with my housemate, and I liked what they had done with the game, but to me, it didn't hold the same excitement that VF2 did.  It had become Tekken-ised in a way. 

I know this isn't strictly speaking a fighting game, but I had to include Streets of Rage on here.  1 2 and 3.  It was a tough game, yes.  But the MUSIC was what made this game rise above every other beat 'em up in existence.  Listening to it now, you realise just how ahead of its time it was.  Acid house, funk, tribal techno jungle, it's amazing that they were able to do this shit!  I'm going to say the music was way better than anything in any Final Fantasy game (that's a MASSIVE call), and I'll stick to it, because of the sheer innovation of it.  Probably one of the few games you can actually play while bopping your head to the music.  Put me in a room with this game series, and Panzer Dragoon 2, you will have one very happy Joaquin! 

Damn, the tiredness is really hitting me now!  But this was a pretty damn good post, if I do say so myself!

Was busy this morning, but not right now.  I'm just finding myself bored!  BORED!  I don't want to do anything!  In fact, I just want to sleep.

I think with guitar this evening I will aim to play some popular stuff, but coming up, I should probably focus on finishing ideas!!  So many disjointed and half finished pieces in our dropbox.
Sheeeittt, 4pm and I'm already feeling so tired.  I have a bad feeling that I'm going to have an accidental nap when I get home today.  It just hit me like a ton of bricks!  Ahh!  Probably due to my return to the gym today, after an inadvertently extended hiatus.  Can't nap, otherwise I'm going to have issues sleeping tonight.  But fuck, I'm REALLY trying not to sleep at my desk! 

Ok it's almost quitting time.  I'm done!

Joaquin out.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Fun, Fun, Fun In The Sun, Sun, Sun (You know what it is)

So holy crap!  It really is Rossco, he has returned and is now working in my area.  At the same level??  WTF?  It's an interesting time I say, very interesting.  What a strange turn of events, especially after all this time.  First M-Biatch comes back into my life and now Rossco (to a lesser extent).  All that's needed is Les Femme Anomaly to get back in it, and it's back to life circa 2005 or something!  Hahaha, what a weird turn of events, especially after what has happened.

I was looking forward to going home yesterday and just getting on with my life, but it doesn't look like that's possible.  Missed opportunities and squandered potentials and promises.  The drawing board is mocking me.  No matter, it's all just very probing and solutions can be found to any problem.  That's what makes us human.

Up to about March 2012 in the blog intro/retrospective, so all things are well on that front.  Just glad that I'm able to read the posts faster than I can type them, haha!  But the issue is still writing roughly 1 post per day, but not always reading at least 5 per day.  In fact, many days pass without me reading the blog, and it's a little close to one step forward, 8 steps back.

There's just so many possibilities out there, it's just amazing when you think about it.  It's important not to get stuck in a rut.  If you're relatively smart, you should be able to do what you want and lead a life that will make you happy.  Always try to remember that, even when the chips are down.

Haha, I know I told myself to stop playing CS GO during weekdays, but I couldn't help but hit up some action last night.  I love playing it with a full setup of skilled opponents.  Just makes wins a bit harder to achieve, and it's so satisfying when you come out on top after a very hard fought match.

Addicted to this chord progression I wrote some time ago.  It's brilliant.  I'm just wondering where I can get to with it, lyrics wise.  Very reminiscent of Brick by Ben Folds Five.

Life is fail.  It just is sometimes, you have to accept that.

Apologies for the short post today, but it has been incredibly busy at work today.  Oh well, no big loss. 

Better to stay busy than be bored, I say.

Anyway.  Take care folks!

Joaquin out.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Closing The Loop

How the fuck could I have known that?!?!  Oh god, this is too sweet to taste and revel in.


It's always nice to close the loop, don't you think?

I've finally caught up to 2012, and I'm in about mid-February in terms of my blog intro/retrospective.  I think I might give myself some time off from blogging everyday, just to ensure I can catch up and then start resuming activities as normal. 

Right there, man!  Probably no more than 1km away.  I can see it from where I am right now.  Probably even no more than 100m at a later point.

But I am blind to it all.  Just blind.

Things aren't as cracked up as they are held up to be. 

I suppose as long as others are clueless, others can claim to be better.

Sometimes it all gets a bit too much, you know?

That's it for now.

Holy shit!  Rossco makes a comeback??!  This should be interesting...

Joaquin out.

Saturday, December 08, 2012

What Are My Options?

Hell, I don't even need to ask.

I will stay and fight.

I can do this.

Joaquin out.

Thursday, December 06, 2012

The Time I Shook Hands With A Rapist (Unknowingly)

Holy moly, I'm still in shock about reading the news yesterday.  I won't name the guy, because it will probably lead to a defamation case, but yes, I did meet him several years ago at a wedding.  He was a well-to-do lawyer who had worked on a number of high profile refugee and immigration cases.  He was very nice and charming, and was very supportive and enthusiastic about my legal aspirations.  I thought that was pretty cool, but something about him didn't sit quite right with me.  He was with a companion who he obviously exercised extreme control over, and they were acting very strangely the whole evening.  What I don't get is how his firm didn't realise what he was up to, or how he conducted himself in his personal life, I mean it was out there in the open for the world to see.  I'm just appalled, but like I said yesterday, I'm not all that surprised.

Read about an academically gifted kid who died after a reaction to LSD.  The parents were apparently quite shocked about how he came to be in possession of it.  I'd like to point out at this stage that most parents don't really don't know their kids!  Even parents who think they know everything, I ask them to consider when they were teenagers or young adults, and all the things they snuck around their parents back.  Exactly!  It's all cyclical.

God it's absolutely insane at work!  In the space of 2 weeks, everything has just become nuts in terms of workload.  But what's stranger is that I'm not panicked about it, in fact I'm not even remotely stressed.  I'm stressed about other stuff, but that's all par the course.  I've put up with that for many years now.  From the shadows!

No, it couldn't be.  It couldn't possibly be.  No, the pieces don't fit.  My eyes deceive me.  I should be out and about, maybe even by the water.  The fountain is so beautiful.  I still think it is, despite the fact I watched someone almost die there.  I had my chance yesterday and I squandered it being in the wrong place at the wrong time, much to the chagrin of all those around me.  Hmmm, I wonder what's on tonight's agenda.

Just added a stack of games to my wishlist on Steam, and have started on a number of downloads for demos, just to see how things are.  Glad my ISP doesn't count those downloads as metred content!

Probably a small one today, just cause of the sheer amount of work I have to do, but that's ok.

Unsurety.  Unknowingness.  Prefix-un.  Un-suffix.

Will I ever be happy?  Or am I forever doomed to be the "grass is always greener" sort of guy?

FUCK!  I had my chance today.  AND I KNEW IT.  I SAW IT COMING, and I could have done something about it.  But no, I could not due to responsibility and obligation.  What a load of absolute bullshit.  It shouldn't be like this.  I hate my life.  I truly do.  I need out.

That's it for today.  Take care, folks.

Joaquin out.

Wednesday, December 05, 2012

I Had A Jacket, I Should Have Worn A Jacket

Alas, I did not.  Let's hope I don't get sick now. 

I know I've commented on this previously, but the weather is messed up.  It's December, it's supposed to be summer, yet it's cold and windy.  Don't tell me that it's not related to global warming or other weather man made weather phenomena!  If you do, you're an idiot.

Finally got a move on with the blog intro/retrospective.  Up to May 2010, and aiming to get up to 2011 by this weekend.  Haha, with only 19 or so posts in 2011, I'm sure that'll be an easier year to get through.  2012 on the other hand...

God, I'm still having trouble sleeping, and I'm sorely lacking motivation to get out of bed in the mornings.  I just want to stay there, fade away into nothing.  Disappear into the sheets.

Things being thrown off course.  Perhaps confrontation is the only way to go.  I'm not in charge of my own life anymore.  And tick tock, the second hands go through and I'm going to be nothing but ashes, blown into the wind.

Fuck, it's only Wednesday!  Got more stories to read, meanings to decipher and misinterpret and get worked up over.

Work continues steadily, it's kind of nice to be busy in December, when usually it's a minefield of nothing. 
So yes, looking to travel, but I have no idea what's going to be good in January-February.  It's a bit tougher, considering last time I went overseas, it was more February/March, as opposed to the earlier part of the year.  That just throws things out in terms of the Northern Hemisphere due to the cold, and even parts of the Southern Hemisphere, as it is potentially monsoon season in the tropical areas.  But it is nice just to think about.

Holy crap!  I've just realised that I can buy a Dodge Viper!  Straight up cash!  No worries, but of course, I'm unable to do that anymore.  I can't throw such caution to the wind. 

My own private hell here.  With no idea about what's next.

Ergh, I just read that 7 out of 10 marriages are scarred by infidelity.  Oh my god, that can't be right.  70%?!  That's a HUGE number.  My thought is this - if there is ANY doubt in your mind, any at all, don't get married.  It's that simple. 

Heart of glass, heart of stone.

Why do people invite me to things?  It's not like I'm going to show up anyway.  They should have learned their lesson by now, but I guess not.  Regardless of how isolated I feel.

Argh, it's too close!  It should be me!  That city is tainted with memories, fuck, even this city is tainted with memories.  The country is, the whole goddamned country is.  I don't want to be here.  I don't want to go there.

Hmm I was reading some of the other's more recent posts last night, and he made some great points, but I can't remember them now for the life of me.  I'll try to make notes if I come across them again, because they are definitely worth revisiting.

What I'm pissed about now is that Sega has released a whole load of old school games on Steam, such as Streets of Rage (one of my fave game series, and probably has the best music of all time), for like $3.50.  I paid MORE for it on iOS, and iOS is a shit way to play these games.  It just doesn't translate well in terms of a touch screen.  You would probably need a 6 button gamepad to enjoy it the way it's meant to be played.  So it looks like I'm going to have to blow some cash on these purchases, ditto for Minecraft.  God, I'll probably never play these games, will I?

What I think we're going to see now is a phenomenon called meme wars.  I define this as being a generational language and culture war fought out over memes.  This is probably hilarious for anyone over 35, who are probably wondering what the hell I'm talking about.  But the same way that parents rail against their kids and what they wear and what they say, we are finding that it's starting to happen to Gen Y and Gen Z.  Let's take YOLO for example.  Basically YOLO stands for "you only live once" and is an excuse for someone to do stupid things.  So people my age tend to think YOLO and people who say YOLO are complete fucking morons.  This has been presented on the internet through various memes.  But younger people, who also use the internet (god, do most of them even know about the world pre-internet), use pro yolo memes to demonstrate their point.  Therefore, we have meme wars, pretty interesting, don't you think?

Been reading about a lot of kids (well almost adults, legally) dying at schoolies.  For our international friends, schoolies is a term used to denote students who have finished their formal years of schooling (year 12, or being 18 years of age when done), and they go off to have holidays in coastal towns, or even overseas.  Of course a lot of alcohol and drugs, and inebriated sex is had during this time.  This leads to various instances of risk taking behaviour, accidents, rapes, deaths etc.  My opinion is harsh and it is this - you reap what you sow.  Kids and their parents know what the expect at schoolies.  It's a dangerous environment, but it can be fun if managed correctly.  The problem is, once one person in a group starts acting stupid, it is easy for the entire group to be consumed by such stupidity.  This is what modern society loves - a good time and getting trashed.  Fuck evolution and what not, this is survival of the fittest for the modern age.  If you can't make it through a night of drink, partying, drugs, then you're dead.  It's that black and white, I'm afraid.

Hmmm, I probably shouldn't have done that.  I cost you nothing.  It was the loss of nothing, don't blame me for anything further.

Tonight should be interesting, I don't really feel like eating anything.  Wow, I just read about someone who I met years ago who came across as incredibly creepy!  Apparently he's been charged with some very serious crimes, I wish I could say I was shocked.

And with that piece of shining brilliance, I'm outta here.

Joaquin out.

Tuesday, December 04, 2012

Concerned Musings

Read today that a hacking group called GNAA hacked tumblr by unleashing a worm that posts profanity on people's tumblr's and then replicates on other people's walls who read the post.  The reasoning for the attack was apparently they believe that the majority of what's posted and reblogged on there to be mostly worthless.  And you know what?  They're probably right!  Most if it is just cat gifs and jokes.  Good on GNAA, we should probably stop focusing on the lowbrow filth and look at major issues that impact us all, or even instances of injustice that nobody ever reads about or cares about, due to them laughing at angry cat.  Before you call me a hypocrite, I do follow alternative news sites on tumblr (in addition to people who post angry cat memes, haha)!

Don't know if I've been impacted by the worm, or whether anyone I follow (60+ people) was impacted by it, as I can't check tumblr till I get home.  What's more is that I actually write theses posts before I check tumblr, but I actually post them after, so it should be interesting!

So, tell me.  Did I destroy my own appeal?  Cause I'm pretty sure I did that with your all too willing hands.

I'm also interested as to whether I can go for the entire life of this blog without ever repeating a subject title.  Surely I already have?  Haha, I don't even know how I could check this without doing it all by hand through the search function on the site.

Sort of stalled with the blog intro/retrospective, still in March 2010.  But that's probably due to hitting up counter-strike GO during weekdays, which is a very bad idea!  An hour just disappears into thin air like that.  But I'll move back to my concept of no games during weekdays and continue reading, that's how I like it.

Busy day today with work, but that's cool.  Rather that than being bored.

Gah, I'm still super tired today, I don't know what it is.  I could do with more rest. 

Maybe it had nothing to do with me.  Or more than likely, it did.  Nothing to say to me anyway.

Hmmm, I shouldn't have left my old area.  It would have afforded me opportunities.  To get what I want at least, or even made sure none of this would have happened in the first place.  How blind could you be?  Then again, you weren't really the most observant person.

Mmmm just had a delicious lemon cookie.  Hahaha, I'm reminded of Morgan Freeman's narration from family guy.  Hahaha, still laughing about it.

Ok, only an hour until quitting time, I can do this!

No games tonight!  Just relaxing and having a good time.  Some guitarage, too.  Trying to get the other back into it, but he has been lost to the evil demon that is coding and learning!

I've learned all I can, I think.  Now it's just a matter of putting it all into action. 

Ok, so we've resolved to take off a large chunk of time in January-February of next year.  I'm looking forward to it, now it's just a matter of finding out what we can do as a holiday.

Now I don't know what's happening.  Oh, I suppose there are ways to find out.

That's it for now folks.

Joaquin out.

Monday, December 03, 2012

Deshi Basara

Indeed.  I'm tired today, and it's only Monday.  How the hell am I going to get through the remainder of the week?

Then again, I'll look down and it'll appear that the weekend will come quicker than I wanted it to, and then who knows?  I'll keep my eyes and ears out.  Let's just hope that I don't forget.

Didn't really get into guitaring over the weekend, but that's ok, I'll return with aplomb tonight for the remainder of the week.  I should also really stop drinking so much coke over the weekends.  It does not contribute to being able to sleep properly.  I used to do one bottle on Friday, but then it became one bottle on Friday and one on Saturday.  Now it's 2 bottles on Fri and 2 bottles on Sunday.  I really should at least pair it back to one per Friday and one per Saturday.  That's a bit more manageable, don't want a full blown caffeine addiction, noting my previous comments on the subject.

Got some good game time with a friend over the weekend.  Got into some Modern Warfare 3, Halo 4, and Black Ops 2.  All good times.  Though I have to say that I don't enjoy the party weapons mode in Black Ops 2, since it's an inferior version of arms race from Counter-Strike Global Offensive.  Got some of that in, too, it's so enjoyable!

In other news, I read that Microsoft is discontinuing support for MSN (or Live) Messenger.  That's a shame!  I've been using it since 98 or so.  My first forays into similar things were in chat rooms when I was in high school, and then transitioning to ICQ (haha I still remember my ICQ number), before coming around to MSN.  Conducted many a friendship on there and so on, it's been grand, but of course, as social media in the form of facebook and twitter have taken over, MSN has died out.  Things are now transitioning to skype, which is fine, since you can do a regular chat, as well as having the options of a video or voice chat.  What I don't like is that the functionality is not the same as MSN, sometimes you won't even know if someone is messaging you.  I'm looking forward to making the transition, provided that merging my hotmail contacts with my skype login isn't going to be a pain.  Well, that's life.  Sometimes it moves on, and all you can do is just go through with it, whether you accept it or not.

Watched The Dark Knight Rises and absolutely loved it.  Easily the best of the series, and I think Bane was a much scarier villain than the Joker. 

Well there's a fair bit of work to catch up on today, so it may be a short one.

I need more sleep!  Sorry, I should stop harping on about that.  If I don't get enough sleep, the problem is mine and I have contributed to it.

What's on the horizon?  I don't even know.  Actually, when I look at things that are quite far on the horizon, my eyes start to hurt and I get a headache.  I wonder if I'm starting to become short sighted as I get older?  Need more time away from the computer, that's for damn sure.

Ah, I'm just copping it from every direction at the moment.  It's not a good feeling.

Is this really happening?  Is this real life?  Why did you do it?

Time is forever fleeting now.  A day or two off soon would do me a world of good.  But that probably won't even help me, not when you consider time.  It's a strange thing, isn't it?  What's the nature of it?  Oh, time compression and FF8 goodness, won't you come back to me?

Maybe there's a time and place for everything, and things tend to get distorted by rose coloured lenses.  The things I used to enjoy don't really interest me anymore.  Perhaps that's also down to changing as a person, and you tend to lose focus or transfer it to other things.  I wonder if other people find that too, as they get older?

What are these days bringing?  I'm becoming obsolete.  Not just to the world, but in people's hearts and minds.

Is no news at all better than bad news?  I'm not so sure.

You think you're so clever.  I do, thank you.

Joaquin out.

Sunday, December 02, 2012

For Reference


Joaquin out.

Friday, November 30, 2012

Gunter, Do You Even Love Me?

It's rhetorical!  Wow, Adventure Time is truly fucked up.

Oh, fuck me.  Am I really starting to believe my own hype?  This is a worrying trend.  I'm starting to question what is going on with me, physically and mentally.  Since I was sick at the start of the year, I've just found it impossible to put on any weight.  That and now my brain is becoming so frequently scattered that I can't even string together more than 2 connected thoughts anymore.  I'm worried about myself.  And I still have to be here for a good 2 months without any substantial time off.  I miss the private sector shutdown period.  We almost had 3 weeks off, and I just totally went nuts with afternoon workouts and watching movies and playing games.  I was in a different city then, wow.  What a strange realisation.

T-Boy has gotten me into korean music, particularly K-Pop and I'm addicted to Girl's Generation.  Well specifically Sooyoung and Hyoyeon, haha!  They're hot, what can I say?  Catchy melodies and just generally good music, what isn't there to love??

In hindsight, I should have gone back, just to see what would happen.  But there's a limit to how much my body can take.  Something bad could have happened and I would have ended up in hospital, or worse.  But I need to know.  I don't get my fix until the end of the day now, as opposed to when I took time off and I could feed my obsession almost instantly.

Gah, I am so fucking tired and feeling unwell today.  Just feeling lightheaded and dizzy all the time.  And to top it off, I'm as hungry as a motherfucker, what's wrong with me??  I just want to gorge and sleep.  Is that too much to ask?  I'm just so bloody miserable.  On the plus side, there's literally no work to do right now.

Guitaring is just phenomenal.  I've been playing the other's songs as well as my own and there's just so much potential for greatness there.  Interesting chords and rhythms that lend themselves to vocal lines so easily.  How melodious!

So irate.  So bloody irate.  It's all calculated just to piss me off.  But it is other people's naivete and foolishness that are at play here.  You reach a goal and then you should just let it play out and see where it goes.  What would you do?  I mean really?  Things just get more complicated when it's not just about me anymore.  There are others to consider.  Things used to be so much easier and less complex. 

I mean how much of this is there?  60 or so years?  Does it get any better?  Will I learn to appreciate it?  Do I have to crush all obstacles to my happiness in the process?

And I ask, how could someone be so cold and callous?  How could others get that sort of treatment?  Yeah, just call me maybe, hahaha!  There will be an again.  Trust me.

As the flower of youth disappears and the grim spectre of middle age is upon us, the self delusion just takes off, unimpeded.

Shit, it's only 10:42!  How am I supposed to get through this day?  At least there is a weekend on the other side of it and I can hopefully relax and get some much deserved sleep.  I think that's where the tiredness is coming from, I don't really recall sleeping last night.  Shit, I'm starting to lose it here, I'm just THAT tired.

No hard feelings, right?  They're the only ones remaining.

I wonder why I didn't blog when I was overseas last?  In fact, I don't even recall if that's true.  I'm up to March 2010 at the moment, so I'm slowly catching up, though I suspect 2012 might be an impossible year to catch up on.

It's dry dead heat outside right now, but I can't feel it because I'm in an airconditioned office.  I'm in a weird mood right now.  I would love to go for a walk, but it's almost 40 degrees celsius outside (104 F) and I'm wearing a suit without a blazer, so that would be a dumb idea.  Well unless I could walk home to a cold shower.  I'd like to get out there and explore.  And I guess in a way I did while I was off, but not as much as I would have liked.

Hmmm, next week should be interesting, we'll see what happens.  Confrontation was never big on my plate, but if that's what it takes, then so be it.

We live in a world where people on the roads don't even stop for ambulances or fire trucks, even in an emergency, as you're supposed to do.  When did people develop such contempt for others?

Things need to get worse before they get better.  What am I being seduced by?  I think it's probably elements of my own psyche.

Aiming to get into some Counter Strike GO this weekend.  I love the fast and frenetic pace of it.  You get nailed by someone, and when they zoom in on that character, you most of the time in the midst of their death throes and it's absolutely hilarious.  Nobody lasts very long in that game!

I really like the dark tone and nature of Evangelion.  Is Anno-San right in his belief that children should be exposed to the realities of life as soon as possible?  If that's the case, shouldn't we try to change those realities?  After all, nothing is certain.

I was built up, like a machine.  Just to fail.  Just to break down and be useless.  What do you say when given the chance?  If only I had known more.  This mediocrity is killing me.  I don't like how I was treated.  Amends need to be made.

Ahh, why am I just not feeling it??  It's like a return to what I was feeling near the start of the year, except instead of anger and grief, there is only nothing.  A deep chasm where I used to be.  Coffee and cigarettes, right?  I'm not even granted that anymore.  The anonymous crowd and their ways.  Jesus, I didn't need to read that, now I'm pissed off even more.  It's all just so dead inside.

Actions, how you act, or even how you fail to act can change people's lives, sometimes for the worst, sometimes for the best.  Just be mindful of that, the next time you interact with someone, no matter how innocuous the whole thing seems.  I guess some people fail to realise that.

Ok, now it's 3:30, so only 90 minutes or thereabouts until I can go home and just forget about this week.  Alas, the stress and anxiety doesn't end there.  It's probably only just starting.

Going back over the other's earlier posts and a common theme seems to resonate around karma and fate.  This gets back to the circular argument, if there is fate and no free will, why should we be held accountable for our actions?  Let's take an extreme example where person A hurts, or even kills person B.  Under the law they should (rightfully) be punished.  But then the argument is, if the person was destined to do such a thing, why should they be punished?  They couldn't help it, right?  Well then you could also argue that the relevant punishment is also their fate.  But wow, what sort of a shitty existence is that, where you do not have the freedom of choice to do the right thing.

I can't move on, nobody can.  What did you do to me?

That's it for today.  Probably won't blog this weekend, but I'm sure I won't be missed.  Just want to stop this existence.  Move on to the next one, just to experience it.  This self hatred, I wish it would go away.

Joaquin out.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

The Clouds Look Like An Attack Force

Scramble!  But they don't seem to be coming any closer.

It would be easier if I knew the truth, but I don't know if that's something I'll ever get.  But I'll fight day after day to make sure I can.  My time is at hand.  Maybe one more chance, but it would have been all too much for this body to take.  And it has taken a battering over the past few days.  You know, life would have just been so much easier if the truth was given to me.  But I don't know if that will ever happen.

Being back at work is not fun at all.  I'm so tired, despite going to bed on time and sleeping in.  How troublesome, really.  I just want more time to myself to just sleep and forget about the world.

I had some brilliant points to make in today's post, but I can't for the life of me remember what they are anymore.

In other news, I've been enjoying Counter Strike Global Offensive.  Damn, the arms race mode on there is pure brilliance.  Just insane gunplay that's relentless.  Soon, your 10 minute match devolves into 2 hours wasted out of nowhere!

So besides John Mayer, the other stuff I tend to play when not playing original stuff is The Smiths and Suede (Bernard Butler days, of course). 

The rain is falling, but it's as hot as an oven out there.  I'm in a shitty mood.  I don't know how I can be excluded like this.  HOW.  AhhhhRGHGHGHGHG!

Joaquin out.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Da Faq Or Da Fuq?

I'll get to the bottom of it, don't you worry about that.

Why do people give flowers as gifts?  What a waste of money and time.  How impractical!  Oh look, here's something nice to look at!  Gee, thanks!  Doesn't really do anything except look nice.  Has no real application, since I don't think flowers smell that great anyway.  Not just that, they don't last long either!  Might as well just give people some rubbish so they can throw it into the bin in a few days, just like flowers!

Back to work tomorrow, sigh!  At least it's only 2 days.  I'm sure I can manage.  But that means more blogs then.

Joaquin out.

Wait A Fucking Minute

Wait, just hold on.

It doesn't fit.  None of it does.  The things that were said previously don't match up to events now.

What wonderful defence mechanisms some people have.


An asshat full of lies.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

What's It Worth?

Nothing.  Everything.

Sorry about the incredibly weird post yesterday.  As I was saying before I got rudely interrupted, I think I saw a crime being committed.  There was some junkie scumbag walking around with a screwdriver and putting it into people's car locks.  I was a little bit apprehensive to confront him lest he pull out a used needle on me or something.  So anyway I walk back to find some people to help me and these two bouncers just ignored me and told me to walk off and call the police.  I can't believe people are so blasé about crime.  That sort of attitude only leads to this sort of behaviour flourishing and going ignored.

Well I waited around for the guy to come back so I could get a better look at him, which he did, and he had some woman with him.  I again didn't confront them cause I was a little too shitscared (no point in trying to be a hero, right?).  But I passed by a fire station and let the people in there know, and they said they would alert the cops, so I'm happy to have done my part.  Wow, just wow.  Society is a fucked up place man.

Ok, resuming regular transmission now.

From here on in we play the waiting game, I suppose.  I mean could I be naive to assume it has something to do with me?  But here I am.  And yet there's still nothing.  No explanation, no justification.  Just a bunch of lies, stories and inexcusable behaviour.  It depends on my ability to count, I guess.  2 is easier than 3.  What's the nature of karma?  I recall the other having mentioned that when bad things happen, even worse things tend to spiral out from that, whereas good things only lead to marginally better things, and that does not occur all the time.  Maybe reality is just a series of random events.  That would be truly fucked up.  You know what you did, why even ask the question?  But still, a cavalcade of questions more to come, I suppose.

I watched the King of Kong yesterday.  Man I feel awful for Steve Wiebe.  Somebody give that guy a break!  I love his piano playing.  He also seems like a nice sweet guy.  What's happening to him is the epitome of what I think is wrong with America.  A good, honest hard working and talented guy who does not credit for what he does, while a massive empire works tirelessly to screw him over.

I'm going to try blogging over the entire day while I'm home.  Should be good for a larf.

It's gotten so hot lately that I've had to start sleeping with the fan on, which is always lovely.  I like the hum of it, it's soothing.  Haha I guess it's like being back in the womb?  Feeling good.  Hit the gym for some hardcore exercise, showered and feeling like a million bucks.  Looks like a storm is coming in though, it would cap off a beautiful day.

Now the question arises, what am I going to do with my day tomorrow?  Haven't figured anything out.  Well I'm going to watch a movie now, so hopefully more to blog about later.

I think caffeine is the worst drug in the history of the world.  Yes, alcohol is bad because it's so widely used and leads to so much trouble, but caffeine is so ingrained into western culture that people cannot function without it on most days.  I use it only when I need to, like when I have to be alert for an extended period, not just to do my work at work or just to be 'awake' to exist.  This I hate because I always fail to sleep properly.  So it's not just one day ruined, it's usually 2.

And hey, just like that it's raining!  Nice.  That's alright, I love it, and I have no major plans this evening, just to watch some more movies and relax.

So why delay?  Let's get to it!

Joaquin out.


It was my own stupidity that got me here. Now I have to use my brain to figure things out. Let's see how that goes. I wish I was smarter about such things. Now the scout motto is stuck in my head.

Not blogging so much on my time off. Just enjoying being alive and going to the gym and watching movies. Not even playing games. It's actually quite nice!

In terms of the blog read through I'm up to the latter parts of 2006 and I'm loving it. There has been plenty of food for thought and ideas I would love to expand upon. Alas, I have not been reading them with blog notes open, so I can't make any further comments.

Oh well, maybe next time.

Holy fuck! I think I just saw a crime
Being committed! Umm ok let me figure something out before I collect my thoughts

Friday, November 23, 2012

I'm Unable To Count To 3

Or so it seems.

Just thought I'd make you aware of that for now.

Things could be so much easier.  But as per usual, I've taken the hard route.

Back Again!

Hahaha, I hope some of you out there have played Athlete Kings on the Sega Saturn. The Chinese competitor would always say that, I don't know why they made her say that all the time! Haha, it was incredibly annoying.

But yes, I am back again. Was majorly ill the other day and didn't go to work, so that put the blog out of the question, and then returning to work yesterday, things were quite busy and I didn't have the time to get anything else done.

Don't know what's wrong with me, just been too tired to do anything. Lacking motivation, stamina or anything really. Haha, that didn't stop me from buying Counter Strike Global Offensive and Unreal Tournament the other day. That's great though, I think it'll be my last set of purchases for a while. Even when new stuff like GTA 5 comes out, I'll probably wait till everyone is sick of it and it comes down in price, then I'll get it.

I'm taking a few days just to relax and recharge my batteries. Just planning to sit on the couch and watch movies for a while. That will make me feel better. Or at least I hope it will.

Wooo, did I mention that I'm up to April 2005 in the blog intro/retrospective? Well I am! I used to do a year per day, but I think that's bordering on the ridiculous now, considering how much I need to get through. I'm now finding a month per day is much easier to handle. Though I must admit that I am enjoying going back to read all the old posts. You could say it was self-indulgent, but I enjoy reading the other's posts as much as I like reading my own.

How do they know that? How could they know that?? It's all a bit disconcerting. Where do these little white lies get us? Pass it on the left side, pass it on the right side. The net result is the same. Snorting forgetfulness by the gram. There hasn't been a single day, no there hasn't been a single one.

Had an epic session with guitar last night, it was thoroughly enjoyable. My memory retention and chord skill has gotten so much better since starting my new regime. I'm going to cut my nails on the weekend and it's going to be even better.

Urghhh where is my life heading? Who cares, I can figure it out later.

Fuck FUCK FUCK!  It's going to be a bad weekend, isn't it??!  AHHHHH!!!!

Joaquin out.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Sick, So Sick

Yes, I'm actually too sick to blog.

But I promise more to come when I'm better and I have the time.

Joaquin out.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Washed Away

It's been an unusually busy morning today, and I was snowed under with work. But have gotten on top of those issues, and now I can blog well for the remainder of the morning. Won't be a long one though, as I have meetings all through the afternoon, and I'm busy tonight, wasting my time with the cultural elite and the bourgoisie snobs that I hate, but am apparently a part of.

Why do people treat me in such a way? It's not nice. It's like I'm fading from existence.

I wonder why the human body or even mind power fades when it's not being used. I didn't go to the gym for only 2 days, I went today and I felt like I was dying. Then I also played guitar last night, after probably a weekend of neglect (I'm sorry!) and I played very poorly. Some days you have it, other days you don't, regardless of how much you practice.

It hit me a little earlier that I've turned into a corporate zombie. I'm not mindful of myself, or who I am or what I'm doing. I just do it without question. A friend on facebook recently put up pictures relating to education and how society rewards people who can remember and recite and regurgitate information they don't understand. And we call these people apparently smart. Especially when you're too stupid to know any different.

Been slowly getting through the blog intro/retrospective. Up to March 2005 at the moment, and boy I am worried that there seems to be a lot of events I blogged about which I cannot remember anymore. But there are also a lot of good memories in there.

You know what I'm looking forward to most when I get home? Eating a banana! Haha yes, I'm actually craving it. Fruit is always welcome, especially when it's so easy to come by these days. Not like earlier times where certain fruits could only be imported in season, and were incredibly expensive, or that you had to actually go out and pick the fruit yourself!

God, I am zoning out like a motherfucker here. How am I meant to keep my shit together for this evening? Haha, I suppose I can just fall asleep in my food, and at least I won't be too far from home.

Haha what was the point of this post? I don't know.

How do you know? How does anyone know? It's all speculative I say.

Joaquin out.