The weather has turned. It has become cold out of nowhere and I don't feel like a full on guitar night. Therefore, I have just completed my warm up exercises and put the 6 stringer away. I have decided to hit up the beloved blog and I am feeling very happy.
Well at least until I need to go the bathroom and brush my teeth before bed time. Haha I'm a bit like Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory, but a little less scary!
There will be an update to the Joaquin Rate List (JRL) in the very near future, so keep an eye out for that.
I have been very busy with some song ideas that have made their way to dropbox so I am keen to start working on those with the other. However, the other is quite busy so I will get on to him when his workload has died down a bit.
Yes, I know I have been delaying it for a long time, but it is finally here. My blog about women being treated/seen as objects. Objects as in a tradeable, inanimate chattel (which the law actually saw them as during the 18th-19th century), or as sex objects. Either way, those are my terms of reference. Pornography, 'sleaze-ism', dickhead boyfriends, etc. the list goes on and on. These things are (mostly) where women get seen as objects, and become objectified. Then, by mass consumption, social pressures etc., it just becomes ingrained behaviour in males. This may be glossing over the issue quickly, but I have not had time to give this much thought. As per the themes of this blog, they are just thoughts in my mind.
Anyhow, let's take it down to the base issue here: sex. Are women objectified because of sex? Is there some sort of Freudian psychoanalysis weirdy thing that is going on where men are so horrified/disgusted at the thought of sex, that rejecting intimacy and objectifying a woman is the only respite available to escape with their sanity? After all, it is someone's daughter, could be someone's mother, we have women in our own families who we are close to and feel for. Hmm, but that doesn't make total sense now does it? Cause there's the other side of the coin, cause not all guys are like that. Then that means the hypothesis is broken right? I believe so, but hey, it's food for thought right? Give it a gander if you have the time.
So yes I know I have informed you all before, but I now work for the public sector. Is it very different to the private sector? Yes, it is ridiculously different. I think the private sector is definitely a lot more busy and stressful. This is why I favour the public sector. Yes, the private sector offers more money, but in today's economic climate, that's not always the case. Was it a right idea to leave? I believe so. The opportunities were better in a private sector job, due to networking, salary options, and have the prestige of a global brand behind you. But I was just unhappy with my life. My quality of life is much better here. I am being paid more, and saving more, I finish work a lot earlier than I used to (and start later than I used to). But here, I'm also not a slave to outmoded work principles. I learned well from my last job, and I have a fantastic work ethic. I'm able to be innovative here, and not have 50 middle management types come down on me like a ton of bricks for wasting time, then wait 4 months, and have the same idea come up, albeit in an inferior form and have one of them take credit for it. I also think here I have the opportunity to do more stuff and progress quicker.
Well that's my blognotes all out of the way. I feel relieved! Have a nice day folks. Joaquin out.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Everyone is a slut...some just get paid
Yes, serious backlog to get through, so here goes!
I am again deferring my women as objects speech until a time where I can blog without rushing!
One of my pet hates is people who take ages to read e-mails at work! You might e-mail them 2 bits of information. Then the next day they have replied to your first e-mail, but not the second, cause they haven't read it. The second probably told them to ignore the first e-mail!! I didn't have this issue in the private sector. As soon as something came up, I looked at the screen. I do that now still. I like to be alert and know what's always going on. I guess people like to say they don't get distracted and finish what they're doing, but seriously! It's an e-mail, not like you're trying to dismantle a bomb or something! What if something is urgent? An emergency? Not good I say!
I've seen these cars on the roads lately with decals (I think that's the term) on rear windows. Two examples: "SINNER" and the other "THROUGH ALL LIES". Seriously, what the hell? Sinner? Is it an anti-church sentiment? Is she uber religious and wants to put it out there that she's a sinner? And the other one? I have no idea. I'd like to ask the Sinner lady what's going on, but she is quite ugly, and she lives in the ghetto area near my house, so let's put that on the backburner shall we?
MILFs (yes I'm sure I've posted about this topic some time in the past). I usually prefer the younger women. But damn, since earlier this year, I had a blonde South African hottie MILF client who probably knew I was checking her out while trying to give her tax advice. But I don't think she cared, she was AWESOME! Hahah I still remember her name. Anyway, at work, there's a new boss in another section who is also a blonde milf! She's wowza! Has a body that'd put girls in their 20's to shame. Am I turning around to blondes now? Who knows? Haha maybe it's a MILF only thing.
Ahhh. Till I have more time people. Joaquin out!
I am again deferring my women as objects speech until a time where I can blog without rushing!
One of my pet hates is people who take ages to read e-mails at work! You might e-mail them 2 bits of information. Then the next day they have replied to your first e-mail, but not the second, cause they haven't read it. The second probably told them to ignore the first e-mail!! I didn't have this issue in the private sector. As soon as something came up, I looked at the screen. I do that now still. I like to be alert and know what's always going on. I guess people like to say they don't get distracted and finish what they're doing, but seriously! It's an e-mail, not like you're trying to dismantle a bomb or something! What if something is urgent? An emergency? Not good I say!
I've seen these cars on the roads lately with decals (I think that's the term) on rear windows. Two examples: "SINNER" and the other "THROUGH ALL LIES". Seriously, what the hell? Sinner? Is it an anti-church sentiment? Is she uber religious and wants to put it out there that she's a sinner? And the other one? I have no idea. I'd like to ask the Sinner lady what's going on, but she is quite ugly, and she lives in the ghetto area near my house, so let's put that on the backburner shall we?
MILFs (yes I'm sure I've posted about this topic some time in the past). I usually prefer the younger women. But damn, since earlier this year, I had a blonde South African hottie MILF client who probably knew I was checking her out while trying to give her tax advice. But I don't think she cared, she was AWESOME! Hahah I still remember her name. Anyway, at work, there's a new boss in another section who is also a blonde milf! She's wowza! Has a body that'd put girls in their 20's to shame. Am I turning around to blondes now? Who knows? Haha maybe it's a MILF only thing.
Ahhh. Till I have more time people. Joaquin out!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Not feeling the apathy here...
I'm in a strange mood tonight.
Don't ever be someone's point of dependency. Cause they will drain you for all your worth, so that your life is unbearable!!
I am loving Kevin Rudolf's Let It Rock.
There are all these bloody flies around this room! They are checkmating me. Slowly but surely, they're easing themselves into positions around me so that I'm trapped, then BAM! My King is screwed. Help me!
Don't ever be someone's point of dependency. Cause they will drain you for all your worth, so that your life is unbearable!!
I am loving Kevin Rudolf's Let It Rock.
There are all these bloody flies around this room! They are checkmating me. Slowly but surely, they're easing themselves into positions around me so that I'm trapped, then BAM! My King is screwed. Help me!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
It's 3am in the morning!
I'm not referring to the Matchbox 20 song 3am, but the song 3am by Eminem. The other introduced me to Travis Barker's remix of it on the weekend, and I have to say that is one bloody catchy chorus.
The remix is also bloody fantastic. If you ask me, Travis Barker is the heart and soul of Blink.
I am bloody mystified at how the other just keeps making the blog better and better with each re-design. But he does it, so kudos to him and for extending himself by learning some new coding techniques to make this truly unique. I can't wait to see what he has in store in the future.
The other has been working ridiculously hard these last few weeks. He's almost like a private sector worker - a pain I know all too well. However, that's a rant for another time.
Fuel - Shimmer ends with the lyrics "guess I'll let it go". That is something I just cannot do. I have a habit of holding on to things. Letting go is not my forte. And I don't think I should have to change. That's how God has made me and I refuse to change.
I'm not playing nearly enough guitar, nor am I writing enough ideas to post to the other. I will do it soon! Too much time being taken up at home on stupid stupid things.
Why the fuck do attractive women feel the need to wear oversized bug glasses (ala Paris Hilton)? They are not cool! They make you look odd. They do not fit the usual features of the human face. Stop being strange please!
I should have kept my mouth shut at work. I said I had no work. Now I have been flooded from every side imaginable! Oh well it's good to be busy at work, it makes the day fly by much faster. I've gotten much better at chess too! Checkmated the comp with 3 queens! Now that's just sheer brutality - considering I still had 2 rooks and 2 pawns left to play!
Anyway, anarchy inside my mind, the other's mind, your mind, our minds. Joaquin out.
The remix is also bloody fantastic. If you ask me, Travis Barker is the heart and soul of Blink.
I am bloody mystified at how the other just keeps making the blog better and better with each re-design. But he does it, so kudos to him and for extending himself by learning some new coding techniques to make this truly unique. I can't wait to see what he has in store in the future.
The other has been working ridiculously hard these last few weeks. He's almost like a private sector worker - a pain I know all too well. However, that's a rant for another time.
Fuel - Shimmer ends with the lyrics "guess I'll let it go". That is something I just cannot do. I have a habit of holding on to things. Letting go is not my forte. And I don't think I should have to change. That's how God has made me and I refuse to change.
I'm not playing nearly enough guitar, nor am I writing enough ideas to post to the other. I will do it soon! Too much time being taken up at home on stupid stupid things.
Why the fuck do attractive women feel the need to wear oversized bug glasses (ala Paris Hilton)? They are not cool! They make you look odd. They do not fit the usual features of the human face. Stop being strange please!
I should have kept my mouth shut at work. I said I had no work. Now I have been flooded from every side imaginable! Oh well it's good to be busy at work, it makes the day fly by much faster. I've gotten much better at chess too! Checkmated the comp with 3 queens! Now that's just sheer brutality - considering I still had 2 rooks and 2 pawns left to play!
Anyway, anarchy inside my mind, the other's mind, your mind, our minds. Joaquin out.
Monday, November 09, 2009
Its not about you!
Quite often people lose sight of what this is all for. What is it all for? That question always reminds me of high fidelity. Its always important to remember why we do the things that we do in life. Nothing in this life is for free, so don't expect anything without a price. I know I've been ranting about designers for a while but there is just so much to say about them. Design is one of those fields where authority is always blurred. 'Designers' start the whole process with the wrong frame of mind. I'll break this up into pieces so its easier to follow.
Why does a designer study/choose to become a designer?
I think most designers are really passionate about what they do and this is one amazing thing about designers. A lot of people are just not as passionate, hence what they do is a 'job' and not a lifestyle. They truly believe in their work and what they can create. Design is a subjective field, sure what they do is absolutely amazing to them and often to others too. They study/choose to do designs because the world would be so much better with their art in it. Well I guess they have one thing right, doing something you love for work means you're not working at all.
Now lets go to the next step. Now that they are a certified/professional designer they need to their skills into a livelihood. And this is where it all falls apart. If you are a novelist, you can go out and write whatever you want; as long as its good and some people like it, you make money. You better bet your bottom dollar that the author took a considerable risk to make that novel happen. What happens if it bombs? Well they lose a lot of time and money, but they are doing it for them. That gives them the right to do what they want. Designers do not have that right! When a client hires you to do work for them, its not about you, its about them. They are not paying you to create your masterpiece, they are paying you to create theirs. This is where 73% of designers have it all wrong. You can suggest what you would do but at the end of the day the person who is paying you gets to do what they want. If you can't stomach that, find a different profession. Sooner or later, ever designer who is successful realizes - this is a job like any other. The person who pays your 'salary' has certain expectations of you. Its the way of the world, don't think you've escaped it because you've found a something to do that you are absolutely about. You only have complete freedom to do what you want when you take a ultimate risk and do it for nothing; if you get something out of it thats your reward not entitlement.
So I guess this goes to everyone who wants to do something their are passionate about but want to commercialize it. Don't think its all fun and games, you too have someone you have to listen to.
Why does a designer study/choose to become a designer?
I think most designers are really passionate about what they do and this is one amazing thing about designers. A lot of people are just not as passionate, hence what they do is a 'job' and not a lifestyle. They truly believe in their work and what they can create. Design is a subjective field, sure what they do is absolutely amazing to them and often to others too. They study/choose to do designs because the world would be so much better with their art in it. Well I guess they have one thing right, doing something you love for work means you're not working at all.
Now lets go to the next step. Now that they are a certified/professional designer they need to their skills into a livelihood. And this is where it all falls apart. If you are a novelist, you can go out and write whatever you want; as long as its good and some people like it, you make money. You better bet your bottom dollar that the author took a considerable risk to make that novel happen. What happens if it bombs? Well they lose a lot of time and money, but they are doing it for them. That gives them the right to do what they want. Designers do not have that right! When a client hires you to do work for them, its not about you, its about them. They are not paying you to create your masterpiece, they are paying you to create theirs. This is where 73% of designers have it all wrong. You can suggest what you would do but at the end of the day the person who is paying you gets to do what they want. If you can't stomach that, find a different profession. Sooner or later, ever designer who is successful realizes - this is a job like any other. The person who pays your 'salary' has certain expectations of you. Its the way of the world, don't think you've escaped it because you've found a something to do that you are absolutely about. You only have complete freedom to do what you want when you take a ultimate risk and do it for nothing; if you get something out of it thats your reward not entitlement.
So I guess this goes to everyone who wants to do something their are passionate about but want to commercialize it. Don't think its all fun and games, you too have someone you have to listen to.
Sunday, November 08, 2009
Cakie Please!
The new XML Blogger templates have been out for quite a while now but I hadn't implemented it as I always knew how to code the other one. I guess there are there are pros and cons to both. I feel as though I had more control over the old templates as they were regular CSS. I guess if I spend more time with it, I might be able to figure out more of the details of how they work.
Lately, I've been in the 'coding' mind frame. Been spending a lot of time learning how to accomplish a whole lot of web coding. Though it always feels like a never ending learning experience. I've been meaning to spend more time with JavaScript and will as soon as I get sometime. After next week I'm going to be busy again working on another play production. Though time flies really fast when you're working in the day and working on a show at night. Good thing is a whole bunch of my friends are in that cast, so it should be quite enjoyable.
Since I've been in the coding mind frame, I thought it was time to revamp this blog. So here is the new skin (which I like to call 'Blood Stained Newspaper') with Bloggers advanced navigation of there new (well they have been around for a while, but new to this blog none the less) templates.
On a different note, the other and I played an awesome game last night. Fat Princess. Its a game that you can buy at the Playstation store on the PS3 and it is awesome. How can a game where you have to feed a princess pieces of cake to make her fat not be awesome. Its cartoony, funny and a lot of fun. Imagine a strategy game like warcraft, with 32 characters on the map and everyone controls one character. It is a brilliant redesign of the classic strategy game interface.
On that note, I'm going to get a game in before I go to sleep. Its going to be a hectic couple of days. Our Season launches on Wednesday, so all the loose ends have to be tied...
Lately, I've been in the 'coding' mind frame. Been spending a lot of time learning how to accomplish a whole lot of web coding. Though it always feels like a never ending learning experience. I've been meaning to spend more time with JavaScript and will as soon as I get sometime. After next week I'm going to be busy again working on another play production. Though time flies really fast when you're working in the day and working on a show at night. Good thing is a whole bunch of my friends are in that cast, so it should be quite enjoyable.
Since I've been in the coding mind frame, I thought it was time to revamp this blog. So here is the new skin (which I like to call 'Blood Stained Newspaper') with Bloggers advanced navigation of there new (well they have been around for a while, but new to this blog none the less) templates.
On a different note, the other and I played an awesome game last night. Fat Princess. Its a game that you can buy at the Playstation store on the PS3 and it is awesome. How can a game where you have to feed a princess pieces of cake to make her fat not be awesome. Its cartoony, funny and a lot of fun. Imagine a strategy game like warcraft, with 32 characters on the map and everyone controls one character. It is a brilliant redesign of the classic strategy game interface.
On that note, I'm going to get a game in before I go to sleep. Its going to be a hectic couple of days. Our Season launches on Wednesday, so all the loose ends have to be tied...
Double dip...the taste of you on my fingertips
Haha I just had to get another one in there for today before I forget, or become too slack tomorrow.
I had a most funny dream - and before you start whingeing, yes I am aware that I had to consciously stop making this a dream diary a few months ago. However, this one is just too funny not to write about.
I dreamt that I was at home being bored out of my mind with something. Then I went out somewhere, then saw a girl who I used to work with just walking around in a swimsuit (?) - haha alas, I was not complaining as she's quite the fit one. Anyway, I got back home and I was even more bored out of my mind. So I decided to just get a bottle of cranberry juice and just drink it upstairs. However, the taste was not tart, it was extremely sweet. Then after I'd gotten through about a quarter of the bottle, I looked at the bottle - it was extremely weirdly shaped and it said that it was wine!! Hahaha, not having had any alcohol since 2007, it of course hit me (I don't know how my subconscious was aware of this though), and I was utterly wasted. I'm not even sure if it was a real wine, as all the wine I've had in my life has tasted like distilled filth. Maybe it was a dessert wine? But even then, how would I know what it tasted like? Regardless, I woke up and I felt extremely hungover! Hahaha, how could getting wasted in my dreams result in me being hungover in real life?? Ahh gold I say.
Red Dwarf Series 5 is pretty scary! I like it! Anyhow, I have some songs to write. Enjoy.
I had a most funny dream - and before you start whingeing, yes I am aware that I had to consciously stop making this a dream diary a few months ago. However, this one is just too funny not to write about.
I dreamt that I was at home being bored out of my mind with something. Then I went out somewhere, then saw a girl who I used to work with just walking around in a swimsuit (?) - haha alas, I was not complaining as she's quite the fit one. Anyway, I got back home and I was even more bored out of my mind. So I decided to just get a bottle of cranberry juice and just drink it upstairs. However, the taste was not tart, it was extremely sweet. Then after I'd gotten through about a quarter of the bottle, I looked at the bottle - it was extremely weirdly shaped and it said that it was wine!! Hahaha, not having had any alcohol since 2007, it of course hit me (I don't know how my subconscious was aware of this though), and I was utterly wasted. I'm not even sure if it was a real wine, as all the wine I've had in my life has tasted like distilled filth. Maybe it was a dessert wine? But even then, how would I know what it tasted like? Regardless, I woke up and I felt extremely hungover! Hahaha, how could getting wasted in my dreams result in me being hungover in real life?? Ahh gold I say.
Red Dwarf Series 5 is pretty scary! I like it! Anyhow, I have some songs to write. Enjoy.
Conspiracies and legacies
Yeah yeah, I know I was meant to blog about women being objectified, but I will get to that when I'm actually awake.
Saturday was brilliant. Spent most of it at the other's place, playing guitar, getting into some games and walking around town. It saw some brilliant ideas. One example being the other tuning his guitar, and then playing a strange riff which we developed and then turned into a fully fledged song, with a fantastic breakdown and brutal bassline.
I got my butt handed to me in Fifa 10 several times. I think I may have to retire from that game in order to save some face now!
Also saw the brilliance of a game called Fat Princess! Hahaha it is a strange cross between a 3rd person strategy game, capture the flag, and RPG. It is simple on the face of it, but beneath the surface lurks an incredibly engaging and deeper game. It reminds me of the brilliant multiplayer madness of Super Bomberman and Super Smash Bros. However I think this has the potential to be much better. I must get rid of my old old computer, desk and tv and make way for a HD TV and new consoles.
The other has introduced me to this website called Dropbox, which is a cloud file sharing system, which can be accessed from anywhere. I have to say I'm loving it! I've seen these things before, even since I was on a dial up connection. But I gotta say, this is the cleanest interface and easiest to use by far. I am aiming to have all our song ideas on there and then start finalising stuff.
I have just been getting into stacks and stacks of Red Dwarf. I am now up to Season 5 (which I have never seen before) so I am looking forward to that.
Anyway, that's it for now folks!
Saturday was brilliant. Spent most of it at the other's place, playing guitar, getting into some games and walking around town. It saw some brilliant ideas. One example being the other tuning his guitar, and then playing a strange riff which we developed and then turned into a fully fledged song, with a fantastic breakdown and brutal bassline.
I got my butt handed to me in Fifa 10 several times. I think I may have to retire from that game in order to save some face now!
Also saw the brilliance of a game called Fat Princess! Hahaha it is a strange cross between a 3rd person strategy game, capture the flag, and RPG. It is simple on the face of it, but beneath the surface lurks an incredibly engaging and deeper game. It reminds me of the brilliant multiplayer madness of Super Bomberman and Super Smash Bros. However I think this has the potential to be much better. I must get rid of my old old computer, desk and tv and make way for a HD TV and new consoles.
The other has introduced me to this website called Dropbox, which is a cloud file sharing system, which can be accessed from anywhere. I have to say I'm loving it! I've seen these things before, even since I was on a dial up connection. But I gotta say, this is the cleanest interface and easiest to use by far. I am aiming to have all our song ideas on there and then start finalising stuff.
I have just been getting into stacks and stacks of Red Dwarf. I am now up to Season 5 (which I have never seen before) so I am looking forward to that.
Anyway, that's it for now folks!
Monday, November 02, 2009
Any way the wind blows
The rumours are true, I have turned 25 today. More on that later.
You know what I'm really looking forward to? On Wednesday (my first day back at work - after my second consecutive four day weekend) at lunch I will walk down to the pub and buy myself a slushie. A lime one, an extra large one. It's gonna be hot and I have not had one in years. Literally. Years! My problem is compounded by the fact that only one place in this city sells them. I remember years ago, there was a place right near my house that sold them (this particular type of slushie) but they sold out and they got rid of the machine. Then there was a place in the mall that sold up shop and disappeared. Now it's only available in this pub in the city - though they do usually put vodka in, but I like mine straight up thank you!
It's a good feeling to have such a craving for a simple pleasure that has been denied to you for so long, but then finally getting it.
Ahh yes, I did mention in my last post that I would mention something about the objectification of women, but I will now get to that in a later post.
Now, on to less optimistic news. As mentioned above, today was my 25th birthday. I'm not a materialistic person, but I have to say, gifts such as shirts, suits, trousers, wallets, or any other type of clothing or accessory is NOT FUCKING APPRECIATED. I have clothes. I work 5 days a week. I wear my suits there. Then on the weekend I will just wear my night clothes. If I need to go anywhere, I have plenty of casual clothes. My parents bought me a suit, trousers and a shit load of shirts and ties. This is horrific. This is stuff I can only wear to work. I figured (and have been told by superiors) that work is just a means to enjoy the stuff you want to do outside of work!
As I'm sure I've mentioned before, I would much prefer a card with a well written message. I can buy my own shit if I need it, thank you very much. Frivolous material possessions which have had no thought put behind them are not appreciated. Then the icing on the cake; I was forced to buy presents for my other relatives who have birthdays in November. There was 200 bucks down the drain on my birthday. Fucking wonderful. I live a frugal lifestyle, and I don't enjoy unwilling deductions to the bank account, especially on my birthday. These fucking birthdays are just getting worse and worse I tell you. No wonder I haven't celebrated them since I was 12.
When I was in Sydney, I realised that I don't like my family. I don't like talking to them, or having them talk to me. It's not good for my mental health. I was just going to work, then on weekends I was just watching movies and playing games. That was the fucking life I tell you. I had a sweet apartment, I was self sufficient. I was in fantastic shape. I got on well with the people who were worth getting along with at work. I didn't need anything else. Now I'm back here to be a glutton for punishment. Just for more pay and less hours. Why the fuck did I come back here??! I know previously I said that I won't live to see another 2 quarter centuries. At this rate, I don't know if I want to make it a few more birthdays!
I don't know if I've ever been depressed. Sad, in despair, despondent, yes. But depressed? Nope, I don't think so.
I hereby pass Resolution #3 (don't ask me what the fuck happened to the first two - I don't think they exist). I will try to get out of here, and I will no longer talk to, or associate with my family. Done and done.
Joaquin out.
You know what I'm really looking forward to? On Wednesday (my first day back at work - after my second consecutive four day weekend) at lunch I will walk down to the pub and buy myself a slushie. A lime one, an extra large one. It's gonna be hot and I have not had one in years. Literally. Years! My problem is compounded by the fact that only one place in this city sells them. I remember years ago, there was a place right near my house that sold them (this particular type of slushie) but they sold out and they got rid of the machine. Then there was a place in the mall that sold up shop and disappeared. Now it's only available in this pub in the city - though they do usually put vodka in, but I like mine straight up thank you!
It's a good feeling to have such a craving for a simple pleasure that has been denied to you for so long, but then finally getting it.
Ahh yes, I did mention in my last post that I would mention something about the objectification of women, but I will now get to that in a later post.
Now, on to less optimistic news. As mentioned above, today was my 25th birthday. I'm not a materialistic person, but I have to say, gifts such as shirts, suits, trousers, wallets, or any other type of clothing or accessory is NOT FUCKING APPRECIATED. I have clothes. I work 5 days a week. I wear my suits there. Then on the weekend I will just wear my night clothes. If I need to go anywhere, I have plenty of casual clothes. My parents bought me a suit, trousers and a shit load of shirts and ties. This is horrific. This is stuff I can only wear to work. I figured (and have been told by superiors) that work is just a means to enjoy the stuff you want to do outside of work!
As I'm sure I've mentioned before, I would much prefer a card with a well written message. I can buy my own shit if I need it, thank you very much. Frivolous material possessions which have had no thought put behind them are not appreciated. Then the icing on the cake; I was forced to buy presents for my other relatives who have birthdays in November. There was 200 bucks down the drain on my birthday. Fucking wonderful. I live a frugal lifestyle, and I don't enjoy unwilling deductions to the bank account, especially on my birthday. These fucking birthdays are just getting worse and worse I tell you. No wonder I haven't celebrated them since I was 12.
When I was in Sydney, I realised that I don't like my family. I don't like talking to them, or having them talk to me. It's not good for my mental health. I was just going to work, then on weekends I was just watching movies and playing games. That was the fucking life I tell you. I had a sweet apartment, I was self sufficient. I was in fantastic shape. I got on well with the people who were worth getting along with at work. I didn't need anything else. Now I'm back here to be a glutton for punishment. Just for more pay and less hours. Why the fuck did I come back here??! I know previously I said that I won't live to see another 2 quarter centuries. At this rate, I don't know if I want to make it a few more birthdays!
I don't know if I've ever been depressed. Sad, in despair, despondent, yes. But depressed? Nope, I don't think so.
I hereby pass Resolution #3 (don't ask me what the fuck happened to the first two - I don't think they exist). I will try to get out of here, and I will no longer talk to, or associate with my family. Done and done.
Joaquin out.
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