Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Constant Annoyances

Distracting me from what I need to be doing. I thought I had a lot to say, but I guess not. Damn it, I just want to go home. If I was home right now, I would just be in bed and sleeping through the day. Hmm, the penny drops from such a great height. I'm just tired and over it, you know what I mean? When you get that way? Everything is with someone else, I wonder what this evening brings? Probably not what I need.

What I do find interesting however is that readership of the blog has increased significantly. I wonder what it is down to? It's certainly not blog quality, because it's become a pile of shit lately. But maybe it's the fact that I'm posting more often this year? Haha so it's more of a quantity issue and people will come back day after day to read stuff, even if it's complete bullshit? I don't know how you do it. This blog used to be pretty good, but these days, it's just lacking. I would apologise, but hey, it's my life, right?

Some people, they just have no idea. Can't do their jobs properly, and they have important roles to do, it's a joke really. I really hope the system changes. Or even collapses. Real anarchy. Real choice.

Oh how so many of you change the world! It's a small place, this world.

What do you want? Is it what I want? Do those two ideals conflict?

Can you will yourself out of existence? If existence is held together my collective thought, then surely it would be possible to fall out of existence? What if life exists solely because we are here and thinking? Then it is perpetual, and life can never really become extinct. That's a scary proposition right there. That could mean the second we all stop thinking, we cease to exist.

It is way too cold for this shit, I tell you! I need a fucking vacation. My brain has turned to mush.

With that, I'm done.

Joaquin out.

Monday, July 30, 2012

Flopping About

Because I am so effing tired right now. I don't even recall the last time I was this tired. Maybe when I was in Sydney? I'm not even sure what it's caused by. I slept at a decent hour last night, and didn't feel tired when I woke up, but as soon as I got to work, it's pretty much game over!

The other mentioned over twitter that he's giving up on games. I'm probably not all that far behind. I spent like $300 on games over the past year, and barely played anything. In fact there are a few games that I installed and never played! I think it's probably time I gave it away, too. There's just no time. Not just that, there's no interest to play anything new. There will be new stuff coming out, sure, like GTA5 and the new Starcraft 2 expansion pack, but I don't think I can be bothered getting them when they come out. I'll probably get them in a few years if I'm even still playing games.

I give up for today! There's other things I would rather be doing. It's also starting to get freakishly cold! I just want to lay in bed all warm and not caring about the world.

We don't belong. We simply don't belong, we just don't. What rights can be exercised at a time like this? It requires more thought.

Anyway, I'm much too tired to keep up a valid train of thought (or even existence), so that's it for today folks.

Joaquin out.

Friday, July 27, 2012

Does That Sign Say Redneck??

Cause that's what it looks like from my office window!! But it doesn't say that, unfortunately.

In (not quite) defence of Julian Assange: the guy is a tosser, basically. I think we can all agree on that fact. But the work he accomplished with wikileaks is a matter of international importance. Governments are all too keen to keep information from its citizens who elected them to power. And what's more, there are absolute motherfucks out there who insist that the Government should be able to keep secrets from its citizens. How can that be right? It goes against all the principles of democracy! If that's the case, people like that should NEVER have the right to complain about Government or criticise it when they find answers hard to come by. If the government bulldozes your house, then too bad, you're a shit who doesn't deserve to part of regular society. What's more, is that douchebag conservatives who are more likely to support this line of thinking are ones who love things like revolutions and wars. Just wars and revolutions occur because of governments behaving in secretive fashion like this! Jeez!

I support Wikileaks, yes. But do I support Assange as a guy? No, not really. The guy has been accused of some pretty serious things. If he's innocent, as he claims to be, then why not face the charges? He will come off smelling like roses if a court exonerates him. I understand there's complexities related to potential extradition, as obviously the Americans and the British Governments want him, to punish them for making look like the idiots that they are. So why not have the trial somewhere neutral and have it out? Cause all this
pre-trial nonsense and asylum requests are not making him look good.  Go to trial, that's how the legal process works! Clear your name! I'm also disgusted by the hypocrisy of some people. People should be rightfully making a point that sexual assault is not to be tolerated. But as soon as someone of importance allegedly commits the crime, it all must be a conspiracy and he's innocent! What the hell?! Next you will be saying if someone attractive does it, then it's not really sexual assault. God help us.

I read today that Google has just trialed a new super fast internet in America in some place with a line speed of 1 gig per second. Wow! That's amazing, I wish I had that sort of speed! But then it got me thinking. What's the point in having it so fast? That's seamless, bufferless internet. All it will result in is you processing even more information during a given time on the internet. I'm not sure whether this is a good thing. For example, I remember being in a third world country and trying to check my hotmail. It took me 30 minutes, so it's all I did and I got over it. Now, let's apply this new super net to my 30 minute window. How many things could I do? I really only needed to check my e-mail, but I'm sure I would be doing heaps of other things of no relevance. And I think that's the key point, we are changing our minds to absorb as much information as possible. And guess what? Most of it is useless. It adds no value to your life. We really are turning into those humans from Wall-e where our bodies will just grow large and fat and useless, as we will
no longer need them.

Guitar, ah, good old guitar. Let me tell you that it's an incredibly difficult instrument when you first start. It may seem impossible, but if you keep up with it, you will eventually get better. I remember playing my first G chord and wondering how the hell I'll play anything else, given that I couldn't move chord shapes without
stopping, moving my fingers and then resuming playing. But now I can play quite proficiently, and even through that, play a number of other instruments. So just keep up with things you find difficult, you will
get better!!

I'm just planning a nice relaxing night tonight. Hell I might even sleep early. Just need to have my vanilla coke and watch some good game as part of my Friday ritual though.

That's it for today folks.

Joaquin out.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Anxiety & Boredom

Make strange bedfellows don't you think? You'd think that one would definitely get rid of the other. Well at least I would have thought so, but I found it impossible to get to sleep last night. Those situations are weird, don't you think? Where you ask yourself questions that you know have no answer, yet you are still thinking a
million miles a minute which keeps you up, nonetheless. I'm feeling alright this morning though, probably cause I went to the gym and I was able to stay warm on my way to work.

Made contact with an old friend recently. It's been more than 10 years. Things fractured, and I don't know why. But at least time should give us the room to make peace and be friends again. That would be nice. Although some fractured relationships are better left untouched, though there are several that are still bugging me, and I must work to find out answers.

I'm looking at my tax situation, and goddamn, it's not good! I'm going to have to pay a crapload, but I always seem to forget about what deductions I can claim. Not good for someone who worked in the field! Hopefully I won't have to pay thousands of dollars.

Plans and promises, all laid by the wayside. Where did everything go? Where did everyone go? Where is my life? Where is my mind?

I don't like eating big lunches, especially on work days. You pig out then feel awful for the rest of the afternoon, and then you get home and you still have to have dinner! Not good.

There is work to do, it should keep my occupied for tomorrow at least, and hopefully some of next week.

Being here and having obligations sucks, especially when you have other places you would prefer to be. Other things you would prefer to be doing.

Joaquin out.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Where In The World Are You?

Though I do not require a stitch to wear tonight, so long as I'm warm and in bed early. I'm such a grandpa, but I don't mind.

Always plotting and scheming. I'm running a fine line between wanting to perfect the songs I've already written, as well as coming up with new things to stay fresh and excited about playing. That and also just generally practising, so my skills stay sharp. Gosh, you really need to have music as your life if you want to play well. There's no room for work on the side. Just music, music, music.

What's there to be excited about, you ask? I don't know. Need to get back into gameage goodness. Just read there is a Rome 2 Total War coming out! Goddamn, I still need to finish Shogun 2! And it's hard damn it! I'm getting my assed kicked. You take a small raiding party to go out and explore and you will ALWAYS encounter a massive army that will wipe them out. When you don't have a strong economy to start off with, then you're in for a hell of a long ride.

My neck and back seriously hurt. Probably from sleeping in weird positions, well that and not being able to sleep properly due to anxiety. Damn it, I'm getting old, aren't I?

I've figured out what is wrong with my finger, it's a chillblain. It hurts! But strangely, it's fine when I play guitar, I wonder why? I'll probably need some sort of medication for it, or at least need a day off to take care of it.

Blah, tomorrow could have been a better time to take care of business, but it looks like it's more of the same bullshit for now at least.

Processing as much information as I can handle.

Joaquin out.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Anxiety Returneth

And it came back with a vengeance. I shouldn't have looked really. Now I'm trapped.

I'm back to not sleeping, and not eating, and just generally not feeling well. What the hell is going on? Well I know what it is. And I don't want to address it. There are so many fucking red herrings at the moment.

My fingers are all swollen and bruised and my wrists are peeling and cracked and bleeding like some dirty junkie.

Fuck, I don't want to feel like this. I cannot do this.

Do you even care? I bet not. Who the hell am I even talking to?

Gotta get a grip on things.

Being human is a crime. When you think about it, the only thing that can kill youth is life isn't it? Because youth disappears the longer you're alive. But life and vitality is a sure sign of youth. How self-defeatist, really.  All fatalist.

Anyhow, Joaquin out.

Monday, July 23, 2012

First Thing In The Morning

Haha well today I asked myself "boy, I really hope I didn't piss my pants while I slept". Luckily I hadn't, but you never know! Strange what the morning mind thinks.

It's been an insanely busy day today. You know, one of those incredibly busy days where you have so much on that you can't actually remember what you're doing? Haha, yes, one of those! I've missed them, it's been a while. Hopefully I'll be feeling more awake tomorrow, so that I can adequately deal with the work that I have to do.

Damn it! It's just one thing after another, basically! One thing at a time, please!

That's it for now.

Joaquin out.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Some People

I would really like to know what is going on, but I am out of the loop, as always. The question is would I prefer to be within the loop? Let's not answer that. Too many things going on and I need to get to the bottom of it.

Just like it was mentioned in a song - so many questions, I need an answer.

I had originally planned on making this a monster post, but right now I have just completely and utterly run out of things to say. Did you know that all the traffic light sensors in this town don't work on pressure sensors? They work on 'metalic' loop sensors. I did not know this! How insane!!

Don't have a lot planned for this weekend, so let's see where it takes me.

National debt. It's a funny thing, isn't it? How can a nation borrow money from institutions and other countries? And not just that, the entire concept of Western capitalism and democracy is now almost dependent on nations being heavily in debt. Even with massive budget gains, most countries have debt that can never ever be erased. I'm not talking about your poor third world nations, I'm talking about major powers. Each year they just fall even more further into debt. It's basically a black hole that can't be escaped. What's the trigger point? When do debtors call in their favours? You can't stand to always be happy losing so much money, can you? If people actually stopped and looked at the state of the finances of their country,  they would be majorly appalled, I'm sure.

Been playing guitar in EABGBD# - for the uninitiated, that's the tuning Coldplay used in Yellow. It's a very odd tuning, and I don't know how the hell they came up with it, since they're not the most technical musicians out there, but this is the first time I've ever seen this tuning. I've gotten a few interesting shapes down, I like the way it sounds.

Well that's it for today folks.

Joaquin out.

Thursday, July 19, 2012


And the day is just getting further and further away from me. Hell, it could be worse, it could be 11:11. The other knows what that means!

I'm concerned about my finger. I fear I may have broken it somehow, but I'm not sure how. There's some discolouration and swelling and for some reason it is really itchy and painful. I can still use my finger and move it around for guitar etc. but it is a serious pain in the ass. It could also just be frostbite. Either way, it's still annoying, as I'm not sure what to do about it. Don't want to go to the Doctor because I have been there so many times in the last month or so. Just sick of it really.

Anyway, that's my whinge for today.

Joaquin out.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Heads In The Sand

It's all a bit bland, just ignorant of everything around you.

Slowly trudging through work, but a little bit each day adds up when it comes to crunch time. At least that's something I can recall from university, though I'm sure if I trawled back through all the posts I'm sure I would find a whole bunch of entries related to last minute bang up jobs!

Weird how you get strange views on the past - it's always hindsight isn't it? "I could have sworn...this" "I could have sworn...that" and what not. I wonder why humans think like that.

I read an interesting article today about how technological progress is what is driving humanity forward, and it is no longer evolution. I've never really thought about that before, but it definitely ties into my earlier thoughts about evolution having really hit a dead end. Everything that changes now is as a result of technology. I wonder what this means for us in the long term? Surely there must be consequences, and that humans will not be able to adapt like we used to? Or maybe technology will overcome all adversity anyway? I wonder what the endgame will be.

Keeping it short for today.

Joaquin out.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

I Wish I Had The Time

Because I have nothing else, but I am wearing a watch! I've got the biggest urge to sit at home, drink some vanilla coke and just play some games and watch some movies. I don't want to do anything else right now, but here I am, stuck at work, bored out of my brain!

Reading up on a lot of historical figures - the founding fathers, generals etc. I'm wondering if anyone in the modern age can ever reach such heights of greatness again. Can I ever be that great? I hope these aren't delusions of grandeur.

Your friends today are your enemies tomorrow, but rarely is it ever the other way around, don't you think?

What's money? What's your value? What's your net worth? It's all meaningless when you take it out of context. George Washington was quite rich, but if you put him in a time machine with all his money, he wouldn't be worth anything today. Currency has changed, they don't mark bills the same way as they did in his time. His land holdings don't mean anything now. But this was a guy who was one of the wealthiest men in the country. What does that even mean in 2012?

Food for thought.

Joaquin out.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Everyone Gets The Blues On Monday

And I'm bending the hell out of that note. Or at least I am in my mind.

Rolling with my homies, or thereabouts. Checked out places to buy on the weekend. I just do not understand it, the prices of houses in this town is just ridiculous. We earn a crazy amount of money for a family, but even that is not enough to comfortably own a decent home in a decent area. It's all just a bit silly really. What hope is there for regular people? They just have to rent, but even then the price of rent is so close to home loan repayments, it's just really unfair. I hope the market just collapses and everyone with hardcore assets gets fucked over by the drop in value.

At least this week there should be time to blog some more, which is great because I haven't had a bucketload of time really, but then again, I don't have a lot to say.

Haha and with that, I guess that's it!

Joaquin out.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Stuck In An Elevator

Not living it up cause I'm going nowhere.

Yes, I was stuck in a lift this morning. What an absolutely weird experience. There have been numerous problems with the building that I live in. It's nice, but it's old.

What is it with mofos who get up late to go to the gym? In the mornings I use the cross trainer, bike and the treadmill. I get up at 6:45 to make it. So I'll be up and going, and then some idiot will always meander in at like 7:20 and then take the treadmill! Just as I was about to use it! Fuckers!! Not only that, they just walk! They don't run! They don't do hillclimbs, they just walk! What the fuck?! Perfect metaphor for life! People just taking things from you at the last minute and then wasting everybody's time. Fuckers!

Guitar is coming along quite swimmingly! I'm actually very proud of myself for getting a bit more motivated and devoting a bit more effort into things.

It's raining outside! Well it would be nice if I was at home relaxing, but I've gotta battle on to get home, which is not so good. At least I brought gloves, bitches!

Joaquin out.

Monday, July 09, 2012

"What's the meaning of life? And don't just say it's to have sex"

Haha, I remember when I was asked this. I think I would have been in college. I don't recall what I answered with though, so sorry for that anticlimax.

As you may have gathered, I've been busy with work, so haven't had the time to write fleshed out blog notes.

Had an interesting dream last night. I owned a red series 1 Dodge Viper RT/10! For a start, that's weird, because I prefer the GTS-R over the RT/10, and not only that, I was going to drive it when Mitch got in the driver's seat and took me for a drive in it. What the hell?? Mitch and I weren't really friends in high school, more so acquaintances, and I haven't seen him since then. And why is he driving my car?! Not only that, he drove it well. I wonder what it means. It was fun though!

Anyway, let's keep it brief. I'm tired.

Joaquin out.

Thursday, July 05, 2012

Crushed By Crushes

When you think back on your entire love life, can you recall all your crushes - requited and unrequited?  I can.  All of them, even the passing fancies.

Were you ever embarrassed by any of them?  You see them now and you wonder "what the hell was I thinking?" and you can laugh about it?

Not me.  My crushes are always well-picked, and there is nothing passing about the choice.  And sometimes it isn't even a choice!  It just is.

And even when I don't see them for a long time, if I happen to see them again, I recall why I liked them.  I remember exactly what it was that drove me crazy about them.

But maybe that's just me.

Joaquin out.

Monday, July 02, 2012

Drowning In Low Tide

Apologies - blogger was acting weirdly on chrome for some reason.  Tried to post a little on the weekend, but it didn't work.  Draft didn't even work, but that's ok!  Not a whole lot to say.

Things are quite busy at work at the moment, so I don't know if I'll be able to blog with the same volume as the recent past, at least over the foreseeable future.

But bits and pieces, drips and drabs as they come.

Take care.

Joaquin out.