Never Been So Alone, Never Felt So Alive, And So Disgusted...

Ok I was write all a long. Sleeping pills are not good for you. Coz of some crap that happned to me, I just cant sleep. Took 2 didnt work, after I the third I passed out and almost slept the whole day through. I think I really needed that sleep, but now I feel like I need more. How blissful it would be if I could sleep my life away, not a care in the world. Oh yeah, I would like to aplogize about the blog the other day. I felt like I got hit by a train, actually that would have been better. At this moment my insides feel like its burning up, it probably is screaming in pain. I'm taking it for a ride. I just feel sick. Haha had the most wierdest experience ever. I went to this new shop, and the owner started taking pictures of me for their ad that they are gonna put up. Hehe I sould have asked for some money for the job, but it would be pretty cool to see myself up on a billboard. Even though I'll probably not be able to see it myself as I will be out of time by the time that happens.

I am not in the mood to do anything. I feel a little numb, so if anyone wants to slap me across the face, heres your chance, I wont do anything back. I need some feeling back in my body. I am being hung upside down by my big toe, and I wish I were shot instead. There are somethings that feel like crap, this is one of them. Its like being in a freak accident and still live after that. Why is the world so cruel?? Whats worse is the no one is around. Its like the whole world has turned its back on me. My cousins are out of town, cant talk to them. All my friends are out and I cant find them. Only person thats there is the other, and he is half way around the world. Talk about solitued. Where am I going from here?? I wish I knew. Whats worse is that its probably just me, i'm here feeling like shit, where as she is out there having the time of her life. So for now I have cigarettes to kiss. Yeah I know, I quit 5 months ago, and I am back on it. But I promise that I will be right off it as soon as possible, it just happens to be the only company that i have right now. Ok I'm off, I am not fit to write about anything intelectual. Have a brilliant day, and make up for the shittiest time of my life. Cheers.