When I Look Back

Just gearing up for my work trip at another ungodly hour. What's worse is that even on the weekend I won't get any respite because I will be so freaking busy. Just over it all, really.

I enjoyed today's what if on xkcd - check it out here http://what-if.xkcd.com/9/ although it is quite scary! Damn his brilliant mind.

I've been looking at the readership of the blog, and readership is at a steady decline now, which I can't really attribute to anything in particular. But like I've said, this is not about readership, it's just about writing for the sake of writing. Despite all the flashy other bits of social media that are around, I will always use this platform because it's simple and it's my preferred medium. Not taking pictures of food, not reposting artful photos from college drop outs, not adding 'friends' who I don't really know or care about. I write from the mind, I write from the heart. I think it shows in some of the more disjointed posts of late.

September shortly. I think it is time for a blog intro/retrospective, but I don't know at this point whether I'll blog about it. Maybe I'll just keep my findings to myself. Wow, it's been 8 years of running this blog, I can barely believe it. I don't think I've done anything for 8 years except exist. Well maybe that and play guitar. I don't think I know of any other unthemed blogs (i.e. non celebrity or food related) that have been around this long. That's quite an achievement, so kudos to the other and the other others that we've had along for the ride. Long may it continue.

Things just get more complicated as you get older, I wonder why that is? When you're young, all you do is look forward to getting older so you can go and do what you want, but as you actually do, you find yourself restricted by life and it's actually almost impossible to go out and do what you want. Isn't it sad how life can do that to you?

You know what hard playing is in music? It's the attack of any particular instrument in a given song. You can play in a restrained manner and then just cut into something hard for a bit, and to the audience will feel like they've been punched in the face, and they'll really get the message of what you're trying to say. If you youtube James Taylor - Fire and Rain and then watch the sixties archive performance of the song, you will hear some of the heaviest playing ever on his chords during the transition between verses. It just goes
to show you that you don't need to have the amp set on 11 with the distortion at maximum gain to be heavy. Just a dude on an acoustic guitar whose chords hit you very hard.

Been in a thoughtful mood lately. Life - what of it? Doesn't it bother anyone that if there is no life after death, then that's it? Most of us live boring insigificant lives, and then that's it, zip, kaputski, you're gone and that's it. How utterly random. I don't like that, because it trivialises life, and to me at least, there doesn't seem to be a concept of a meaning to life if it's just 'random' and we need to deal with it. If that's the case, I can't be grateful to be alive. I'd rather just never have existed in the first place. That's a lot easier on the psyche! Oh god, what if it is random? That thought just petrifies me.

I don't understand what it is with the rise of trolls in the internet realm. Is it the anonymity? Is it that people are getting too disconnected from other people and they need to lash out?

Wondering what tonight brings? More questions? More confusion? More anxiety? I really do wonder what's going on. It all seems very odd.  Am I going backwards?  What's all this time for?

Anyway, that's it for today.

Joaquin out.