The Story Of Y

This utterly infuriating woman. Smart, headstrong, stubborn, insecure. I'm sitting here with my beanie, t-shirt, jumper and jacket and scarf on, but it's thoughts of her that is actually keeping me warm. I know a fair bit about her past, but not enough, because I wanted to know all there was to know about her. Part of me is glad that she's gone, but it is also equal other parts sad that she is. Was she a bad girl? Getting careless with a delicate man? Maybe, and I knew it, but beneath she was all gold.

Maybe it was because how I liked the way we looked together between the sheets? We are matched in so many ways. It's like it was perfect.

Perfect enough to get in the way of her 10 year relationship with her live-in partner. I didn't care. I didn't care how wrong it seemed, or even how wrong it felt at times, because I did feel the guilt. But I loved her. I love her.

It is true, you haven't really been in love until you've felt the urge to just wrap your hands around that person's neck and squeeze for all you're worth. And I didn't think love like this was possible.

From your J.

There's much more to say. Just, not right now.

Joaquin out.