Achtung, Boys!

Hahahaha, double, if not triple reference there!  Sometimes I just crack myself up.  Yeah, apologies for the lack of posts since Saturday.  I have been super sick.  I actually got worse over the weekend.  I actually ended up missing some of work this week to stay home and recover.  I'm still not 100% but I can at least work.  What's sad is that I came in to work today and after about an hour I had pretty much done everything I needed to!  What the hell?!  And I had like 30 new e-mails when I came in - most of it pointless and irrelevant crap.  Ahhh!  What on Earth is going on!

It's just a bit of a cold, but I haven't been able to go to the gym.  I just spent the time at home downing paracetamol and vitamin pills and pigging out like a mofo.  I actually feel sluggish and heavy, hahah!  Oh well,  I'll give the gym a skip until next week.  Then get back into things that way.  The paracetamol has been wreaking havoc on my stomach.  That stuff is not good for you at all.  What do you do when the cure is worse than the disease?  I'm sure that's a song lyric, but I can't recall where from.

How technology changes things!  From just 2008 we got inundated with lots of comments (and page hits) from people seeking out a particular song that was featured in Scrubs (with the lyrics "i'm all dressed in blue and remembering you").  The other knew the song and referenced it in a post and it attracted a lot of people.  But just a few years later, things like smart phones with their shazams and their soundhounds, and even google's near algorithms have improved, so that people wouldn't have to come here anymore to get that sort of information. 

But my forced sabbatical was interesting.  I spent most of the time sleeping and playing Real Racing 3.  I think I'm addicted to that game.  It's annoying because there are so many time barriers built into it!  I've really gotta stop playing it and get back to Instagramming.  My goal is to catch up on all the old photos of people that I follow.  When you follow about 100 people, it gets a bit harder.  I'm not one of those who can follow 1,000 people and just scroll through my feed and like stuff as it pops out.  I prefer to have a feed full of stuff that I like, even if it's smaller.  And it'll be nice to catch up!  I'm just one of those people who can't leave things incomplete!

I also managed to watch Date Night and The Avengers while I was sick.  Not bad at all!  Very enjoyable flicks, but I thought The Avengers was overrated.  The first iron man film was far superior.  I didn't play any other games and I didn't even get on the computer.

Now that I've returned to work, other people are also back from long term leave and I realise I should have made more of the opportunity to get out and do things!  Can't do what I did before, even if there's nothing to do.

The problem is independence.  When you're tied to others, freedom takes on a whole other meaning.  Problems remain problems, and you can search for the remainder of your natural life, but solutions are nigh on impossible to come by.

Blog readership is up considerably over this month, and I'm quite happy with that.  I don't think this month was better compared to previous months this year, but I guess we have seen a sort of return to pseudo-intellectual discussion in amongst all the anarchy inside my (our) mind. 

Ahhh I just wanna sit on a wifi connection and like pics on instagram!  Nothing more!  It's sunny outside, but I refuse to believe it is warm.  It's all an artificial world.

3 more hours of this crap?  Oh man!  Looks like it's just replacing one thing with another. 

And there are many things still left unsaid.  And at night they bay and they bay, again and again. 

I was reading that World War Z received poor reviews because it was so vastly different to the book, which I had read was very well received.  And I think that is partly what is wrong with the film industry.  Prices are high for the same experience as previously, but now producers and studios actively seek to market films to audiences.  Instead of staying true to source material, things will be altered to make it more palatable to viewers who will see a flick just cause Brad Pitt is in it, despite his atrocious acting skills.  They don't market films to people who just love movies.  There's no justice in that, and they will of course fail, and deservedly so.

Read this morning that Bradley Manning has thankfully escaped most of his trumped up charges.  Unfortunately he has still been found guilty on a few counts, and can still go to prison for a very long time.  And for what?  Telling the truth?  Exposing war crimes?  This is sick.  It's a disgrace on the United States that things like this could occur, where whistleblowing is treated in such a manner.  Then again of course they wouldn't want their dirty little secrets out in public like this.  Disgusting, truly.  He should be completely exonerated, or some recognition of his existing time in captivity and be immediately released.  Time will prove him right.  This sort of stuff should not be kept from the public.  But ergo, we as humans keep making the same mistakes. 

Heading off interstate for an overnight trip next week.  Hoping to get well before then because it's going to be tough!  What I don't get is the idea for record companies to have to re-release artists first albums.  It just goes to show that they aren't promoting people properly.  If there's a good song and the album takes off, companies will re-release it later, under the guise of another debut, but that's just crap.  It's a money making exercise, sometimes with some b-sides or outtakes added to make it seem like it's new.  If they promoted things properly off the bat, good songs would get the traction they require and albums would actually sell.  Just goes to show that people don't know what they're doing.

Ahh, one hour to go, I can do this!!

But I better call it for today folks.

Joaquin out.

Drought In The Adriatic

I'm sure at one point that statement was true.  It just has to be, right?  Over the terms of the life of the planet and evolution, there had to be a drought there at some point.  Who knows?  There could be one in the future, however long that may last.  Woke up this morning and was still feeling pretty sick.  If I had a say in the matter, I would have just stayed in bed and tried to rest.  But here I am, at work, and not loving it!  I am not loving it!!

So where did the lustre just fade away?  When did it start rotting?  I've gotta get out of here.  This.  I need out.  This is all just killing me.  Every damn day is just contributing to the monotony of it all.  Where did my life go?  All just going down the drain.  I read a horrible onion article the other day, well it was just a still pic with a title, and yes, I know it's satire, but it still scared the crap out of me.  Scared me because it could have been true.  Something about uneventful lives and still being in the same city that you grew up in.  Where are things headed?

Sure, life throws up challenges from time to time, but I think I'm equipped to face them.  I rate myself as being good under pressure.  Can I think on my feet?  I'd hope so.  Or at least I'd like to think I can.  Or things can always be overstated.  Have I ever given 100% effort?  I don't believe so.  But I should. 

What I find strange is despite having had personal e-mail for a long time, the longer I've had it, the less actual e-mail I get.  The majority of interactions people seem to have these days appears to be on social media.  What kind of bullshit is that?  Someone you've known for a while tweets you on twitter?  Someone pokes you on facebook?  What kind of shit is that?  We have mobile phones, we can text, and more importantly we can call, and best of all we can still get up and see each other.  No wonder we are all falling apart and feeling more isolated than ever before.

I was struggling to get to sleep last night while I was feeling sick, and for some reason, I came up with a decent idea for today's blog theme.  Women as objects.  So of course women shouldn't be objectified - they are people, and the fact I have to mention this is incredibly sad.  But I still have to mention that for those who just don't get it.  So let's talk about the pornography industry.  People say that men are the largest consumers, and that's definitely true.  To get female performers to entertain, they are usually drugged up or exploited, but they are also paid (sometimes ridiculous amounts) to do this.  So the line goes that this sort of stuff dehumanises women and exploitation by men is the primary reason for this.  But let's look at the marketplace - if money is being offered, then people will be found who need it, because we live in a capitalist society where money can be offered for almost anything these days.  If there was no demand for pornography, or if men would stop paying for it, then it would disappear.  Right?  Right??  Then explain tumblr to me.  There are so many girls on there flaunting themselves all over the place, and you can identify them.  There's no money involved, they do it because they like it.  There's a bigger question of exhibitionism and validation.  Girls/women will continue to do it regardless, so can you really say that women are being exploited or dehumanised when you take out the exploitation factor of drugs and money or violence?  Most of the time they're educated people just looking for another outlet to express themselves.  Explain it to me!  Cause that flies in the face of the other evidence being provided.

Is this all just delusional hubris?  Isn't hubris by its very definition delusional?  That's an interesting question.  Goddamn, my 3G is acting up once again.  Thanks Optus, you fucking incompetent motherfuckers! 

Been looking at jobs in other sectors cause I'm just a bit over it.  A change of scenery would be nice.  But there are some absolutely insane recruitment processes out there for places like consulting firms - Boston Consulting Group (BCG), I'm looking squarely in your direction!  Ahh, only 90 minutes to go until I'm out of here, that should be good.

Still not feeling well, but lunch was ok, so that was good.  Hmmm, I've got some work to do over time.  I'll see if I can get to it this afternoon, or maybe I'll leave it until next week.

Hmmm but with only an hour to go until I'm out of here, it's looking pretty doubtful! 

Might as well keep it there.

Take care folks.

Joaquin out.

Cigarettes & Aftershave

What a weird combo that is.  But it's what I got this morning when I got into the lift at work.  I wonder if any kids out there are used to that?  I recall Josie Alibrandi saying that her father smelled like that and she found it comforting.  Ahh Looking for Alibrandi, it was such a good movie (I never read the book).  Too bad it's all about bad memories now. 

As you may have guessed, I took yesterday off cause I was sick.  I came back to work today and I had 30 new e-mails awaiting me!  What the hell?!  Can't people do work on their own?  Nobody here is independent!  Ahh, I'm still not 100%.  My nose has cleared up, but my throat is still sore as anything.

How many awkward conversations are we going to have about my future?  Do I even have one?  It's all a moot point anyway.

I've been getting into The Oatmeal, which has some really sharp commentary in it.  Now I know where most of those tumblr comics are coming from!

2 more hours of this crap?!  Oh man!  How am I going to cope?  I've got absolutely nothing to write about.  My mind is blank.  At least I'm supposed to be having lunch with hmmm...I've forgotten her alias that I used on here, but it might have been L-Tom, tomorrow.  It'll be nice to break up the monotony of the week.

I've got a craving for pho, and to see Anj.  That would be nice for my current ailments.  But I think tomorrow's lunch will be rice paper rolls.  Haven't had those in a long time. 

Got so many things backed up on my Amazon wishlist.  I should just buy some things already, but just been burning through money lately and been silly due to the actions of other people.  I wonder how long Amazon takes to ship to Australia?  At least it's only an hour to go until I'm out of here.  I'm starting to feel a little bit worse.  In fact, I'm starting to feel really cold and sick.  Blergh.

Only 40 minutes to go!  I can do this! 

Let's call it a day, ok!

Joaquin out.

Sick, So Sick Sick Sick

Blergh.

I guess it all caught up to me and this morning I woke up feeling like shit.  I got up, took a leak, and just went the fuck back to bed.  E-mailed work and said I wouldn't be coming in.  Slept like a mofo.

So it's a brutally irritated and sore throat and a runny nose.  Hopefully it'll go away after today's rest, but we'll see what tomorrow brings.

Seems like everyone is sick lately.  And it's cause of other people, goddamn it, spreading diseases around like it's a trend.  If I was able to stay home and just keep up with the routine, I would have been fine.  But yeah, I'm not in control of my life anymore, and it's going to wind up killing me.  But hey, that's just the way it issssss, nanananana things will never changeeeee, hahaha!

I'm just gonna play guitar and stay warm.

Fuck this day.

Hope everyone else is doing well.

Joaquin out.

Dreaming Of Sleeping

Yes, it actually happened last night.  Then again, looking back I've realised that I've had a few dreams where I've dreamt of being asleep.  Yes, I actually had a dream within a dream!  It was almost inception!  You know things are bad when you have to dream about sleep.  It just shows that I'm not sleeping properly.  Despite going to bed early, it was disturbed sleep and I was awoken in the morning by people having loud conversations.  Not cool.  On top of that, I'm starting to feel really sick.  Like on the cusp of being biblically ill.  I woke up with massive stomach pains and now my throat is all itchy, like I'm about to come down with something.  I should have stayed at home, but since I took Friday off already, I don't think I can.  Ahh, it's all just a bit too much.  It doesn't help that it's so damn cold over at my desk.  I wonder what dreaming about sleeping actually means?  Do dreams even mean anything? 

I'm really disgusted by all this media coverage of the birth of the new Royal baby.  For our American readers, I salute you, because I doubt you give a shit, and I'm sure your media hasn't covered it like ours has.  Yes, we're still part of the Commonwealth (i.e. the British empire), but in reality we have no connection to them.  It's these sort of ties, to a dying empire, which is hampering our progress in forming appropriate alliances with Asia.  We are buried in the middle of Asia and it is of great strategic value to be allied to our Asian neighbours.  But people are still married to this concept that we are an outpost for the British, and anything that isn't White-Anglo-Saxon-Protestant (WASP-y) in nature is the 'exotic enemy' and can't be trusted.  But anyway, I digress.  What importance is there of a baby?  Babies are born all the freakin' time, which is why we're here.  In fact, we're having too many babies.  Yes, we are overpopulating the Earth, and it's really going to mess up our future.  People are being told to plan for families and people from third worlds are being told to restrict the amount of children they have.

What a disgusting concept, is child rearing going to become the exclusive domain of white, developed nation, privilege?  The whole thing wreaks of post-colonialism.  Let them breed, yes it's going to cause a massive bane on world resources, but it will be a good test.  If we're going to make things better for the planet, or have to leave and expose other planets to the cancer that is humanity.  Perhaps that's what's needed to jump start innovation?  People survived without money and all these bullshit notions of social media for millenia before this time, and I'm sure they can survive without it.  All these things are all artificial constructs that we created to elevate some and subjugate the rest.

Haha, there I go, I went off another tangent!  Ok, the main point I was trying to make here was that this concept seems to be pushed forward by tabloids and gossip rags that cater more to females.  Why is that?  I think despite all this new wave feminism, there's still a sick fantasy in every woman's mind about meeting a prince and becoming his princess.  It taps into really messed up desires of attaining wealth, power and prestige without having to work for it.  You just marry into it and attain the titles and everything else that comes with that.  And that shit is just not right.

I'm really hoping that the posts of this year are a bit more 'put together' compared to the majority of posts from last year, which I'm sure were stream of consciousness and probably don't even make sense.  But I don't really recall what I wrote.  Perhaps when I get to the blog intro/retrospective next year - 10 years!  Sheeeeit!  That's just lunacy.  I still remember when the other invited me into this and I had no idea what a blog was.  But I took to it, damn it! 

Got into work at 8:40 this morning and all I could think of was goddamn.  I spoke to the other last night about our lives, and he quoted Trent Reznor who said he can see into the future because he lives with so much routine.  My jaw dropped because I knew exactly what he was on about.

Ahh, it's such a relief to get a major piece of work out of the way, isn't it?  But I'm still keeping up with the smaller bits too.

Hmmm, I'd better leave it there for now.  This has been constructive.

Take care.

Joaquin out.

Upended Dependibility

So what do you do when you can't depend on anyone?  Absolutely nobody in your life is worth depending on.  Or is it all just me?  It's oh so quiet, way too quiet.

I'm just over it, over everything.  It hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday in the shower.  I'm just done, I'm over it.  Is it just this over and over until I die?  What a waste, it's so terrible.  Time is looping and I'm back to square one, and I'm sick of it.  I'm also tired as hell. 

I've got work to do, I'm just feeling unmotivated and uninspired.  But I'll get to it, cause otherwise it's not gonna be good!

There's too much vaguebooking.  I really don't like it, I tend to avoid social media when I'm feeling a bit meh-y, I tend to do all my ranting on here, cause I like it.  And this stuff is definitely never vague. 

I can now remember when I first became disillusioned with life.  It was in primary school when I would have been no older than 6.  I was doing work in an art room in the side of the class, and a sticker on the window said 'SOS save our schools'.  Everything seemed so dank, and I recall asking myself if anyone can amount to anything if they come from such circumstances?  It harks back to questions of whether the apple really falls far from the tree, and your life depends on where you initially start out.  Who knows?  My life is changing, and it's disappearing before my very eyes.

Let's call this one for now.

Joaquin out.

Woah, Where Did That Weekend Go?

Yes, of course I didn't get the chance to blog.

Now I've got a shitload of things to do before I go to bed.

Fuck my life, right?

Things are going on.  And it's all very secretive, I wish I knew what was happening.

But I'm deliberately kept out of the loop.

Oh well, more coming tomorrow.

Joaquin out.

Seeing Things

I am absolutely wrecked today.  I am feeling incredibly tired and I am lacking the motivation to do anything.  That may also include coming up with ideas for today's blog.  Hmmm, not good at all  Especially when you consider there's so many ideas to get excited about.  Ahh the death of an idea.

My head and body are doing weird things.  I guess I'm just super tired.  I'm going places!  Goddamn, it's only 11:30??!  How much more have I got to put up with??  Haha, this is shaping up to be a pretty bad entry.  But that's cool, we've had so much greatness this week, it had to fall apart somewhere.  Nothing lasts forever, does it?  How many questions am I going to ask?

Looks like travel season for work is back in full swing.  It's fake travel though, it's not real.  You can't relax or sightsee, and it's all a bit of a hassle really.  Would be looking forward to watching some plane movies though.  I should also buy some books to keep me occupied. 

Sometimes you just get the weirdest of news at the most random of times.  Is this all about being played?  We will see what happens.  All from right under my nose!! 

Guitaring is going better, but I think I am due for a nail trim already!  Damn, that wasn't that long since the last one. 

It's all just a bit uneasy.  Like a weird stalemate in the midst of heavy fighting.  How do you fix a ruined outfit?  Hmm, gonna need to think about that one.

What in the hell is going on?  Things got crazy busy this afternoon.  Couldn't even focus on my main work cause all this other crazy stuff kept happening.

Anyway I had better stick with it, since I've only got just over an hour and I'm not in tomorrow, so I'll leave it there for now.

Oh also unlikely to blog tomorrow, but I'll try to blog over the weekend while I'm out.  But no promises.

I'm done, take care folks.

Joaquin out.

The Nature Of Existence

Is a mystery to me.  I mean we are born into this life, through no choice of our own, into circumstances none of us have any control over.  And then we're just expected to fend for ourselves and struggle everyday, to enjoy things if we ever get the opportunity, and then just one day, it's all over.  That's it.  How arbitrary.  How random.  I will never understand it.  And instead of pondering the bigger questions out there, we shuffle about our boring meaningless lives.  There's so much injustice in the world, there's so much unfairness, yet nobody is doing anything about it.  Some people get it so good, yet others have it so bad.  Nobody seems to care.  It will just never make sense to me. 

I am particularly enthused by the e-mails that twitter sends out, saying that they can catch me up on this week's tweets.  What hilarity!  Twitter is only as big as you make it, and I only follow about 60 people, who thankfully don't tweet that often.  So I can always read all the posts within 5 minutes or so, and I do check it every day!  How come twitter doesn't know that?  Their systems should be integrated.  Ahh, ever since I unfollowed a bunch of people on twitter and tumblr, life is much easier.  It doesn't take so long to check social media everyday, and I can get on with everything else. 

Got into some guitarage last night and I thoroughly enjoyed it.  Fixed up a few ideas I had in the pipeline, and I'm feeling very motivated.  However, I am feeling incredibly tired and drained right now.  Probably had something to do with the fact I had to do weights two days in a row and couldn't warm up because the cardio room was locked up.  It might even turn into three days with tomorrow's workout!  Damn, not having nearly enough protein for this crap!  But seriously, I am mega exhausted.  It feels like a Friday, and it's only Wednesday, goddamn.  Well at least tomorrow is my last day.

I was reading today that the minimum wage in America is $7.25 per hour.  Holy crap, that is ridiculous.  How are people expected to survive on that sort of money?  It's disgusting, especially in a developed nation.  But I guess America is the nation of Corporations where company executives and shareholders can get away with whatever.  They get rich off the back of the underpaid worker, and conservatives will get uppity and say they should be allowed to do this.  Unless you're working 2-3 jobs, I think it's impossible to survive, and they wonder why people are so down on things.  It's not right.  People have to rise up, and people have a bad reaction when things like the Occupy movement come into the picture.  It's not about getting things that people haven't 'worked' for, because they have, it's just that the rewards have not been equally distributed.

Another wet, cold and dreary day here.  Surprise surprise.  I've got work to do, but can I really be assed?  Haha that's a question that's open for debate.  The evenings have been relatively quiet and productive, I've been enjoying it.  But what I really need is some time to just sit on a wifi connection and go through my instagram follow list and delete people.  After that, I can relax!

Is there anything I can rant about today?  I can't really think of anything.  Haha, I guess it's been a productive blogging week, and it's only Wednesday.  Hopefully the rest of the week can be just as productive. 

Can I just say that I'm really enjoying my new socks?  I bought some thick socks just as winter set in, and my feet feel like a million bucks.  Everything is just so warm and snug down there.  Light years better than my regular socks.

When you think about it, the probability of life is so low, it's just a massive wonder (or fluke) how it could have happened.  The Big Bang, for some incredible reason.  Matter to form as it did, and for all the energy and dark energy to give shape to the universe and ensure all its atoms functioned appropriately.  Then for the stars to form as they did, and for dust and other fragments to combine together and create planets.  For everything to just shoot out, spinning along and colliding, and for various galaxies and solar systems to form.  Then for water and an atmosphere to form on Earth, slowly.  And for life to suddenly spring forth, and for evolution to shape its way over millions of years.  For humans to evolve from apes, for civilisation to take its course.  For your parents to meet and make you.  It's all just a bit...unfathomable, don't you think?  There's just so much about the universe we don't know.  I wish I was born in the future, just so we knew a little bit more about what's around us and how things came to be.  I really hope we can find those answers.  But right now, with all we think we know, we're still just groping blindly in the dark, fumbling hopefully for the truth.  As I've said before, I would really love for everyone to be imbuded with truth after death.  I want to know the mysteries of everything that's ever happened in the world.

Ahhh and there we go again, crazy ass day.  Ate too much food, and was distracted with a lot of other work so I couldn't focus on my main task at hand.  Oh well, there's always tomorrow.

At least there's only 18 minutes to go until I get out of here, and tomorrow is my "Friday"!  Yeahhh, game on, buddy!

That's it for now, take care folks.

Joaquin out.

Rostruming Posturing

And other slight turns of phrase.  It's an oddly mild day here, despite it being winter.  I'm feeling good though.  Much better than yesterday, at least.  On that particular point, I wonder whether it's true that most of the time if you're stuck in an embarrassing situation, you'll be the only person who remembers it?  Who knows, but I guess it's food for thought.


So I finally got around to unfollowing a number of people on tumblr and twitter and I'm already feeling much better!  Less crap to get through = more time for me.  You don't know what a relief that is.  There's so much information that we're bombarded with everyday, yet most of it is entirely irrelevant.  You have to limit things down to the relevant information, that way you're left with enough time to do the things you actually enjoy.  I read that people are spending up to an hour a day on facebook, and it's really eating into people's time.  What in the hell?!  That's sooooo ridiculous!  I'd be lucky to even log 10 mins a day on facebook, even over the weekend.  Most of the crap on there is inane dribble that nobody needs to waste their time on. 

That being said, I had a difficult time getting into guitar last night.  Things just aren't going well.  I'm playing well, but I'm just not covering as many tracks as I'd like to in an evening.  Perhaps some inspiration and a new way of going about things is needed.  Maybe I'm stuck in a bit of a playing rut.

Curse people who send weird e-mails and texts without explanation!

The other day I decided I needed a bit of time for myself.  So for the first time ever, I went and saw a movie by myself.  It was Pacific Rim - I highly enjoyed it.  Go check it out if you have the opportunity, I think it has something for everybody.

For the first time in a while I recall a dream.  I was at home on the top floor when I looked outside and the entire landscape was different, so mountainous but it was all flooded and the waters were raging and climbing.  It was like a scene out of day after tomorrow.  Then all of a sudden I was in a high rise apartment and the waves were getting even more insane.  Things were not boding well, then I slowly woke up.  It's good to dream I guess, even if things are a little nuts.

I've got a bit more stuff to get through today, so let's see what happens throughout the day!

I have a first world virtual problem.  I used to follow underligste (aka otoni) on tumblr.  She's a model of the ummm, let's just say morally ambiguous variety?  Anyhow, I really liked the way she looked, and she was just engaging in a spot of rampant capitalism in asking people to contribute to giving her money and gifts and what not.  I guess that's fine.  But eventually, things got a bit more sinister when she stated to espouse views that were definitely right wing extremist, to the point of overt racism.  She's scandinavian, so I wanted to refrain from generalising, because I am certain not everyone from that area is as stupid as she is.  When she was called out on it, she went incredibly defensive and turned it up to even more crazy, so I unfollowed her.  Now I'm wondering whether I should follow her again, but she's crazy!!  Ahh battle of the brain and the nether-regions!  The eternal struggle, hahaha!

What I'm really concerned about is this idea in Western nations now that people don't owe anything for injustices of the past.  This is especially true in a lot of conservative thinking where people say "all this bad stuff happened in the past, it has nothing to do with me, so I shouldn't be sorry".  And therein lies the problem.  People don't want to take responsibility for the injustices of the past, whether it be in relation to the mistreatment of indigenous people, or things like slavery.  The hurt and pain does not dissipate in one generation, it is passed on, as these injustices tend to grow and be fostered as time wears on.  You can't expect people to overcome things like this overnight or to 'just get over it'.  If your land was stolen and your people killed, do you think you would just 'get over it'?  Yeah, I'd think not.  Where's the responsibility?  Where's the motivation to do better?

Oh what a weird moment of temporal dissonance!  I was just in a meeting and then came out and I could have sworn it was 11am and time for a snack.  So I ate and read some news, then I looked at the clock and it was only 10:15am!  Haha damn, I ate too early, not good!!  Haha now it's thrown everything off kilter.

Hahah so I just went to a little training workshop at work and some lady was leading it and she let me use her computer.  Then I realised she was logged on as herself, and not under a generic username.  HELLO PERSONAL E-MAILS!  Hahaha, whenever she walked off or was speaking to someone, I was going through her e-mails.  Damn, people talk about theeeeeeeee most boring shit.  Diets, parties, going out.  Groannnnnn.

Ok, goddamn!  It almost killed me, but I finally finished part 2 of theJoaquin Rate List (JRL).  It's possibly the biggest update so far, so enjoy!  Some names have been deleted, others have been added.  Has your favourite survived?  Who knows!  Best to check it out and see.  Unless there is suddenly an influx of unknown hotties, I'm also expecting this to be the last update to the JRL for some time.  But we will see!  Never give up, hahaha!  It's a never ending battle, I tells ya!

Ahh it's raining and I don't have my umbrella, crap!  I should have known better!!  Hopefully it'll clear up in the 3 hours to go before I have to go home. 

And with that, I think I have completely run out of things to say for today.  Ahh, but I still have 40 minutes to go and my brain is drained!  I can't work!

Woah, just looking back on this post, it's a monster blog.  But that's good, haven't had a good run of those for quite some time.  It makes me happy!

But this has probably been a hell of a post.  I might as well leave it there.  Got Friday off work, woohoo!!  Now to figure out what to do with my time.

Take care folks.


Joaquin out.

It's Time For Convergence

Already?  It is far too soon.  Everything comes together, but not in the ways we expect.  I am not sure if I'm even taken seriously here.  If memories of someone else are there, am I counted by proxy?  Or have I been forgotten?  I'm not sure, but things cannot be going well.  Are people still that silly?  Are people still that foolish?  What I learned in uni appears to be coming true, especially in my own life.  Who would have thought it?  I wonder if the same mistakes are being repeated. 

The weekend must have screwed me up big time.  I slept like I was getting ready for a morning exam.  Everything was fine when I first went to bed early, but then I woke up about 90 minutes later and I could not go back to sleep.  Not just that, I found myself having to go to the bathroom out of nowhere!  Way to go body, you let me down well.  It was EXACTLY like my morning exams for uni.  Sleep well and early, thinking everything will be ok, but then magically you wake up later, and you toss and turn the whole night and then before you know it, it's time to get up and you're absolutely wrecked for your exam!  Haha, good times!  I'm still not feeling 100%.

In another sign of my body failing me, I got on the bus this morning and it was packed and I had to sit facing everyone else.  Then despite it being absolutely freezing cold, I started sweating like a mofo out of nowhere and my face was drenched.  This was not good.  I had no handkerchief, no tissue or anything like that.  I knew it was happening and I had no idea why, it was just batshit insane.  Then I looked up and realised everyone was looking at me and wondering what the hell was going on.  I knew it.  I was practically drowning in my own sweat and it was utterly humiliating.  I don't know why it was happening.  I was cold, and I'm not sick, it makes no sense that I should be sweating like that.  And just on my head.  Goddamn.  Never catching that bus again, I don't think I could put up with that sort of insanity again.  Ahh, embarrassing moments, you can go to hell, I'm too old for this shit.

A walking accident, I shouldn't even be here.

Nobody is on my side.  It is me against the world.  Is there anyone out there who gets me?  Who understands me?  Probably not.  But that's ok.  I recall reading the other putting a post up the other day (not on here), where he said people should probably stop putting everything up on the internet.  I agree to an extent, but I guess that's what makes the internet so great.  It's the repository of almost all the information humanity has ever put together. 

Following too many people on instagram and tumblr.  My feed on tumblr is a massive mess.  Too few people post too much crap!  That's the problem.  They're monopolising everything, with no regard to people's feeds.  People should use the queue feature more often, as I've resorted to doing now and it's made life much easier.  Just because they follow you doesn't mean you should follow them.  Going to go home today and unfollow a whole bunch of people, it'll be good and liberating!

So we've got the verdict back in the George Zimmerman trial (even though people are referring to it as the Trayvon Martin case).  If anyone thought that it was going to be anything other than a not guilty charge to murder, I'd say those people are crazy.  The issue is reasonable doubt.  The defence team did an excellent job of highlighting that without clear evidence of what exactly happened during the fight, you have to take Zimmerman's version of events as gospel.  Things like this will always happen unless you change the burden of proof.  It's irrelevant anyway, because in America black people go to prison on trumped up charges, usually sentenced for manifestly excessive terms and nobody seems to care.  So if you reduce the standard of proof, the same thing is going to continue to happen anyway.  Zimmerman did a stupid thing, yes.  Martin did not deserve to die, and he was just defending himself after Zimmerman accosted him because of his racist beliefs.  How the jury didn't convict on manslaughter at least is beyond me, but I put that down to the 6 woman, all white jury.  Look, it is their perceived worst nightmare, a black man out and about in a predominately white neighbourhood walking freely.  Let's face it, if you're black in America, there is always a cloud of suspicion surrounding you.  Nobody seems to have addressed that.  So when someone questions him, of course they will want to ensure that right is protected.  And therein lies the eternal struggle, the conservatives vs rational people.  Conservatives want to take away rights and treat people unequally to ensure they always come out on top.  They are the worst kind of scum.  So how can you stop something like this happening again?  Don't be the minority.  Minorities around the world in Western nations where false notions of 'justice' seem to be the norm, should just keep having children.  Just outbreed the 'native' population, just as they did to the indigenous members of the land who they stole.  It is karma.  Soon, over time you will be the majority, and through a sheer numbers game you can get into positions of power and the balance of things will slowly turn.  It's the only way.

Ok I've got work to do today so I'm going to have to keep coming back to things. 

Didn't really get to play a lot of guitar on the weekend.  Despite being home the entire time, I didn't play at all on Friday or Saturday.  Played a little bit last night, but certainly nowhere near enough.

Well that was strange, all of a sudden had a huge influx of work out of nowhere!  Didn't even get to do what I wanted!  But that's cool, I'll have stuff to do this afternoon. 

Alright, got an hour to go before I can get out of hereeeeee!  Yeah!  But I should leave it here so I can get some work done.

But I have been awesome, and I've updated the Joaquin Rate List (JRL), which can be found HERE.  Remember, it's a list of all the women I consider attractive.  This latest update is so big, it's a two parter, so I'll put in more details later, and I'll let you know.

Take care.

Joaquin out.

Wasted Daze

Wasted days, any way you look at it, it's all the same.  The more things change, the more they stay the same.  So what of it?

Feeling very hard to get going this morning.  I've got things to do, but I just can't get to it.  I'm also mega hungry, but I can't eat for another 30 minutes!  Yeah yeah, I know, it's a whitewhine.  I don't just feel tired, I know I look tired.  I'm going to sleep well tonight and for a very long time.  Don't even try to wake me!  No more tumblring for a while, so I'm looking to get my life back.  More guitaring please.  That's all I need.

Pretty annoyed this morning.  Went to the gym and everything was going fine.  My cardio workout is 10 mins cross trainer, 10 mins bike, 10 minute treadmill.  The gym is usualy empty in the mornings, especially Fridays, but today some lady was on one (of two) of the treadmills.  I was on my last minute of the bike when some bitch just walks in and gets on the other treadmill!  Fuck my life!  Seriously?!  Is this really happening?  So I had to find another way to exercise for my last 10 minutes.  What a bitch!  I'd already been there 20 minutes, and this other bitch won't get off the treadmill and some other bitch wakes up later than me, strolls into the gym and just starts walking on the other treadmill?!  Farkk, how analogous to life, right?  People work hard get up early and what not, and wait, and then some other dickwads just don't try, and get the opportunities before you.  That's just not right, but that's the real world and it sucks.

Got an interesting letter from the tax office the other day.  I thought I would be up for the Pay As You Go scheme, for which I received a letter last year.  To put it simply, once your level of income hits a certain amount, you are forced to pre-pay a certain amount, and once you conduct your tax return, you will either have to pay more to make up the amount, or you get refunded some.  I think that's an absolute load of shit, because that money goes towards my investment income, which is income I should be able to freely derive and then they can tax me at the end.  I should be able to use my money as I see fit, otherwise I'm enterting into a pseudo loan system with the tax office.  Why should they be able to claim my money before it falls due?  What if I need those funds for something else urgent?  Regardless, the letter said that I didn't have to enter into the arrangement this year.  Ok, strange!  But if it happens again next year, I'm going to challenge it! 

The film and music industry is dying.  Profits are at a record low, why?  I think it's the consumer fighting back.  For decades we've put up with rising costs of records/albums and movies and the consumer is sick of it.  When so much music and so many films are released each year, how can someone be expected to pay full retail price for that sort of thing?  $30 AUD for a record of 10 tracks?  $20 for a movie?!  Get lost!  People won't stand for that shit, especially cause it'll all add up over time.  Factor in that the big name movie stars and musicians are so overpaid, and that creates a feeling of resentment in the average person.  So if the person has the opportunity to download something for free over paying those outrageous amounts, what do you think they're going to do?  It feels so normal that it doesn't even feel illegal.  Ahh free market capitalism, overcoming price gouging like a mofo!  Let those industries die and let the real artists shine.  Society will prop them up.  We're just too oversaturated with mediocrity at the moment to even care.  And that just leads to bigger issues.  People don't care about Government spying on its own people because as long as there is fear, they will always give in.  As long as there's a sale on crap they don't need, they will continue to ignore the things that actually matter.

I don't know if I've mentioned that I've got chillblains on my toes and fingers.  It really sucks cause they're painful and so swollen.  Can't do anything about it except manage the pain, because it comes and goes, regardless of what sort of temperature my limbs are exposed to.

Don't worry, I've got things to do and I'm slowly getting through them!  I'm really concerned that people aren't more upset with this whole NSA spying thing.  Too many people say it's just a consequence of the times we live in.  What apathy!  That is the kind of crap that's going to lead us into an undemocratic, utilitarian society.

So I was wrong, but not completely wrong.  What I have next week will be the most I ever have.   And then that's it!  All over, all gone.  How does one solve a problem like that?  Surely I'm over analysing things, but it's better to be cautious than risk taking. 

Weekend plans?  None.  Nothing whatsoever.  But that's ok, I can just wait and let life fade away.  Then I'm gone.  As we all will be.

And that's just how things are.

Take care.

Joaquin out.

Creme de La Creme

And the poo de la poo.  Why did we even have to sit through that session?  It was surely an odd experience.  All I remember was the strangeness of it all.  Was there any underlying lesson there?  Who was that guy?  I wonder what happened to him?  It's been almost 20 years.  Hmmm...questions questions.  But certainly no answers.

I'm feeling worse today than I did yesterday.  Sleeping was a bitch, probably because it was so cold.  But I still struggled on and made it to the gym this morning.  Weights were a pain, and I'm feeling a lot of muscle fatigue, not to mention how chopped up my hands are.  They're all red and rubbed raw from the weights.  That doesn't matter though, it doesn't really impact my playing.  Got in some decent time with the 6 string last night which I'm very happy about.  Playing very crisply.  But I'd still like more time to just playyyyy.  Jam and learn more of my own stuff.  My memory has gotten a lot better, but there are still some gaps that need to be worked on.  Too many chords in my songs, that's the problem!

I'm very keen to see Pacific Rim.  It looks like a film that's right up my alley.  But I've got no time after work.  Soooo that brings up the question, should I skive from work to go and see it?  I've never seen a film by myself, is it too late to start now?  It's also 2 and a half hours away from my desk, could I get away with it??  Hmmm very seriously contemplating it, since it just came out today.  But the problem is that I'm still sleepy.  What if I fall asleep in the film?  That's very bad. 

Ahh, there are just too many hypocrites.  It's all a wonder how any of this could still be happening.  What's going on with my body?  I'm just getting older, everything is sore and I'm just tired all the time.  Get me a bed and let me just sleep for two days straight with no goddamn interruptions.  Is that too much to ask?  I've also instigated operation minimise tumblr.  I've booked up a lot of things in my queue and then after that I'm just going to stick with reblogging things.  No need for any more original content.  No big deal.  Focus on this, cause this is what I love!

Yes, I'll make the effort to get some work done today.  I did a fair bit yesterday, but I'll aim to get more done today.

One important lesson: don't laugh your ass off when the holy man is speaking.  Hahaha, oh man I remember a long time ago Mish, his bro and I were at some house and some guy was going on a rant and then was talking about breastfeeding and accompanied it with suckling noises.  Mish and I both lost our shit and we laughed hysterically in a room full of conservative types.  I couldn't help it.  Not my fault, it was hilarious!  Mish's bro kept a straight face, and to this day I'll never know how he managed to do so.  I have actually run into Mish a few times over the past few weeks.  That's pretty random!  But I've always been busy or on the phone so I haven't been able to stop and chat.  But then again, that punk borrowed my Need For Speed 2 on Playstation - which was a gift from my grandmother, and he never returned it!  Dude, it's been like 15 years!!!  Not cool!  No time for you!

Ran into Rossco the other day in the lift.  It was comedy gold to see the blood run from his face when he saw me.  Hahaha I'm glad you got uncomfortable!!  Punk bitch.

Hmmm, what is there to blog about today?  Let's touch upon the Trayvon Martin case.  It is hard to ignore the racial overtones of the matter, but I'm going to try just that.  What I don't get is that people seem to think it's ok to pursue someone who had done nothing wrong and then get into an altercation to kill them?  It doesn't matter if Martin was the aggressor, Zimmerman obviously provoked him by chasing him down and accusing him of something.  That's just not right, and Zimmerman should be punished for that.  Whether it was cold blooded murder or something like that is another point entirely.

May need to finish early today.  But it's still going to be a long day.  I'm in the mood for sushi for some reason.  Haven't had it in a while.  That and rice paper rolls, or pho!  Mmmm, delish!  Just sitting here typing away aimlessly on my work.  Man I really dislike it when people say to get something done urgently.  That I don't mind so much - people having their doors shut and busy with other things when you've finished the 'urgent' work is what pisses me off!  Because it makes it look like you're the one holding the ball!!  Blah! 

Ever since I have started using more of Instagram, I've really noticed a massive number of teen girls who like to post selfies.  Some of the time they're innocent enough, but I've really gotta say that most of the time they're not.  There's always an undercurrent of something else, whether it's skimpy clothing, or revealing angles and what not, it's all a bit much.  Don't get me wrong, guys do it too, but usually to just show off.  Girls seem to be chasing 'likes' and the more the better.  The skimpier outfits get the most likes, and it's all really grose.  How can self esteem by tied to the number of likes you get for a photo?  It says nothing about you.  It speaks more about the vacuous nature of artificial friendships.  But I've also noticed that girls tend to obsessively check facebook and instagram numerous times a day and don't really focus on stories unless they're tagged.  They look at photos.  Photos of other girls to conduct their same judgement activities and it's utterly fascinating to watch.  Just watch how they scroll through their feeds and look at where they tend to hover the most over - it'll be pictures of other girls.  A judgement call is made, a review of likes is made.  On to the next one.  Yeah 21st century new wave feminism kicks ass, doesn't it?

Alright, I'd better keep it there for now.  More tomorrow!

Joaquin out.

Blistering Cove

All just seems so desolate now.  Everything becomes grey and cold.  Lifeless almost, as the winter chills you right to your bones.  Didn't really get to sleep much last night, again!  But this time it wasn't my fault.  I wasn't able to get to bed on time.  Just doing chores.  Wasting my life, and thus the cycle continues.  Sometimes it all gets a bit too much, you know.  But at least I was able to get some guitaring in.  Playing well.  My dexterity is getting better.  Perhaps I'm getting ever closer to matching my skills in uni when I was playing 8-12 hours a day and was doing absolutely insane things.  Tonight I will sleep on time.  I will get my extra hour.

I particularly enjoyed today's what if from xkcd, it highlights that water, that which gives us life is also what separates us.  You take away the Ocean, and you can see that we're all connected.  We're all the same.  How utterly tragic for the human condition.

I've made a conscious decision to use tumblr a lot less.  Well in the sense of posting less on there, as opposed to here.  I've got about 1,000 posts on there, and that's catching up (almost) to blogging output here, and that's not right, especially considering how many years we've been on here.  It'll be 10 years next year.  And I've only been on tumblr for just over a year.  It's wrong!  But I guess it's easier to reblog pages and pages of crap on there, as opposed to having so sit here and actually type things out.

The blog is text heavy, I get that, but that's how I best express myself.  Nothing by way of pictures and what not because I don't take many shots.  But you will be rewarded in other ways!  Hmm, I should do my best to get some work out of the way today, or else this entire week is going to be a complete write-off.

What a mockery of existence.  I could have been anything.  A tree, a bug, or even nothing.  Yet here I am as a human.  What greatness, what triumph, what tragedy.  Existence - you could be anything, and yet we have the good fortune to come into the world as what we are.  It truly boggles the mind. 

It's hard to get motivated to get things done when you have other things on your mind.  That and I'm so bloody tired!!  I just want to go to sleep.  But I'm slowly getting through stuff.

I'm sure I've mentioned that I will conduct our next blog intro/retrospective next year.  There's no point doing it this year and the next, because it's too soon - I can still remember some of the posts when I do it on an annual basis.  It'll fit in nicely with the 10 year anniversary theme. 

Is there such a thing as a hilarious erection?  Probably not.  But I still had a thriller of a time at lunch just before.  I was probably just incredibly tired but I got one out of nowhere while I was in the mall.  Luckily I was wearing a long coat because I was up and about, but then my ummm junk (hahaha) moved sideways and out of my underwear!  HOW IS THAT even possible?!!  Ahh my underwear is probably too tight.  But glad that ordeal was over.  The horror and hilarity hit me at once and I'm feeling slightly more awake than I was earlier. 

Stupid mindless boring work.  It's a good way to lose hope in humanity!  You know I actually feel better when the blogging output here is much higher than what's on tumblr.  This is where it's at people!!!
Gosh, this day is just dragging on and on!  I've still got over an hour and a half of work to go until I can go home, how annoying! 

Maybe I can make a bit more of an effort if I get some decent rest tonight?  Who knows.  Only half an hour to go.

But I'm going to call it there.

Joaquin out.

The Adventures Of Drymouth and Sock Puppet

Woke up this morning with the worst case of drymouth ever!  Felt like I'd just woken up in the middle of an Arizona desert or something like that.  But was still able to make it out to the gym for a weight session.  It was tough, but not impossible.  My limbs are all hurting which is probably a good sign.  I'm glad I didn't have to lift lighter weights, I was still able to make do at my old levels, which is still pretty high considering how light I am.  Here's to a full week of madness!  I'll be alright.  I need to also learn to start sitting up straight at my desk with both feet firmly planted on the floor.  I have a high desk, and I tend to sit with my feet up and on a hinge under the desk support.  Comfortable, yes, but also probably bad for my overall posture and it's killing my hips.  I was walking weirdly after work yesterday, so I should really put a stop to that.

Had a weird night of no productive sleep again.  I accidentally napped from 8:45 to 9:30 which ruined my evening, and then at bed time I could not sleep for at least 2-3 hours.  I was still able to get up but I am definitely not feeling the love right now.  I don't dream anymore.  I wonder why?  Do you remember when I used to have the most vivid dreams and I was able to still blog about them several hours after having them?  I miss those days.  Because now my nights are just dark and empty and meaningless.

Will make the effort to get some work done today, but not quite yet!  I'm still waking up.  I'll make the effort to get to sleep on time tonight.  As a result, I also missed out on a decent guitar session last night.  That's not good, considering I had not played very much on Sunday, and I didn't play at all on Friday or Saturday!  Not good, have to get into it with ridiculous tenacity!  But in that regard, I did find an absolutely epic chord progression which I think has a load of potential.  Haha, of course I won't be telling you what it is, but it's deceptively simple!  I'm surprised more people haven't thought of it!

I stupidly left my outlook open yesterday, with my blog post open.  Hopefully nobody read it.  Can't be so forgetful. 

Had the best orange juice this morning!  It's perfect when it's just a little bit sour and just a little bit sweet.

I am so freaking cold!  I just want to go back to sleep!!  But I will make a concentrated effort to stop posting so much on tumblr compared to here.  I prefer this by far.  Ok, I've done a bit of work, so I can blog some more, but the question is what is there to blog about??

You'd pay for silence on iTunes wouldn't you?  Just because it's the thing to do. 

Where the hell is everyone today?  Work is empty. 

Ok so I only did a little bit of work today, but I'll turn that around tomorrow.  Thought I might as well make the most of an empty office.  I wonder what my output is?  3,000 words per day?  Not bad, I would have finished a lot of my uni assignments very quickly if I was able to keep that up.  Is this my best stuff?  Am I trying hard enough, or have I already given up? 

Maybe I gave up a little too easily before.  Perhaps it was just the initial stress of being away from home, or joining the workforce?  Who knows?  Would it all have been different?  Who knows?  It could have been worse!  I guess well all end up second guessing decisions and choices we made.  Too bad we can't live it all at once.  Can I go home yet?  This is all just so empty.  Not really feeling the motivation at the moment.

But I'll leave it there for now.

Hopefully it'll get better tomorrow!

Joaquin out.

Crisis Of Faith

It's strange, you know.  Going through a period of athiesm at the moment.  Well maybe not full blown atheism, just a crisis of faith.  Why?  What brought this on?  Well probably crazy crap going on in my life and just recovering.  Maybe it's just a natural part of life, a normal part of adulthood?  And that's scary in itself.  It would be nice to get over it, and to believe in something again.  I would really like that, because sometimes it's all a bit too much.  Can I please have it back?  Cause I'd really like to.  You need to search for meaning in this life.  Maybe I'm just more skeptical than I used to be?

I want to go back overseas.  It was fun to have no obligations and just go out and walk and explore things.  Even vacuous things like going shopping were fun.  Just going to stores and trying on clothes and talking to people was a delight.  Customer service in Australia is so poor.  There's such a massive level of arrogance and elitism with shop assistants, most won't even talk to you and they certainly won't be any help to you.  They think they're better than everyone else, so if they don't want to serve you, nobody is going to buy anything!  And people are wondering why the retail sector is dying here.  It's much easier to get things online, where we can pay cheaper prices to get exactly what we want, delivered to our doors!  No overpaid, self serving, smarmy bastard behind the counter who doesn't know how to do their job.  People in stores in South East Asia and even the Middle East are incredibly friendly and helpful.  They go out of their way to welcome you and help you find what you're looking for.  It was a very different experience to what I'm used to.  It also probably helped that it was incredibly warm.  This winter is brutal.  I'm already developing chillblains on my toes and fingers.

That's another thing I don't get.  Things are ridiculously expensive in Australia.  Even the things manufactured here.  Wages are high, but then the cost of living is also ridiculously high, so when people need to buy houses or cars, they just don't want to, because costs are insane.  But what makes no sense is that electronic items (like software that you can buy online, or MP3s and what not) are also more expensive from official channels like iTunes and so on.  Why is this the case?  It's not about modes of production, because it's not like they need to transport materials to an isolated country, or pay additional overheads and the like.  People are just taking advantage of us, and it's up to the consumer to put a stop to things like that.  Go search for deals and bargains and put those places out of business, or force them to drop their prices to remain competitive.  Vote with your dollars.  Free market capitalism sucks, but at least try and make the system work for you, if you can. 

I am in two minds about work unions.  On one hand they are annoying with their ridiculous demands and constant striking action.  And the fact they take a hardnosed approach to people who aren't members of the union.  On the other hand, they are needed because employers like to exploit workers to extract maximum work for minimum pay and that's just not right.  I wish we didn't require unions, but people's greed always gets in the way. 

Made a proper start to the week and made it to the gym.  Since winter has well and truly hit, I've made it my personal mission to get to bed a bit earlier so I feel fine for the gym the next day.  It was surprisingly easy.  A little too easy, it felt like everything was light weight or in slow motion.  I'll know the extent of the insanity if I get back on the weights tomorrow and everything feels light.  When I don't exercise I drop body weight and strength rapidly, even if I am eating like a pig.  My metabolism has gotten better since I was in my early 20's. 

Insurance is a joke. I don't understand why people would pay all this money to be a 'part' of insurance, and then when something bad happens, you have to pay even more money to ensure that you're looked after?  To me it sounds like people are trying to find a way to leech money of everyone.

Wow, this is a return to form, isn't it?  Wasn't expecting to blog like this, especially on a Monday!  Anyway, I've discovered that the new updates to the Joaquin Rate List (JRL) may be the biggest one so far.  I'll aim to get the names in the list by Friday, or Saturday night at the latest. 

Let's keep it there for now.  More tomorrow!

As always, take care of yourselves!

Joaquin out.

Back Into The Swing Of Things

Can't afford to be lazy anymore.

Delays delays delays.

Fuck it!

Nope, gotta get back into it and get my health back in order.  I've lost strength, I've lost flexibility, I've lost stamina.  Do I still have my fitness?  We'll see.  Back into it tomorrow.

Good to see that some things don't change!  Hmmmmmsies.

Hmmsies indeed!

Anyway, something to tide you over until tomorrow's post.

Joaquin out.

Flopping & Rolling

I've got nothing.  Like literally nothing here!  What am I going to blog about today?

Why is it that people can't identify with people who don't look like them?  Chances are, if you're reading this you're some middle/upper class person doing relatively well financially.  After all, you have a computer/phone with an internet connection and what not.  Does that mean you're less likely to engage with someone who is living in a ghetto in the middle of Lagos, Nigeria?  That makes you a bad person.  Because everyone is human and they feel the same things you do.  Because it really pisses me off when 200 people die in mudslides in South America and nobody cares, but when some little girl from the suburbs loses her dog, everyone feels for her. 

I've really gotta start living a more ascetic lifestyle.  Just got too much shit, too many complications.  Last night I discovered that all my time is going to social media when I get home.  This is lovely because this is only a push style blog.  I publish content and everyone else reads it.  But things like facebook and tumblr and what not are all push/pull, so I have to digest information as I'm posting, which takes ages.  I've gotta be more frugal.  I don't need to be spending my money for no reason.  Just get what I need, not what I want.  There is a key difference there.

Things like the property pages in the papers really pisses me off, too!  They focus on all these prestigious properties that are worth like upwards of $1.5 million!  Who can afford places like that?  People are just being priced right out of the property market, and then there are all these douchebags with bloody property portfolios.  The market is screwed!  I really wish they would impose limits on home ownership.  No investment properties, or at least 1 investment property per adult.  The market would adjust, property prices would tumble and housing would be more affordable.  Real property shouldn't be treated as a tradeable commodity.  That's just my opinion.  You can't really 'own' a piece of the land.  You think houses that people bought in the 1600s mean anything now?  No, of course not.  It's all just artificial.  So who gives a shit about seeing things they can't afford?  It should be about having your own property that you can afford.  But that's probably too radical.  I think we could slow population growth by putting the brakes on unchecked urban development and expansion. 

There was a bit of controversy on television recently, as one of the hosts on Sunrise (a terrible morning breakfast 'news' program) was fired.  It was announced on the show that she was leaving the show to pursue news opportunities, but it has since been revealed that she was fired to make way for another presenter, who focus groups preferred to see, since she appeared funnier and was 'sexier' to the male demographic.  I don't typically watch morning shows because they're excruciating.  No real news content, just misinformed opinions and the continued dumbing down of the audience.  I prefer to eat my cereal in silence at the table in the morning to be more efficient.  Anyway, the person in question was Melissa Doyle, who is in her early 40's, and has been replaced by someone about 8 years younger than her, in Samantha Armytage.  Now I rate Samantha, she used to be reporter on my hometown news, and I liked her face and her curves, so I'm going to have to agree with the focus group testing, haha!  Good times.

Ahhh too long without gyming.  My muscles and strength are all fading away.  Not good!  It's gonna be a bitch going back, but I gotta, or else it'll be gone permanently!

Ok, better leave it there for now.

Joaquin out.

Stop Trying To Think

And getting mired in the trivialities of it all.  I mean, wouldn't you?  Got into work this morning and realised that I have nothing to do today.  Just stuck in meetings for the morning and that's about it.  That's good for you, because that gives me more time to blog about stuff.

Had some fantastic guitarage last night.  Feeling very inspired, and I only played for about 30 minutes!  I long for my uni days where I was playing 12-14 hours per day during holidays.  Those levels of practice can't be substituted for anything.  I can't tell you how much I improved as a player during those sessions.  It's that sort of quantum leap that I need now in my playing.  I can do a few advanced things, but not consistently.  But I'll get there.  Just need to get away from the other things that take up so much time in my life.

Ok, on to other things for now.  Have I blogged about video games?  The fact is that I don't get to play very much anymore, and that's alright.  I wouldn't mind so much if I hadn't spent so much on games that I bought but have hardly played.  On that basis I refuse to buy new things until I get them finished, and since I don't play anymore, my gaming has pretty much gone out the window.  I'm usually only ever playing Chivalry: Medieval Warfare because the 10 minute limit on matches is handy for managing my time, and I love the pick up and play nature of it.  Games like the Grand Theft Auto series and the Total War series take several hours of gameplay to go anywhere.  I just don't have that sory of time anymore.  That's a serious pain in the ass, considering GTA5 is coming out soon, and I really can't wait to enter a larger scale Los Santos and wreak havoc.  GTA SA was one of my favourite games ever.  GTA4 just didn't grab me in quite the same way.  But I need to get through the expansions on The Lost And The Damned and the Ballad of Gay Tony.  They've been ok so far, just wish they'd be over sooner.  Also need to finish Shogun 2 Total War.  I haven't made a lot of progress despite playing for ages.  What annoys me is the sheer scale compared to earlier games - there's just so much to manage that it's impossible to get a foothold and then just steamroll the AI from a strategic perspective.  Everything is a grind.  You win a province, you lose another one.  Hoping Rome 2 Total War is a return to form because Rome was hands down the best game of the series.  I still remember some of my great battles from there!

Also on the idea of video games, there's a lot of research which seems to say that video games cause violence, but there's just as many (if not more) studies which say that it's not the case.  My personal opinion is that video games do not cause violent behaviour, but it does desensitize individuals to violence.  Desensitisation is not exactly the causal relationship that is apparent in saying it causes violent behaviour. 

I was reading an article the other day that Lululemon Athletica (some horrible yoga apparel company) charges approximately $140 for their yoga clothing - obviously appealing to young professional women with disposable incomes.  But the deal is that the majority of their clothing is sourced from textile industry heavy countries such as Bangladesh and Thailand.  Cheap labor, cheap materials, and you can bet your ass that they're not paying their workers standard Western minimum wage.  Then you factor in things such as dangerous working conditions, general exploitation, and it's just a horrible premise.  Remember that building collapse a few months ago?  It's because factories and employers like to cut costs to profit for themselves.  And the winners of this sort of set up are typically richer Western nations who are using capitalism as an excuse to keep operating like this.  Let me tell you, there's a difference between doing the easy thing and the right thing. 

Look, poorer nations are reproducing at levels MUCH faster than developed nations.  What do you think is going to happen in the future?  These people will migrate to other nations, or they will start to demand increases to wages, and the balance of power will turn.  Capitalism would allow that to happen, and there is nothing anyone can say, because that is the system we are taught to believe is right.  The third world will make a comeback, and they will bring everyone to their knees for all this exploitation, murder and pillage.  They won't forget, and nor should they.

Life is a strange beast, is it not?  Who are all these people?  I don't even recognise them.  How things can change.  Plot twist!  Haha, always something to be on the lookout for.  And what of it?  If they're looking, I have to give them something to look at right? 

Man, I should really stop tumblring so much, it's starting to take over the volume of blogging here, and I'm not down with that at all!  This blog has been going for 8 years, 9 years in 2 months!  That's pretty disturbing.  Surely it's one of the older continuously updated blogs on blogger?  It was a great initiative of the other to set up!  We've given at least 20,000 people a good reason to procrastinate.  Not bad, right? 

Ahh, again I'm struggling to stay awake at work, despite having a good night's rest.  I will go to the gym tomorrow.  I promise!  Haha, yes, I slept in again this morning, but it was my choice.  I was up, but I decided to stay in.  If only I stayed in the whole day.

Let's call this one a day, I wonder what tomorrow brings?

Joaquin out.

I Want It All, And I Want It Now

Freddie knew what he was on about.  And I know what he means.  Repeating words and what not, we've got to be responsible for our own lives. 

And what a plot twist it is.  Does the plot thicken?  I'm not even sure what it means, or what could be going on.  Dealing with so many bits of information.  But what's the point when it's literally millions of pieces of information?  If you can't connect the dots, it doesn't mean a goddamn thing. 

So have hit a major milestone wealth wise, and I have figured out that I'm in the top 10% of income earners in the country, and I'd be in the top 7% in the United States.  Not bad for my age, not at all!  But even then, sometimes it's not so easy to get by, and I wonder how other people are getting on, especially those with children to look after.  It's not a fair world, is it?

Sometimes things just don't make sense, no matter how much time you waste sitting there trying to rationalise it. 

It's still utterly freezing, and I didn't make it to the gym again.  That's a bit crappy, considering I was actually up this morning.  Where does my time go at night?  I try to get to bed early, but I'm still late every night.  I'll change that from tomorrow onwards.  Will start making an effort. 

Was reading an interesting article online today that people are throwing around the term 'post racial' in places like the United States.  Apparently since there's a 'black president' (which isn't even true, he's biracial - how can he be black more than he's white?  It's assuming that if you have any form of ethnicity other than white, you are automatically that ethnicity.  Also leads to uncomfortable assumptions that 'whiteness' is more 'pure'), racism is no longer a 'thing'.  Apparently everything is all sorted!  Well that's great!  400 years of discrimination and fear just ended overnight apparently.  But that's the thing, it's never been addressed!  Wounds are still festering and nobody wants to talk openly about it.  Then you get stupid shit like news sites running interviews on whether "nigger" is worse than "cracker".  God help you.  White people don't get discriminated against in white countries!  You can't claim otherwise, and if you think that's true, you're naive and stupid.  Things will never move forward until amends are made.

I managed to fix up an issue I've been having with my computer and the speakers.  For some silly reason, my speakers would need to be reloaded through the soundcard every time I started up my computer, and it got really annoying.  Then I found out that I had plugged in my front speakers (I use a 5.1 setup) into the wrong port on my soundcard.  I've been doing this for about a year and a half!  Hahaha, how terrible!!!  How embarrassing.  It's not the first time I've been embarrassed when its come to computer related stuff.  Well at least it's all sorted now. 

I've got a feeling that I need a filling for my tooth.  Whenever I have something sweet, my tooth gets really painful!  Ahhh, back to the good old days of fillings.  It'll probably be my third one.  My own fault really. 

And what do you do when opportunities present themselves?  All cloaked under shadows and darkness.  Something is very askew.  Surely it has nothing to do with me.  Perhaps I was too late?  I've been getting a hankering lately to get back into reading books.  Places like Amazon are great to buy and ship things because it's so cheap!  I don't know why anyone would buy a book from a store anymore.  It doesn't make sense when you factor in the idea that it's almost twice the price!  Ahh free market economics, let the consumer bring down the book stores!!  I vote with my dollars, thank you very much.

Oh man, I am just utterly struggling to stay awake here.  I'm hoping this week picks up because I've lost all focus.  Is that why this blog is not as good as it used to be?  The volume is there, but the quality is what's bugging at me.  Is there a noticeable lapse in quality from 2011 onwards?  Maybe I'm just missing the creative spark of the other.  Will hit up guitar in full force tonight, provided I can stay awake long enough.  Just have to stop wasting so much time.

Let's see what we can learn.

I'm going to leave it there for today.

Joaquin out.

Flashpoint Of The Flashback

It's a really dewy morning, and condensation is everywhere, yet it's not really raining.  It's like there's a sort of morning mist descending on us.  Haha, sort of like we're descending into Silent Hill or some place like that.  Yes, another day of no gym and sleeping in.  It's not even that cold compared to just a little bit earlier, but it's like I've lost the will to live.  I just want to stay in bed and do nothing all day.  No tv, no movies, no computer, no internet.  Just in bed sleeping away and wasting my life.  Don't worry, I'll get back into it tomorrow.  It's just that without the gym in the morning, I am sluggish for the remainder of the day, and the cold gets deeper into my skin.

You know in winter people pile on kilos because they're not exercising, but also because they are eating a lot more.  The energy just to maintain core temperature in cold climates is incredibly taxing on your metabolism, and you have to eat a lot more to compensate for the energy requirements.  What a weird and wonderful thing the human body is.  Then you factor in environmental impacts on it and you wonder how interlinked everything is.

Coming back up to 4 weeks leave and I'm wondering what the hell I'm going to do?  Could I possibly take two lots of month long holidays in the one year?  That would be pretty balling!  But should probably save it up for something substantial.  Ahhh where is my life going?  Down the toilet it seems.  It's also not helping that I'm starting to feel sick. 

Ahhh, man.  This is just not the place to be.  I guess I have to make up for yesterday's good post with another steaming pile of brilliance.  But in good news I have a whole load of new additions to the Joaquin Rate List (JRL)!  For those not in the know, that's where I have compiled a list ofall the hotties I rate, as well as a short description of why.  I'll add pics to it at some stage, but I'll make sure I update it for the new names over the weekend.  It seems to be a big selling point in this blog for some reason, haha!

Had a good guitaring weekend.  Got through about 50 tracks of my own stuff and consolidated some ideas, practiced some dexterity and I'm feeling good.  There's a thread of inspiration there.  I'll keep picking at it.

Anyway, it's been another long, boring pointless day.  Yay!

Joaquin out.

I Make The Rules

Yet I don't live in a world without consequences?  That makes no sense whatsoever.  Then again, when has anything I've posted ever made sense?  Apologies for the lack of updates over Friday and the weekend, I got sick and didn't go to work and then I just couldn't be bothered doing anything over the weekend at all.  But I'm back and we can continue on this merry little journey of ours.  Where we end up?  Nobody knows!

Well I was almost right.  What we have this week will be the most we ever have.  So wasn't quite so far off.  But hopefully it's all going somewhere better.  Maybe I won't be so stumped in the future?  Well things will become more difficult, slightly.  But nothing is ever too hard.  Just remember that.  Never give up hope.  Even if you have to make your own.

Crazy morning, super tired and just not feeling 100%.  Skipped the gym and slept in.  Not a good start to the week at all.  Especially considering that I usually skip the gym towards the latter part of the week.  But I'll keep at it, and hopefully I'll be back in the swing of things tomorrow.

So where was I?  Last week I did mention that I would do a political blog on the Friday, but now I can't even recall what I wanted to say.  The state of Australian politics is a joke, but having said that, it's a joke everywhere.  Governments are forever looking to oppress the people and maintain their hold on power, yet the people never rise up and revolt.  If they do, they are denounced and their own people turn on them.  It makes no sense.  Something has to break, something's gotta give.  The question is when, what over?  Everything keeps us pacified, it stops us from getting angry.  It stops us from seeking justice.

I had an interesting conversation the other day about feminism and how it's so rooted in notions of privileged, university educated white women who tend to enforce their viewpoints on others, and if they disagree, they must be misogynists.  Some of the time, that characterisation could be correct, but I am concerned when it becomes their default position.  Let's move to a hypothetical situation where a woman has the sole ambition of becoming a housewife after college.  That should be fine, that should be her choice, but this current wave of feminism will criticise her for 'wasting her life in the kitchen' and not pursuing higher education and obtaining a high paying executive job, while simultaneously raising children.  True equality should be about freedom of choice.  In this regard, these sorts of feminists are no better than the raging right wing conservatives who say women have no role to play on society - they are both enforcing their view point on others.  There's no freedom to dissent.  I think there is the inherent problem from both sides.  Let's talk abortion for a minute.  In an ideal world with 50% left wing people and 50% right wing people, the correct political policy move is to legalise abortion.  Those who don't wish to abort will not do it, and this should be voiced to the public.  Those who need it should be able to undertake the procedure.  You can't deny someone something on the other basis, because it makes no sense.  The problem is that the right wingers want to get involved in other people's business and force them to give birth to a child they cannot take care of.  It is that simple. 

The low level of literacy in this country is appalling.  There are so many people out there, in jobs even where their levels of reading and writing are just incredibly poor, like somewhere between primary and high school levels.  How could this be happening?  The school system is failing everyone.  Private and public.  Some people just like to chase the wrong thing.

Running into the most random of people today.  It also leads to more questions.  Perhaps things require more thought?  None of it makes sense.  Yet caged and shackled I am, I can't breathe.

How do I want to live my life?  I want to live so I know that the life I currently lead is a privilege, and it's not a right.  There are so many people in the world who will never have what I have, and I have to realise that I'm lucky. 

Hahaha, and to completely flip-flop, I just want to mention that it's incredibly dangerous to browse Amazon when you have a large credit card limit.  But I never spend money like a douche.  I'm careful and I save well. 

Not a lot going on work wise.  Not a lot going on otherwise, either!  That's just my life.  Don't wish for drama, because you don't need it.

That's it for today folks!

Joaquin out.