A Month In Spain Just To Choke On A Chain

Things are interesting when you are on fire like this. You sit around wondering whether you are normal like other guys, and I suppose, biologically speaking, we all are. But it certainly doesn't feel like it when your desires are enflamed so often. We would talk quite often about how we seemed different to others. She was quite different, and I think to some extent she realised it, but did not want to admit it.
We were matched like that. Then began a journey to some very dark places. Visiting the depths of my soul that I didn't know existed. You don't know what you're capable of until you have gone there. Pain and pleasure become intertwined, and co-dependence becomes the name of the game.

Oh addiction, such a powerful mistress you are. Unnatural desires take hold of me and I'm left all alone. Where are you? What are you doing? I miss you, so, so much.


I remember when I was in school as a youngen that I would watch bullies do their thing, and realised they were little sociopaths. They acted without morals or conscience. If they hit someone or swore at someone, they would just continue as it is if is a normal thing. I knew I had a soul because I would always question how someone could do something bad to someone else and not feel bad about it? Whenever I
did something bad to someone, I always felt guilty, I always second guessed it, I knew it was wrong. Kids who don't feel like that need to be exterminated, because they are tomorrow's killers and career criminals. I don't think people like that can be rehabilitated when the damage is so deeply ingrained in their psyche. Goddamn, there are so many awful parents out there.

But on an unrelated note, I wish I could do something bad and not feel guilty about it. But that's just not the sort of person I am.

Let's get a little more salacious in some future posts this week!

Joaquin out