What an album, one of the ones that has just made history, and without which life would just cease to exist. Yes, I'm taking about "Blood, Sugar, Sex, Magik - RHCP." Just saw a video of "Give it away," and what an awesome video that was. Just lovin it mate! What a day its been, completelyaction packed. One of my greatest fears in my life are confrontations, and thats exactly what I had planned for today even before I woke up to smell the coffee. Decided last night that it was time that I quit my job. Firstly, I miss having time to do things that are unimportant, and also trying to shuffle and do everything that I have to do was just becoming too intense, so I decided that it was time to quit. The other reason is that I have saved up enough for what I innitially started working for, and hence it was a success. What I hate again, is failing, I've never failed anything that just consisted on my effort when I actually wanted to get it done. So yet again, I am happy to have accomplish what I intended to do. But after the confrontation, my boss got me to do another week, and I think thats fair as he will need somtime to get someone else, and also coz its my two week break. Its finally becoming a break as I don't feel as much presure to get eveything done in these two weeks as I have time to do them now. Its hard to live wound up 24/7.
What makes life worth living? Thats quite simple, the people make this life worth it. Its not the things we own, as they always find a way to own us (Fightclub). People can make us happy, sad, angry, or feel completely defeated. They are the only ones who can insight all the possible emotions in the emotional spectrum. The best thing I guess is that these things can be so unpridictable. And thats what also seems to fustrate us more than anything, not knowing is fustration. And most of us hate not knowing, I know I hate it. But there is nothing we can do about it, so we have to embrace what is not know. And in a completely exestentialist point of view, only certainty in life is death. However morbid that may sound, its the only truth. The people I'm with or without makes a huge difference in how I think, I realized that. When I'm with my girlfriend, I feel like I can conquor the world, and as optimistic as I can possibly be, like I used to be when I was a kid, one of the most optimistic people alive. Now as life has drained most of my naievity, when I am without, I become a very determined rebel and an exestentialist. I guess this is temporary, so its alright to hate the world for a while...
I am seriously waiting for the day when I can walk around outside with just a tshirt on! I've had enough of the winter, I want to be a little warmer, the good news for me is that after a little while it should infact get a little warmer, and the winter in Dhaka that I am scheduled to go to, is hardly winter, I'd call it pleasant. I wonder sometimes if the weather has an effect on how we are feeling about things? If we like the weather do we become more happy. For now all I know is that when I see sunflowers I am a happy person. Smoking lounges are usually the worst place to be, but this one at Singapore airport is my salvation, it has both sunflowers and its outside, so I love it. Can't wait to have a smoke there again soon, once I'm there I know i'm that much closer to where I wanna be!
Sometimes I think I worry about things too much. For example, when I have a hard subject, I'm consumed by the thought of failure. Is this nessarily a bad thing? Maybe it is, and should take things less seriously, but if I didn't it would only mean that I'm losing the thought of how important that thing might be. The worrying is like a constant reminder that this is something to do right or hold on to. Interesting its all anxiouity, I hate it, but is always running on an overdose in me...
Alright, its time to hit the sack, being an insomniac is not fun, I used to be able to hit the hay and fall asleep almost instenatniouly. I hate the worries that my head starts rendering when I am just laying there. Haha sad but true, sometimes I would just rather not sleep at all! But for now I am tired after a long day, and its time to call it quits, can't do it all all the time. Night fellas. Btw, Jester's pic of his new phone is absolutely awesome!!! Hahaha what a cack!!
technorati tags:RHCP, Blood, Sugar, Sex, Magik, Worries, Anarchy
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