So the worst has finally happened, and my hard drive has finally packed it in. My own fault really. I should have changed it as soon as I noticed it was having problems. But that's Western Digital for you! These stupid Green 2TB hard drives! All my time in owning computers and it's this one that is the first to pack it in! I can't believe it. So it looks like I've got my weekend all sorted. Annoying! I just want to sleep it all away.
Crap, and I don't think I have anything to say. Why does it always work out this way? So much going on in some facets, and now I am starved for ideas on here. Just who is this person? I really hate where things are going. It would have been much easier if it was just like the rest. But it's not, it's all entirely different! And it scares me, because it is nothing but uncertainty. That is the only certainty, and that definitely bothers me. Outclassed, outmatched, outboxed at every opportunity. It has been a real eye-opener of an experience. How does someone like that even exist? Okay, I may have let you have the last word yesterday, but I'm sure I'll have it today. Does it go to show that you were thinking of me? The same way that I think about you. Not bloody likely, I'm afraid. It can't be possible. Not for me. At least not in this circumstance.
It was recently Australia Day here. It brings up a lot of issues. It's a celebration day of the arrival of the first fleet in Australia. But it also signifies the explicit genocide and massacre of the indigenous population, and the theft of their land. It's also an excuse for crazed conservative types to put on Australian flags as capes, get drunk, and chase after some 'foreign' looking people, because they can't possibly be as Australian as you. In fact, they're not even Australian, they're just different, and therefore deserving of your misplaced aggression. Australians love it because it is a public holiday, but they refuse to acknowledge the fact that Australia has a black history. They want to discount the shared suffering of a bunch of people, and you will see stupid comments like the Prime Minister saying that there was nothing here before white colonisation, this is despite the High Court admitted that the country was not empty. Until these things are rectified, you will never have peace.
Left wing Australia Day: complain about the inherent racism of the holiday, then support a radio music show that features an overwhelmingly white bunch of artists. Irony, engage!
Damn, it's only 10am and I've already checked out. When can this day end so I can go home? The only certainty is the impermanence of life. None of this is being regulated!
And that's it! I'm done. I have nothing. I'm sorry. This is a waste of a post, it's a waste of a life. Only got myself to blame. There is only me to resent. Maybe I can work today. Cause I'm dysfunctional.
At least it's Tuesday? But it feels like a Wednesday. That doesn't bode well for the rest of the week. But hey, at least I'll get paid this week. That makes this monotony a bit easier to take. Only a bit.
I read this great speech by Steven Spielberg at a Holocaust memorial thing in Poland. He said that what we experience as children has a profound effect on us as adults, and I think that is very true. These seemingly insignificant things can shape our whole identity. That is because of who we are as children. Without other external information to counter it, our beliefs and mindsets solidify quite quickly. And that's important, because even later on, as adults, with more information and more education, it becomes almost impossible to change your views on something you picked up as a child. Humans are weird creatures. If animals could learn how we could, it would be interesting to see how this would impact who we are. And how we are.
This body is really falling apart. It's all just downhill from here. I guess pain becomes something I will have to live with everyday. Great, physical and emotional too! Together at last!
This is going to be one of those years! It's super-Australian based ethnocentrism for 2015. This year will mark the centenary anniversary of the ANZAC Gallipoli landing. This is something that is central to the Australian-founding concept. It is all about mateship and sacrifice and all these grand ideas that Australians love to spout off about, but don't actually practice when it comes to things like multiculturalism or accepting refugees and so on. Of course it is all about warfare. People aren't concerned about the idea of being in a foreign country and invading it. People don't care that there were brutal prisoner of war murders and massacres of innocent people (on both sides). So much stock is placed in the idea, this myth, that to question it is to draw upon the greatest of scorn from all groups. You should be able to question everything, and point out facts. People like to look the other way whenever it suits them.
There's no such thing as the Australian experience. There is no Australian way of life. To think that way is incredibly stupid. There's no shared experience. Everyone is different. We are all individuals. There could be a human experience, but all you could say is that there is birth, life, and death. That's it. No two experiences will be exactly the same, nor should they be.
This brings me back to warfare and hero worship of monsters. It is no secret that I am a pacifist. I think people rush off to wars at the drop of a hat these days, without ever really thinking about the consequences. But they probably just want the short term boost in popularity. But the fact is this: you can't just drum up a bunch of racist, nationalist pride to get someone to go overseas and kill someone for you. You need to strip away their humanity, foster something disgusting and subhuman in them that was probably always there, and give them a gun, a licence to kill, and little recourse for their actions, unless you can cover it up. This brings me to American Sniper. I haven't seen the film (but I will), but I've read the synopsis, and I'm familiar with the story of Chris Kyle and his autobiography. The film has inspired a renewed sense of nationalism and hatred for all kinds of foreigners. Clint Eastwood has struck paydirt here. He may be a conservative that didn't support the war, but he has made something that will deliberately polarise the audience, but will still get bums in seats so that they can make up their own mind. Racist conservatives will see justification, and a new jesus-type hero in Chris Kyle, to rally the nation to its cause. Left wingers will see an anti-war film, and the effect of PTSD on soldiers, and an immersive character study from Bradley Cooper (who has gone from strength to strength as an actor). Chris Kyle's book is the unfiltered, more personal view of his account of the war, and it shows just how warped he was. He joined the military after 9/11, hoping to kill terrorists. Yet the majority of his book and the film is dedicated to the Iraq War. A war that was cooked up by the Americans to deflect attention away from failures in Afghanistan, and tried to draw a really laughable link between Al-Qaeda and Saddam Hussein and weapons of mass destruction as a linchpin. If he had these weapons, don't you think he would have used them? Anyway, Kyle had this unshakeable belief that everything he was doing was right, and killing everyone was a good thing, because they were all 'uncivilised savages'. I'm sorry, but there goes your humanity, buddy. I don't care if you came back to help other veterans. You're all the same. Some may have gone with good intentions, and got messed up by what they saw and what they had to do over there, but Kyle seemed to have that 'serial killer' like thing going on in his mind, and the army was the appropriate outlet for someone like that to thrive and be a hero, and kill countless people as a State sponsored murderer.
Chris Kyle was killed as he was attempting to rehabilitate a fellow veteran, at a gun range in his home state. Here comes the crazed myth now. They are now painting his killer as a psychopathic murderer, when he was just in the same position as Kyle, but didn't enjoy his job with the same blood-thirsty glee. If Kyle had flipped out and killed his wife and kids, I'm sure they would find some way to justify it, or to explain that he was suffering from PTSD. But someone killing this 'hero'? Of course the other person was a vile villain who deserves to die! Such rampant hypocrisy. I'm not that bothered that he's dead.
What really bugs me about work, no matter where you are, managers have a hard time letting go of work. If there's something that's annoying and crappy, they will totally delegate that in no time, and wash their hands of all responsibility. But when it comes to good, new tasks, they will always keep that for themselves. There's extreme micro-management and craziness.
I'm just...I'm really just trying to get a grip on life. I'm about 30 now. But I don't feel like I've lived 30 years. Sometimes I feel like I've lived too long. But the other issue is that no matter how long I feel like I've been alive, it seems that everything can be compressed into just the past year or so. That doesn't seem right at all. And to think we could all just be bits of binary data. If only the matrix were real. But if it was, how come some people get to live so well, and others don't? Why not keep everyone happy in delusional fakery? Even our robot slave masters didn't believe in equality!! Hahahaha. Crazy.
Oh man, still 3.5 hours to go today. I don't know if I can hang on. Damn, this post suddenly got better, out of nowhere! Haha, I wasn't even attempting it.
It dawned on me a while back that I am the Earl of Lemongrab. Sigh, 2 hours.
Better call it here.
Joaquin out.
