Getting Away From It All

Am I that far removed from my life that I didn't even remember today was a pay day?  Haha that's the worst!  The ONLY reason I come to work is to get paid.  This stuff isn't fulfilling.  I'm not learning anything.  I'm not changing the world. I'm not helping anyone.  I come to collect the money and then go home and continue to waste my life.  It's a fun and vicious cycle!  Yes, I'm forever the cynic.  But that's just how I am.  I morphed into this being over several years.  There's no optimism here.  Just reality.  Nothing but stone cold reality.  It's sick isn't it?  I recall at the end of last year how over everything I was.  Then over the break I was doing my school work.  And it's back to this crap.  It's the same old thing.  Same old thing, really.  Then it's all done.  Your life is over.  Nothing to show for it. 

Is it wrong that I'm nervous?  Is it worse that I'm excited?  I'm concerned it's all going to go belly up.  But maybe that would be all for the best.  At least I will have proof of my own disappointment and failure.  It'll be staring me right in the face.  Maybe that's a sign of growth and maturity?  I can just let it go.  I don't want to be at the creek.  In fact it's kinda scary that these places are all in close proximity. 

I knew it would happen!  Just a bit of time guitaring was all I needed.  Coming up with some new and actually good ideas.  It's about bloody time.  I'm not done.  I'm not licked.  There's still some life left in this old machine.  I can play!  Hepped up on sugar, looking for the next bump for my fix. 

Ahh excellent.  I've returned to a point at which I've finished my work and everything is left with other people to get back to me.  Andddd it's only 10am.  Not good.  What do I do with the rest of the day?

Has the world really become a worse place?  I'm not sure.  It's difficult to tell.  Maybe the news has become more global, so people in the West are finally waking up to the realities of what is happening in the rest of the world, and what they have to live with on a daily basis.  Or maybe the crazy and depressing stories result in the biggest hits, so news outlets tend to focus on them, and people get the wrong impression of the world.  There's never any good news stories is there?

I spoke too soon!!!!!!  Ahh, work busy again.  Let's see if I can get this show on the road.  Ahh it's been weirdly busy.  90 minutes to go until I can get out of here. 

I've got letters to write and I don't want to!  But I've got some time to spare.  I can't wait to go home.  I'm going to make it my goal to go to sleep early.  Hahaha, I sound like a loser, I know, but I think it'll be fantastic.  Too many weekend plans.  I enjoyed myself last time when I just sat at home by myself watching movies.  Now it's all about being social and doing things with people.  I'm not down with that. 

This day isn't moving fast enough!!  35 minutes.  But I've done well to get to this point.  1 down, 1 to go.  That's progress. 

Joaquin out.