I guess I'm stuck in a rut, and right now I'm being forced to stay in that rut for a little while. I suppose I'd better enjoy it. So even worse than yesterday, I've now got nothing to do after just 90 minutes, as opposed to 2 hours. This should be good! Hahaha. Oh man, where did my life go? Where did all of your lives go?
It's weird right, that we were the youth once, we were all born in the mid 80s, and the world looked so bright, and it was ours for the taking. Except that it didn't really. This new generation has taken over. The ones born in the 90s, even those born in the 2000s! We sort of became redundant or outmodded. The world doesn't make sense to us, and the world is moving too quickly, and somewhere in all that chaos, we were forgotten. And we are lost. What becomes of us? Just drifting aimlessly unto the grave. Or does that happen to every generation? Maybe we were all too passive? Who knows, it's a weird set of circumstances out there.
Has the world really changed? It just seems that governments have gotten dumber, and the people have too, or that the segments of the community that scream the loudest seem to get their way, even when they are ridiculously wrong. Does the community at large just buy into government lies or spin? Are we really that thick or gullible as a group? Well perhaps. I do firmly believe in a quote I read in the Men In Black novelisation some time ago, where they said a crowd is only as smart as the dumbest person in it. How very true. Nobody is focusing on real issues. What we're now seeing is a big swing to insularism and selfishness. People don't want to engage with community. They want to shut themselves off from it, they just feel entitled to things. They want other people to suffer if it means they get to enjoy the status quo. That's not right at all. People have no empathy or sympathy. It's all about what's theirs, what they can get, what they can keep, and nothing else. When did we become like that? It seems like we're all slipping back into bad habits, where we blame an entire group of people for a select few's actions. And we all know what happens from there - genocide. Easily justifiable genocide. Then apparently we learn our lessons, vow it will never happen again and so on. But it does. It always does. History gives us lessons we never bother to learn from.
Gosh I'm so hungry!! Not just for food. Hungry for knowledge. I want to learn more about everything. But nobody wants to teach me.
Work is weird, there's nothing to do for once. That's good. Things aren't as busy as they once were, which would be handy if I had other things to do, but it looks like it's quiet on all fronts for now. That's not good, especially when you have 5 and a half hours to go until you can get out of here! Oh my god! That's ages! I've gotta fight the urge to sleep.
Is there anything important to say? Everything seems to be in a state of flux, and a state of static at the same time. How is that even possible? Everything is and it isn't? These thoughts are my only legacy. Now that's a scary thought! 4 hours to make something of it!
Oh gosh, we're back to this already, I see. No rest for the wicked! Keep at it.
Where did the last 90 minutes ago?? I need time to slow down for a while. Oh fuck!!! Why you gotta do this to me?! Arghhhhh!! Oh man, I can't do this. I really can't. I'm not equipped to deal. Just put me back to bed with the fan on. Let me out of here. Alright, 3 hours to make something. Am I facing the firing squad again? How many times is this going to happen in my life? Am I learning yet? Cause I'm not so sure. I'm not sure about anything at all. Don't ask me questions, because you'll always get different answers.
Still having a difficult time sleeping through the night. I keep waking up at least an hour before my alarm goes off. It's not fun, because I always get tired in the early afternoon, and early evening. Why can't things balance out? Maybe I need a few days to re-adjust to regular hours.
You know what's a crappy gift? Well gifts in general are always a bit on the nose to me - most of us (including you reading this) live very comfortable lives. If we want something, we can save a bit and buy it later on. The very fortunate can just buy it. So I don't understand the need for people to spend money on giving you things. There are so many people out there who are getting by on nothing. It makes me feel ill when I get gifts. I don't deserve it, I don't appreciate it. If I'm given a gift, all that will result is me getting you a similar gift of exactly the same value. It's a net zero sum game. So what's the point? As I've stated before, my preferred thing is to receive a cheap card, but with a personal message in it expressing positive sentiment. Nothing more. That's it. Easy, affordable. Don't even need to pay anything, you can just make a card up from a spare piece of paper. The thought is what counts the most here. But I really dislike gift vouchers. So they're a set amount - $50, $100 and so on. If you get a $50 card, and spend only $30, there's going to be $20 of lost value. So the idea is to make you spend more and more, and hopefully you will have to spend your own cash once you go over the voucher value. So the retailer always wins, they get the money from the person giving the voucher, and they also get your money. That's not exactly ideal. And I really dislike retailers who charge an admin fee to give vouchers! How insane! They're already making a profit anyway.
Blame it on the weatherman. Should have known better.
Yikes, this post is getting away from me. At least I'm making progress. It all amounts to something. Okay, one hour. 60 minutes. Tick tock. And there it goes. Precious seconds, precious minutes, hours, days, months, years, decades of your life. And then that's it. Kaputski. Seeya! There's no dignity in that. It's my hope that you're at least getting something out of this by returning here and reading all these words. Try to make some sense of your own lives from the jumbled mess that is my life.
The time comes. The guns are raised, you say your last words, and it all ends in a hail of bullet fire...
Joaquin out.
