The blog remix laughs while turning tricks

It turns out that I really don't underestimate my folks and that I'm never wrong (you'll have to refer to 2 or 3 blogs back to get the back story to this)! I bought a suit today for a wedding on Saturday that I must attend. We had to get the pants altered and the lady behind the counter goes "ahh so this is for all the ladies" to which I instantly crack up at. Then my father unit promptly replies "no, he's a good boy". I knew I had covered my tracks fairly well!

I wish my G'Ma would get here already! I want to see MIA girl already! Anticipation is building over this reunion.

While today showed that my folks can't put 2 and 2 together (thankfully), it also showed that they can humiliate me pretty damn well when the situation presents itself. Case in point? Going shopping for other clothes with my folks. There was this incredibly lovely looking girl (who I rather immaturely nicknamed 'nice ass girl' - in my head of course) working in one of the stores who helped us out. As I was trying on clothes, I could overhear my father telling this girl all this embarrassing shite about myself! Once I had vacated the change rooms, I made my way over to my father in the middle of another inappropriate anecdote when I decided to give him a taste of my nasty and cynical wit. The girl loved it and laughed like a maniac. Moral of the story? Always go shopping with friends (preferably members of the opposite sex who can offer decent advice).

T & A. Tits and Ass. I believe the British coined the term. What is it about T & A? From my adolescence, even NOW, hotly contested debates arise between all of my friends over T & A. You're either a breast man or you're an ass man. There is no in-between allowed. In my younger days, I was an ass man. Now, through constant bickerings and the occasional threat of violence, I am now a breast man. What changed? Peer pressure! Sure, I can still appreciate a lovely ass now and then, but it must be exceptional in order to really grab my attention in the same way some nice supple breasts would. I think it could be linked to a man's intelligence. Oh I just realised that I was approaching this from a heterosexual ideology so I apologise to gays and lesbians everywhere (although I'm sure lesbians can see the merit in some of my points). I tend to find that ass men are on the whole, a hell of a lot brighter than their breast loving counterparts.

I really wish that one could turn off their primitive brain. I think it's located in the hypothallamus...or maybe it's the hippocampus...I'm not really sure anymore. It's basically the stuff that regulates hormones, base primal emotion (fear etc), breathing and the list goes on. So why would one want to turn that stuff off? It's the same crap that makes you inadvertently perve on women!! The unexplainable/inexplicable eerie 'Species' like skill where you stare at a woman and go "hmm I'd really like to share some genes with you". EVEN WHEN YOU MAKE IT A POINT TO NOT STARE AT SOMEONE YOU KEEP DOING IT, it's all so very annoying. However, fear is our oldest and most effective emotion, I would not like to turn that off! I think it goes beyond our senses.

Now, much like a horny teen, I shall turn the topic into MILFs. For the uninitiated, M.I.L.F. stands for Mum I'd Like To Fuck (s signifies a plural, duh)! Anyhow, I've noticed that all of my college friends, attached or not have developed a MILF fascination. I think I'm the only one that's not into that! I like my ladies remotely my age thank you! They've never explained their reasons of course, but it's obvious that it stems from some unnamed Oedipal complex. What about from an evolutionary point of view? There's proof that they're good wife material, so in a round about way owner of enviable genes? These are all the wrong reasons!!

Enough of this madness for tonight. Have a nice day folks!