Months Turn Into Years, Are These All Your Fears?

And what is there to show for it?  Festering at the bottom of everything.  It pervades everything you do.  I'm still a little lost amongst it all.  But then again, who isn't?  But I seem to be drowning in it.  There's a lot of things I need to get done, and the pressure should be getting to me, but I don't even care.  There's those I know who probably have what I need.  It's a lot more troubling when you yourself don't know what you need.  It was a strange weekend.  I had so much to do in terms of chores and errands, but all I really remember doing is playing guitar.  I'm a terrible procrastinator.  I've gone half a step down, and wow, what a difference it makes.  Just a semitone down, but it adds so many different dynamics to your existing pieces.  I'm getting a bit better.  I need to go through my entire catalogue and see how things sound now.  Where is my mind?  Where is my motivation?  What is it doing to you?  Does it make you want to scream?  I'm not mentally equipped to deal with any of this.  Ahh this blog is like therapy.  It's cathartic.  It's going to suck later on when I'm doing the blog intro/retrospective because I won't be able to write anything.  But we'll see how that pans out.

What's scary is when you can't recall whether a memory was from a dream or whether it actually happened.  I tend to get that a lot in terms of places, but not events or people.  It's certain places I've been, but it gets kind of messed up in terms of whether I've actually been there or whether I made the whole thing up in my mind.

So the Treasurer, Joe Hockey has announced that the Government is considering raising the retirement age up to 70.  That's an absolute joke.  A lot of people aren't even living that long.  That's a horrible truth of Government - they want your taxes, they want you to struggle for your entire life conforming to a system and they won't even give you anything in return.  By the time you've retired, you're too hold to enjoy anything.  Your life is over.  You probably have another 10 years from that point until the game is over.  What an absolute joke.  We're already in school for longer to get university degrees (and soon to be Masters degrees), we don't need to be working jobs that we hate for longer.  This older generation, what a disgrace.  They were able to enjoy the benefits of a free university education, as well as getting more value from their dollars in shopping, as well as from a time where both parents didn't have to work in order to have a stable and secure home life.  And now we are paying the price for their terrible governance and mismanagement.  What I wonder now is whether people impacted by this from my generation will stand up and take what they should be entitled to, in fairness to other generations that had it so good, or whether they will just fall into line like robots.

I'm missing my privacy!  That's for sure.  It makes it a lot harder to get things done, that you can bet on.  This life ain't hypothetical.  I'm feeling pretty tired.  Actually, scrub that.  Very tired, and I've still got over 3 hours until I can go home and not worry.  My goal for this week is pretty lame, it's to not fall asleep or nap before my actual bed time.  How sad is that?  Because when I do that, I don't sleep properly at night, and I'm buggered for the next day. 

Is this a scary routine?  Where nothing at all changes?  We are just doomed to repeat things on and on?  There's no difference in life.  There's no variation.  What has always shocked me in the Western world is the existence of sommeliers.  Isn't that the height of privilege?  Someone can be paid (and paid well) to help rich people choose wines to have with their meal?!  Jesus!  People are starving out there!  Look at us!  Don't save us, we don't deserve it. 

Better get on with the personal stuff!!  Only have 2 hours to go. 

Joaquin out.