What's Inside Of Us, You, Me?

Thought I would live blog for once, since I'm just sorting through music at the moment.  I had a lot of albums downloaded, but hadn't gone through it and I just wanna get it ticked off.  It'll be good to multitask for once.  Things are just getting...weird.  I really have no word for it, and I don't really know how to explain it.

It's been a really busy day and I'm just a bit over existence for the moment.  At least in this form.  I'd like to be something else.  Just to experience it.  Experience and existence are not the same thing.  And you begin to ask yourself, what are you made of?  Are you the sum of your memories?  Because if that's the case, I don't remember a hell of a lot of my life.  Maybe I've just repressed it all.

Have all my choices, decisions in life brought me to this point?  And what if it was all a mistake?  Am I on the outer of everyone's memories?  And what if I was just wiped clean?  People and their mistakes, I don't take the blame for it.  Could it all have been different if it were another set of circumstances?

I don't even know who I am anymore.  It's all just going so slowly.  Is there redemption at the end?  I find myself questioning the existence of God even more.  Is there just some way?  Is there payoff for faith?  And if you're wrong?  Then what?  It is all nothing.  We're just all data, just bits of information that become redundant.  There's no perfect code.  Some of us were just born too early to make sense of it all.

Have I changed?  Am I stronger now?  Am I tougher?  Or am I just a wreck?  What brought all of this on?  Does close mindedness work against me?  And we are all headed in the wrong direction.  Music is not what it used to be.  I hate some places.  Backwards.  This isn't progress.

So many chances, so many dreams.  Is it the same for everyone?  How can anyone cope?  What if there is a clock ticking in the background and nobody is keeping time?

Holy shit, it's almost 3am!  Where does my time go?!  I haven't played any guitar.  This isn't good at all.  I've cut my nails, goddamn!

I can still get to it though.

Joaquin out.