So when I was waiting for this Iranian fellow to be detained, I realised he went through the procedures and they let him through. Ok, interesting. I then go up with my chirpy attitude and Australian passport. I get my picture taken and do the fingerprinting and the fellow looks at my passport and asks "how long are you here for" to which I reply "oh I'm just transiting for a couple of hours". Then I notice him take a closer look at my name and he says "follow me". Well fuck. I should have realised that when your name is "Joaquin" of course the authorities are going to be suspicious, especially when you're traveling under a passport where people are expecting your name to be "Steven" or "John" or just generally less ethnic sounding. He jumps out of his booth and directs me to a contained area with armed guards that is very secure. I look around me and I spot various ethnic people, mostly dark skinned (and for some reason a young white girl in her mid teens by herself) all sitting and waiting. We are all placed in a room that's set out like a movie theatre, except flat, and instead of a screen we are given some plexiglass barriers behind which to watch various TSA people ask batshit stupid questions. A middle aged man gets up and asks in broken english whether his wife can use the bathroom. He is promptly yelled at and told to sit down, which he does. Ok, not exactly the friendliest of people. There's a sign saying no phones - obviously so you can't record the stupidity that is taking place. I open my book and decide to plod on from where I left off on the plane. After a while, a range of ethnic surnames are announced and one by one, people march up to the protected perspex booth that has the holes cut out way too low (even for me, and I'm average height), so you automatically have to bow down to your American overlord superiors in order for them to speak to you. Gradually people are asked questions which would have already been answered via the ESTA process.
People eventually file out and I'm the last one left. The white teenage girl apparently had some out of date travel documentation and she's let go. My name is called and I march up to the desk. You people are damn lucky I have selective photographic memory!
"So what are you doing here?"
"Umm I'm transiting through"
"where are you going?"
"Canada"
"what for?"
"for a holiday to visit friends"
"where are they from"
"Excuse me?"
"Where are your friends from?"
"Australia"
"are you traveling by yourself?"
"yes"
"Back in Australia what do you do?"
"I'm a lawyer"
(look of panic and realisation) "ohh...so what firm do you work for?"
"(NAME OF EMPLOYER)"
"Do you have a business card to verify that?"
"I'm on holidays, why would I have a business card?"
"People take business cards with them everywhere"
"Ok no I don't"
"if I google your employer will I get your name as a hit"
"yes"
"where are your parents from"
"(NAME OF COUNTRY)"
"ok, what countries outside of Europe have you been to?"
"(NAMES A LOT OF COUNTRIES)"
"What languages can you speak"
"(NAMES SEVERAL LANGUAGES)"
"that's a lot of languages"
"...."
"ok collect you can go, collect your bags, it's being held for you in the processing area"
"Right"
I get to pick up my bags, but only when I get to Canada do I realise that they have broken the lock on my bag and searched through it (there was no sticker or notice to alert me to this). I walk out of the room and all of a sudden I get screamed at to stop.
"You can't leave this area without signing out"
"Oh sorry (SIGNS NAME)"
"Welcome to the United States"
"Sure..thanks"
Well holy shit, what a terrible first impression of a country. You get treated like a criminal and get asked the silliest questions (ones that they know the answers to, or are completely irrelevant). All just based on a hunch of some idiot who failed college and gets his kicks from his contrived, fear induced power behind a desk. Now don't get me wrong, I understand these douchebags are just doing their jobs, but it's a job that ought not to exist. I'm not a threat. I hold a passport of an allied country! If we pulled this kind of shit with American guests, you can bet they'd change the laws very quickly to appease them, but we don't get the same luxury. No wonder everyone hates America! This is the kind of arrogant fear-mongering that radicalises people and makes them apathetic to America's concerns. When the big giant topples, we will all smile, because you deserved it. All it takes is all the effort of the little people. Let's not even get into the stupidity of the threat detection here. I'm Australian - no Australian passport holder has ever been convicted of a terrorist offence against America. Why ask me for countries I have visited outside of Europe?! If I had been to Europe, there is a higher chance that I could have potentially been radicalised, based on incidents in French speaking regions, Scandinavia, and Britain. That would have been much more relevant. So if I'd already gained an ESTA and they know the answers to my questions, why detain me? We know it's just profiling. In the land of the free. Whatever, bullshit. I'm not even a citizen of your country, you can't just interrogate me like this. And the sad thing is, if I had raised this issue, you can bet your ass I'd still be there and nobody would have heard from me. I'm essentially paying $15USD to be detained. Jesus!
I almost copped the same treatment in Canada on my way out. I had no idea that Vancouver Airport had a processing facility they have hived off to allow the United States to process people before they'd even set foot in the country. That's a whole legal issue right there! I got asked questions by the processing officer but thankfully didn't get detained. Now back to Australia - if you're allied with the United States, why would you let this happen to one of your citizens? If you can't guarantee safe passage to a country you have an allied agreement with, why should I bother serving that country? What allegience should I have to the passport that guarantees me nothing? There's no pride or honour in this because it's a joke that's rooted in racism and fear. We will not move forward as a society.
It's always interesting to have the past come back in such weird ways. I'm reading Sloane's blog at the moment. I haven't seen or spoken to him since university. He was a nice guy, and I wondered what had happened to him. But good ol' friends of friends manage to find answers for you. Check it out, he's a wonderful writer: http://sloanethoughts.com
Skipped the gym today cause I couldn't be assed. But hey, that's life. Another weekend down the crapper.
This is not my life anymore. I never get to do the things I want to do. Ever. And that's the thing. I should be able to. But I'm not in charge of my life. It's always about compromise and disappointment now. I shouldn't have said anything. But I know things! Blergh, I'm not feeling well! Things are generally kept from me, aren't they?
This has been one hell of an effort. But I'm done for now. I'll see if I can blog while I'm gone, but no guarantees. In fact, I highly doubt it. But one can always see.
Joaquin out.
