I'm Not Looking, But I Can Still See Who You Are

All wrapped up in lies.

This is going to sound awful and incredibly first world problemy (white whine I can hear you back in the background), but I think all this doing nothing and being bored at work is starting to burn me out. I need a vacation. Just weeks and weeks of sitting at home and doing nothing. That's what I could do with.

Is all information relevant? Well I guess, but it's dependent on what you do with it. I think I've had this discussion just before, so I won't dwell on it too much.

Had a hell of a time trying to get to sleep last night. Probably too much caffeine in my system, but I've worked that out by going to the gym this morning. Of course, I am now half asleep at my desk. It's
just thinking too much and the anxiety which is keeping me up.

Love it when things go right. It makes me feel good. Hmmm, I do wonder though. With the good comes the bad. And I tend to get battered by the bad more so than I used to.

Well now I'm just fucking perplexed by what's occurring. Why would the actions turn out this way, yet there is still no action? It's Monday, I want answers. But I guess the ball is in my court now. What really pisses me off is that I have to keep going back to the place where I don't want to go. When I would visit with Rossco when I was younger, I knew it was bad news, but yet I'm always forced to go back, against my will. Like I'm running on fucking auto-pilot or something.

Oh god, Friday week I will be getting older and older. Just heading face first into a life that is increasingly lacking in pleasure and devoid of any meaning. Can I really eke this out?? Ahh, I hope I'm not still considered young, because this is just horrendous. Existence is torture!! Could any of this really be allayed? What do the coming weeks bring?? Intrigue, no doubt.

I wanted to talk about the past today, and I had a good point to make, but I cannot recall what the hell I wanted to raise, so let's consider it a wasted point - and you can consider this sentence a waste of a few seconds of your life, haha! That's right, they belong to me!

I've fallen by the wayside in terms of catching up on the blog intro/retrospective. I'm still trapped in December 2004. I'll get a move on that soon though.

It's also a great thing when you become aware of something well before the time comes so that you aren't caught off-guard. But everything has its own complications.

I'm just sitting here and waiting for the clock to wind down so I can go the hell home.

Social media is just bullshit. Nobody I know uses it anymore. Facebook is crap. Twitter is getting boring, and Tumblr is unoriginal. As I've stated many a time, the blog is really the only thing that gives me enjoyment. It doesn't even really feel like a chore, I just wish I had more stuff to write about, because other times I'm juts bursting at the seams, but when I'm actually writing, my sadness starts to cripple me and nothing really makes sense.

Hmm, that's a bit extreme, isn't it?

Who knows.

Surely it's too much of a coincidence to merely write it off? The facts seem to fit. I guess this is how assumptions can become truth.

Yes I'm angry, yes I'm upset.

Joaquin out.