X marks the spot!

The long awaited post from is finally here. Yes, I know it has been quite a while since I have posted a blog entry, but the good news is that it should be a bit more frequent from now on. Last month or so has been my getting adjusted to the whole plethora of things that have changed in my life. As I have just resized, change is inevitable, I've changed so much since the days of high school and the few years following that. Most people would probably agree that these are good changes and one that should have changed a long time ago, but then again it all depends on who's perspective you look at it from. Work has taken some adjusting to, as 4 days in the week I bust my ass making sandwiches for people, and now you may call me "lord of the subs." But to be honest, I am loving having a job, if not for anything else, for the fact that time does go by a lot faster with work involved. But alas that also means with the addition of classes and work, there isn't much time left for other things. But I am on my two week break, which really isn't a break, but I get time off classes, and that means that I can finish off most of my work during this period, and then have a little more free time on my hands for the next portion of semester, so don't worry the usual rants about whats going on in my head will be back from now on.

The media pisses me off, and so do journalists, no offense to the other of course. But journalists sometimes so unethical about the stuff they write about. For example the other week there was a poll about who is the prefered political party in Australia, and the results were 51% to 49% and they went on in the article about how the party with 51% looks good, and that they are going to win. But to the normal man it looks accurate, but unfortunately there was a sampling error of + or - 3% so that means that none of the results where anywhere close to being accurate. So comes the question, what are journalists about?? The next story or what is actually happening?? That is a question that can never be answered. And what irrtates me about the media most is that, they construct what news is important and what is marginalized. Let me give you an example, there are hurricanes in the USA, and now its the end of the world, and its on the news all the time, but the hones truth is that more people die in the third world for many other reasons, lets not even get into natural disasters, but guess what?? Those are over looked. So I'm being told that news in the first world is more important than the new in other parts of the world. This is a power racism happening here. If you are not powerfull, you have no say. It no longer one person one vote, its one dollar one vote.

That brings me to the next topic. Political ideologies, all of the ideas that have been conceptualized in the past are in good in theory, be it Marxism, Democracy or any of the lot. What screws them up is the fact that humans are so flawed. If we were robots and never thought about ourselves before the state, then there would be no issues. But then there are human qualities like greed, jealousy, envy, conformity, etc, that just screw up every single one of these systems. We honestly are not capable of living in a civilization, we all need to be put in our own space never to leave, else there is always going to be conflict. We are just flawed... I guess its all of gods plans, put us in a situation that is flawed in the start and see which one of us learn how to be good human being, before the rest, and then rewarded. I'm becoming more and more cynical about humans, they are too flawed, and they never seem to be able to stick to their words or they just aren't dependable...

Excuses seem to always drive some peoples lives. As long as they don't take full responsibility for their own actions, excuses are always there to give them a sense of escapism. Its always the easy way out. And out of all the excuses that I have heard, "I was drunk is one of the most cowardly excuses." It says the most about a person, that they are unwilling to take any responsibility of their actions, just blame it on other things. I've been hearing that more and more often as an excuse, and if you ask me its sad. Everyone seems to be lacking a pair of balls, and admitting what they have done. People step up, stop hiding behind alcohol!

There are a lot of other issues that I want to write about, and just haven't gotten to it in a while, but I will slowly but surely, fill up my ideas over the next few days, so expect to hear a lot more from me... Irritated, pissed off on many occations, and really hating the world from time to time, haha expect some good posts in the next few weeks.... For now its time to take a pause, tune in again for some new action...

Weird Happenings

Going through some posts and I realise that the other has several draft posts that were never published!  They don't appear to be in the blog in any other form.  Maybe I'll publish them?  They were a good read.

Anyhow, busy night tonight, and I'm feeling absolutely rank.  I should head off.


BITCH BITCH BITCH.  Fuck you.


Joaquin out.

Surly Bitches & Other Obstacles To Happiness

I feel sick, I am coming down with something at the moment.  It would be nice to rest and try to sleep it off, but I just can't.  Too much going on in my head.  I just want to curl up in bed and never wake up.  Now that would be bliss.  But bliss cannot exist without existence, can it?


So much is going on in your life, and you're pulling away?  What is to become of me?  Will you discard me, just like the rest?  I know you talk to other people, and I am fast becoming nothing to you.  Why are you filled with so much malice towards me?  I'm going to pay in blood.


Joaquin out.

Structured Madness

The thing about traveling for work is that most of what I do relates to the other side of the country. So if I need to attend a meeting for like 2 hours, then I have to travel for an entire day there and back. Ah, the tyranny of distance. Oh well, at least it stops me from being bored at work. Always have to remember to charge my phone the night before I travel because the battery certainly gets a workout. I'm facebooking and twittering and SMSing like there's no tomorrow (let's not forget whatspp). The thing is I can't check tumblr because of how much battery and data it will drain, and I can't check it on a public computer, because some numpties always manage to post porn.

I'm sitting in the Qantas club at the moment. For the benefit of our international readers, it is the loyalty club available to people who fly with Qantas airlines. What I don't understand is that the club tries so hard to fit so many people into the club. There's frequent flyer programs, as well as paid membership, corporate membership etc. The funny thing I've found is that all the bogans and scum that you typically want to get away from are now to be found in places such as this! Exclusivity knows other bounds (I'll get to this later). The best part is, the regular part of the terminal is all relatively empty and I'm free to just walk around and look in shops or at planes. Much better than the bullshit awful food they have there (though I won't fault their net service). I'm only here because of work, don't think I'd enter into such facism of my own accord thank you. Ok, Qantas club. The thing about it is that anyone can join, and now people are unhappy with that (well the typical rich folk) because they cannot have people to look down on. So they have additional clubs! There's the first class lounge, and not only that, there's a Chairman's lounge! Discrimination knows no bounds! It's not enough to pay for a fucking flight with decent service anymore, is it??

I can't believe I'm typing all this out from an iMac, I feel so dirty! Especially after buying a new awesome computer. I've decided that my next computer purchase will be ridiculous. I will buy the absolute top of the line machine, regardless of how much it costs. I will put it together just so I can see how things are done, or I can learn how to do it, so I know how the different parts of my computer work. I know very well that it won't be the top of the line machine for long, but I just want to splurge once and do it. I wonder if it will run everything I want it to, at maximum settings?? Haha, we will see.

Oh for fuck's sake! There is a guy here on his LAPTOP in front of an iMac. What's he doing? Not work, he's on facebook! Goddamn, it is a pervasive influence on our lives. Hackers always take down sites of no meaning or relevance, such as banks, Defence, NASA, or government websites. Why can't they do something of merit, like taking down Facebook or Twitter? Now that I'd like to see! And I'm sure it would get a message across, especially after millions of idiots (myself included) chuck a tantrum about not knowing every goddamn thing about every goddamn person you know (and those you don't know, but want to know)!

Fark, it's going to be a long day. Still on to another city where I wait in transit for several hours before finally coming home some time late tonight. I could do with another day off.

Ah, I just need to get out of here.

Just a day where I'm left questioning the purpose of my very existence.

If I dropped dead right now, would anyone really give a shit? Who knows, really? Nobody knows till it actually happens, and by then, it's too late.

Got an hour till my flight takes off, just killing time posting blog notes to myself. Sounds like fun!

I'd really like to just float on my back in the ocean, not a care in the world. Somewhere warm, somewhere away from everyone and everything. I hate my job, I hate my life. I can't find a redeeming feature about anything. I can't even find the beauty in nature or in the little things that I used to. What kind of existence is this? How long am I supposed to fake it for? Fuck it, just fuck it.

Why the hell don't you talk to me anymore? I know you're there. You pull away and you hurt me. Are you punishing me? I know I deserve it, but it still hurts, you know.  Being involved with you was the worst mistake I could have ever made. If I had known what sort of impact it was going to have on us, even at this point in time, I don't know if I could ever go along with it. Then again, it wasn't ever really my choice, was it? Has that ever happened to anyone? So in love with someone that when things went ass up, it affected you for the rest of your life? Pain that never went away? That was never dulled with time? It only ate away at you as time wore on? That made you bitter and twisted and angry and dangerous? That's happening to me right now. It's been festering for quite some time. Rotting away the very core of my soul.

Joaquin out.

Apprehensive

Cause I have to travel tomorrow. I wonder why. I'm usually always happy to travel. What a waste of a day really.


So what did you do all day? Why didn't you reply? You are shutting me out, I know it. You and her are in cahoots, I know it. Or maybe that's the paranoia talking.

So Basically, That's It?

Just no motivation for anything really! Can't be bothered going to the gym, or even getting up in the mornings. I just want to stay there and forget the world. That or play some Shogun 2! It looks effing amazing with all the settings turned up. Hell, even Rome Total War looks amazing! I've also got a weird issue where my Patriot Pyro 60 GB SSD has windows 7 Home Premium 64 bit installed, but I have only 12 gig free on the SSD! What the hell?! I thought Windows 7 was only 7 gig! Nothing else is installed on it, how very weird!

Public holiday tomorrow, and traveling on Thursday, so I might not be able to post until Friday. Maybe I'll hit up some Blogger+, we'll see!


Lost in a kiss. I remember. A kiss so perfect that I lost all semblance of individuality and I became the kiss, with you. I melted into you. It was the best kiss I've ever had. You. You, I shall talk to tomorrow. Will you come home? Will I see you?


Joaquin out.

By The Sea

Man, I had forgotten how much of a pain it is to have a computer. The computer is running fine and everything, but it's just the matter of putting everything on there. First, there's the shitty problem of having to sync my iPhone with iTunes again, since there's no pairing record. This basically involved me having to put all my apps on the comp and then delete all my music and then re-upload it to my phone! That took ages!! On top of that, my Steam profile seems to have disappeared. So basically all my saved progress from Modern Warfare 3 (and 2) is gone, so I don't have my favoured weapons or anything like that. Yet somehow, my achievements are still there. I bought GTA SA (YES), just so I can have glory days, and Shogun 2. Though I have to admit that Shogun 2 is a bit silly, since you have to download about 25 gig of updates before even starting the game! Luckily, I am with an ISP that offers unmetered content off Steam. Am absolutely loving
the new speakers though - the Logitech Z906s. They're definitely not Z5500s, but they're still pretty decent.

One thing I will never understand is parents who have criminals for children, and they seem absolutely unrepentent about it, and will still love their children no matter what. My opinion is that if you have raised a person who is a considerable cost for society, then you have failed. I don't care if they're your children, each generation should strive to be better than the last. So the thought that someone could still love a failure of a horrible person is absolutely disgusting.

This week is going to be tough, and it's only Monday! Travel for work later on, and a strange public holiday in the middle of the week! It's going to mess up my sleeping pattern, that's for sure.

I think the blog introspective is due soon. When that occurs, I won't be posting for a while, since it will take me a hell of a long time to read all the posts, maybe over a week or so, but I'll let you know when that occurs. It's been a while! I also swear that I posted on previous introspectives, but I can't seem to find the posts. I should have tagged them, cause now I have no freakin' idea where they are, or whether I just made the whole thing up in my head.

On that note, Blogger, what the hell?! What is with the new look?! Yes, I understand that the new look was coming for some time, but it is really not user-friendly! I just wanna check my stats, post, and
occasionally edit stuff! Now it's an odeal to get through. Another thing, why oh why does it default to inputting through HTML rather than in text? Most people don't know how to program in HTML, they just want to write posts! Silly Blogger, get your act together! Though, admittedly, they have improved the service from what it used to be, I'll give them props for that.

Don't you think games these days are much easier than they used to be? I mean these days it's all about rechargeable health and wiping out vast hordes of enemies for little payback, but I remember in old games it'd be like 3 shots and you'd be dead. Now you just take a hit, run off and come back and kick some ass.

Anyhow, I'd better end it there.

Joaquin out

Opening Gambit

Isn't the evolution of civilisation a very interesting thing? You think about where we were just a few hundred years ago, and where we are now, and it just appears like we've reached the 'ratchet' point of how society develops. We're developing so fast, with the vast majority of it happening relatively recently (compared to how long humans have been around). I mean, even from the 1980's to now, things have changed drastically. Society is just changing so rapidly that it's almost hard to recognise it, because if you don't engage, it leaves you behind. Then I think to myself, I wonder why I exist now, at this point in time. I want to see the future, just to observe it, not even to be part of it. What happens to us? Surely people who lived thousands of years ago believed they were living in the epoch of human knowledge and endeavour, but I know there's so much more we can do from here. I'd like to see it all, just to see, not to interfere.

So I finally got my new comp, but I'm looking at it in the box and I don't really know if I can be bothered to take it out! There's so much crap in there. But I suppose I'll have to, just cause I'm taking my current comp to my folks place tomorrow to set it up. Hope they're happy with it. But I know for my next PC I'm definitely just going to order parts and build it myself, just to see what it's like.

I saw an interesting graphic on tumblr yesterday, I think it was through shortformblog which explained that people (namely idiots aka conservatives) have problems distinguishing between immigration and illegal immigration. In their eyes, all immigration is illegal. That is absolutely stupid. People who think like that should be strung up by the genitals and eviscerated. Everyone is an immigrant to some extent. You can't just arbitrarily put a line in the sand and then say anyone else who comes is illegal. It wreaks of greed and entitlement.

I don't know if I blogged about it before, but I was inspired about an article I read about a gay asian man who had an issue about a lot of gay guys having a discrimintary attitude towards gay men, due to a perceived lack of masculinity. He then asked whether such thing was racist, or whether it's just a personal preference thing, since you can't control who you are sexually attracted to. I thought this was an incredibly interesting article - of course transposing it to a heterosexual setting. I'd be inclined to think that sexual preference for a race is racist. Let's take this a step further. People are attracted to things - eyes, breasts, legs, whatever you will. People of all races have these things! Ok, let's say I like busty women. Asian women are stereotypically regarded as being slightly built, but that's complete bullshit. You can get different body structures across all races. I've seen stacks of busty asian women. Therefore, if you are inclined to say "oh I like long legs, but I don't find african women attractive" then I'd say that's pretty racist, because you can get tall african women. The inverse is also true, if you would say something along the lines of 'I like brown eyes, but I am not sexually attracted to white people' then you are foolish. You can of course get brown eyes across caucasian people. I'd say that if you aren't attracted to all races, then you are racist. It's not a question of personal preference, it's a question of what society has told us is attractive, and made us believe that's what we want. Speaking from a biological standpoint, you should be attracted to all races! The only question is whether the person is a gender that you can mate with. If not, there's something very wrong with your psyche, and you could be a latent racist (the worst kind). Then again, what about the counter-argument - people are gay because they are born that way. I agree with that assessment, so are some people just born not to find certain races sexually attractive? I think it can be distinguished on the basis that race and gender are separate things. Gender is primary to your sexuality, whereas race is not.


I recall that game of chess. Haha, we were both naked and in my bed and decided to play a match. I was winning comfortably, but as end game neared, I made mistake upon mistake. I lost pieces without thinking about my move, you countered so well. We ended up drawing. It annoyed me and it intrigued me. I'm a beginner, but until that point, I had yet to draw a match or lose one. You played well.


Joaquin out.

Gosh Forsaken Heck-Hole

It's been yet another busy day for me at work, so again, not much to say today. Haha, but the way I've been going lately, I'm sure I wouldn't have had much to say with a totally lazy day.

Just looking to run out the clock so I can sit at home and watch some game of thrones! Haha, I should stop railing about how good it is, or else it will become mainstream. But then again, it would be the first time I've ever been ahead of the curve in terms of bandwagonism, since I've always been VERY late to the party on everything else.

What is it about the number of people you've had sex with? I don't say slept with, because sleeping with someone and having sex with someone are very different things! But when you think about your number, don't you always wish it was higher? Or that could be because I'm speaking as a guy. Are girls any different? Well yes, I do wish my number was higher, but what can you do really? It shouldn't even really matter, if you have found the right one, then 1 is the perfect number!

I got my computer, finally!! I'll post on it tomorrow!

Nothing else for today folks.

Joaquin out.

XOXO

It has been a ridiculously busy day at work, so apologies for the lack of substance in this post. Then again, I've realised that I might have lost my touch when it comes to writing, and I don't think posts of late (especially this year), have matched the quality of older posts. But that's probably due to other factors that you can probably guess. But regardless, I'll soldier on and keep posting. It's not
about you folk, it's about me!

I think I've lost the ability to write! Or even fucking communicate. Not bad for a guy with two degrees which are largely dependent on my ability to communicate! Fucking hell!

You know, I think I'm much fitter than I used to be in school. When I was younger, I found it quite hard to run more than 200-400 metres. Now I can run 2 kilometres at a pretty blistering pace and not break a sweat. I wonder why that is.

I'm really getting into Game of Thrones! Great tv, and I'm down with the nudity, haha!


I recall you saying something about how you knew I enjoyed that you looked after yourself. Yes, that makes me sound horribly superficial, but it is true. I enjoyed that you looked after your body and I was able to reap my rewards from it. But it wasn't just that, I enjoyed everything about you. You fell into that nasty cliche of a woman with dramas and excitement who kept my life interesting, even when things were going bad. But I still loved you anyway.


Anyway I have nothing else to say right now.

Joaquin out.

The Days When I Had Something To Say

I am going to have to engage in a blog retrospective this year! Quite frankly, it has been far too long since I read over everything. It takes longer and longer each year, of course, but I don't mind. It's good for some introspection.

The place I ordered my computer from is ridiculously incompetent. I put a deposit down on it a month ago, and the idiots still have yet to build it! Apparently it will be ready tomorrow, but I am going to do some incredible yelling before hand! The price of parts has dropped in the mean time and I keep being told that some parts are missing when they are actually in stock. Punks!

What's the value of a secret? Something so deep you could never tell anyone? But doesn't that cheapen the nature of friendship? Something to consider, I suppose.

Man, Tumblr is annoying! It gets updated so much, I'm only following 32 people, but it just takes AGES to trawl through that stuff, especially overnight. At least with twitter (following about 60 or so people), it's all limited to 140 characters! But Tumblr is pics! So many pics!

Anyway, I'll keep it brief for tonight.

Joaquin out.

Feedback In The Mirror

Crazy weekend just now. Couldn't sleep at all, so I was going to bed at like 5am both days. Then on Sunday I woke up at 3pm. Then didn't sleep at all last night, and it's Monday today! Goddamn, this is insane. Glad I'm not working where I used to, or else I'd be screwed right now.

Been getting into Game of Thrones. It's quite good! I'm usually not a fan of the fantasy genre, as I do like my medieval stuff with a bit of history interlaced, but this is just so rich in character and depth.

On the advice of the other (whose advice is always good), I have been getting into Tumblr. It's very alternative and interesting, it's like a cross between blogger and twitter, but slightly more creative. My only gripe is that it is impossible to search for people on Tumblr. It only returns exact results (i.e. urls) or you can only search by genre, which is quite difficult. Ah, social media, you are taking
over my life!

So what's better I ask you? To work a job you love and not be paid very much for it, or to be paid a lot and be utterly bored and hate your job? I think you can guess which category I am currently in.

"You should stop, because I'm going to cum" - and why exactly is that bad?! Haha, refer to previous posts on this topic!


It was good to talk to you and get a lot of grievances out in the open and finally get past a lot of them. It drove home a few important facts for me. I guess primarily that it was my fault the relationship broke down, and the fact that we are where we are today was because I could not do what I wanted and make you happy. But I guess I have to live the rest of my life with that on my conscience, which is exactly what I deserve.


Joaquin out.

Or Do I Really?

I don't know.

We are so venomous towards each other.

Hurt

Cause I now know the truth.

You Is

Spirit of a goddess
Body of a model
Mind of a genius
Mouth of a whore
Arms like a mother
Heart of an angel

Timeless
Strong, yet so fragile.

I love you.

If I Can Remember How To Hate, I Can Remember How To Love

I remember a long time ago in college I was having GF issues. So I enlisted Lizzy's advice as to how to change my situation. She informed me that the best thing to do was just ignore the gf. I thought this was incredibly odd, but nevertheless, I listened. I ignored her and then BAM, I had an in and the GF came running back and was sorry for anything she did. This really horrified me! Why do women cave in when they get ignored? It taps into something related to female issues of abandonment and resource allocation. This is why women tend to get more upset over things such as emotional cheating compared to actual physical cheating. Play hard to get, or just
ignore her, it works, and that's terrible! Women, why are you so complicated yet easily manipulated? I just don't understand.

Had an interesting discussion at work about economic models. I don't pretend to understand economics. There's only a few basic principles I understand, and most of what I've learned about economics has been derived from Freakonomics. But what we discussed related to growth not being able to be constant in any model. If the system is infallible, then of course world superpowers would change over time. This is proven true by reference to previous rulers and dynasties - Roman Empire, Ottoman, Mongol Empire, British etc. What we're seeing now is the gradual decline of Western superpowers. Economic principles have determined that growth is stagnant in these places, and that other places have to pick up the dormant slack in the market and carry on. It's all just part of a cycle, really. What I don't get is why people think that these things will last forever. Do Americans really think that their world standing will always be where it is? I bet the Romans thought the same thing, until one day, it just wasn't there anymore. Then again, the Romans could not have destroyed the world at the push of a button...

Damn it! I was just in a meeting and came up with some very good things to write about, and now that I'm back at my desk, I have promptly forgotten what I was going to say.

I read an interesting article in the Sydney Morning Herald (again, I need to stop reading that) which mentioned in passing the recent building of video game arcade out of boxes by a kid during his holidays. Apparently he is from a low income family, so had to attend work with his father during his school holidays. The article mentioned that if he was a middle class kid, his holidays would be overpacked with a stupid amount of activities to keep him occupied. That's the problem, if he did fall into the middle class stereotype, he wouldn't have had the time to spark his creative interest. Then again, things are also a bit tenuous with the working class, because
if kids cannot have an outlet for anything, then they will turn to crime (though I'm sure this is true of any person, it is not class specific).

From where I am, I can see the moon in a clear blue sky.

So what's the deal with this One Direction media hysteria? I laugh because they recently came to Australia and a lot of teenage girls are doing the teenage girl thing of screaming and just acting without an iota of common sense. But what seemed to be really interesting was the way in which their fans react to news of having girlfriends or showing interest in girls. Apparently there is quite vicious abuse
across social media, and directed in person to the subject of their desires. But it doesn't stop there, there are death threats and various other nasty things said. I think parents are enablers of this kind of behaviour. A lot of the time parents facilitate their children's behaviours by not setting boundaries and so on, so in the
event that one of these girls goes stir crazy and kills a girlfriend of a member of one direction, I say blame the parents. Not only that, these things are just a phase, and they will fall out of the spotlight soon. Girls will grow up and their tastes will change, and they will become just like Hanson (who are incidentally also touring Australia now, but lacked the same hysteria that they used to generate).

What I will never understand is the human default position to accept the status quo. Why do people work like they do (i.e. work jobs that they hate), to scrape together a living? The paradigm at the moment doesn't make sense. Will humanity ever rise up and seize its own future? Will people just live life and do what they want to do? It is possible, yes, but not under the current capitalist system, not unless you exploit people to manufacture things for you cheaply, when you can sell it for high prices after marketing it to idiots who think they can't live life without your product.

I've gotta say, I've been getting down with Tumblr lately and it's good! Just wish they would make it easier to find people!

Has anyone seen the prequel Star Wars films? Haha, of course you have! Do you remember Coruscant? It's the planet that is entirely made up of a large sprawling city. It's just a planet city! I think eventually Earth will head in that direction. If we keep populating the planet, it will lead to far too many people with not enough land for each person. We are seeing the shrinking of agricultural land and the expansion of cities as the country areas are slowly but surely abandoned. It's a possibility, yes, but how unsustainable would that be?

Some points to ponder!

Joaquin out.

Blasting Projectiles Of Hate

So it's old news that Facebook has purchased Instagram for $1 billion. This has set off a lot of alarm bells, as it is a crapload of money to pay for a company whose product doesn't make any real profit. It has recently been discovered that Facebook applications on mobiles have been surreptitiously running in the background (even when closed) to collect data from people's phones, such as through texts and e-mails. It is also no secret that computer based versions of Facebook also mine your data. Instagram collects information about users such as locations and what not. Facebook usually can't access this sort of stuff, so it would make sense to pay a significant amount of cash in order to gain even more information that your application could not ordinarily possess. Smart move! Damn you Zuckerberg! He is like an evil genius. Not just that, the Instagram folk are incredibly rich now, considering how little the development lead in time took, and how long the application has been on the market. But good on them! If only I could program! But the other can!

Had a good time playing guitar on some pretty old songs of ours last night. What's better is that they're all unfinished ideas. I think there is something there that could be worked on! In fact a lot of stuff! I've been paying attention to the lyrics of all the older stuff, and I think we have to finish stuff! Just working on one thing at a time and we can knock them over. Looking forward to playing some
of the recent stuff tonight. The other has managed to capture a lot of where I am right now.

I wish it were Friday already! I'm looking forward to just sitting on the couch with my vanilla coke and watching good game.

I've got to buy Grand Theft Auto IV and GTA San Andreas again when I get my new computer. I had pirated versions before, but since I enjoyed the games so much, I think I would be happy to pay for them, even though they won't be played very much. I want to see how they look on a high end machine. I'm listening to Mr Fingers - Can You Feel It and I'm resminiscing about just cruising around San Andreas at night listening to the House radio station and just bloody enjoying it. It's been a while since I've been able to enjoy anything.

I've also been getting back into watching movies when time permits. It's a welcome distraction from life I suppose. I'm also looking to finish the last lot of books that were given to me so I can get on to stuff that I actually want to read!

Just thinking about a hilarious story I remember from a few years back. A group of friends and I were in an overpriced pretentious lounge bar for drinks and Lazza brought up an issue of guys buying things for girls in a social setting. Now, speaking from personal experience, I am happy to buy stuff for friends, regardless of gender when out, be it drinks, movie tickets, food etc. But why do girls get
so uptight when you offer to buy something for them? They usually don't accept and will give you some money. Lazza said that her mother had told her "when a guy buys you something, he expects sex" and she stands by that. Do all girls think that? I definitely don't expect it! I'm not even thinking about it. It's not about being some white knightesque style douchebag, because I do it for all my friends. Frankly, I find it a bit insulting.

Read an interesting article in the Sydney Morning Herald today about piracy. The article claimed that piracy is driven by hyper consumerism. I have to say that is a point I agree with. Modern capitalist society teaches us that if we work hard, we should be entitled to purchase that which we want. However, output is so grand
it is virtually impossible to actually afford to buy the things you want (or advertised that you should have), that piracy seems like a legitimate prospect. Even factoring in inflation, stuff like music was much cheaper all up of 30 years ago. But now artists release less songs per album, but put out albums on an almost annual basis, and the price of these things has skyrocketed (let's ignore MP3 formats here).
When more artists are being promoted and the mass media basically mindfucking the public, you feel that you have to have more! So of course people will turn to things such as piracy in order to feel satisfied.

Society just wants us to have everything, but neglect the things that really matter, like personal development (if unrelated to job skills), and family time and travel. Gosh, I really need to get home and pee.

Also, if you get the chance, read this blog:

Click Me!

Randomly stumbled across it and it's a great read! Think you'll enjoy it, it's written by a very clever person who is great with words, and it's written with a lot of humour and a lot of heart.


What's that? A post without mentioning you? Yeah, you're damn right, bitch.


Joaquin out

Waiting For Catch-Ups That Will Never Come

Just now realising that I've lost all my guitar-related bookmarks and my guitar pro files! Damn it! But at least that is other people's music, it's not as important as my own, which are safely dropboxed away. I'll regain them slowly, as I get my new computer and sort my crap out. Have also just recently got into Tumblr, which is apparently where all the cool kids took off to after Twitter became too mainstream. The other has made a tumblr theme which is used by an absolute stash of people, and the other is still nice enough to give them tips on how to change the theme to suit their needs. Tumblr is a hard platform for a new person to use, but I'm sure I'll get used to it, as I did with Twitter.

The weather around here has taken a turn for the worse lately, and I just want to stay in bed and not leave. It's just damn freezing, and I hate it! I can take the heat, but the cold is another thing entirely.

Girls who smoke. Can't stand them. It's not just the unhealthy thing, it's the smell and the fact that it's a pervasive influence everywhere you go. Always have to take cigarettes with you. Have to have a break for a cigarette etc. Not only that, it alters the way people look. It tends to hit women harder, as you can always tell who smokes just by looking at their skin. All smokers look older than they really are, and that's a shame, because it's only going to get more pronounced as people get older!


Why can't I get over this? You stupid bitch! You would be the first one telling me to grow up and get over it. Well fuck you! You are the one who cut me out of your life. You are making less time for me, deliberately. I can do the same thing to you. It doesn't mean I'll stop thinking about you, but maybe some time in silence will vindicate me. I fucking HATE how you came and turned my life upside down. You made me question everything, and I mean EVERYTHING. Who I am, what I believe in. What I wanted. And it was you. And nothing else. Ordinarily, that would be great, but not when it happened.


That's enough ranting for one night. Joaquin out.

Killer King

The computer is finally up and running after being repaired. Only a few days more until I have my new comp. The annoying thing about having a computer failure is not just the general loss of data, it's the crap I should have backed up that I forgot to! Things like my bookmarks, game save files and my warm up file for guitar! Damn it, I have everything else backed up except for that. I've also lost my blognotes, which just consisted of a few updates to the Joaquin Rate List (JRL). But it's just those little things, you know! I should have dropboxed things like that. Oh well, takes the loss of this to make me realise what I need to do with the new comp.

However, being without games is not so much of an issue, I don't play that much these days anyway. If I didn't have to give my computer to my parents, I probably wouldn't have bought a new rig. I'm just annoyed by the latest updates to software that I've used. Let's take Winamp! Why the hell does the latest version not play WMA? You sons of bitches!!! This would not have happened if Justin Frankel was still in charge! Nullsoft, you are now crap. Why would an audio player not play very common audio files? I'm going to have to find an older version of Winamp now, in order to play some of my other songs. Also, iTunes!! Apple, you motherfuckers! My computer was stuffed, so I had to reinstall iTunes! SO WHY THE FUCK WON'T YOU LET ME JUST ADD
SONGS TO MY iPHONE WITHOUT HAVING TO RE-SYNC MY ENTIRE LIST TO THIS iTUNES?! Goddamn, I just want to put one song on there, and for that, I will have to lose and then re-add all my songs to my phone. Incredibly retarded system.

Apologies for the lack of posts over that long weekend, but without a computer it is just too time consuming to type out posts on Blogger+ on my phone. Then again, I didn't have much to say, I was feeling incredibly sick, and I'm sure I'm coming down with something now. Also apologies for the lack of formatting. Typing stuff up on notepad and then sending it to my phone makes it look good on notepad, and possibly on a mobile format, but definitely not on a real computer monitor!

Damn it! I had some good ideas to write about over the long weekend, but of course I cannot remember them now. I'll get a new blognotes going, though.


Argh! I just want to see you so much, just so I can tell you that I hate you. I hate you so much. And we talked so much about how you cannot really hate that which you could not also love. And how true that is for you and I. Wow, the things I would tell you. Yikes, I was reminded of the B&B all that time ago. That was a wonderful day, I wish it had lasted for longer. We totally trashed that bed. I had
no sleep that night, I didn't care. Gosh, who would have thought that my life would be over before I hit 30? And still some years to go. I suppose writing is cathartic at least.


I'm too tired for any more of this.

Joaquin out.

I've Said It Once, I've Said It A Thousand Times...

Patricia Heaton has Ray's wife on Everybody Loves Raymond is ridiculously sexy.

I'm Back

And more blogging to come. Just you wait and see!

Just Too Carefree For The Likes Of Me

After yesterday's brilliance, I am now short on ideas to blog! There
have been a few additions to the Joaquin Rate List (JRL), but until
the computer is up and running, I can't update it. The computer
repair guy is coming today to check out the problem, but I don't hold
out a lot of hope - he thinks he will need to take it back to his
place to fix it. This is annoying because my internet rolls over this
weekend, and I still have 20gig to go! That and I don't know what
sort of work is being undertaken, considering these guys charge on an
hourly basis. We'll see what happens.

Heading away for the weekend at this point, so there won't be anything
substantive from me at this point.

I just feel like locking myself in a tiny room and just playing mean,
mean blues guitar.

I've been watching Samurai X, and I gotta say, everything after the
Shishio arc absolutely sucks. At least I'm only 4 episodes from the
end. Then I can delete it from my hard drive.

And like I've said before, it's not so easy when the phone doesn't
ring. I don't even get messages anymore. Maybe I should just get rid
of my phone once my contract is up? I got a phone quite late, when I
was 18, and it has been nothing but a bane since I've had one. Just
another thing to carry that I probably don't need. I can always go
back to my Samsung YHj70 for my music. That was a good machine.

I'll never understand why NatCat stopped being friends with me. The
defriend on facebook was interesting, but she just cut me out totally.
What's even weirder is that I see her every now and then in the city
and when she spots me she seems all embarrassed and ashamed. It's
something I just don't get. I would have thought it would be
something that is relegated to just females, but guys have also just
stopped talking to me. I wonder what the hell it is?

Why am I so self-loathing lately? I can't do it. I just hate myself
so much. Such malice can't be good for me. Hell, it can't be good
for you either. Look at what I'm turning into! Goddamn, just sit and
look, it's not what I want to be! I just need out, out out.


So what the fuck? You say you're too busy to talk to me, yet I know
you just sit at home in the evenings doing nothing, or during the day
just sitting on google chat. Too busy talking to your asshole friends
who just want to sleep with you? I'm sure you have plenty of time to
entertain them. Guess it wasn't so hard for you to fall out of love
with me. I'm turning into a version of Gollum from Lord of the Rings,
and you are the one ring. How I love you and hate you. Maybe I'll be
a different person when you see me again.

But who knows, right?


Joaquin out.

Modern Warfare 4: Incentives To Win

In light of my semi-recent readings on Freakonomics and
Superfreakonomics (again, props to the other for introducing me to the
books), I was thinking yesterday about incentivised warfare. Let's
say that a smaller country was invaded by a larger one. It would make
sense that the larger country would prevail on the strength of numbers
in its military force. However, let's just say that the smaller
country offered incentives to its citizens to capture or kill enemy
combatants. Just imagine how quick the tide of battle would turn if
things such as cash rewards, or real property, or tax breaks were
offered for proof of bodies? At the moment, fighting is (typically)
limited to people who want to fight just because they want to. They
are either paid for it, or they have a point to prove (terrorists
etc). People don't fight as a means of reward via incentives. I mean
some batshit nutcases in the US army have been documented as
collecting body parts as souvenirs and what not, but in reality, these
things are of no real value. Start offering people money for dead
bodies, and it's all fantastic. Armies cannot usually engage
civilians in standard rules of engagement, so it would be a very
interesting scenario.

Aiming to look into the computer situation tonight. Just going to
open up the case and see how dusty things are, as well as to see
whether there's any loose cables on the motherboard or on the hard
drive connection to the motherboard. If Windows XP is corrupt, I
wonder if I will be able to salvage anything off my desktop - at least
hopefully I can! Doesn't matter if I need to format at some point or
reinstall windows. Though I am curious as to how my XP became
corrupted. Then again, it may just be a mobo issue. Picking up my
new computer next weekend. Still also looking to offload my bike this
week, which would be handy, cause it would pay for my computer, as
well as the repairs to the existing machine.

Then again, I'm also enjoying this time without the computer, I do
recall that in Sydney before I bought a new machine, I was just
enjoying watching tv from time to time, as well as playing Fifa 2004
on my Xbox (not to mention Halo, and loving every second of it). I
just found I had more free time for stuff rather than being chained to
my desk for no reason at all basically. Hmm, let's aim to keep this
relatively short today. I'm also just playing guitar with no scales
or exercises. Just playing things I enjoy, and it's fun!


So what is going on? It has been days and I do not know if you are ok
or well. I know you've gone home, but how. I feel abandoned, and I
wonder if I'm the one who gets the least amount of your time and
attention now. I'm sure you'll just say that you were busy, but
really, can you not spare 5 fucking seconds of your day to say that
you're ok? And I wish I did not care, but I do, and that cannot be
helped. It's like you want to get rid of me from your life. And I
know you don't think about me. I know you don't care about me and
that really pisses me off. I'm not as selfless as I was before, not
after knowing you.


Joaquin out.

There Seems To Be A Lot Of Leather For This Less Than Fair Weather

As you have probably guessed, I have been blogging lately from
Blogger+ on my iPhone, which is a pretty nifty program. It's hard to
find GOOD free blogging software, so I decided to spend a few bucks to
get this, and I am happy with the functionality. It will never beat
being at a computer, but it certainly is the next best thing,
especially on the move. All I'm doing is writing my comments up in
notepad from my work computer when I get a spare moment, and then
e-mailing them through, so I can copy and paste them on my phone when
I get home. Good system!

Getting interesting weather lately, where it's cold in the mornings
and evenings, but it is very warm and mellow during the day. Haha,
here I am talking about the weather, what boring blogging fodder!

Aren't periods funny things? Putting aside the psychological changes
that occur to women when they happen, there's also the physical
changes. A lot of women get very aroused during these times, but they
are also feeling disgusting and unsexy - it's an unfair world right?
Haha.

In reference to the most recent post before this - I knew a girl
called Kristi many years ago. I usually don't dream about people that
I know, so it was odd that I had her in my subconscious.

Anyhow, Joaquin out.

Kristi

Is it worrying that I still dream about you?

Victim Of My Own Crimes

Hardware failures are actually quite common. It's never happened to
me before, so I figure it's probably my turn to have one. Hard drive
or my motherboard has bought the farm, and I'm getting boot up errors.
My keyboard is unresponsive in boot up, so I can't select safe mode
(I don't have a PS/2 keyboard), and my computer just stays on the
loading Windows XP screen and nothing happens. Then I hear this weird
buzzing sound, like the CPU is working over time, and then after a
while (maybe 20 minutes), the computer has a quick blue screen of
death (I didn't even know you could have one outside of windows),
before resetting and refusing to go past the boot procedure anymore.
I'm looking forward to getting my new comp even more now! But first I
need to get this thing fixed so my parents can have a decent computer,
and so I can save some stuff off my hard drive. I've got a feeling
that either Windows is corrupt, or the motherboard or the hard drive.
Researching computer repair places as we speak.


Feeling like I've been left alone. I knew you were not well, but I
wish you had told me that so I didn't wait all day to hear from you.
It kind of feels like I've been tossed aside, and I meditate on these
two issues: where are you, and what are you doing? For someone as
clingy as me, being apart from you is not good. I wish I was a better
person so I could let things like this go. I hate looking at maps of
this town, because I'm reminded of all the places we've been, and the
places you've gone without me. Places with him where you've enjoyed
yourself without me. In fact, I just hate this place. I hate this
town, I'm sick of this life. I just need out. Out please?


Having an interesting conversation at work. The stereotype is for
women to call out their partners names during sex, but do guys call
out their partners names? That brings up several questions. Are guys
always required to do all the work in the bedroom? Can girls be
counted on to be "that good" enough so that they can bring out the
same level of pleasure in a guy? Haha ok, well speaking from
experience, yes I have, but I wonder what the rest of you think?

Joaquin out