Does anyone know what they're doing in 5 years? As in, what is their 5 year plan? I hate getting asked that question, because I really don't know what I want to be doing. All I can tell you is that it's not this. Work is killing my spirit. Life is just killing my spirit. I didn't choose this, why must I be here? How does anyone know what the future has in store? And 5 years is a long time when you think about it, but I'm sure it can just pass by in the blink of an eye when you compare it to your entire life. How is anyone supposed to know? You can't really control life, can you? What good is your life- what value is it worth when all you have to look forward to is tasting the unopened bottle of orange juice tomorrow? That's not enjoying the little things, that's being stuck in the mundane, with no hope of escape.
I'm looking forward to getting back to getting back into Chivalry Medieval Warfare. Got the update last night and played it a bit - it seems very smooth. Loving the fisticuffs map, too. But 20 mins for that is pretty long. As a result, didn't get to play as much guitar as I wanted, but that's ok. I'll get into it this weekend. That and some gameage.
What you're reading here is the blog of someone who doesn't matter. Someone like you. This life has no bearing on the world. Not even in an imperceptible way. What of it? Is there no common thread pulling us all together? Or maybe it's what's driving us apart?
Excellent, only 1 hour to go before the week is done. It would be easier to deal with if my chest would stop hurting. I don't know why the pain has returned. I thought I slept ok last night.
The fruit is bountiful, yet the water runs dry.
I just need to relax. Relax and just let it all pass me by. Relax until there is nothing left of me. I'm here just fading away.
Does any of this make sense? To anyone? Cause it doesn't even make sense to me, and I'm the one writing it, so I don't know how the hell anyone else is meant to make any sense out of these ramblings!
Only a little while longer, just have to hold on through all of it.
To crouch down and hide, and not be counted.
Joaquin out.
