From Stalingrad To Hiroshima, We Bring The Peace

What a fallacy. There's a lot of darkness and stupidity and ignorance out in the world today. But the question I ask of you is what you intend to do about it? Or will you just let the status quo reign? What if I am waging war with myself, and it is actually taking a considerable amount of my will to actually conform to this kind of life? This kind of life I don't even want?! What puzzles me is that there's an entire sphere of influence that I am completely blind to and I wonder how that could be. There's just an entirety of a universe that I don't know and that I'm just not aware of. Everything is news to me.


Woke up this morning feeling dismal, so I didn't even bother going to the gym, and I'm feeling it now, that's for sure. But better that then go to the gym and get really sick. Probably been eating way too much lately. I don't like the idea of overindulgence. It doesn't speak well for you as an individual, but it's also a slap in the face of so many others in the world who cannot live as well. For those who say they could if they tried, I would call them liars. There are places in the world where nobody has a chance in hell of succeeding or living well, and you have no choice but to escape and live somewhere else.


But what is success? You look around and see all these ridiculously priced houses and apartments, for sale and rent, and you wonder just how many successful people are out there. By success I mean rich and famous, or maybe just rich. Fame doesn't really count for much. But how could there be such a market unless there were so many people who had all this money? And then how sick does it make you feel when you realise that for every one of them, there are like hundreds of people who are doing it tough. That's just not right. The wealth is distributed amongst so very few, and there is no justice or fairness or equality in that.


So things got weird! As you can probably tell from last night's formatting and time of the post, I've gotta use blogger+ for the time being, because the phone line at home has died. What's strange is that I can ring the home line, but my phone doesn't actually ring. It just rings out. Then when I dialled my mobile from the home line, the number came up as completely different! How strange!! Something isn't right. What's even crappier is that Telstra (the service provider) can't fix it until the 9th! That's like an entire week! Oh well, I can live without the internet, and life is much simpler without the trouble of social media and procrastination. The only thing I can't stand is paying for services I can't use. Might have to make a complaint about that. What really makes no sense is privatising an entity that previously had a monopoly on all the relevant infrastructure. Telstra (or Telecom as it used to be known) was a government owned entity that was responsible for all telecommunication setups in Australia until the 1990s. They then privatised Telstra and allowed competition, but Telstra still owned all the physical infrastructure in place. So this has basically screwed everyone in terms of new providers having to pay exhorbitant fees to access the infrastructure, and not being able to upgrade outmoded equipment. That's not real free-market competition, because the incumbent wields all the power. It's also not helped by my crappy Optus reception in my apartment which means that my 3G internet (as well as phone coverage) is spotty at best. So without wireless internet I'm pretty much cut off, but that's ok, I'll deal with it.


I love it when I'm able to come up with a solution to a problem because I feel like a genius! Especially difficult, finance related ones. I just need time to think through the problem, and I can get there. You just have to visualise a way that makes it work for you and you'll get there.


I'm trying, I'm really really trying not to be lazy. The question is what the hell am I going to do with the 2 hours I have left until I can get the hell out of here? There's just not a lot going on in my life right now. But hey, at least I can focus on finishing my book and getting started on the next one. I really have nothing to do, which sort of kills the motivation a bit. The problem is that instead of using my time fruitfully, it's been wasted, and now I actually have big work to do. So that's going to keep me busy until the end of the year. Great. That's a perfect allegory for my life right there. Wasted time, chances blown. All over. Great. Don't get me wrong though, I'm not exactly bored.


I was reading on xkcd today that a total of 110 billion people have ever existed. Wow, that's a staggering figure. I want to know them all. What are there hopes and dreams. What were they. Did they have regrets when they died? It's a crazy question. Hopefully one day, though.


I'll keep it there for now.


Joaquin out.