Debauched And Struggling

It was a strange set of circumstances.  Skipped the gym on Friday and Saturday because I was just over it.  Just over everything.  I was exhausted and just not feeling it.  I'm still in that sort of mindset.  Probably doesn't help that I returned to the gym this morning and I was on the verge of collapse after a weekend of excess.  Pigged out, drank too much and just stayed on the couch and also just slept.  But I'll make a return to full fitness this week.  6 days of gym in a row, like the usual days!  I can do this!  Watched some good films, and some not so good films.  On Saturday watched Spring Breakers and Arbitrage.  Spring Breakers was a combination of good and bad.  There were some great moments of pathos and some well directed shots.  But overall I felt it was exploitative and it was let down by an atrocious ending that was not believable at all.  However, James Franco was nothing short of amazing.  I'm shocked that he had that in him!  But overall, I felt let down because of the last act.  Arbitrage was absolutely amazing.  A slow burning thriller with tension throughout, it was stellar.  Richard Gere's performance of a lifetime, that's for sure.  Last night finally watched Heat, which I have put off for several months now.  Absolutely stellar.  It's irrelevant that De Niro and Pacino share so little screen time, you can tell that they're hunter and prey the entire time, and there's significant tension.  All characters are given in-depth backstories and everything was just so well shot.  One of the best films I've ever seen.  Then I finally watched Gone in 60 Seconds.  I've seen bits and pieces, but never watched the whole thing.  It wasn't very good.

The other week I watched Valkyrie, which was incredibly good.  It's a fast paced thriller with real life thrown in (it focuses on the assassination attempt on Hitler and the subsequent takeover of Germany from within).  Wow, just wow.  It was a fantastic film, and every shot has you panicking as you try to understand the intentions of the characters and wondering how they could have pulled it off, to its chilling, inevitable conclusion.

What a strange weekend though.  It was almost insane.  Where does it all go?  Where does it all wind up?  Could there be meaning behind anything?  I'm not who I could be.  And should that make me upset?  Possibly.  I am who I am.  Maybe there's room to move.  Let's see.  That involves a lot of assumptions.  Just let the gates open and flood us all in.

The light is too much.  It's destroying my looks!  Maybe I'm just too tired.  Bring me back to the darkness.  It's where I belong.  Hahaha, somewhere I hear Bane saying "You think Darkness is your ally?!"

There was a fantastic comment made on shortformblog (SFB) where they picked up someone saying in relation to Mandela's death that he was formerly regarded as a terrorist, but is now revered around the world.  But look at crackdowns on oppressed people now - you have torture, secret prisons, no fly lists.  How can people be expected to thrive or to change popular opinion now?  It's not a fair world.  It's a much more sinister place than it used to be.  The person said today's Mandela is probably locked up in one of those places, just languishing.  Food for thought.

As always, I'm getting through work slowly.  Not that I want to, I wish I'd finished one of my 2 projects but I'm procrastinating so hard lately.  You know I've lost the motivation to involve myself in this kind of thing.  It should be poured into other stuff.  Stuff like guitar - speaking of, I put down a bridge to one of my songs!  Yeah!  That's the thing, you just gotta stick with it and keep going and new things will reveal themselves to you.  You can finish songs just through sheer perseverance.  If only I put some effort into lyric writing.  It's just a week and a day until I'm on a week and a day break!  Hahaha not bad is it?  Nice equilibrium there.

Work is done for the day, but I still have 2 hours until I can get out of here.  What else can I possibly do?!  I would be keen to buy a console like a PS3 now that the PS4 has come out.  But I don't really have anywhere to play, nor the time to play any games.  I've got stuff on PC that I haven't even started despite paying premium prices when the games came out.  What a waste! 

I've got nothing to do!  What to do with these 90 minutes just being wasted?  It takes practice and hard work and dedication.

I'm done for the day.

Joaquin out.