Miss Deja Vu

Deja Vu, again!  Is that you?  What a strange set of circumstances.  I recognised it as it was happening, and I knew it was deja vu! 

Travelling again for work.  This time it's a two nighter, so you'll probably hear from me on Friday or Saturday night.  I'll do my best to blog while I'm gone, but no promises.  I'm sure I'll have some down time here and there.

Might be a quick one, since it's been a busy day prepping and what not.

Oh well, wait for the next update!

Joaquin out.

Overindulged And Out

What a crazy weekend.  I don't remember ever eating and drinking so much.  Two whole pizzas, 3 lemonades and a red bull?  And chips too?  Goddamn, how insane!  My stomach paid for it on Sunday, of course.  So then I just kept eating lollies, chocolates and bread!  I'm still trying to get it all settled throughout me, but I know, first world problems, right??

Well maybe that, but not other things.  Those are very real problems.  I'm not drowning in it, not quite yet.  I'll be alright.  Just swim, swim, swim.  Because there's nothing else for it. 

Am I upset even though I know a little bit more than I used to?  Who knows.  It's all useful!  But it still doesn't help me.  Suppose I just need to be more careful in the future.  I'll get there ain the end, though.  All just a matter of perseverance and thinking things through.

I found out that my university is axeing its languages program!  Noooo!  That sucks!  Haha, I remember that for one of my Communications tutorials I would show up early, because the class before ours was a Japanese language class, and the teacher was ridiculously attractive and young.  Yowza!  Haha I would always just peer in to see if our class had started yet (knowing full well that it hadn't, because I was early), just to cop a perve!  Hahaha ah damn, oh well.  I wonder what happened to her?  I hope she left in the interim, so she wouldn't be fired by this stupid decision.  Cost savings my ass. 

Man, this Monday is really kicking my ass.  I don't know why I'm feeling so tired, but I just can't concentrate and I don't want to do any work.

Just let me out of here, and on my way home to be warm, and hopefully download all of season 4 of Arrested Development in one go!!!  YES!  I CAN'T WAIT!  IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!  I just wanna switch off from it all.

Blergh, let's just keep it there for now.

Joaquin out.

Pardon The Insane Interruption

Just so tired after travelling for work.

Blogging to resume as normal from Monday!

Joaquin out.

Not With The Program(me)

Do you even know what this is?  How can you be sure of what's going on?

It's utterly freezing here.  I should have stayed in bed.  Couldn't gym this morning due to circumstances outside of my control, so I'm colder than usual, and on top of that I'm also feeling tired.  So I'm doing my best to lay low today and do the minimum amount of work required to see me through today.  I like walking around with my earphones in, even when I'm not listening to music.  I just feel a bit warmer when the wind isn't in my ears.  Haha, that's a bit messed up, isn't it?  Then again, my nose is always running.

Traveling for work again tomorrow, and at least it's an overnight trip.  It'll be good to get away from home, even if for a little while.  Then home on Friday night, winning!  Should be a relatively easy weekend.  I'll be able to get through all the things that I want to.

Getting quite heavy into guitar at the moment, especially on our best songs.  I've been making it a point to learn the chords and and the transitions so I haven't been rushing through things.  Usually getting through about 4-5 songs per hour.

Shit, is it just me, or have I been covering the same bullshit for the past few weeks, if not months in my posts??  Goddamn, I need to shake things up a bit.

Looking back, I have not updated the Joaquin Rate List (JRL) in some time.  But I've got 9 names to add in, which I'll hopefully get to this weekend!  You'll enjoy the updates.  Trust me!  Man, I should actually add pictures to that post, just so people know what I'm on about when I talk about someone.  Haha!  That's good.  I hope you'll all enjoy.  It'll take some time to get to though.  But I'll get there in the end!  What's strange is that that particular post has so many hits.  But should I be surprised, considering the subject matter?  It could also have something to do with the constant linking to that post within various parts of this blog!  Might have to give that a try!  That and also tagging all the posts.  But like I said, that's to come with the next blog intro-retrospective.  Maybe I'll save that for next September (as in 2014)?  That's dependent on whether I can keep blogging with that sort of output.

It was bad enough that a little while ago I was able to tell exactly what I would be doing that evening, when it was early morning.  But now I can tell what I'll be doing on Monday, which is about half a week away!  What the hell?!  Is my life that predictable and boring?  Yeah, I guess it is.

A lot of people are whingeing about Yahoo acquiring Tumblr.  That's fair enough, Yahoo hasn't had the best track record in keeping their new acquisitions relevant or up to date (flickr and what not).  But this is different.  Yahoo is being led by a very competent CEO in Marissa Mayer.  It must be tough being a working mother, especially one in the spotlight like her, considering how much trouble Yahoo has had recently with their executives.  Just look at their stock price, Marissa is really changing things around, and good on her.  David Karp shouldn't be criticised for being a sell out.  He's worked on this thing for a good chunk of his life, and he should be fairly rewarded for his hard work and innovation.  Isn't it fair that he can create something and profit from it?  What's everyone scared about?  Life will continue.  David is still in charge of his creation.  It's all good, and good on him, and Yahoo.
I was reading on the Sydney Morning Herald (SMH, haha in more ways than one), and a story written by Jeff McGill (editor for the Campbelltown Macarthur Advertiser) about how they've lobbied to have that region referred to as something else rather than South West Sydney.  They want to write it off as stopping the sweeping generalisations, but the fact is that Campbelltown IS geographically southwest of Sydney.  Therefore, it's fair to refer to it as that.  Not just that, there are definite racist undertones in what they're saying, because they don't want to get lumped into the same boat as new immigrants, who typically settle in places in Western Sydney, and there's the community perception of low education and high crime in these areas.  The folk in Campbelltown are your typical bogan scum that have no relevance in society, and look to protect their own identity because in their own minds they are suprior to everyone else.  Let's just refer to it as the Bogan Sydney instead, shall we?  It's far more accurate.

What does it take to be big?  Is it merely down to luck?  Sheer effort?  Advertising?  Just gotta get out there and do it I suppose, for the love of the game.

Why do so many people post public statuses on facebook?  Do they not know that stuff is accessible to the public?  Whenever I see a public status, I usually don't comment or like it, just out of principle.  People need to be a bit more mindful of their privacy.  Things have sure changed from when I was a teenager, that's for sure.

Silvana at City Supabarn: you have the greatest ass I've ever seen.  Congratulations, you deserve an award!  But do you ever wonder why so many guys tend to take the register behind you as opposed to your own one?  Leggings as pants, that's why!  Goddamn.  Zoned out there for a while!

Hmmm, I do have some work to do, but I don't feel like doing it.  What do I do?  Only 2 or so hours until I'm out of here.  Better think of something!!! 

What's inside you??  What's there? 

Can you tell that I'm still trying to make up for the error in Mondays blog with deleting my e-mail before posting my blog notes?  Hahaha, how funny!  Still an issue for me.

Anyway, I'll leave it there for now.

Joaquin out.

Learning To Forgive Oneself

I still can't believe that I deleted my blog post from my e-mail before I even posted it.  It's my own fault, and yeah I admit it and acknowledge it.  Don't know what I was thinking.  Probably due to having a tumblr post and a blog post in the one e-mail, and then deleting the e-mail after tumblring it, but not blogging it.  Sheeit, I still can't believe, but that's ok!  Probably nothing of any real value in there anyway, it's just the thought that I had the blognotes open all day and was contributing to it, but only for it to all amount to nothing in the end.  Haha, as Linkin Park would say, In The End, It Doesn't Even Matter!

But what's in the past is done, and I can't fix it.  It's not like other issues I've had with blogger (in the PAST), like where I've lost a blog post and what not, because this is all squarely my fault.  You learn from it, and I won't be making that mistake again.  So moving on!

20 or so minutes to go and I've decided to not do any more work today.  I've had plenty of things to do all day, so I'm a bit behind with blogging, but that's all fine.

Social media.  So what am I getting into these days?  How do I split myself across all the things that I use?

Facebook - showing off and just not engaging with people I know.  In fact, most people I know don't even use it that often anymore.  I think it's more of a teenager/early 20's thing, even though it was my generation that first cottoned on to it and were among the first users.

Twitter - just me trying to be funny and failing, as well as following celebrities to see how utterly boring they really are.  I chop and change the list a fair bit, because I don't like reading too many tweets.  But this is probably more relevant to tumblr, as you'll see below.

Instagram - just being random.  I don't even know why I use it.  T-Boy put me on to it, and I've been trying to wrap my head around taking pictures every so often.  But I just post stupid things with random tags and people like it and follow me.  I don't understand it.  I think it's one for the kids, and for vain people.

Tumblr - good source of entertainment and news.  I do enjoy using it, but I think that a number of people tend to post way too much material.  They aren't considerate and tend to think that they're the only tumblrspace on the internet.  So when you add in the possibility that you're following about 60+ users, it's not going to go down well.  It's also a major issue if people are just sort of hacking through their newsfeeds to read things that only instantly get them excited.  That's not right.  I want everything on my newsfeed to be relevant to me, so I tend to unfollow people a fair bit.

Blogger - the truth.  The barebones truth.  And that's how you like it!

Ahhh, I'm so irrelevant and redundant here.  If a change occurs, I'm secretly hoping that I get fired!  That would be pretty cool.

What strikes me as hilarious is the idea that Larry Page got up at a tech convention recently and was sad that technology isn't helping to improve people's lives.  What a hypocritical tosser!  Google is responsible for plunging massive revenue piles into sifting through your information to compile dossiers on its users, so they have great information that they can onsell to people like advertisers.  They could be using their resources to further better humanity, but they're not really doing anything about it.  Stuff like google glasses and what not are just novelty items that don't really improve the way we live our lives.  They're just more distractions for a life we increasingly grow even detatched from.

Anyway, that's it for now.

Joaquin out.

I Am A Motherfucking Idiot

Had a decent blog post!

E-mailed it to myself, decided to clear out my mailbox before I posted (including sent mail and the bin).

So I have lost the post before I wrote it up.

Shit!

Well I've only got myself to blame.

I deserve it.

Sigh, it's only Monday.

Fuck this.

Joaquin out.

A Failing Mind

It's getting gradually harder to remember things.

My mind is muddling up memories and facts, and I find that I'm now wrong more often than I'm right.

It's not a good feeling.

And so I guess this is it.

This is the slow descent into death.

The apex came and went without so much as an acknowledgement.

Didn't even rise from the gutter.

And that's that.

Joaquin out.

The Phoenix Rises

Injured finger is back to normal and my nails are trimmed.

Lemonade in hand, I'm ready for a night of solid guitar playing.

Been pretty active on social media.

Been getting on with tumblr and instagram lately.  Good stuff really.

Anyway, onwards and upwards.

Joaquin out.

That Point Where A Smile Loses All Meaning

And then your perception changes from there onwards.

The internet is becoming a gradually more sinister place, don't you think?  Everyone is looking for ways to monetise things, and to cash in on information, whereas the internet should be about sharing information freely.  Only good things can come of that.

Anyway, I better keep it there for now.

I was surprisingly busy and efficient and productive today!  Crazy world.  Even found the time to blog.  Things are always busy after travel!

Joaquin out.

The Truth About The Notes App on Apple iPhones

Had an interesting moment this morning.

Was checking through my e-mail account on google and decided to look at 'all mail' as opposed to just the inbox.  Imagine my surprise when I realised that notes from my iPhone were on there!!  This was from my home computer!

I knew shit was off!  Whenever I'd enter a note it would do a strange syncing animation and sort of lag before being able to move on to the next function.  I should have known it was cloud syncing.

The sinister thing?  Google goes through all your information that it holds on its servers and creates a file about you.  That's a fact.  So don't go around making personal notes to yourself on your iPhone, because it's going straight to the memos of Larry Page and Sergei Brin.

Apple, you fucked up.

Google, you're just as guilty.

Is there no privacy?  It's not even a cyberspace issue, it's a fucking personal memo thing on MY phone!  Why can't I have that to myself, instead of having it shared with the information rapists at Google?

That's not right.

Joaquin out.

Pouring Confectionary Over Open Wounds

Will never be good for one's wellbeing.  My nails are growing out, so not playing guitar as well as I can, but I'll give them a trim this weekend, and I'll be back into the good stuff.  Not sure if I mentioned that I've created another subfolder on dropbox.  I've put 50 of the other's and mine's best songs so that I can just focus on learning them and getting down some melodies and 2nd guitar ideas to layer over them. 

Heading interstate tomorrow for work.  Have to get up freakishly early to take an early morning flight, but at least it's only for the day.  What a world, traveling almost the entire day to attend a meeting that runs for about 2 hours.  Terrible.  Oh well, at least I'll be able to get some frequent flyer points, haha!  It's a really dodgy system though.  You have to fly a hell of a lot of miles to even qualify for the baseline class with Qantas.  I fly more than the average person, so I shudder to think of what's actually required (I don't have to pay for my flights out of my own pocket - cause it's all work related travel), to make it on your own.  Oh well, it's all a scam anyway.  There's no real benefits, just like FlyBuys or any other loyalty scheme from a capitalist corporation.  They want to give you the illusion that they're trying to give something to you, when in fact, you're subsidising your own gifts by having to frequent the service so often.  At least I get to travel by myself tomorrow.

Lack of any form of activity has really killed my knees since returning to the gym this week.  My legs are just dead, and I'm really looking forward to just being off my feet today.  Too bad I have a crap load of work to do!  Made the mistake last night of accidentally falling asleep after watching tv.  It was only 30 minutes - 7:40-8:10, but it messed me up for sleep.  I was tossing and turning all night, and didn't really get to have a proper sleep.  Though, I do recall having one strange dream where I was visiting someone in some yard or shed, and we were all playing with some sort of weird oil that created intense flames.  Then I saw Anj for a while, and also Paulie (I think), but then either Anj or his brother Mike showed off a Dragonball Z type skill where they got someone to throw the flames onto them while they used their qi to stop themselves from getting burned.  I just recall that it looked absolutely awesome.  Well there you go, another insight into my weird subconscious.  I'm not even going to begin to dissect that one.  Ergh, I'm just so tired today. 

Interesting moments this week.  I ran into Julian from college.  I didn't like this guy.  He was one year above us (I think), but he had a knack for pissing me off.  On my second day of college we were all lining up to take the bus and he was getting on with his girlfriend and then a huge line of year 11's pushed in and made everyone surge forward so I ran into him, and he subsequently ran into his girlfriend.  He turned around and swore at me like it was my fault!  Dude, why the hell would I push someone in a bus line?!  Mofo looked like he was about to hit me.  Then not just that, Izzy would say that he was the best looking guy she had ever seen and would do anything to be with him.  Then uni, he dated Superfine (yes, most likely the best looking girl I've ever seen).  We were informed that Superfine had a number of pregnancy scares with him and it was all rather perplexing (don't you think, haha)!  Anyway, I never saw him after that, but just this week it looked like I had seen him in Civic hanging out with a bunch of nerds and having grown all his hair out.  What the hell happened to him??  Looks like he should be running around middle Earth looking for Frodo.  Fucker. 

If I hear the words 'strategic vision' or 'bigger picture' one more time, I'm going to absolutely freak out.  I can't stand this idiocy, I should be in charge, but I'm not!  Just gotta get out of here.  In more ways than one.  I should have gone overseas while I had the chance.  Now I'm stuck here. 

Fucking 'haha'!  I don't even like using those words, they cut across me now!

Stupid new iOS!  Updated it, and now I'm chewing through 10% of my battery life in 20 minutes of use!  That's not right at all.  It's just regular 3G browsing on twitter and facebook.  That's not right at all.  Apple, if you can't fix you shit, you deserve to go down!  Samsung be taking over!! 

I'm in a weird mood.  I feel like going to a rave and totally getting off my face.  Have I ever been to a rave?  Nope.  Have I ever been off my face?  Nope.  Weird times.

Alright I better keep it there.  I'll try to blog while I'm out and about tomorrow, but no promises.  I'll see how things go.

Take care.

Joaquin out.

Frosty Bellows

Don't worry about whether winter is coming.  It's already here and it's going to get worse.  Just absolutely freezing this morning and I want to stay in bed again.  And I don't ever want to leave.  Just sitting at my desk, gingerly getting through work and feeling cold and detatched.  Figuratively and literally.

I can't do anything anymore.  I don't have the freedom to just go and do the things I want to do anymore.  And it got me wondering, is that what makes a man?  Sacrifice?  But surely that is just giving up?  No wonder so many middle aged men commit suicide.  It all makes sense to me now.  So many lives unlived, unfulfiled, yet those who soldier on have the gall to call the others quitters.  There are no winners in this game.

Holy crap, one hour to go until home time and I've realised that I've been busy the whole time.  That's good!  But it also means a lack of a post today.

That's alright though, we'll get through it.  Unfortunately.

Joaquin out.

Overcast Delays

Just a really rainy, shitty, freezing cold day.  I'm tired from the weekend of constant eating and bad sleep that I got.  The room I was staying in was also pretty dusty so I have got a slight cough. 

Very out of practice on the guitar, which isn't a good sign.  Then again I went Friday and Saturday without playing anything.  But got into some warm ups last night.  Will try to get into some actual songs tonight though.

Hmmm feels like I've got nothing to say today. 

Hopefully that'll change tomorrow.

Joaquin out.

You've Got Nothing I Want

You've got nothing I need.  And with that as my motto for the day, I shall get on with my business. 

Don't be nervous

Improving my run times.  Ran a 2.9km in just under 10 mins today, which is my personal best.  It was brutal. but ok. I can't feel anything below waist!  As you may have read earlier, my running goal is to run 3km in 10 mins.  I think I can do it with a bit of practice.  Just have to work at getting my VVO2Max threshold up.  It's a bit tough at times trying to run flat out over an extended period of time.  Well here's to more training.

I think I suffer from tremendous stage fright.  I tend to get very nervous before I have to go out on a stage and perform for people.  I don't know why this is, considering I'm adept at things like that.  Maybe it's just natural, but it's a serious pain if I ever want to become a professional musician.  Got into a fair bit of guitaring last night.  I've shifted about 50 of our absolute best songs into another folder just so I can concentrate on them and learn them all note for note.  Should be meeting up with the other in a few months when I visit his town, and we'll be sure to get some jam time in.  My goal would be to actually finish and record some of our pre-existing ideas, rather than jamming and improvising new tracks - which we seem to be scarily good at!

Time to get on the up and out of here methinks.

After the failure of yesterday's blog, I decided to make a bit of a dedicated effort to blogging today. 

So an old family friend died last night.  That's ok though, he was quite elderly and had been unwell for a number of years now.  Luckily we were able to visit him a few months ago when he was in hospital.  At least I got to see him one more time before he died.  When I was younger, I enjoyed going to his house in the North and just watching tv while my parents and his family talked.  They had much older kids than me so I was left to my own devices.  They had this awesome tv set where the remote control actually had a little slot IN the tv, where you could put the remote.  You just pressed on a little button and the remote came out of the tv, so cool!  I remember one time we were over late at night and I was watching Beverly Hills Cop on tv with the volume turned way up and just ate chips.  One of the happiest moments of my life!  Got to see the whole film from start to finish!  Ahh, good times!  Things got even funnier many years later when we were at a house party being thrown at his son's house, hosted by their family.  I got to meet his granddaughters - one of whom was a very flirty character.  She got drunk, despite being 14 or 15 or so (I was the same age), and as she got more wasted throughout the evening started coming on to me!  So yes, things did end up with me feeling her up.  Haha, I guess that's my confession!  Ahh, life, you are a strange thing. 

Staring through the floor.  I've got PTSD!  Haven't even gone through a traumatic event! 

I'm sick of buying things!  Why bother spending your money if you don't have to?  Spend it on what you need, not on things you don't even want.  That's the worst.  How gratuitous and vulgar.  Shame on me for living like this.  It's not right.  Things have to change.

Hmm, I'm feeling sleepy, this is not a good sign.  So damn tired I'm starting to zone.  Zone big time.  How can I even sleep anymore?  With so many troubles in my life.

Oh, so you think people don't exist when they're not in your face?  Well guess what?  I exist, I exist!  Even if not in my own mind...

Let's keep it there for now.  Take care of yourselves.

Just an hour to go until I'm out of here.  At least I've got work to do.  But what do I know?  Nothing.  That's right, nothing.

Hahaha it looks like my nose is broken!  Who am I kidding?!  My face is broken.  No faces look like this one.

Joaquin out.

Can't Blog, Clown Will Eat Me

Yeah, sorry, got nothing to say today.

Was busy as hell at work so didn't get time to get any thoughts down.

Maybe tomorrow.  I'll try my best, but no promises.

Joaquin out.

You Are The Cause Of All This Pain

And Celeste Buckingham can sing you the next part of the song.  What a waste of a day!  Had a 4 hour meeting in the morning, which was absolutely pointless.  We did not need to be there.  But at least I was able to get out of the office, and there was a free lunch, so yahoo!  At least it makes the day pass quickly, which I'm always down with.  But it also means that I didn't get too much substantive work done.  Some was done though!  Not a complete deadbeat here, haha!

It would be nice to go home and just relax, but don't get that opportunity for 2.5 hours at least.  Will just have to find a way to get through it all.

Oh man!  Had a really awesome session of guitar last night.  Was impressed with my memory retention on some of the other's old stuff.  Usually I have to keep those tabs open in dropbox while I play, but I managed to remember a hell of a lot.  Got my own rhythms going on my songs, and attempted to marry the lyrics to the music, which is always a pain in the ass, but I was getting somewhere.  There's hope for me yet!  Will get into it a bit more tonight.  Even told the other that his progressions were pure genius, and he was happy!  We will jam when I'm in his neck of the woods in a few months time.  It'll be good.

Was just struck by a weird memory.  Yayen posted some of his old pictures to facebook of when we were in High School.  He had an interest in photography and took some black and white pics with the school camera when he was doing a class.  There was one with me and 2 others in it.  One being Ben.  Ben died a few years later when we were in university.  He died in a car crash on a stretch of road that is relatively clear - he had a head on with another car when he was speeding (I believe).  I don't know what happened to him in that regard, because he was a level headed smart guy, but maybe he was just having a bad day?  Maybe it was just an accident with no explanation. 

Brings me back to another high school memory.  We had a walkathon where we had to walk 20km for charity.  When you're that young, 20km is a hell of a long distance!  It was a pretty gruelling day, but I managed to get through it.  But the interesting thing was that some people actually ran the thing, in an event organised by a sporty teacher.  I thought that was sheer madness, but I found out later that they didn't run the entire 20km, they ran a straight line to the destination, which was closer to 7km, and I thought that was a bit more manageable!  I could run that now!  I think that's when I first talked to Yayen.  He never was one to throw the first punch.

Ok, only 30 minutes to go until I'm out of here!  Looks like things are going to be busy for the rest of the week, which will be good. 

Hahaa, just had a wicked idea, but the execution of it requires some thought and planning, which I just don't have the time for anymore. 

Gosh, looking at my reflection in the window and I am so ugly!  Why am I even allowed to exist?  Hahaha!  Irony of a self-serving statement right there.  What on Earth is going on?  Hmm, well I'll try to have a good night?  Heading interstate again this weekend, so might not be able to blog on Friday night, unless it's from my phone, but we'll see.  I'll try my best.  Oh god, Sydney.  Where will I be?  Would be interesting!

Anyway, I'd better leave it there.  Take care!

Joaquin out.

Who Is Steering The Ship?

I don't know.  Hell, I didn't even know there was a ship involved!  I'm just me, a person.  Nothing to do with anyone or anything.  Just tired, tired, tired.  Woke up this morning and very nearly called in sick because I just wanted to stay in bed.  Probably wasn't helped by the fact that I also fell asleep last night in front of the tv while watching Mythbusters!  Damn, I wanted to know what happened.  Did the Build Team's improvised parachute work?  Guess I'll never know.  What the hell is going on?  I'm making a determined effort to get into bed earlier, which I'm doing, yet every day I'm feeling tired in the mornings.  Maybe my body got used to less sleep?  I remember back in the old days, I would have a Red Bull on Tuesday mornings with breakfast, because it would get me through the week.  Tuesdays hit harder than most, as I'm sure I've said many times.

A bit miffed that GTA5 is only coming out on consoles first!  What about the new Windows, man?!  I'm sure it would look great!  Bring it out on PC!  But maybe wait until I've finished all my other games first.  Shite, do I even have anything to blog about today?  Got a terrible 4 hour meeting that I've gotta sit through tomorrow.  It's going to be technical and boring and nothing to do with me.  I wonder how I'm going to last?  Well at least there's free food, haha!  That's how you can get through it!

Oh man, still 90 minutes to go until I can get out of here?!  Ahhh, I can't do this!  Did a fair bit of work today and now I'm just absolutely taxed out of it.  As per usual I just want to put on my warm clothes and go to sleep.  But I don't want to go home, still with that thing!  What does one more day bring? 

There was a good advertisement the other day about Aboriginal (indigenous) politicians, from an Indigenous Scholarship network.  The ad basically had the picture of an aboriginal man in a suit in front of an Australian flag, implying he was the Prime Minister, with a caption "this will never happen".  But the next page states that the education network believes that it can.  And that's wonderful.  But what I read in the Telegraph today was that the scholarship sets up indigenous students to study at very elite schools.  Ok that's fine, but what I have an issue with is that concept that you can only have a Prime Minister from an elite school.  I've said a million times that you don't need someone from one of those fancy private schools to lead the country.  It is a fallacy that they receive the best education, and that they're the best equipped to lead.  Most of the time they are pretentious snobs with only hubris in their hearts.  The sense of entitlement they have is truly sickening and disgusting, and they only get places because their parents have money, and they can set up networks to get jobs and opportunities, despite not having any head for true leadership or any aptitude for anything besides partying, drinking, drugs and sexual assault.  Harsh?  Yes.  But accurate.  I'm sick of that status quo, things need to change.  We need people who care, people who can do the job.

Alrighttttt, only 40 minutes to go till I'm out!  I can do this.  Shame to hear about the result of the Malaysian elections.  Saru explained the situation to me, whereby everyone wants the opposition to be in power, but endemic corruption has resulted in widespread voter fraud.  Malaysia practices a system whereby there are a number of unevenly populated electorates.  So, hypothetically, 10 electorates of 1,000 people hold more power than 5 electorates with 10,000 people (stretching this hypothetical, but you know what I mean).  Therefore, there's plenty of opportunity to create mischief.  What I don't get is that the opposition comfortably won the popular vote, but due to the intricacies (and vaguearies) of the system, they have still lost, considerably!  Not a good sign, especially with the inevitable protests that have to come now.  Just hope it doesn't lead to violence, but hopefully there will be change just around the corner.  Not a good sign, especially if we are aiming to relocate to Malaysia at some point of our lives.

Thinking of taking a quick overseas jaunt next month to see a concert, as well as to potentially visit Sez.  We'll see if it can happen.  Gotta lot of ducks to potentially line up if it's all to happen.

Hmmm, might keep it there for today. 

Joaquin out.

Smiling Like An Idiot

While all these things are happening!  Like holy fuck!  Seriously?  Am I just going to sit here and let all these things happen?  Feeling so powerless.  It's so goddamn cold!  Ahh I want to be back in bed with my beanie and hoodie and not giving a crap about the world.  So cold that I can't get anything done.  Just sitting at my desk and shivering!  What the hell is the EER of this building?  Like negative 10?  Always freezing in winter and boiling in summer. 

Upset and powerless, isn't that always the way?  I don't want to go home, I don't want to go home.  Do you see me little birdy?  Another weird day of weird posts, but things are quite busy at work, so I can't really get into a groove and focus on things I'd like to blog about.

Last full week in the office for a while.  Travelling for work the remainder of the month.  Better than being stuck at work, I suppose!  At least I get to see more of this country and can get some exercise and food in.

I'd better keep it there for now.

Joaquin out.

Decayed Decade

Where the hell did the last 10 years of my life go?  It was over in just the blink of an eye.  And yet I know my entire life will be exactly the same.  I was here, and then I just...wasn't.  Time doesn't stop for anything.  But one day, I hope it does.  Maybe we can take up residence next to a black hole?  As close as can be without crossing over the event horizon, cause I don't imagine that would be good for you.  At least time will slow down for us, but it's all relative.  What's on for the next 10 years?  Oh god, what about over the next 2?  They will be the most important of my life, I feel.  Best make something of it, or else it's just this.  This this this.  Blergh.

It's nice to get things done which have been sitting on my to-do list for about 4 months.  But it's all done and I can sleep a little bit easier.  Well that being said, I didn't sleep very well last night.  Was restless throughout the night and this morning I was just damn tired.  I slept in and didn't bother going to the gym.  So of course now I'm feeling flat (and cold) at work.  Not a good way to get through things.  Man I really should have gone!  I'm regretting it now. 

Ergh, lady!  Don't try to own it if you don't know what you're doing.  It makes the rest of us look bad!!  4 hours until I can get out of this hell hole, but at least I'm taking lunch today, so when I get back it'll be just 3 hours.  Maybe 2 if I can leave a bit later on.

The thing I can't stand about this country is the misplaced arrogance and sense of self-entitlement.  Australia and Australians are notorious for thinking that they're the best, while not wanting to admit to any flaws whatsoever.  Any criticism is met with cries that other countries are worse, or flat out denial that anything is wrong.  Take this bullshit nationalistic pride.  Essentially you can't be Australian unless you're white, have the accent, and your family has been here for at least 2 generations.  Ethnic people will forever be ethnic, and Indigenous people are just regarded as forgotten and ignored.  Then they have the gall to complain that the country is being taken away from them by Asians and other ethnic groups, as well as refugees!  Folks, you came to this country illegally yourselves, then made up a ridiculous law that had complete basis in racism, facism and ignorance to say that the land was unoccupied, so you were allowed to claim it (this was only overturned over 200 years later).  But that still hasn't changed the mentality of the people, who remain blissfully unaware of the troubles facing these minorities and marginalised groups, or who openly fear and criticise and criminalise them.  I think on that basis, they deserve to have 'their' country taken away from 'them'.  A country belongs to all the people who occupy it.  You can't claim ownership of it, because it claims ownership over you.  People don't want to pay additional taxes to fund a disability scheme to help give dignity to people's lives, because they think the Government owes them.  What complete utter bullshit!  Let's remember the words of JFK here!  The world really is becoming a nastier place.  Yet everyone thinks they're doing the right thing.  God help us.

I've had enough for today.

Joaquin out.

Defragment My Mind

Please?  I've noticed that with all these fragmented thoughts and what not - the reality of which you are seeing on this blog, the harder it is for me to concentrate on real tasks for an extended period of time.  I wonder what's going on with me?  I'm just losing my focus.  Perhaps I should make a concerted effort to blog about particular topics in-depth, as opposed to a stream of consciousness thing that I'm used to. 

At least I'm not making the same mistakes again!

With all this cold and lack of sleep it feels like my body is shutting down.  All I want to do is stay in bed and sleep.  It didn't help that I lost my beanie while I was sleeping and then I woke up in the middle of the night absolutely freezing, which continued on to the morning.  Also had a strange dream where I called in sick for work and stayed home.  It actually made me very happy!  Haha, wow!  I'm so easily pleased.  Maybe I'll give that a go sometime.  I'll just make a conscious decision to waste the day.  It's not like I'm wasting my life...oh wait a minute!  Hmmm, I really don't want to do any work today, but things are so busy that I don't have a choice. 

Oh wow, I can see the moon from here!  From my desk, amongst the great blue sky (yes it is day time), I can see an outline of the moon.  It looks amazing.  I wish I could go and take a picture but I can't because I'm too busy, and the camera on my iPhone wouldn't have the clarity to do the shot any justice.  I wonder what it would have been like for the Apollo crews that got to the moon?  What a journey. 

Ok my work is pretty much done, and yet there's still 3 and a half hours to go until I can get the hell out of here.  What the hell am I supposed to do??! 

Well at least it's Thursday, right?  Only one more day of this crappery to go.  Then the all too short weekend.  Then of course back to it in full force next week.  And the week after.  And it never ends.  It just continues like this forever and ever until I die.  Good times.  If all we are left with in the end is memories, then I am pretty much screwed, because I have nothing.  Then I wonder, am I the only one feeling this way?  Or are so many people caught up in the fallacy of living life at a superficial level?  Hmm, still 2 hours to go.  I can get through this.  I've sat through much worse with nothing to do.  I'm prepared.  Just one of the perks (is it even a perk) of being me?

Alright, I better keep this here, I've got other stuff to work on.

Joaquin out.

The Dalai Lama And Queen Don't Agree

One wants it all, and they want it now.  The other doesn't not care for want, just enlightenment.  Yet both as famous as each other, haha!  What a world.

How in the hell can I make the same mistake twice in a row?  Oh well, learn and move on.  I'm just tired and frustrated and over it, frankly.  I don't feel like doing any work, but unfortunately, it's quite busy today so it looks like I'll still need to do stuff.  Ahh, can't I just sleep at my desk for a little while? 

I'm not here.  I'm barely here.  None of this should be happening.  Why?  Walking a very fine line of existence and life.  I can no longer read my own writing.

Where was I?  It's disturbing when you can't tell if memories are of real events or just fleeting dreams.  Hmmm, should I blog this weekend?  Do I even have time?  Not really, I'm out of time.  We all are.  This life is meaningless.  Irrelevant.  Why pretend that it is anything other than arbitrary?  Silence is golden.  Silence is scary.

2 more hours of this shit?  Oh please!  How am I meant to cope?  Just the way I am right now!  Shutting off part of yourself.  The part that cares and is open to the world.  That's not doing wonders for me right now.

And hello, who are you?  Hey you!  Yes, I'm talking to you!!  Don't pretend you're not there.  You could at least acknowledge me! 

Nothing on the agenda for tonight.  Of course not, when is there ever?  But at least it's just 90 minutes away.  This intersection reminds me of another one.  Hmmm, they don't pay me enough for this!

Ok, only gotta make it 30 minutes more and I'll be set.  Not bad at all.  At least it's been busier lately.  Then again it's been busy with pointless busy work that I shouldn't really have to do. 

The sun is going down.  I'm giving up.

Future proofing if I may?  I think overpopulation and reduction of resources will lead to another world war.  At least that war will be fought for actual survival, as opposed to stupid differences in political ideology.  But how does a nation fight a war in such a manner?  Do you just attack out of the blue one day?  Surely in instances where you are fighting for the survival of your nation, you ignore the rules of warfare and things like the Geneva convention don't matter?  I think we'll see a different means of waging war.  Civilians and non combatants will be directly targetted in order to inflict maximum casualties, to ensure land and resources are freed up for any invader.  But even then, let's just say that Earth exists as one country.  There's got to be a point where the population is unsustainable.  What happens then?  Well obviously civil war, or the population moves to other planets, or we just die.  There has to be a particular point where humanity has to start looking to interstellar travel as a means of re-population.  Because we've already messed this planet up, so we need to get off and destroy another planet when we get the chance.  But we're still stuck in our petty, jealous ways.  Ahh, I want to be around to see what happens!

There's a hotel right next to my work and I'm always paranoid that people are watching me through the windows.  The office is well lit, so at night you can see into the office spaces. 

To future disappointments!

Joaquin out.