The Irony Of It All

Well I suppose it was my comeuppance. But these things happen from time to time. Just have to own up and take responsibility for it, I suppose. I wonder what happens to me? I wonder what happened to me?

It may all be too late and everything has been jeopardised.

My memory has just become rotten to the core lately. I cannot for the life of me recall anything in terms of short term memory. This morning I went to work without putting deodorant on! I mean how messed up is that??! I just showered and put my clothes on, now I'm paranoid that I smell, considering it's a hot day. Blah! Memory failing, even the regular routine of the day is failing me!! How can this be occurring??!

I wish I could live it over again, you know. This life. Make different decisions and just see how things panned out. Just like a choose your own adventure type novel, where you can avoid the outcomes you don't like. How different would my life be now, I wonder?

Yeah, yeah everybody loves you.

What am I dreaming of? I can't even remember anymore.

Just want to tune out the rest of the day. In fact, I just want to be at home and sit on the couch. Not even play any games or watch any movies. Just lay down and let life pass me by.

I hate to quote a tv show theme song, but I really do feel like I'm stuck in second gear today.

That moment of non-realisation, of non-being. How do you make that moment last forever?

Oh man, Chess Titans has dropped out of my recently open list. How terrible! I really wish I had gotten better at chess. Then again, I only learned how to play not all that long ago.

What's really getting to me is the recurring flashbacks of the city. The city I used to live in. It's no longer about dreams or life, it's just a stark raving nightmare.

Each birthday steadily gets worse, in my humble opinion.

Hmmm I don't know what's going on in the world anymore. But the world doesn't seem to affect me anymore.

Struggling for acceptance and understanding. It irks even more when you know that at one point it existed, but that ended.

What is the cumulative effect of baggage? Not luggage related, but emotional baggage. Are we really just the sum of our experiences? If that's the case, then what is it all for? Because at some point, there are no more experiences. Unless there's an accounting mechanism at the end of it, then it's really all for nought.

The weather has turned and it looks ominous outside. I'm just looking forward to an evening of tv and not doing much.

Ah I wish xkcd was updated everyday! Well either that, or if the new what if section was updated more than once a week. Not that I'm complaining, just making an observation. The guy puts in loads of effort and we get free, high quality entertainment, which is always great.

I want to learn a new skill, but I don't know what I could possibly do.

There always needs to be a poor class. The poor keep the middle classes humble. It's sick that we're divided into so many categories. I guess it makes it so much more easier to discriminate.

Brain. Fried. I need to get out of here. I do yearn for travel. Just to blow some cash and relax on some beach somewhere and not think about anything.

How very off-putting. I wonder how and why things changed? For me and for everyone.

More innane ramblings I see. Let's see if I can string together some coherent thoughts tomorrow.

Joaquin out.