Punch In The Guts

Has age crippled me overnight?  Sorry about the lack of posting yesterday, I actually had to pay attention in class.  Now I'm back at work and I've cleared out my list of things to do, so I can get down to blogging.  University was interesting.  I feel like I haven't learned a goddamn thing, and now I'm expected to just finagle a 6,000 word essay out of nowhere.  I'll be alright, though.  I can get it done.  Just need to make the time and do some research.  One thing work has been good for is just focusing on getting things out of the way.  Procrastination hits sometimes, but not all the time.  But I can now understand why I never read for recreation while I was at university, there was just no time.  All my time was spent reading textbooks and doing tutorial questions.  And that sucks, because at least with uni, when I wasn't studying, I could play guitar or play some computer games.  Now I don't have that opportunity, because the remainder of my time is taken up by work.  So there's no guitar, there's no gaming, it's just either uni or work.  That's not fun at all.

So yeah, my body is letting me down, I can no longer sleep through the night, and I wake up in the morning feeling like I've been socked in the guts.  It's incredibly painful!  What the hell is going on?  I have no idea.  Maybe it's the start of the end.  That's alright.  We can't be delusional about us being here forever.  Hopefully it won't be a long life if it's a slow descent, because I'll be left hanging on forever.  Even if death is nothing, that's still some respite from this.  There's no lessons to be learned.

What I've found interesting is the change in culture between universities.  My undergraduate degree was at a university across town, which is in a semi new campus, and had a reputation for being a party school.  I'd have to agree, there was a focus on residence life and big music festivals (which were just a front for drinking and taking drugs).  As the other lived on campus, I got to see his various 'residence mates' engage in that behaviour while we were just playing guitar and computer games.  But I enjoyed my time there, it seemed like it was in the middle of nowhere, despite being next to a major shopping mall.  There was one side of campus that was entirely empty, and I used to go for walks along there because it was good for clearing my head.  Having the mall close by was also pretty awesome for eating during breaks, or checking out the movies in our extended breaks.  I have returned there a few times since I've graduated, for various things, and it always feels like a party atmosphere

The university where I'm doing further postgrad is the one where I did postgrad before, several years ago.  Regarded as the best university in the country, which is active in social justice and theoretical underpinnings.  Despite that leftist slant, a lot of conservative leaders attended it.  It's more of a relaxed atmosphere, and there are people everywhere!  The campus is the size of 4 suburbs, and very picturesque, but all the buildings are old, and it's some distance away from the city centre.  I don't think I would have been comfortable if I went there for my undergrad degrees.  But pretty much all of my friends went there.  It's a strange vibe.  Maybe it's just my own arrogance.  Or I'm wedded to my old ways.

Things are going to get busy at work soon.  That's ok.  It'll see me through to early next year.  I just need to manage the academic side of things.  Better get back into some sort of routine.  Better get some important work out of the way.

Okay, now to see what I can get done with 2 hours of time.

Is this really happening?  Yeah, I guess it is.

Joaquin out.