Saturday, January 25, 2014

Who Is This? What Is That?

Is everything designed to upset me?  Is this just what it is?  It's a question of loss, and one of hypotheticals.  There are a lot of unknowns, but maybe the field narrows slightly.  The world isn't what it used to be.  But there is an answer for everything.  There just has to be, right?

And what do you do?  In a purportedly Godless universe?  If there is no meaning or reasoning in life, then everything is just random.  There is no accountability, and there is little point to everything.  Can you even afford to be afraid?  Is that the normal response?  What of self-actualisation?  It's all a sick cruel joke, perpetuated by nobody!  That's the worst part of this entire charade.  When everything you know, everything you considered to be certain ends up as nothing.

How did all this happen?  How did my life turn to junk?  Did I have potential?  Did I have talent?  Have I left the land of logic and become creative?  All things considered, it's a little too late, I'm sure. 

What strange dreams.  Dreams of friends and just general weirdness.  People who don't know each other or associate with each other all suddenly brought together.  And me there to not even facilitate it.  It doesn't make sense.  My head is not in the right place, but I suppose it's just my subconscious.  What does it want? 

I've been working hard this week, and I've minimised the amount of work I have to do, but it's still substantial.  So I suppose I better get some of it done!  Also need to plan travel for my next trip. 

This day is just turgid.  That's as best as I can describe it.

Joaquin out.
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