Monday, August 12, 2013

Zombified And Electrified

I cannot being to explain how tired I am.  Being interstate again this weekend has severely fucked me up, and I did not sleep at all last night.  Needless to say, I am feeling like death right now.  Also didn't get back into my routine so there was no gym.  I'm definitely not with the program this morning, and I doubt I will be for the rest of the day.  Compounding everything right now is the fact that I'm also getting sick again - after just recovering at the end of last week.  What total bullshit.  I did not want to go, but I was forced against my will to travel and I'm very pissed right now.  Add to that I have left my expensive and warm jacket interstate, so I'm freezing my ass off here back home.  Oh well.  Them's the breaks and I'll deal with it.

But the sheer willpower required to stay awake is incredibly draining.  I don't know if I can make it through the remainder of the day without having a complete and utter physical breakdown at some point.  Guitar went stunningly well last night.  In fact, I'm a bit shocked at how well I played, despite not playing for several days.  It's funny how stuff like that keeps happening to me.  Play for ages and rehearse and I play like crap, then out of nowhere I'll play like a virtuoso, after not having even seen a guitar for a week.  Weird, I tells ya.

It's cold and it's raining and I just want to go back to bed.  But I've got things to do!!!  Ahhh!  Ok I better get on with it.

And with that, I don't think it's possible to have any blog material on any intellectually stimulating topics today.  For that I'm sorry, but I'm struggling here!  Things are interesting, to say the least.  I'm a bit happier, but there's still an element of unknowingness there.  Perhaps things are not as difficult as it seems.  But then what of the others?  Possibly more?  None of it is a sure game.  But it does keep me up at night.  And what does it take to live a life without fear? 

Oh crap, and with that, I have nothing to do!  Literally nothing to do for 90 minutes now until the end of the day.  So unfulfilled.  Maybe it's just the lack of sleep.

This place is funny in terms of leave.  Even if you have it in bucketloads, they're really reluctant to let you have it, even during periods of little work.  I wonder why that is?  I've had problems before.  I guess some people know too much and others know too little.  It balances out.

Do I need to smile?  What else is there?  Things just tend to go unanswered.  Boy I'm really struggling here!  30 mins to go, I can do this!!  I've still gotta drive home and make sure I don't pass out until mythbusters is over tonight. 

But I'll call it here.

Joaquin out.
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