Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Crumbling Into A Million Pieces

And here I am, broken and twisted, I don't even resemble a human being anymore.  Just a defeated shell of what I was.  Even failing at my own existence here.  And there's nothing left to do except wait out the clock.  And what of promises made?  Lies told.  Feelings, thoughts and whispers that were and then weren't.  My face is falling apart, especially when you factor in the dreams.  The dreams when all is ok and we can all just get along and carry on.  They're very troubling and disturbing. 

It's all a bit strange really.  Cause things just continue on, and you wonder what else is going on behind the scenes.  When things are available to you, do you make use of them?  There are some weird people out there, and some decisions just don't make sense.  What was said?  I could find out.  The shadowy curtains of deceit seek to obscure the truth.  And we can all just go strolling on to enlightenment.  Are people really that stupid?  Yeah, I think they can be.  We all can be.  Things are definitely happening in that spectrum.  Could life be so easy?

It was interesting this morning listening to the radio that scientists are asking for cooking classes to be compulsory for children, so they can learn to eat healthy and not eat out all the time.  What in the hell?  What is with the Western world's fascination with children cooking?  Outside of any developed nation, kids are NEVER preparing their own meals.  Why?  Because their parents will find the time to look after them (I maybe generalising here).  There is far too much focus on parents working - through no fault of their own, sometimes it's just to sustain a decent level of living - that they cannot be home to have proper family time.  And then these kids are left to fend for themselves.  But damn, when I was a kid I never ate out, I didn't have the money for it.  Kids these days, so spoiled!

Haha, speaking of spoiled, my bank spending account is so precariously low that I may actually be close to zero.  That has never happened in my entire life.  When I opened by bank account when I was back in primary school (as part of some endorsement deal the bank had with schools), there has always been money going into the account.  Whenever I spent, I made sure to top things up before spending more.  But goddamn, these last 2 weeks in particular have been hell.  Some people just have no concept of saving and only spending where necessary.

I slept well last night, despite the dreams.  Even getting up early wasn't too bad.  It's going to be nothing compared to my super early start on Thursday when I have to travel again, but luckily that's just a day trip for a very short meeting.  Even made it to the gym, and goddamn, it has been a while since I've done weights, so I am definitely not feeling the love right now, but I'll get back into the swing of things.  I am damnnnnnn hungry though. 

Why aren't people getting back to me with my answers?!  I need to know so I can move forward!!  Ahhh! 

Gotta have all my stuff in order!  It's good to get important tasks out of the way, isn't it?  Well at least it's a short day for me.  There's always so much going on behind closed doors here.  I wonder what?  I don't care for that crap, I do my work and then at the end I expect to be given what I ask.  And that doesn't happen. 

I'm done with it.

Joaquin out.
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