First In Line, But Ain't Got The Time

Yet all we are doing is just waiting, wishing, hoping.  Nothing changes.  I recall a lyric that I really like that has been translated "the more things change, the more they stay the same" and I think that is probably right.  The external things can all be different, but it's the internality of it all that never changes, regardless of the circumstances. 

Didn't get a single bit of guitar in last night, in fact I was incredibly busy just looking up internet plans and phones.  It's nice to get your head involved into a big project to get your mind off things.  Even if it's just for a few hours, it keeps your mind busy, even in the face of mind boggling options.  But I'll get to the bottom of things!  I'll make a choice!

Is philosophy junk?  It could be.  It's what separates us from the animals, because we can afford to be introspective.  We can think about the external fictions and realities of our lives.  But philosophy dies with humanity.  If we don't exist, it doesn't exist.  And we are nothing in the bigger picture.  We like to think we are, but that's simply not the case.  Philosophy is not a science, it cannot be ordained to be factual in the same way.  Then why do we bother researching it?  Why do we give degrees in it?  It's an interesting concept.  But it's not practical.

Had a weird experience this morning when I woke up at 5am with the overwhelming need to pee.  So I got up and went, and then when I got up 2 hours later, I needed to go again.  What the hell?!  That's never happened to me before in my entire life.  How is this happening?  It's not good, it's a sign of getting older.  I don't want broken sleep like that, and of course, needless to say I'm feeling pretty tired right now.  Doesn't help that I need to be out and about tonight. 

I'm just worried and perplexed.  And I still have stuff to do this afternoon!!  I don't know what it is lately, but I'm just not finding wonder in the world anymore.  There's no fascination or beauty.  I can tell some things are nice, but on the whole, it mostly isn't.  I'm just not interested.  There are so many problems that need to be resolved.  And yet here I am just sitting here focusing on the trivial.  Where are we headed?

There are so many bloggers out there with better clarity of expression than me.  They're good writers.  I've actually gotten worse as I've gotten older, I think I'm starting to lose the plot.  Things are muddled.  I'm getting word salad.  Well it was a good run while it lasted.

I'm done for the day.  Shine so brightly, but gone too soon.

Joaquin out