Here It Is

Argh!! Motherfucking fuckity fuck. Shit, goddamn and every other fucking cunting profanity you can think of. I can't believe it. What I had been waiting for. Right in front of me and I let it slip through my fingers. The perfect opportunity. God, why does doing what you want and doing the right thing have to be completely different?

All those feelings of anxiety and inadequacy have come back. I could have done something about it, but no. No, it was not to be. Do I get another chance? I mean how many chances do I have to squander before I can show that I'm up to it?

Goddamn, why?! Why is this happening? I'm not happy right now. Do I just sit here and grin and bear it?

I didn't want to blog today, but I guess I had no choice. Not after this.

Just to emphasise the point, let me quote some Smiths "punctured bicycle, on a hillside desolate - will nature make a man of me yet?"

I'm so sad. Oh woe is me rah rah rah.

I don't know how you can carry on like that when you know the truth? Acting like nothing happened.

Enough of this shit for today.

Joaquin out.