So let it be what it'll be (pre-empting the buzzer...)

So what has the time between my last post and this post brought me? Just a sea of violent thoughts. Just random, extreme violent thoughts. Everyone, everywhere, I don't even know why. It's just like some sick curiosity (what would happen if...)!

So what else is news? Not much to tell you the truth. I had one of the best dreams I've ever had in my life, and what's good is that I woke up just after I came out of that sleep cycle, so I remembered it very well and I can still remember it well now, and it was just the best.

In a lot of my dreams I'm in houses I've never been to (or even seen). I'm not a specialist when it comes to architecture, but I can appreciate a good building like art.
In this dream I went to a beautiful house, which was probably impossible from an engineering and physics standpoint, but damn it was just supreme.

I wonder if in death we can revisit our dreams. That would be the best. Some of mine have been fascinating but utterly confusing. I would like to go back to see if I could understand them better. That would be an alright death indeed.

I'm all about the nostalgia now. Case in point? I was walking home from work and I got caught in the draught of some woman who was wearing this perfume that reminded me of my childhood. I don't know why! I can't even remember what the smell was anymore (I made a mental note, but that didn't last obviously). I guess the nostalgia is probably due to the fact that I've realised my life has just turned to shit. I remember some anecdote somewhere where some guy was making an analogy between life and a dung beetle. Just endlessly pushing a pile of shit uphill. That's it's sole purpose.

I guess this period has also been characterised by extreme bouts of low self confidence. I remember one day I just felt like giving up (not LITERALLY), but just staying in bed and not giving a damn, but of course I just went into auto-pilot and just acted out the whole day. It was weird, like I had no faith or confidence in my abilities, or anything that I usually trust in myself - the things that make me ME.

Crisis here. She's incredibly beautiful. Like one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen in my life. Her body, it's like a perfect hourglass. But the best part is her personality. She's so friendly, so affable. Always smiling and laughing. I've never known anyone like her. I enjoy talking to her so much. That and staring at her like a slack jawed-yokel too, of course! The whole point and joy of youth just exhudes from her. That could be because she's almost 6 years younger than me! I'm not that old either, so that age gap is pretty big. She's just...wonderful!

This should tide you over until the next one! And yes, the patented Joaquin's Rate List (JRL) will be updated soon!! Have a nice one folks.