Monday, December 22, 2008

Conformity Ain't Originality!

No sir, it ain't.

Dread, like THE big feeling of something negative is impending, and it edges itself closer to you. This unknown sense that something is about to happen, and you know it's going to be bad. You need to adjust accordingly, but if you underreact you get hurt, and if you overreact, you look like an idiot.

Dread and fear now hand in hand. Dominating my mind. Paralysing me. Am I in control here? It sure doesn't seem like it. I need to be saved here. I wish it was anxiety, I know what that feels like, I can get over it, it's tough but it's not crippling. This is beyond anything I have known before.

So when did I even have this duality? I don't even remember, I'm sure I pinpointed it somewhere in a past post but now it escapes me. I've always spoken to myself (on the inside) as far back as I can remember, but now there's the same voice with differing opinions. Is it a conscience? Is it just me playing games with myself?

The last time I felt this sort of sick dread, I KNOW I posted about it, so you can go and find out for yourselves. I told my friend one time that this dread is akin to facing a mortal wound. What is this wound for? I enjoined no battle.

The next few days should be interesting. Have a nice day folks.
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