Maybe it's my illness, and the lack of going to the gym lately (due to sickness), but I'm really feeling my age. I'm mentally alert and with the program, but everything to do with my body is so much slower than it used to be. I can't recognise it anymore. The transition from 20's to my 30's has been almost imperceptible, but if I benchmark it now and just a few years ago, the difference is striking. I'm more susceptible to illness, it takes ages to get over colds, I can't really stay up late and get up early without dramatic impact on my performance. It takes longer to recover from exercise. That being said, I may be faster and stronger now than I ever have been. But it's all a bit of give and take.
As the door shuts on my 20's, I look back and wonder how weird everything was. The first half of my 20's was an interesting time, where I was learning so much at university and just generally hating on the world. You think armed with that knowledge you can effect good change. But the second half of my 20's has just been obscure. Everything has been on autopilot and I've just mentally checked out. Everything is all consuming apathy. You come to realise just how evil this world is.
I'm thinking about all those geniuses (so called) in the financial sector with their complicated models and rules. If that were true, how come there aren't a lot more very very rich people out there? I don't think they can predict anything with certainty, it's just not feasible. You can't possibly account for all the variables, it's just not possible. There's always something outstanding that wasn't factored in, some unknown, unseen force. We can't predict anything I'm afraid.
Just where is this day heading?? I have no idea. What's worse is that I can't leave! Have to hold the fort somehow. Maybe I need to get my butt in gear.
I'm done.
Joaquin out.
