Getting a procedure done on Friday, which means I get the week off after. I'm not quite looking forward to it. But time off work is always welcome. I need to catch up on a lot of tv shows and movies. I'm just gonna lay in bed or on the couch.
Life is an interesting beast isn't it? The people you grew up with, essentially children when you were one too, they all grow up. The adults of today were yesterday's children. It's hard to believe, isn't it? They have their own children and the cycle of life continues. When you're young, you feel invincible. You cannot die. But that's not the case. You will grow old, your body will fail you. You will die. And it's just hard to wrap your head around the fact that this is something everyone has to go through. My mind feels fine. I feel the same as I ever did, but it is this mortal coil which is not permanent. Does it just sneak up on you, or is it gradual? That's all assuming you live a normal, natural lifespan. A lot of people aren't that lucky. Think about it, you will be dead someday. You, reading this. Everyone reading this. Wow, what a revelation. Do our lives even matter? Is there any relevancy in what we do? Think about what you're doing now, is it of any good impact on the world? You probably have a positive impact on other people just by being alive, in ways you probably don't even know. But is there a wider, global perspective? If you're not making a positive impact on the majority, why are we even here? I'm reminded of a plot from Red Dwarf, where a regulator travels back from the end of time after ascertaining there is no point to life, and puts everyone on trial. If you've lived a worthy life, you get to live, if not, you get erased from existence. Where do we fit in the cycle of existence? More people are dead than are alive. At some point, that may change, but it's a very long time away.
Why do we do this? Why do we just go about our lives without regard to the end? To the finality of everything? Is it because we believe there is something else after? To compensate for the wasted days, hours, years, lives? Life as a unit of measurement, what does it entail? All the ups and downs? There is just so much we don't know. From both a broader, world view perspective (science and what not), and on a personal level. How do people feel when they can't understand something that I know? How do I feel when I can't understand something other people do? Is it a gnawing point? Or is it just ignored? We are a flawed species. It's time to speak up. Shout it out from the top of my lungs.
There are way too many variables, and what I thought I had grasped may not even be in my hands at all. That's the greatest illusion of all. Nobody knows anything. Or perhaps it can all be extrapolated. Nobody tells you what you need to know. Why is that? Do we not understand each other? The showdown is where it's at. There is no preparation, everything is just organic. But the question is if I even have the rage to maintain anymore. I've only got 2 hours until I'm out of here and I can't wait. There should be more to come tomorrow.
Joaquin out.
