You don't sleep. You stay up at night thinking about what happened and why
it happened. It's so hard to reconcile, especially when there are no
answers. Then you find yourself awake early in the morning, well before your
alarm goes off, and the thoughts are back in your head. You don't go back to
sleep. You just stay there and you don't want to move. You don't want to do
anything. You don't want to exist.
Just sitting here tapping the
keyboard, thinking of what to write. Does it even matter?
In this haze
of depression I realised that we'd notched up 800 posts, which is pretty piss
poor for a blog that's been around since 2004. But it's still something,
right?
Had blood tests this morning. I'm hoping for really bad news,
that would eventually put me out of my misery.
I could just go on a
total bender of cocaine and booze right now. Considering I've never done
cocaine and I don't really drink, that would be marvellous. Maybe I could
OD?
Fuck it, I have no motivation to be here. I am not coming in to
work tomorrow. I doubt anyone will notice.
Wednesday, June 06, 2012
blog comments powered by Disqus
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)