The real anarchy in my mind...

I think there is a time in everything, when it all starts over again. Where it ends is where it starts, a constant cycle. Why must everything be so linear? Just so we can leave things behind, and forget they happened? Its a scary thought, but what if everything did happen in cycles, and there was a way to find our way back to the start, would be make the same mistakes... This is a thought that I probably went to bed with, and just woke up thinking about it. What do we really know about anything? All know is there is a reason, which I shall know hopefully someday...

There is a real overload of work that I have on my plate, and I don't think its the ideal sort of work for someone like me. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure I can do this, as long as I do whats required, but this thought is on another tangent. I have a need to know everything as soon as possible, and I'm not happy till that point of satisfaction is reached. I've learned many things over night, or over a few days, all of those days filled with a lot of studying, and very little sleep. I remember learning PHP in 3 days to complete a project that I was required to work on. This gradual learning is what gets me really anxious, as I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, which they tell me will appear soon, but till it does, I'm not going to be able to rest in peace. This is a huge project, a year long one. I can't expect myself to know all its gears immediately, but I so want to know it all right now, and this is whats making me struggle. I have to somehow learn to let go of these anxious desires, and take it a bit slower. Hopefully, soon I'll be able to deal with these issues more naturally.


Anyways, I have to get down to doing some reading. Have a good one...