"I open my heart to view the darkness that lies inside,
And inside I see a light in which I can confide,
These hands they have felt the power in her design,
And in your eyes I could feel a kindness I can't define,
So why can't I express myself, like the way I had in mind,
Maybe I'm searching to hard, maybe its something I'll never find,
Wish I could pour my emotions on these four chords that I rhyme,
But to try this hard to find what I already know would be such a crime,
So I'll try not to make things fit, they already do, your hands in mine,
I'll take my thoughts and blurt them out on the line.
I choose life, cause death is blind, and darkness is hard to indentify,
And I need you, and its a thought I can't defy..."
Firstly getting up at 6 in the morning has gotta stop. I'm sick and tired of waking up and having nothing to do, yet I can't sleep in through the day like I would like to. I prefer the nights, but I'm not given a choice at the moment, so I guess its time to make the most of the time that I have. Wow, almost a week of my two week break is gone. Where did it, and what does it mean?? Its a shame that I feel everything means a thing. They should, but sometimes its perceived in a manner that is a crime. For me it means a week closer to when i can break free, and get back to where I want to be. In the arms of home. The thought keeps me ticking, better not explode prematurely.
In the italics is a verse or something of that sort, right now I guess its just a prose piece thats traversing thru my head. I think its easier to identfy what you're thinking about if you write it down on a piece of paper, so there it went. Left is Dulce, the better half of me. Its hard not being with her, things just aren't right. But I'll have to deal with that like I do everything else (I still dont have controll of the universe, but I will I promise you I will!!!).
Another day where I wake up and wonder who the hell I am. Don't you hate it?? Time to deconstruct myself and identify what it is that I really am. Have my favorite band playing on repeat, and trying to figure out who the hell I am (Third Eye Blind, never not wanted to hear their music, my classical solitude music). And what did I realize?? Nothing, I am still the same person I always was, probably with more baggage, but thats about it. People who know me probably know who I am a lot better than I do. I think I'm less honest with myself than I am with other poeple. Should conduct an experiment on myself. (So how would you like to be the genea pig for todays expriment master knaves?? Sure... as long as there are no anal probes to be used....)
Yes, that is right, third eye blind is still rocking my streo as it used to back in 97. Somethings never change, the way I feel about certain things never change. I can choose to ignore it for a while, but I always come back to what is good to me. No one argue that the self titled release was the best album that jenkins and the boys put out. So in remenicent memory, and a song that captured my thought, here is the lyrics for "Thanks a lot"....
THANKS A LOT - Third Eye Blind (1997 Third Eye Blind)
It's all in your mind,
she said the darkness and the light
the clock it bleeds for you,
but you never got the time in right
i woke you up and i slit the throat of your confidence
and we laughed in the night, and i felt all right.
All hands on deck boys'
cause this ship was made to sink
your swabber salutes you now,
but i know what he's thinking
i woke you up and i slit the throat of your confidence
and we laughed in the night,
and it felt all right.
Thanks a lot
Thanks a lot don't even go
Thanks a lot
The clothes she wears mis-fit,
and she's nervous when she speaks
her zombie mom and dad live in a separate house of freaks
woke you up and i slit the throat of your confidence
and we laughed in the night, and i felt all right.
Thanks a lot
Thanks a lot don't even go
Thanks a lot
I'm the one for you
cause i know all the dirty things you like to do
i'm the fear in your eyes
i'm the fire in your flies
i'm the sound that buzzling around your head.
Thanks a lot
Thanks a lot don't even go
Thanks a lot
Go have a listen to it if you get the chance, for some reason this song spoke to me, so I had to put it up. Or maybe I've just lost it?? None are hard to believe. This morning as I sat up having nothing to do, I was looking over my friends blog, and decided that I too would waste some time on blog things. Haha so I did a million of questionares. I had to change some color schemes to make it look good. Sorry, if you guys are pissed off down at blogthings, but it looks better with the layout. Cheers... And here are a few of them. You'll get to know me a bit better thru that. Though, you dont know me one bit if you've never met me... Your loss...
| Your Birthdate: September 20 |
 You are a virtual roller coaster of emotions, and most people enjoy the ride. Your mood tends to set the tone of the room, and when you're happy, this is a good thing. When you get in a dark mood, watch out - it's very hard to get you out of it. It's sometimes hard for you to cheer up, and your gloom can be contagious. Your strength: Your warm heart Your weakness: Trouble controlling your emotions Your power color: Black Your power symbol: Musical note Your power month: February |
| Your Theme Song is Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd |
 "There is no pain, you are receding. A distant ship's smoke on the horizon. You are only coming through in waves." You haven't been feeling a lot lately, and you think that's a good thing. The comfortable part is nice... but you should really work on numb. |
| Your True Love Is a Cancer |
 Why you'll love a Cancer: Cancer's loyal and sincere heart makes your own sensitive heart melt. Caring and devoted, a Cancer will take the lead in pursuing you - and not give up! Why a Cancer will love you: You're laid back enough to deal with Cancer's little mood swings and freak-outs. A fellow homebody, you know how make Cancer comfortable and at home with you. |
| Your Luck Quotient: 67% |
 You have a high luck quotient. More often than not, you've felt very lucky in your life. You may be randomly lucky, but it's probably more than that. Optimistic and open minded, you take advantage of all the luck that comes your way. |
| Your 2005 Song Is |
 Beverly Hills by Weezer "My automobile is a piece of crap My fashion sense is a little whack And my friends are just as screwy as me" You breezed through 2005 in your own funky style! |
| Your Heart Is Purple |
 For you, love is about establishing and developing a deep connection. If it's true love, it brings you more wisdom and inner strength. Your flirting style: Sincere Your lucky first date: An afternoon at a tea house Your dream lover: Is both thoughtful and expressive What you bring to relationships: Understanding |
| Your Seduction Style: Prized Object |
 The seduction game you play is tried, true, and still effective: hard to get. You know that the best seducers turn the tables - and get their crush to seduce them. The one running has the power, and you're a challenge that is worth the chase. You are a master of enticing and pulling back. Giving a little and taking some away. You are controlled enough to know rewards come after a long seduction dance. Even though you want to call, email, or say "I love you" first - you don't! You're style is the perfect mix of hot and cold - so much so that you have many suitors. Think Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany's ... or any of those creepy guys from the Bachelor. You're skilled at inspiring a chase. The real test is picking the person to slow down for. |
| What Your Sleeping Position Says |
You have a passion for everything - including sleeping. Outgoing and brash, you tend to still shock those who know you well. You tend to be selfish. You are the most likely type to hog the covers. You gravitate toward comfort and don't like extreme situations. |
I have to admit, some of these tests have accurate results!!! Its quite scary what can be told about you by just answering a few simple questions. They already know too much, ok my minions, go out and use the MIB tool to erase everyones memories!!! :P Cheers people.
