We are a lost generation...

Its time for another episode of KnavesBox... KnavesBox is now officially my new company, that comprises of just me, what do I do under that name, whatever the hell I want to... Its just something that I will keep as a title for whenever I need a title... Makes me feel important... We all know that thats definately not the case...

Caught up with a few friends of mine who I have been alienating for a while, and it has been hard to admit why, but once I got that out of the way, it was quite evident that, that is why they are my friends... The fact that they never gave up on me, and never will has motivated me even more... Motivated by the lack of doubt... Doubt can kill a person, second guessing is not someting that should be indulged in unless its a financial decission... In that instance you might save some money, but doubt will eat you alive and anything that crosses its path... Please give me a way to take out doubt from my head... One thing I am sure that these aflictions are definately our the window, because there is no doubt in my head that, that chapter has been written and published, and kept away for the historians to dwelve over... The past is history, literally, look at the horizon... There is a beautiful sunset to behold... Follow me into oblivion... I'll spark an inspiration in you...

Language is arbitary... It is a tool we all possess, and hold so dear, yet every chance it gets, it seems to get us in trouble... One thing can mean a million things, and how you read a sentence can the conotated meaning behind everything... Again, our minds are evil, the doubt will undoubtedly lead you to a conclusion that was never implied... As Kedis says "Take a screw, and twist my language, dont forsake me, I'm contagious" I'd rather not use language, and let our bodies have a chat, but its something we cant live without, and inevitably will get us in trouble, especially if doubt is present...

After talking to fknrat for a long time, I realized that I am finally at peace with myself... I've been screwing up for too long and I have no doubt that I am out of the deep end... And that complacancy can be a killer too, gotta watch that... Make eveyone know how much they mean to you, and let them feel it... The other thing that was evident after talking to him, was that we both agree that Dhaka is one of the worst places to be for any young adult with time on their hands... The crowds here are screwed up, and the free flow of chemicals is killing my generation... It is a sad situation, and I for one an worried, and scared, very very scared... There were a lot of good heads in my generation, and I've seen too many go down hill, we should change our name for this generation not the "MTV generation" but now we will call it the "Lost generation"... Our minds are the biggest assets that we poessess and we have lost a lot of the good ones... The world my friends are doomed... I thought our generation was going to make this world a better place, lower povery, create greater acceptance, fight for world peace, and live like we were meant to live, but that is not the case, the drugs have spoiled us all... Our prespectives are so skewed that an inclined plain looks flat... I am saddened to my core, my heart is filled with sorrow at the moment... Lets look at terrorist for example, there have all been drug fucked from the start, and it is killing us, REALITY it seems is not important to people anymore... Hitlers army, had their own drug... One of the favorites here among the kids... kept them so wound up that they followed the rule of one of the most insane people in the history of time... The american army uses dogs to sniff for opium inorder to find the musilm fundamentalist, as they asways have traces of it as they are completely hooked on it... If this is the result of our generation, what is to be of the next one?? In the 60s it was a downer, aka weed, pot, dope, mary jane... that too was screwed up, but at least it didnt have people so wound up that they did crazy things, they just became pacifists, and that I dont think holds so much problems for society... Stopped the Vietnam war didn't it... But still that is just as bad... We need to stay in reality where we exist as one, not a plain where mind and body are dicontimized... Without facing reality how can we fix the world that we live in?? Open your eyes!!! I think we owe it to ourselves, and for a better world for our children, lets not pretend we are helping it by showing materialistic gestures, but in reality that only helps so much, we are falling in a downward spriral, and someone needs to rescue us...

The other has been very supportive of me, and will be there to make sure that I am on track. Even kept him out of the picture on a lot of things, and it is life a lode had been lifted knowing that he knows, and that he will be there for me. Thanks dude, someday I will make it up to you... And I am sorry...

I remembered the first song I ever wrote last night, while contemplating about how screwed up this place is getting... So here is the chorus from that song, hold great meaning for me, I hope it teaches you something too... Song was called burnt, and writen in high school... So here goes:

Everytime I try to break free,
Someting takes a part of me,
Cause in my head I thrive to find,
A lonely place that will be kind,
These aflictions might be a thril,
But I am sure that its gonna Kill...

- Knaves (Burnt 2002)

Finally I will end this post with a short blurb that my good friend Subhan and I wrote after our exams, and it is worthy of a post...

D day... The 22 of June... A day that will live in infamy! The day two simple minded individuals can be known to have achieved the culmination of their blissful self truth... So live... extrapolate the ignorant misconceptions before your inevitable entrance into the unequatable abyss...

- Subhan & Knaves 22 June 2006

And I shall leave you with that thought, hope to blog again tommo, and will have less depressing reflections, as I am truly morning inside, a part of me feels dead... Saddened... Hasta Manana (with the ~ above the n that is)...