Shoot This...

Well as the other has alredy led you to believe, yes, its true, we are done with our exams, and fuck it feels good to be done with that shite!!! Its been the most screwed up last few weeks of my life. I know, youre thinking that I've probably had a worse time back in 2003 and 2004, but I have to say, at least there was not so much anxiouty or pain involved. When one doesn't care, it doesn't matter as much, but this time it felt like a shard of salt stabbed into my heart, and as the salt desolves releases the agony of futility... When it seems like everything is futile, thats when you know you've hit rock bottom...

There are a lot of things that I got up to in the last few months, that I am not proud of. To those involved, no I havn't forgotten what it ment, but I have to disassociate myself from the life that I had chosen, as it screwed up the life that I hold so dear. Someone once asked me what my life was worth, an answer that is not easily quantified, but ambiguity has become cristalized, and now I can give him an answer. There are things in my life that mean more than I do to myself, and for that I will pour every last drop of blood and sweat, and thats what my life is worth. Its not my life thats worth anything, its everything and everyone interconnected that is worth anything, invaluable, the world worth is not sufficient when weighting their value. Blinded by the curtains of my own mind, tripping into the abyss...

So for now, I will head on forward and try and rectify the prison of solitude which i have grafted for myself... Till tommo, ciao...