Sticklers For Success

Boy and I was just majorly distracted!  Started drafting this like 30 mins ago, and then got pulled into wikipedia and youtube nonsense straight after the subject!  Haha, internet specific ADHD, I guess.

You know what's strange?  Give this a try - just stare into a mirror.  Just stare.  Look at yourself, but don't focus on anything specific, keep your gaze general.  After some time, you'll realise that you're taking on the role of the 'objective observer' and that you start to look at yourself from the outside.  You start to see yourself as a stranger.  You don't know who you are anymore, and you become unrecognisable to yourself.  I wonder what that effect is called?

Ergh, my head is spinning, I've got a headache and I'm so damned tired, sleeping about 6 hours a night, probably even less.  But still functioning somehow.

Hahah, hilarious moment last night when I was trying to add some names to the JRL in my blognotes and realised that the name was already there!  Thinking 3 steps ahead here.  Just need to make the update and I'll be happy.

What's going on with my mind at the moment?  I'm losing my edge, but maybe I'm just tired.  Monday going on to Tuesday should be good for a larf, but we'll see.  Haven't had to stretch my stamina like that for a long time.

Haven't gamed in a while, and I don't miss it.  Looking forward to not having a computer or a functioning phone for a while.  We can give up all these things, they only make our fake, artificial lives easier.  And what's the point in that?

Got a crapload to do when I get home, and I'm wondering how that's even going to be possible, considering the state I'm in?  Again, I'm feeling like I'm on the verge of collapse.

Hmmm maybe I should just leave work early today and play some guitar.  That would be nice.  Didn't really get a chance to play last night.  But I'm looking forward to cutting loose at least a little bit tonight.  Gonna be a busy weekend.  One that isn't mine, yet again.

Is it just me, or is google chrome acting really shit lately?  It doesn't render a lot of pages (tumblr homepage for a start), or sometimes facebook and twitter, properly.  It also won't find a lot of other sites, saying there's a DNS issue.  But it works fine on other browsers, so why am I getting a DNS fail?  Didn't think Google would stuff it up so hardcore like that.  Shame really, cause it's a damn good and fast browser.

Anyone fancy a song and dance?  Must be baking outside.

Uhhh, everything's a failure.  It pisses me off writing like that because it just reminds me of stupid things.  Argh, I just wanna rage, but I think fatigue would take me down quicker than expending any energy on something.

Glad I'm not driving today, that's all I can say.  It wouldn't end well. 

Ahh the tragedy of human existence.  We don't choose to live, we don't choose to die (well most of the time), and existence just comes and goes and we are all unwitting passengers to time.

Let's roll.

Joaquin out.

More Than Friends, Less Than Lovers

Looks like everyone is keeping secrets from me.  Big ones, little ones.  Everyone is holding back from me.  How sneaky.  Everyone has their secrets, I suppose.  You're keeping secrets, there's only one I need to find.  Thank you Patch, and the rest of Motor Ace.  Oh Dave Ong, you were a great guitarist, I wonder what happened to you?

I was reading an article today that Bindi Irwin had her article regarding population control edited out by Hilary Clinton's e-journal.  Apparently it's a controversial theme?  Well I'll be damned, because I think it's a conversation we have to have.  Earth = finite resources.  People = infinite ability to reproduce.  The final result of that equation is not good.  People are bad for the planet, we're like a cancer on nature. 

Unfortunately, that is a necessity, as it makes our lives easier.  As things get tighter as more people are born, more wars will start over land and resources.  But I think at the heart of it lies something even more sinister - race and class.  Poorer people tend to have more children, and matters such as birth control are not discussed in places such as Africa, India or China.  This brings up allegories of the third world vs industrialised societies.  Should the only people who are allowed to procreate substantially be your typical white, educated masses?  Wow, let's not even go there.  I think we're at a crossroads now.  Humans can decide if they want to live sustainability and increase our length of time on this planet, or just let the status quo rule and doom our future?  We're all going to die.  Or maybe we should just totally overpopulate?  Here's my rule, the larger a population is, the more that is require for innovation and intelligence to shine through.  Ergo, only the greatest ideas get to flourish.  So if we have let's say 20 billion people in the world all of a sudden, maybe a few of them will be able to develop a clean burning and renewable energy source?  A cheap mode of interstellar transport?  Terraforming abilities?  Now that's something to get excited about.

Ahh, it had been a while since we've had some intellectual discussion on the blog, so it's a relief to get back on song with that.  Hopefully more while I still have the chance.

Cut my nails last night and the vibrato is just coming phenomenally to me right now, I'm loving every second of it.  Better make the most of the 4 more days I get of guitar.

The world is changing.  Every single day, it moves on in a seemingly unitelligible direction.  It concerns me, because at graduate camp for my first job, we engaged in a ridiculously complicated task to build towers, with rigid rules in place.  There's just so much going on, since you're working in teams, and a lot of other people are working in total isolation.  You think nothing is getting done, and then at the end of the exercise, somehow, everything is complete, and really well done.  I never quite got that experiment/game.  All it proved to me was that by slacking off and being lazy in a team, other people will pick up the slack and get the work done.  That's not a good lesson to learn, but it's a perfect metaphor for life.  You sit back and what not, and the world will go on without you, and all these amazing things will be accomplished without any assistance from you.  You want to be a part of it?  You have to take charge of your life and provide your own direction.  You cannot drift from thing to thing.  Seize your life.  Seize your opportunities.

That's all I can say for now.

Joaquin out.

Not Today

Not tomorrow.  Not ever.

I almost totally forgot to blog today, that would have royally sucked.  But I'm here, I'm blogging, damn it!  You can't stop me!

Just tired, so damn tired and losing the plot, losing patience.  Got an hour to get the best out of my hands here.  My wrists are killing me, and I don't know why.  I think I'll cut my nails tonight and enjoy some fantastic playing.  Everything is set and I'm going to be quite busy until I leave the country.

On that note, I better update the Joaquin Rate List (JRL) before I go, just in case something happens.  Don't want that hanging in the open!  Haha, don't say I don't care about our readers here!

Also got a brilliant idea to link back to the JRL, but you'll have to be incredibly clever to figure it out.  It'll be on tumblr, so just wait and see!  Might take a bloody long time though.

Just hearing news that I don't want to hear.  It's never a good thing.  Not when it reinforces stereotypes.

Darth Maul's speech(es) all seem directly relevant right now.

Quick, short, punchy paragraphs.

I will not forget.

That's it.

Joaquin out.

Bespoken To Victory

I'm starting to wonder whether any of my more disjointed posts make any sense to our readers.  Haha, I'm sure a lot of them look like the work of spambots!  Going back over old posts to newer ones, it really does look like spambots have taken over the writing of this blog, but I can assure you that it's 100% me, no matter how disturbing that may sound, haha!

I think it's good to go overseas and explore what's around you in the world.  The world is more than your backyard you know, and everyone needs to be aware of that fact.  When you see and hear of people dying and suffering everyday on the news, they're not just figments of people's imaginations, they are real.  They have feelings, they loved, just like you.  Just because they are somewhere else, it does not make them less valuable to society than you.

My nails are ridiculously huge right now, but I can still play decent guitar, which is a relief.  I'll cut them tomorrow or the day after.  Then my playing will be great!  Of course I'll be without a guitar for 2 weeks and that's going to blow.

It's never easy, is it?  Just going on with it.  Nothingness seems like a gift at this point.

There's so much to do, but I won't let the stress get to me.  I'm just going to lap it up and enjoy my time away.  After all, it's not here.  But I'm still on this planet.

In light of everything that's gone on, it's hard to get good information these days.  Even then, what would I do with it?  Things might be harder this time around.  Probably should have been a bit smarter, and questioned what I needed versus what I wanted.  But hey, I'm a greedy person, haha!

We may have issues with our comments system, I understand that.  The other put in a new system some time ago when we were getting spammed by hundreds of spam comments each week.  He put in the new system to have an authentication process, so that only people who wanted to comment could.  Of course the spam problem was fixed by blogger, but we still have the other's system in place, which isn't compatible with the notificaitons on the dashboard.  Therefore, I don't know if anyone has commented on any posts!  That is without going and reading through each post manually to see if there are comments.  Maybe we can fix that one day, we'll see.

That's it.

Joaquin out.

Gliss To High Note And Bend & Sustain

What a horrible weekend.  Did I come out on top?  I don't even recall.  Things just happen and I'm just here on the other side, struggling to survive.  Didn't really get to hit up guitar last night, but I still played.  Nothing new has come to mind yet.  But I am getting better at playing to our own stuff.  I should learn some more scales.  In fact, I should learn more theory, that would come in handy. 

Big cities are scary to me.  They're just so large and unwieldy.  You become nobody.  You're a nameless, faceless part of the mass.  You can never know anyone.  All those houses and apartments.  Who knows what the hell these people are getting up to.  It's a place full of secrets.  Secrets and strangers, at every corner.


Just utterly tired.  On the verge of collapse.  Didn't sleep properly again last night, but luckily still made it to the gym.  I don't know what's going on with me, but I'm getting these uber wicked pains in my chest (both sides), at various times of the day.  What the hell is going on?  It's all just contributing to the general malaise I'm feeling right now.  I wonder what it could be.  I think I just generally not feeling well.

11am!  Goddamn, it's only 11am!  I don't want to suffer through this day anymore.  I just want to go home and sleep, can I be allowed to do that?  Maybe I should just leave.  That would be fantastic.  My mouth is bleeding again, for no reason.  I think I may need to have my wisdom teeth pulled out.  Maybe later on.  Everything is just going wrong with me.

Ok, almost 12 now, the day is slow but as long as I keep myself occupied, I'll be alright.

It's weird how life is coming around full circle now.  2000 is now 2013, what the fuck?  How is that right? 

And now 2010-2012 has kicked me in the ass and it's all gone. 

Ok, only a little while to go, less than an hour.  Then it's just 4 more days of work and I can relax and be happy.  Well happiness is subjective, but at least I won't have to be at work and miserable.

If you want alone time, don't have kids!  It's that simple, I'm providing that as free parenting advice.

Ok, I'm done for the day.

Joaquin out.

What Can You Do?

When you find out everything could have been ok?

Everything would have been as it was supposed to be.

If I had known the truth, life would have been so different.

I wonder what it would have been like.

What can you do?

Just sit and take it I suppose.

Oh well.

Need time to think.

Joaquin out.