I'm Back

And more blogging to come. Just you wait and see!

Just Too Carefree For The Likes Of Me

After yesterday's brilliance, I am now short on ideas to blog! There
have been a few additions to the Joaquin Rate List (JRL), but until
the computer is up and running, I can't update it. The computer
repair guy is coming today to check out the problem, but I don't hold
out a lot of hope - he thinks he will need to take it back to his
place to fix it. This is annoying because my internet rolls over this
weekend, and I still have 20gig to go! That and I don't know what
sort of work is being undertaken, considering these guys charge on an
hourly basis. We'll see what happens.

Heading away for the weekend at this point, so there won't be anything
substantive from me at this point.

I just feel like locking myself in a tiny room and just playing mean,
mean blues guitar.

I've been watching Samurai X, and I gotta say, everything after the
Shishio arc absolutely sucks. At least I'm only 4 episodes from the
end. Then I can delete it from my hard drive.

And like I've said before, it's not so easy when the phone doesn't
ring. I don't even get messages anymore. Maybe I should just get rid
of my phone once my contract is up? I got a phone quite late, when I
was 18, and it has been nothing but a bane since I've had one. Just
another thing to carry that I probably don't need. I can always go
back to my Samsung YHj70 for my music. That was a good machine.

I'll never understand why NatCat stopped being friends with me. The
defriend on facebook was interesting, but she just cut me out totally.
What's even weirder is that I see her every now and then in the city
and when she spots me she seems all embarrassed and ashamed. It's
something I just don't get. I would have thought it would be
something that is relegated to just females, but guys have also just
stopped talking to me. I wonder what the hell it is?

Why am I so self-loathing lately? I can't do it. I just hate myself
so much. Such malice can't be good for me. Hell, it can't be good
for you either. Look at what I'm turning into! Goddamn, just sit and
look, it's not what I want to be! I just need out, out out.


So what the fuck? You say you're too busy to talk to me, yet I know
you just sit at home in the evenings doing nothing, or during the day
just sitting on google chat. Too busy talking to your asshole friends
who just want to sleep with you? I'm sure you have plenty of time to
entertain them. Guess it wasn't so hard for you to fall out of love
with me. I'm turning into a version of Gollum from Lord of the Rings,
and you are the one ring. How I love you and hate you. Maybe I'll be
a different person when you see me again.

But who knows, right?


Joaquin out.

Modern Warfare 4: Incentives To Win

In light of my semi-recent readings on Freakonomics and
Superfreakonomics (again, props to the other for introducing me to the
books), I was thinking yesterday about incentivised warfare. Let's
say that a smaller country was invaded by a larger one. It would make
sense that the larger country would prevail on the strength of numbers
in its military force. However, let's just say that the smaller
country offered incentives to its citizens to capture or kill enemy
combatants. Just imagine how quick the tide of battle would turn if
things such as cash rewards, or real property, or tax breaks were
offered for proof of bodies? At the moment, fighting is (typically)
limited to people who want to fight just because they want to. They
are either paid for it, or they have a point to prove (terrorists
etc). People don't fight as a means of reward via incentives. I mean
some batshit nutcases in the US army have been documented as
collecting body parts as souvenirs and what not, but in reality, these
things are of no real value. Start offering people money for dead
bodies, and it's all fantastic. Armies cannot usually engage
civilians in standard rules of engagement, so it would be a very
interesting scenario.

Aiming to look into the computer situation tonight. Just going to
open up the case and see how dusty things are, as well as to see
whether there's any loose cables on the motherboard or on the hard
drive connection to the motherboard. If Windows XP is corrupt, I
wonder if I will be able to salvage anything off my desktop - at least
hopefully I can! Doesn't matter if I need to format at some point or
reinstall windows. Though I am curious as to how my XP became
corrupted. Then again, it may just be a mobo issue. Picking up my
new computer next weekend. Still also looking to offload my bike this
week, which would be handy, cause it would pay for my computer, as
well as the repairs to the existing machine.

Then again, I'm also enjoying this time without the computer, I do
recall that in Sydney before I bought a new machine, I was just
enjoying watching tv from time to time, as well as playing Fifa 2004
on my Xbox (not to mention Halo, and loving every second of it). I
just found I had more free time for stuff rather than being chained to
my desk for no reason at all basically. Hmm, let's aim to keep this
relatively short today. I'm also just playing guitar with no scales
or exercises. Just playing things I enjoy, and it's fun!


So what is going on? It has been days and I do not know if you are ok
or well. I know you've gone home, but how. I feel abandoned, and I
wonder if I'm the one who gets the least amount of your time and
attention now. I'm sure you'll just say that you were busy, but
really, can you not spare 5 fucking seconds of your day to say that
you're ok? And I wish I did not care, but I do, and that cannot be
helped. It's like you want to get rid of me from your life. And I
know you don't think about me. I know you don't care about me and
that really pisses me off. I'm not as selfless as I was before, not
after knowing you.


Joaquin out.

There Seems To Be A Lot Of Leather For This Less Than Fair Weather

As you have probably guessed, I have been blogging lately from
Blogger+ on my iPhone, which is a pretty nifty program. It's hard to
find GOOD free blogging software, so I decided to spend a few bucks to
get this, and I am happy with the functionality. It will never beat
being at a computer, but it certainly is the next best thing,
especially on the move. All I'm doing is writing my comments up in
notepad from my work computer when I get a spare moment, and then
e-mailing them through, so I can copy and paste them on my phone when
I get home. Good system!

Getting interesting weather lately, where it's cold in the mornings
and evenings, but it is very warm and mellow during the day. Haha,
here I am talking about the weather, what boring blogging fodder!

Aren't periods funny things? Putting aside the psychological changes
that occur to women when they happen, there's also the physical
changes. A lot of women get very aroused during these times, but they
are also feeling disgusting and unsexy - it's an unfair world right?
Haha.

In reference to the most recent post before this - I knew a girl
called Kristi many years ago. I usually don't dream about people that
I know, so it was odd that I had her in my subconscious.

Anyhow, Joaquin out.

Kristi

Is it worrying that I still dream about you?

Victim Of My Own Crimes

Hardware failures are actually quite common. It's never happened to
me before, so I figure it's probably my turn to have one. Hard drive
or my motherboard has bought the farm, and I'm getting boot up errors.
My keyboard is unresponsive in boot up, so I can't select safe mode
(I don't have a PS/2 keyboard), and my computer just stays on the
loading Windows XP screen and nothing happens. Then I hear this weird
buzzing sound, like the CPU is working over time, and then after a
while (maybe 20 minutes), the computer has a quick blue screen of
death (I didn't even know you could have one outside of windows),
before resetting and refusing to go past the boot procedure anymore.
I'm looking forward to getting my new comp even more now! But first I
need to get this thing fixed so my parents can have a decent computer,
and so I can save some stuff off my hard drive. I've got a feeling
that either Windows is corrupt, or the motherboard or the hard drive.
Researching computer repair places as we speak.


Feeling like I've been left alone. I knew you were not well, but I
wish you had told me that so I didn't wait all day to hear from you.
It kind of feels like I've been tossed aside, and I meditate on these
two issues: where are you, and what are you doing? For someone as
clingy as me, being apart from you is not good. I wish I was a better
person so I could let things like this go. I hate looking at maps of
this town, because I'm reminded of all the places we've been, and the
places you've gone without me. Places with him where you've enjoyed
yourself without me. In fact, I just hate this place. I hate this
town, I'm sick of this life. I just need out. Out please?


Having an interesting conversation at work. The stereotype is for
women to call out their partners names during sex, but do guys call
out their partners names? That brings up several questions. Are guys
always required to do all the work in the bedroom? Can girls be
counted on to be "that good" enough so that they can bring out the
same level of pleasure in a guy? Haha ok, well speaking from
experience, yes I have, but I wonder what the rest of you think?

Joaquin out