So, how long was I holding my breath for?
What a start to today. First, I missed my bus, by mere seconds. I saw it come and leave, and I was just across the street. No, I missed the early bus! It is nice and quiet and quick to the destination, then I had to wait another 12 minutes to get the next available one. Then I get to work, and my computer just decides to have a spack, and my internet and my inbox is not working. Neither is the network. So essentially, I can't do any work! Oh well, that's a shame!
I knew I should have just stayed in bed this morning. Now I have to pick up my parents in a little while and take them home. At least I don't have to be at work for the whole day. Then it's just relaxing at home watching Community until picking up my wife later in the afternoon.
I remember back in uni, when I was able to stay up late (as in physically capable of doing so), that Win (or Nine) played a lot of really good movies after 1am. I remember that in the space of a month they played both "And the Band Played On" as well as "The Twilight of the Golds". I wonder if that stuff still happens anymore? I wouldn't know, I just have too much other crap to do, and I can't really stay
up past 2am, on a really late day. I guess I'm just getting older and this body is in the process of shutting down.
I realised last night, at about 11:40pm that my life had taken the course of the film Serendipity. You know, things fell into place in a way, but I couldn't tell what were signs, or whether I was reading too much into things that weren't there. But then it hit me, at that time that I made the opposite choice to John Trager and I went with the status quo, despite everything that Sara represented. Wow. Just one
word, wow. And that thought kept me awake all night. Let's see where that ends up?
Joaquin out.
Tuesday, March 06, 2012
Monday, March 05, 2012
Ohhhhhh Yeahhhhhh (Joaquin's Not Quite Day Off)
Rule number 1: don't buy girls phones. Why? I've found that whenever I have done that, the relationship has just broken down straight away. I wonder why that is, haha. Or perhaps don't buy girls nice stuff?
Was able to do some work today, but it's still definitely slim pickings on that front. I'm so bored!! I've finished my Enough Rope transcripts. Oh well, at least that means that I can write some bigger posts for the blog. That's what it's all about.
I really need to cut my nails. They're a bit long at the moment and hampering my awesome guitarness.
More heartbreak later!
Joaquin out.
Was able to do some work today, but it's still definitely slim pickings on that front. I'm so bored!! I've finished my Enough Rope transcripts. Oh well, at least that means that I can write some bigger posts for the blog. That's what it's all about.
I really need to cut my nails. They're a bit long at the moment and hampering my awesome guitarness.
More heartbreak later!
Joaquin out.
Sunday, March 04, 2012
The Story Of Y
This utterly infuriating woman. Smart, headstrong, stubborn, insecure. I'm sitting here with my beanie, t-shirt, jumper and jacket and scarf on, but it's thoughts of her that is actually keeping me warm. I know a fair bit about her past, but not enough, because I wanted to know all there was to know about her. Part of me is glad that she's gone, but it is also equal other parts sad that she is. Was she a bad girl? Getting careless with a delicate man? Maybe, and I knew it, but beneath she was all gold.
Maybe it was because how I liked the way we looked together between the sheets? We are matched in so many ways. It's like it was perfect.
Perfect enough to get in the way of her 10 year relationship with her live-in partner. I didn't care. I didn't care how wrong it seemed, or even how wrong it felt at times, because I did feel the guilt. But I loved her. I love her.
It is true, you haven't really been in love until you've felt the urge to just wrap your hands around that person's neck and squeeze for all you're worth. And I didn't think love like this was possible.
From your J.
There's much more to say. Just, not right now.
Joaquin out.
Maybe it was because how I liked the way we looked together between the sheets? We are matched in so many ways. It's like it was perfect.
Perfect enough to get in the way of her 10 year relationship with her live-in partner. I didn't care. I didn't care how wrong it seemed, or even how wrong it felt at times, because I did feel the guilt. But I loved her. I love her.
It is true, you haven't really been in love until you've felt the urge to just wrap your hands around that person's neck and squeeze for all you're worth. And I didn't think love like this was possible.
From your J.
There's much more to say. Just, not right now.
Joaquin out.
Friday, March 02, 2012
Sleepers In The Fog, And These Feelings Don't Want To Be Found
Since work is utterly boring, I have been spending my time reading transcripts from Enough Rope. Not all of them, but just the ones of interest. That's right, the taxpayer pays me 90k+ a year to be bored and kill my imagination. I was reading Don Burke's interview, and he had this awesome advice "I worked out very quickly at school - if you're a real rebel, be invisible. 'Cause if you stand up to authority
they bash you into line, but if they don't know you're there you can do whatever you want." - Amen. That's something I 100% agree with. Don't believe me? Try it.
Why is Andrew Denton a good interviewer? He is obviously intelligent, and a good listener. Let's not also forget the meticulous research that manages to surprise his guests, but I think there is something else. I think Denton comes across as non-threatening. Isn't he just that guy that all the girls fall into the 'friendship zone' with? People will just tell him things!
I remember back in High School I used to 'date' a girl named Holly. I say 'date' in such a fashion because we didn't really date. I saw her probably 3 times over the space of 3 years. I recall that she used to dance - square dancing (haha yes I am laughing right now), which she was quite keen on. There was a boy called Steven who I had gone to Primary School and High School with. He also square danced. I grew
quite agitated that Holly would never make the time to see me. She was in fact one of those "oh I hate planning, let's just do something off the cuff" sort of girls (yes the ones I hate). So of course, nothing happened! It turned out that she and Steven danced at a few of these things together! That pissed me off to no end, because here was just some annoying guy who all of a sudden was able to see my
girlfriend more than I did. Oh well, she was a bad girl anyway - she ended up cheating on me repeatedly. The issue is that it was a relationship I gained and learned nothing from. I only carry scars. But if I was able to go back in time and try to stop myself from getting into that relationship to spare myself wasted time and heartache, I don't think the younger me would listen, and that is just incredibly sad.
Goddamn, I really need to stop sending myself my blognotes through Gmail. At night times I try to recover them so I can post them here (since I'm obviously not going to do that at work), and I see your name on google chat. Fuck. I hate seeing your name online. I feel so pressured to talk to you and entertain you, since you think I'm
such a bore. Sorry I can't live up to the premise of your action man boyfriend, who has the all fucking personality of a cardboard box, mind you. Well I apologise if life is just like that sometimes. From my desk, I turn my head to the left and I can see the apartment we spent a few hours at all that time ago. In fact I can see into the room where we cooked together and made angry love in that bed. It's all a bit disconcerting that I can see it from where I am almost everyday. The problem was we just couldn't stay there. I didn't want to leave. But we had to. You had to go home. So did I.
And that's just how it is.
Joaquin out.
they bash you into line, but if they don't know you're there you can do whatever you want." - Amen. That's something I 100% agree with. Don't believe me? Try it.
Why is Andrew Denton a good interviewer? He is obviously intelligent, and a good listener. Let's not also forget the meticulous research that manages to surprise his guests, but I think there is something else. I think Denton comes across as non-threatening. Isn't he just that guy that all the girls fall into the 'friendship zone' with? People will just tell him things!
I remember back in High School I used to 'date' a girl named Holly. I say 'date' in such a fashion because we didn't really date. I saw her probably 3 times over the space of 3 years. I recall that she used to dance - square dancing (haha yes I am laughing right now), which she was quite keen on. There was a boy called Steven who I had gone to Primary School and High School with. He also square danced. I grew
quite agitated that Holly would never make the time to see me. She was in fact one of those "oh I hate planning, let's just do something off the cuff" sort of girls (yes the ones I hate). So of course, nothing happened! It turned out that she and Steven danced at a few of these things together! That pissed me off to no end, because here was just some annoying guy who all of a sudden was able to see my
girlfriend more than I did. Oh well, she was a bad girl anyway - she ended up cheating on me repeatedly. The issue is that it was a relationship I gained and learned nothing from. I only carry scars. But if I was able to go back in time and try to stop myself from getting into that relationship to spare myself wasted time and heartache, I don't think the younger me would listen, and that is just incredibly sad.
Goddamn, I really need to stop sending myself my blognotes through Gmail. At night times I try to recover them so I can post them here (since I'm obviously not going to do that at work), and I see your name on google chat. Fuck. I hate seeing your name online. I feel so pressured to talk to you and entertain you, since you think I'm
such a bore. Sorry I can't live up to the premise of your action man boyfriend, who has the all fucking personality of a cardboard box, mind you. Well I apologise if life is just like that sometimes. From my desk, I turn my head to the left and I can see the apartment we spent a few hours at all that time ago. In fact I can see into the room where we cooked together and made angry love in that bed. It's all a bit disconcerting that I can see it from where I am almost everyday. The problem was we just couldn't stay there. I didn't want to leave. But we had to. You had to go home. So did I.
And that's just how it is.
Joaquin out.
Thursday, March 01, 2012
Life Is...Torture
You're My Lover, Not My Rival, at least that's what I keep telling myself - everyday is like survival. Props to Culture Club for that one.
It's my own personal crying game or sophie's choice!
Kaci Brown - a name you probably won't remember. A singer from the early 2000's with a forgettable song - unbelieveable. Having said that though, the piano line in the verse is spectacular. It's probably one of the best piano lines I've ever heard. It's like it contains its own counter melodies, despite it being on the same instrument.
I wonder what death feels like? The actual moment you know? Does it feel like anything?
Am I bitter? Yes, perhaps. All this sexual frustration and feelings of isolation and resentment.
In the game of love, why does persistence need to be a factor? Do women just give up? There's loads of implications if that's just the case. But I find it to be bullshit. Why is it needed? If you like someone, why not just go for it? No games, I hate games! If you had your opinion wrong the first time and needed to 'open your eyes' and see what was going on, you are an idiot.
Deep Spring Orange Lemon & Lime was my High School drink. It reminded me of Stephanie. I crushed on her for a number of years, and she did not even know my name. We didn't even go to the same school. I really hate seeing her around town these days. And I'm starting to dislike the drink because of that.
Grr I'm just pissed off now!
Why?! I don't even know, goddamn it!
Joaquin out.
It's my own personal crying game or sophie's choice!
Kaci Brown - a name you probably won't remember. A singer from the early 2000's with a forgettable song - unbelieveable. Having said that though, the piano line in the verse is spectacular. It's probably one of the best piano lines I've ever heard. It's like it contains its own counter melodies, despite it being on the same instrument.
I wonder what death feels like? The actual moment you know? Does it feel like anything?
Am I bitter? Yes, perhaps. All this sexual frustration and feelings of isolation and resentment.
In the game of love, why does persistence need to be a factor? Do women just give up? There's loads of implications if that's just the case. But I find it to be bullshit. Why is it needed? If you like someone, why not just go for it? No games, I hate games! If you had your opinion wrong the first time and needed to 'open your eyes' and see what was going on, you are an idiot.
Deep Spring Orange Lemon & Lime was my High School drink. It reminded me of Stephanie. I crushed on her for a number of years, and she did not even know my name. We didn't even go to the same school. I really hate seeing her around town these days. And I'm starting to dislike the drink because of that.
Grr I'm just pissed off now!
Why?! I don't even know, goddamn it!
Joaquin out.
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