What Is This?

Having a David After Dentist moment right now at work. Had one hell of a night. Because of a crazy weekend with too much caffiene, I napped a fair bit all over the place. Then last night I could not sleep, and I was up for like an hour because my body clock has totally changed. By the way, if you have not seen David after dentist, I highly recommend that you Youtube it now, because I think it's a perfect post-modern dissection of society. He asks some very challenging and confronting questions. Interpretation is in the eye of the beholder.

I really dislike that street and all the bad memories it brings. Can't even walk down there, at least I am not situated anywhere near it anymore.

Perhaps the other city brings out the better side of me. But I am here now and there's nothing I can do about it.

Arghh, I am struggling not to just pass out on my desk right now! At least there's stuff to do for a change!
Weekends are getting weirder. I've found that I sleep a lot more than I used to, especially in the day, because I can no longer sleep long hours during the night. I wonder what's going on? Perhaps it's just a by-product of getting older.

I know I change this list every couple of years, but the two best games I've ever played are Final Fantasy 7 and Panzer Dragoon 2. They both transport you to very different worlds where they utterly consume you. Panzer Dragoon I loved for the music, art style, and the insurmountable odds you face in taking on a whole empire singlehandedly. I love FF7 because it's brilliant. The bit where you escape Shinra HQ in the dead of night after finding out your locks are all open, there's no music and it's scary as hell?! I LOVED it. FF8 I didn't enjoy so much, in fact I found it quite depressing at times, and I don't like to think about it. I was helped along with FF7 by a strategy guide by Joe Winiarski (I hope I've spelled it correctly), who had the best strategy guide I've ever seen. Well summarised in places, and very detailed in other places, it was brilliant. Had pictures and diagrams and explained things in very descriptive terms, so you'd never be lost. From memory, I don't think the guide exists anymore. Joe, if you're out there, please upload it again, it was awesome!

I wonder what stage of freudian juvenile development I am stuck in? Haha, then again, outside of oral and anal, I don't even know what the other stages are, or if there are even any other stages!!

The more I think about it, the more I realise I could do with a holiday. Even away from games, hell, maybe even away from guitar. Just something different, where I'm forced to shutdown.

I can't wait for the end of the day.

That's it for now.

Joaquin out.

The Times...They Are A Moving On

The face of the world changes.  It's just the nature of the world.  The status quo is never around for too long in the grand scheme of things.

Power shifts.  In previous times it was the roman empire.  Ottoman at others.  Mongolian etc.  With the West in charge at the moment, it's not a guaranteed thing in the future.

It's just the way of the world that the balance of power shifts to other areas, and as we're starting to be told now, this is apparently the Asian century.  So we'll see how Asia handles things in terms of power and responsibility, and how the rest of the world responds in kind.

In fact, the face of the world itself is changing.  In the West, white people will gradually become the minority. As non-white people are breeding at a faster rate and populating more, it stands to reason that interracial marriages will increase and white people will gradually fade away, as white skin is a recessive trait, genetically speaking.  Not being white, I'm not sure how I would take the extinction of my 'skin colour' but I think the important thing to take away is that we are all people, regardless of our skin colour and what not.

I wish I wasn't born now.  I would love to see how things are in the future.  But of course that is meaningless without being able to see into the past and notice how far we've come.

But that's enough for this time of the night.

Joaquin out.

The Emperor's New Moves

Got me feeling all paranoid.

Haha, hope you enjoyed my morning blog from the bus this morning.

I'm just so tired and run down, and to me it seems like everyone else I know is in the same boat. I wonder what's going on with that?

Didn't really get to play a lot of guitar last night, but I am raring to go this weekend. Maybe even work on some new stuff.

Also lacking in stuff to talk about today, so it may have to be a short one, but we'll see.

Don't ever get so attached to wikipedia pages! You'll find that over time the information changes, and when you go back to a page that you think you're relatively familiar with, a whole new slew of information will be on there.

What I'll never understand is the need for selfies on social media. Girls aren't the only ones who do this, guys are guilty as well. What's the deal?! I do think they're a cry for attention and approval from other people, rather than seeking happiness from within yourselves. What horrible insecurities to have.

One thing I dislike about the lost and the damned episode of GTA IV is that I hate using the chopper to get around as Johnny! I preferred sports cars when I was playing the regular IV as Niko. The bikes (especially the sports bikes) were difficult to control and handled nothing like real world bikes.

In fact, you know I think the game with the best driving physics has to be Driver? Well most likely Driver 2. I used to just turn it on and drive in Chicago, and I'd love it. Well that and Rio, god it was fantastic. It wasn't like Need For Speed where you could turn 90 degrees going 180 km/h or something crazy like that. You had to brake to take corners, and weight and intertia heavily impacted your turning ability at speed. In that regard, I think it was even better than Gran Turismo.

What's on the outside of space? Is there nothing? Like on the edge of the universe? Is it so infinitely dense and curved that you would just re-appear on the other side? Or you can't actually physically cross it because it's 'nothing' - like a void made of rubber that contains no matter or anything like that?

Will be getting Unreal Tournament Game of the Year edition shortly, I cannot wait! Had many a grand match, while listening to 'the take's over, the break's over' on repeat. Good times, good times!

Wow, everything dies. Everything dies. Everything. It's soul sucking.

Audiobooks - waste of time. It's for lazy people who can't be botehred to actually READ a book. What I don't like is how certain audiobooks cut out chapters and plot points from the actual book. Why??!! Silly.

We are all so small in the scheme of things.

I have no time for people who cannot plan ahead. Those who can't deal with long term plans and get distracted by things immediately in front of them. How shallow and selfish.

I'm starting to think that I was a 90s gamer. Not so much 2000's onwards. Hey, that's cool with me. Life changes, and you start to get other things on your mind. Haha, speaking of games, I recall Anj telling me that his brother made it out of Midgar in FF7 in 8 hours! That shit is insane!!! It took me 8 hours to figure out how the battle system worked! Haha, that's pretty awesome.

I'm rotting from the inside out, I can feel it.

The word trope is overused these days. Just look at me. Taking a hard look at myself. Bored out of my mind just sitting here, this is such a waste of a life. A waste of potential. Don't turn into me. Do we share the same thoughts? Perhaps I'm too engrossed in my own crap here to even care. The clouds fall to the ground, and it's all very poetic and majestic. We're all going down.

Anyway, I've got nothing else to say.

Joaquin out.

Blogging

On the bus, yo, I'm blogging on the bus. Motherfucker!
Hahahhahah

A Question Of Nothing

Got my tax assessment the other day, and I'm still up to pay $2,000! What a crock of shit! I get tax withheld from my salary anyway, but I only earned about $2,000 in interest anyway, which gets obliterated by stuff like medicare levy and the surcharge and Higher Education fees. Whoever invented the HECS system needs to be found and shot, or if they're already dead, have their bones exhumed and hanged. It's a silly system and inconsistent. People who went to university when the system was free have a HUGE advantage over the rest of us, as they would have made comparatively more money at the same age, since they wouldn't have been in the same level of debt automatically. Spare a thought for people who go to university in places like the US, where loans have been privatised and people are getting royally fucked over. It's not right, especially not over education.

What's more interesting is the flood levy additional tax that we have to pay (thankfully only temporarily). I think that's ridiculous. This additional tax was made to cover costs from the major floods we had a few years ago. I think that's absolute bullshit. Natural disasters happen often, and a lot of areas are well known to be prone to them more than others. Essentially, you are taking the risk when you move to places like that. So why should the rest of the country have to bear the cost for reconstruction? People should be fucking insured for this, and Governments should just cough up the money for it. When we had major bushfires here when I was younger, no additional tax burden came, people were forced to survive on their own. These things are only going to get worse as times goes on and we fuck up the environment even more. The Government better not pull this sort of crap again.

Somebody is crying at work. Ummm...awkward.

I was reading the other day that in Ireland, a woman died because the hospital refused to abort her pregnancy, and the cause of death ended up being blood poisoning. This is what happens when the religious zealots get any sway in the political process. Apparently in Ireland you cannot have an abortion if the heart of the foetus is still beating. This is despite the fact that the mother was dying as a result of the pregnancy. Well done, Ireland. You fucked up. What are all the right to lifers going to say about this now? Are they glad that in their quest to keep everyone alive, their actions have lead to the deaths of two? Bravo, bravo.

In lighter news, I've been reading up on Grand Theft Auto V, which sounds like an absolute blast! I prefer Los Santos over Liberty City. Although, my preferred place would have been San Fierro, because that's where I was primarily based in GTA SA. Anyway, I read that the map was big enough to accommodate the red dead redemption map, the GTA SA map AND GTA IV map, and still have room left over. Holy crap, this game is going to be massive, I can't wait!!! At least I'm on my way to getting through The Lost and the Damned. Hopefully it will be out of the way quickly so I can finish the Ballad of Gay Tony and be done with GTA IV, finally. Sorry, it just wasn't fun. GTA SA was the shit, I love that game!

University taught me a lot of important things, in hindsight. What's closure in the scheme of things? These days are just passing us by.

Could a valid thought even enter your head at this time of the year? Jesus, it's been practically 6 months. Half a year. For fuck sake. That's not right. And I guess in other ways, we are very alike.

It's been another lazy day here. Oh, the hopeless emptiness of revolutionary road. You shouldn't have told me to watch it, cause in hindsight it's brutal to watch and understand and ponder on. Then again, it was more Melancholia when it all fell apart, right?

Been reading up on Blade Runner, particularly the death of Roy, who delivers a tremendous speech before he karks it. Do memories become lost in time when you die? Like tears in the rain? Isn't it so unfair that if there is nothing on the other side, that memories, your experiences amount to nothing? I mean several billion years ago, the universe just roared into existence, and here we are right now. There you are, at whatever time, reading this.

Been trying to get back into chess lately. I think my issue is that I'm too tight. I don't like to sacrifice anything, to offer or even accept any gambits. Therein probably lies my problem in trying to become a better player. I never think a move ahead. Then I think back to the good times and I wonder whether I threw that match to make you happy? It shouldn't have ended in a draw. I knew what I was doing, and I made deliberately silly moves to see what would happen. Would have liked a re-match though.

Memory is viewed very interestingly. I remember when I was overseas with my cousins in about 1999/2000, and I watched them revise for stuff. They didn't actually sit there and 'learn' stuff per se, instead, they read pages and pages of textbooks and just committed them to memory. I then realised that everyone in Asia studies this way. It's not about contextual learning, it's about being able to regurgitate facts and figures back at the teacher. I don't really classify that as learning, it only exercises your memory, and having a great memory isn't all that it's cracked up to be if you don't know how to use it.

As I've moved into a management role at work, it has become more and more obvious how much office politics comes into play. It's really disheartening, because it's like an episode of Survivor, but without the payoff or the fun challenges. People conspire against each other, gossip, create alliances and cliques, it's like something out of high school. Surely this happens in most (if not all) workplaces? Doesn't this cost the world a LOT in terms of lost productivity?

Been watching Misadventures of an awkward black girl lately. While I thoroughly enjoyed season 1, I think season 2 has become really melodramatic and depressing. Sure, there have been some shining moments of comedic brilliance, but overall, I feel drained and unhappy after watching an episode, which is not good, considering most eps are 10-12 mins long! Imagine if it was a 30 minute sitcom?!

As most of you know, I've been getting back into the swing of things with guitar, and concentrating solely on on our original stuff. The other has written some truly amazing chord progressions and sequences. But not just that, I've been paying closer attention to his lyrics, some of which are incredibly hard hitting and poignant.

Holy moly, this week has seen an absolute littany of huge posts from me! Haha, I guess it's because I've got nothing to do at the moment.

What is funny is that the veterans of the most vicious wars in history like WW2 and Vietnam etc. are the staunchest anti-war campaigners and pacificsts now. You don't get older soldiers on the frontline shooting at other people. You get younger soldiers who are too young to know any better, and who can be more easily manipulated to put their lives on the line for nothing. I don't know what could compel someone to go and do that. Interviews with front line soldiers today displays a blatant lack of understanding of the conflict as to why they are fighting. They just want to fight. Here's to brainwashing idiots. Education is the only solution for this sort of situation. I don't mind being branded or labelled a pacifist. Warfare, and the sickening nature it brings out in humans, and the sickening profiteering it brings out in corporations, has to be abandoned. In the end, we all just end up dying. I recall a quote from the Dalai Lama (who I'm incidentally now following...on twitter, hahaha!) roughly meaning that conflict which was brought about to end conflict has never worked, as conflict is still around. Exceptionally valid point. Well played, Dalai, well played.

Going back on a statement that I made the other day about catholic priests and celibacy, I wonder why buddhist monks who are celibate don't have the same problems? Then again it might not even be reported. But it's interesting to think about. While I do support the royal commission into the Church cover up, I don't support the idea of forcing priests to give up details of confession. When the law interferes with faith, we have gone a bit too far. I know this makes my earlier comment on abortion hypocritical, but I think this is entirely different. Health and trust are different things, and confession is an integral part of catholicism.

Anyway, let's leave it here for now.

Joaquin out.

Yes, Yes

As opposed to no, no.

I just had a look at my task list and realised that I have absolutely nothing to do today. I mean there's stuff on there, but most of it is in the hands of other people at the moment, and I've already followed up. So basically, today will consist of me just sitting here and typing this blog post, but hey, that's cool.

Hahaha, I love being proven wrong. Just had a flurry of activity on an old task, which required me to wrack my brain for some answers. But with that out of the way, it's time to get on to more important things, such as blogging!

I'm sure I've mentioned the idea of race being a social construct. People may look at someone with let's just say dark skin and then assume that because another person has dark skin, that they must be genetically related or similar. However, science has shown that to be false. A white person could be more closely genetically related to a dark person than another white person. Ergo, they are the same, except for the colour of their skin. That makes racist people absolute idiots, because they don't understand science. I know there are arguments concerning eugenics at play here, but on the face of genetic proof, there's really no basis for race based discrimination. It brings into question a lot about genetic variation, consdering we all evolved from the same place. We were all dark skinned at some point, I wonder when the first white people came into existence? Shouldn't there be more variation? I mean there are white people, black people, brown people, asian people, and that's basically it, right? Am I missing a racial group in there? Well surely I am, considering I'm lumping in some categories with others. But right there, I just used race to classify something, when it's basically all bullshit anyway. All racism is born from fear and selfishness. I don't like this guy cause he's from another country, which turns to, I don't like this guy, because he doesn't look like me, to - I don't like this guy, he isn't me.

I like to randomly read wikipedia when I get the chance. All topics seem fascinating to me. Today I was reading up on Puerto Rico. I had only recently found out that it's an unincorporated State of the United States. Wow, who would have guessed?! That's nuts! But that's when things get a little more sinister. Apparently the US legislature makes the laws for Puerto Rico, but Puerto Ricans cannot vote in US presidential elections. Excuse me! What the fuck?! That's oppression and non-democratic at all. Don't get me started on the hypocrisy of championing democracy and voting in all that, when you are exercising power over another nation that technically does not form part of your country. I wonder what's going to occur with independence? It's 2012 for fuck's sake, people should be in charge of their own affairs.

What I find interesting about criminal law in this town is that it's never about the sort of crime you read about in books or see on tv and films. It's almost always related to drug crime. Assaults, burglary theft, etc. are all just extensions of dirty druggos and junkies needing a fix, or acting crazy after a binge. Well that and people drinking too much. So much for this town, the trouble has become all the more apparent over the past 10 years or so.

Had an interesting thought while on the bus yesterday. I think there's an inherent problem with the separation of powers doctrine. Yes, we are trying to get away from the concept of one arm of governance wielding too much power, but the rift between the judicature and legislature is quite pronounced. Can you read the mind of someone? No, of course not, you fucking idiot! So why is an entire arm of governance devoted to the ever increasing task of engaging in legislative interpretation? You don't know what Parliament intended. What's more, is that the Parliament is accountable to the people through a democratic process. Judges and Courts are not open to any form of scrutiny except through the judicial system, which inordinately places people at the wrong end straight away. Parliaments make legislation, they should be able to clarify how aspects of their law are supposed to work. Judges should just apply the law as it is, and not engage in anything further.

Didn't get a chance to catch up on the previous blog posts last night, but I will get there eventually. I'm not the sort of person who gives up! On this particular point, I was looking over the hits to previous posts and realised that even though I am posting much more often, the more recent posts have less hits, but readership of the blog overall is still high. What's causing this? I mean if someone just goes to dropc.blogspot.com what hit does that get attributed to? Because they haven't clicked on a particular post, it's just the blog as a whole. Ditto for going back through the archives and what not. So tell me blogger, how does it work? But this got me thinking about dilution. Since I have posted so much, are posts now becoming too diluted for people to keep up? This also got me thinking about facebook, and the idea that if you have a lot of friends on facebook, you will pay less attention to what's going on with your news feed. This also speaks volume about the world in general. As the population expands at a massive rate, nobody is going to stand out. Nothing is going to stand out, because there are just so many people. Nothing is special. Nobody is special. Instead, we are stuck in a wasteland of reality tv bullshit, with people like the Kardashians commanding princely sums of money for having no discernible talent. And this is what people will strive for, in order to stand out. To rise above the rest and not be diluted with the remainder of society. People are a cancer on the planet. I am dead certain that given enough time, Earth will become like Coruscant in Star Wars mythology - a planet city all densely populated.

And in all the fairytales, all the girls were light skinned and tall, whereas all the boys were tall, dark and handsome. Hello conservatives, haha!

Gosh, what are the mysteries of personal growth? To just get to the other side?

It's not a question of what I want you to do about it, because you shouldn't ask me. Just do something. Something.

Have an overwhelming urge to just go and travel again. Somewhere tropical. Been reading up on places I've already been. As a side thought, I think the worst mistake any tourist can make (and being from the West, we must be especially mindful of) is thinking your country is better than anyone elses, and thinking yourself superior to everyone else. We are all people and at a basic level, we are really all quite similar. So get out there and see the world.

Some things are harder to take than others. Sunday is so, so grey. Why did you do it? Now I'm reminded of this at every single turn. Everything takes on a surreal edge.

Then I remember, I am not here.

It's not about me is it?  It's got nothing to do with me.

Joaquin out.