Following On

Damn, I had some good points to start off today's post with, but I can't recall them for the life of me.

So as usual, let's just make this shit up! Haha.

Oh well, sometimes even the best laid plans can fall by the wayside when you factor in the weather. As Crowded House said, always take the weather with you.

For those of you who don't have access to awesome programs like Winamp, you probably haven't discovered the awesome world of equalisation, where you can make your music sound even better by altering how different aspects of the noise signal come through. For the uninitiated, I'd recommend using windows media player to play songs and turn on the SRS WOW setting through options/enhancements. You'll notice a world of difference, and even some of your old faves are going to end up sounding different.

So what else is there to do, really?

At least today is a better day in the office.

Cold, wet and miserable outside. I'd like to be home. In fact, I have way too much leave up my sleeve that I have not used. I should recharge my batteries and get on with life. That seems like par the course these days.

I read today that Canon is looking at buying a top level domain - so something would be xedewe.canon which I think is a silly idea. We shouldn't allow companies to buy their way into changing this sort of stuff. It's shameless self promotion, really.

Ah the myth that one can do it all. The sooner we can bust that, the better.

Oh aristocratic thugs in our universities. It's really quite disgusting, especially when people aim to emulate these fucktards in behaviour. Or even the supposed elitishness of the universities that they frequent. It's the kind of place where conservatives get their fuck on and can propagate their own bullshit for another generation.

What's that? Only 3:30! I've still got 90 minutes of this crap to get through before I can go home. At least with my old job, I was mostly busy, so it didn't matter if I had to work longer. Well that and other things.
I really should get back to my blog intro/retrospective. Still at the start of 2005. If I don't get a move on, I'll never be able to catch up, considering the phenomenal rate at which I'm able to blog this year.

Oh the scars on this heart. The pain upon this soul. These wounds grow ever deeper with each breath that I take. Picking rotten fruit from the tree. We are where we end up.

What other skills can I learn? Any suggestions? Anyone? Something fun and brain teasing that takes some time to develop?

Well it seems like the other has most likely left this blog to me, so I guess we can all just wish him well on his hiatus.

What amazes me is that when people have problems with computers, they tend to ask around and have a freak out. Yet, they never realise that they have the best research tool in the history of mankind at their fingertips (tip: you're on it right now). Nobody uses the internet for these sorts of issues!! Yes, barring a browser issue, you can just type your issue into google and you'll probably end up with a good answer (and if you're lucky, step by step diagrams). I don't know why people don't tend to realise expanded possibilities with the internet, they're just restricted to how they typically use it, in terms of recreation and forced research, not practical solutions.

Mmmmm wanna go home and eat chips and bananas.

Anyhow, I'd better leave this here for now.

Joaquin out.

The Irony Of It All

Well I suppose it was my comeuppance. But these things happen from time to time. Just have to own up and take responsibility for it, I suppose. I wonder what happens to me? I wonder what happened to me?

It may all be too late and everything has been jeopardised.

My memory has just become rotten to the core lately. I cannot for the life of me recall anything in terms of short term memory. This morning I went to work without putting deodorant on! I mean how messed up is that??! I just showered and put my clothes on, now I'm paranoid that I smell, considering it's a hot day. Blah! Memory failing, even the regular routine of the day is failing me!! How can this be occurring??!

I wish I could live it over again, you know. This life. Make different decisions and just see how things panned out. Just like a choose your own adventure type novel, where you can avoid the outcomes you don't like. How different would my life be now, I wonder?

Yeah, yeah everybody loves you.

What am I dreaming of? I can't even remember anymore.

Just want to tune out the rest of the day. In fact, I just want to be at home and sit on the couch. Not even play any games or watch any movies. Just lay down and let life pass me by.

I hate to quote a tv show theme song, but I really do feel like I'm stuck in second gear today.

That moment of non-realisation, of non-being. How do you make that moment last forever?

Oh man, Chess Titans has dropped out of my recently open list. How terrible! I really wish I had gotten better at chess. Then again, I only learned how to play not all that long ago.

What's really getting to me is the recurring flashbacks of the city. The city I used to live in. It's no longer about dreams or life, it's just a stark raving nightmare.

Each birthday steadily gets worse, in my humble opinion.

Hmmm I don't know what's going on in the world anymore. But the world doesn't seem to affect me anymore.

Struggling for acceptance and understanding. It irks even more when you know that at one point it existed, but that ended.

What is the cumulative effect of baggage? Not luggage related, but emotional baggage. Are we really just the sum of our experiences? If that's the case, then what is it all for? Because at some point, there are no more experiences. Unless there's an accounting mechanism at the end of it, then it's really all for nought.

The weather has turned and it looks ominous outside. I'm just looking forward to an evening of tv and not doing much.

Ah I wish xkcd was updated everyday! Well either that, or if the new what if section was updated more than once a week. Not that I'm complaining, just making an observation. The guy puts in loads of effort and we get free, high quality entertainment, which is always great.

I want to learn a new skill, but I don't know what I could possibly do.

There always needs to be a poor class. The poor keep the middle classes humble. It's sick that we're divided into so many categories. I guess it makes it so much more easier to discriminate.

Brain. Fried. I need to get out of here. I do yearn for travel. Just to blow some cash and relax on some beach somewhere and not think about anything.

How very off-putting. I wonder how and why things changed? For me and for everyone.

More innane ramblings I see. Let's see if I can string together some coherent thoughts tomorrow.

Joaquin out.

Fallow

People always complain that this is town is too small. Well to that I say it's not small enough. Especially when I was everywhere I needed to be, except the right place. I guess I should have known better, but what do you expect? I'm an idiot, right! It's just right across the lake! I see this place when

I need to stop being overzealous about everything. Just have to take my time and not have a freak out, because what can you really do about things that can't be helped? Doesn't mean I'm still not upset though.
Hey, I'm entitled.

I wish I was smarter than I was. I would just love to be able to sit and think things through.

Goddamn it! I was looking forward to having a relatively easy day, and then BAM! In the space of literally 2 minutes, everything has become urgent. Sigh! I don't need this crap.

My fingers are all scratched and raw from so much guitar. I wouldn't have it any other way.

I'm finding it difficult to focus, just too distracted by other things.

What's the nature of life? I mean, if life is random, then the idea of consciousness, and awareness and emotion is entirely wasted. It's sick, so sick (thank you, Daniel Negreanu).

I'm faster than I ever have been in my life. I don't know about sprinting, but middle distance, I'm in the best shape of my life. Ahh, the race. It was fun. I could win even more now. Alas, there is no more chance for that.

It looks murky outside, like the day just doesn't want to be. Like it's a beautiful day but has been aborted.

It hasn't been a good day. Don't jeopardise things. I may have already done that with my blatant stupidity and zealousness. Do I really lack patience?

Ssssssasaaa saaaaa. Hahaha, I have picked up that bad habit from one of my friends of just saying that. I don't know why, but it's great stress relief.

Anyhow, that's it for now.

Joaquin out.

Impossible Much?

Well there you fucking well go.

It makes a bit more sense I suppose.

Should have probably guessed, but who knows, right?

Not that there was anything to do about it.

Nothing could be done, actually!  I was just too late.

It's weird how those things link up though.

Hmmmmmmmmm.  Most of this weekend was a waste of time.

Problem unresolved, but at least I know I couldn't have possibly fixed it.

Fuck, work tomorrow.  I don't want to go.

Let's see where this week takes us though.

Joaquin out.

Steep

My body is betraying me. Mistakes that should have been rectified generations ago. Couldn't they have gotten it right? But then I suppose if that was the case, I wouldn't be here. But then again, that probably would be for the best.

At least I'm talented. Shame that most people don't know it.

It's a beautiful day outside. I can't enjoy it.

Fighting the urge to fall asleep and just give up.

How Do You Solve A Problem?

Like Maria? And does that mean Maria is the problem? Or is she good at solving problems?

I like solving problems, but I wouldn't say I'm adept at it. But this is incredibly difficult to solve. I don't even know what the nature of the problem is.

The mystery deepens.