Grades Or Lack Thereof

Just hanging back, waiting for something (or anything) to happen.

You know what I've been thinking lately?  This is all just a shared delusion.  Reality is hampered or interpreted by perception.  The human brain is amazing, but it is fundamentally flawed, and it can be tricked easily.  Therefore what we mean to be reality or truth is just the majority coming together to band around a shared delusion.  Anyone who doesn't believe that is treated as wrong or as an outsider, until they can convince others to entertain that same delusion.

I was going to say this extends to academia.  There is no true objective truth.  I was going to put a disclaimer about the hard sciences in there, but even that's not the case because of the above statement.  There's no 'inherent correctness' about it, just interpretation.  Everything comes down to how well you told the story.  It's about the winnable narratives.  Isn't that disturbing?

I wonder if humanity will ever venture into a black hole?  That'll be pretty cool.  Considering the difficulties of data, it'll be interesting to see what could ever come of it.

You know what I've realised?  Steam works like a gym.  They hope to sell you games but they hope you don't play.  Gyms actually sell a lot of memberships and some tiny places have memberships above 6000 or so, but you never see those people there.  Why?  People just buy the membership in hopes of getting fit but don't commit, or they lose their nerve eventually.  Therefore the gym profits and you lose out.  Most people I know buy a lot of Steam games, especially when they have their recurring sales, but they don't play them.  In fact most hardly ever play.  Therefore Steam and the people they have distribution deals with are making out like bandits, just like a gym!

And there you go.

Joaquin out.

Such A Waste

I'm so bored.

Like really really bored.

I've never been this bored before.

I'm bored of me.

I'm bored of you.

I'm bored of this.

I'm bored of that.

I'm bored of life.

Sigh.

Joaquin out.

The Autopilot Is My Copilot

Well 2015 was better than 2011 on this blog (if only ever so slightly).  Here's to hoping 2016 is somewhat better.  I've had some good ideas, just haven't really been assed to blog, which is a shame.

There's a weird scale of life isn't there?  Not just in terms of memories.  Remember when you were a kid and a few minutes felt like an eternity?  That's because you're young and you don't really have a scale of reference.  You haven't been around long enough to compare timeframes.

I remember when I was 6 and all the 12 year olds at school seemed so gigantic.  Then in high school at age 13, all the 16 year olds seemed so adult like.  Now, looking back, 12 year olds and 16 year olds are all so tiny and child like.  They're so young!  How could I ever think that they were the literal and figurative giants of my youth?  I used to fear them!  Hahaha.

What of life?  Experience scale.  Everyone is different.

I've been using a lot of adaptive cruise control - I love it because you can keep the car in cruise control and it will keep that speed up on hills (up and down), with automatic throttle and engine braking, and because you can adapt the control - like you can drive a bit faster if you need to overtake someone, but if you let go of the accelerator, it will calmly revert back to the original speed.  Really fancy, and I like how it's basically on every car these days.  How times change.

There's a warning, because the car keeps to that speed no matter what, regardless of road conditions.  The car doesn't know.  It will do what it can to maintain that speed, regardless at the cost of your life.  Isn't that what reality and time is?

I also wonder what's more efficient for fuel, cruise control on a cross country trip, or using your own wits?  I also what it does to your mind as a driver?  Are you still paying the same amount of attention to the road?  To passengers?  It'll be interesting to see the stats on fatal accidents where cruise control was involved.  But will we ever know?  Maybe it's not as safe as everyone assumes.

And more questions to go.

We are done here.

Joaquin out.

Punched In The Guts By Google Maps!

What are the things we learn?  Are they relevant in the end?

This does not represent a return to casual blogging goodness.  I'll get back into it someday.  Things have just changed.  I don't have the time that I used to, and I don't have the capacity.  It would be great.  I have plenty of things I'd like to say.  Hopefully in time I'll remember, and I'll be able to get those words out to all of you.

Thanks for sticking with us (well me) during the hiatus.  It's not like I've been sitting on my ass the whole time.

I remember the first fight I was ever in, it was over in no time.  I was like 9, and the other kid was like 11 or 12 and he was a behemoth.  Just some gigantic motherfucker.  I can't remember what happened, I think I was talking to his sister or something (who was about my age - no flirting or anything, I wasn't even into girls at that age), and he got amped up and just totally punched me in the stomach.  Hard.  It hurt like hell and I was down for the count.  One punch, over.  I cried like a bitch, of course.  Then I realised nobody was going to help me after that.  I found out he was a black belt in karate.  So why did he feel the need to punch out a kid smaller and younger than him?  So weird.  I wonder what happened to him?

For all everyone talks about how much worse our life is with technology, I think it actually makes our life easier.  Well more convenient anyway.  We can live without it, sure, but it should be up to people to make a choice.  Remember that 10km walk I did with no directions?  I just kept line of sight to the city and I gradually made it home.  Just look out for landmarks and keep your eyes open.  Not all that difficult.  I made it.  It was an odyssey of sorts.  But imagine if I'd had Google Maps?!  I wouldn't have gotten lost, I would have been able to listen to music as I was given GPS style directions.  Wow.  What a world!

What a world?

Indeed.

Until the next unguaranteeable time!

Joaquin out.

First Day Last Day

It's been a long time coming.  Can I make the most of the 90 minutes I have left?  Sometimes it just happens without a reason.  At least I knew my time was coming.  Where does life go from here on out?  Do things change?  I'm not scared.  I'm not afraid of things I've already experienced.  The sauce isn't worth the squeeze.  The squeeze isn't worth the juice, and other stupid things.  Other people are going through the exact same thing.  I'm not bothered. 

It's been a while since I've blogged, but that's because I've had so many things on.  Work, changing jobs, study.  Just general exhaustion.  I just want to sleep and never wake up, ever.  But in good news, the other has gone back to Bangers town for a little while this month.  I've encouraged him to blog, but with the internet over there being so slow, who knows if it's even a remote possibility.  We'll see!

Somedays you just want to hope that plans fall through and you can just go home and relax.  Some people are just too intimidating.  I've got nothing.  Like literally nothing!  There's nothing you can do in that kind of situation. 

Who knows?

I wonder.

Joaquin out.

You Can't Build Momentum

You just get bottlenecked and nothing will ever eventuate.  But I have to go and try my best.  The wheels are in motion, but not enough of them to give me what I need. 

Yeah, I think it was you.  It would make sense.  Fuck it, I'm going to leave work early today.  I've done enough today.  I don't want to see anyone.  I don't want to go anywhere.  Just let me be nothing.  This is all an accident.  A sick accident.  I shouldn't be here.  There's been a major mistake.

I've slipped through the cracks, and here I am.  My existence was an accident.  It's a hard thing to come to grips with.  But here I am.

Joaquin out.